Story: Half Goddess Akane

Not come up with options for this, got any ideas guys?

 

There are many ways you can describe Ranma Saotome. Arrogant, conceited, cocky, a loudmouth, a playboy, and so forth. But one thing that's often overlooked is that Ranma loves little more than teasing people. There are, maybe, two things he loves more. Showing off and... Definitely not a girl that is actually descended from divinity. No sir, no how!

Anyway! An opportunity had arrived right in Ranma's lap for a little bit of teasing. It wasn't a normal target. But that made it no less welcome!

"Who's a good girl? It's you! You're a good girl!"

"Crazy lady let go Shampoo!"

It was quite the sight to behold. Shampoo was a really strong martial artist, slippery too when she wanted to be. Despite that, and her attempts to escape/strike Akane's grandmother, she was utterly at the woman's mercy. It was like watching a bear trying to escape the grip of a giant kraken. It could push away or bit into one tentacle, but there were plenty others right there to grab on.

"Oh my goodness," Sayuri said, frantically scribbling in a notepad. "So many ideas! Hold that pose, the pair of you."

Ignoring her. What was especially bizarre is that it didn’t look like Amaterasu was restraining Shampoo at all. She was just asking her about her day and what she did for a living. Occasionally patting her on the head. But every time Shampoo tried to move she’d be gently sat back down.

"No treat Shampoo like pet!" Shampoo warned, to absolutely no avail.

And there it was. The chance. Ranma couldn't stop himself - and likely wouldn't have tried even if he could.

"But you do have a curse that turns you into a cat," Ranma said.

“Oh so that’s why her soul looks half cat. It’s very cute.”

Ohohoho, the last time Shampoo had looked at him like that, she'd just been kicked off a log.

"Airen no play games," Shampoo warned. She tried to stand up, but was gently put back over Amaterasu's knee and given a nice soothing back rub. "Airen not as good at this game as he thinks."

Alas, Shampoo had forgotten who he was dealing with because, as said above, one of the things Rnama loves the most is showing off. Which means one of the things he hates the most is being told he can't do something. Unless that something is really stupid.

Or... as would soon be evidenced, Ranma thought was really stupid.

"Tickle behind her ears, she really likes that," Ranma said. Amaterasu did exactly that, tickling behind Shampoo's ears.

"Airen! Purrrr.. Really pushing... purrrr... It now!" Shampoo had clearly been a cat too much if she was purring. “Shampoo tell Airen that for Airen to to!” She complained, “Not for crazy lady saying she god!”

He'd been screwing around but it turned out wow she kind of did like that, it hadn’t been one of her weirder tricks Man, he could keep this going for hours, probably.Sure, when Shampoo eventually got out he'd probably regret it, but heck. De-escalation was for wimps.

A very serene smile formed on Shampoo’s face, it reminded Ranma of Kasumi. “Thank you Miss Amaterasu for nice head-pats.”

“Oh you’re welcome Shampoo. You really do remind me of Ame…” She said in a gentle tone.

“Ah, so has Miss Amaterasu met other girls who like Airen? Like Ukyo Kuonji, who runs restaurant called Ucchans down in shopping district?” She fluttered her eyelashes.

Uh oh. That's the trouble with escalations. The other person tends to escalate harder.

"Wait, Ukyo has nothing to do with -" Ranma began, but a bit too late for Amaterasu had already fled faster than he could even blink. Now. Akane's grandmother harassing Shampoo was one thing. He didn't really like Shampoo all that much. But Uchan? "Aw, nuts!"

<hr>

All things considered, Ukyo had been going through a pretty average day so far. An average level of customers, an average warmth, all perfectly average. I mean, sure there was that weird massive localised storm after she'd helped blow up Akane's wedding, but compared to things like Jusenkyo curses, a tunnel that cursed loving couples that went in, that really annoying ghost cat that tried to offers up its services as a mouse catcher in exchange for her marrying it... It kind of fell off her back a little, you know? It was probably a martial arts technique like the Hiryu Shoten Ha

Okay, so Konatsu had been shaking her head a bit more than usual. That was fine, whatever. So what if her new ninja waitress was disappointed that she simply had to go and blow up a wedding? Big deal, who cares what she thinks, she's paid to look cute and serve food to the customers -

The door rang .Konatsu rushed over and bowed. "Welcome to Uchan's- "Konatsu began, then looked up... and flat out prostrated herself on the floor in front of the new arrival.

Well. It wasn't hard to see why. A woman had walked inside, and even Ukyo had to admit to being impressed. She was really pretty. Carried herself with a dignity that went above Royalty. She was dressed up like a princess from centuries ago, yet somehow she was able to move in that outfit with a level of grace Ukyo hadn’t seen before. Also, weirdly, she looked a lot like an older version of Akane. All the baby-fat gone, a touch of maturity settling on her features. But then you looked at her at another angle and she seemed just as young, somehow.

Which, upon realising this, made Ukyo all the more determined to make her move now before Akane turned out like this. No way would Ranma be able to take his eye off her if she turned out half as pretty as this!

"Good afternoon… handsome," the woman said, sitting at the grill and batting her eyes. Ah, now this was one thing Ukyo was very used to. See, she was really good at this crossdressing thing. On top of that, she was very cute. So. do the maths. She was hit on all the time by girls and women who thought they were talking to a very handsome young man instead of a very pretty girl. "Is there a woman in your life?"

"I'm engaged, sorry!" Ukyo replied immediately. It was true. Now, Ranma didn't exactly accept that they were engaged yet. But he would! In time!

"That's a shame," the woman said. Uh oh. Huh? She was more interested after hearing that? "Especially since your 'fiance' is not a girl all the time and so very obviously destined for another."

Aha. Alright. So. This customer had her interest before. Now she had Ukyo's attention.

"I should introduce myself," the woman said. "Akane's Grandmother. Gosh, you really are adorable, you know that?"

“You don’t even look old enough to be Akane’s mother, yet alone her grandmother.”

“We Tendos age very well.”

"Whatever," Ukyo sniffed. "So, here to scope out the competition? Going to try to make me drop Ranma so Akane can marry him? I ought to kick you..."

Huh. Weird. While staring at this woman's smiling face, she almost seemed to glow. It was really pretty. Also, peaceful. So peaceful. It felt, all of a sudden, like she'd have an easier time asking the sun not to rise in the morning than kicking her out.

“I just wanted to see what sort of women are also interested in my future Son-in-Law. It’s been a long time since I visited family, and Akane and her fiance have some very interesting lives.” She said. "I didn't expect to find someone like you and your servant."

Her servant? Oh. Konatsu came by with what looked like an offering. It was hard to tell because, as usual, Konatsu had undervalued currency and was only offering ten yen.

"Oh gracious, how generous of you," the woman said. She pocketed the change. "It is, after all, the spirit of the offering  that counts rather than the amount.” She patted Konatsu on the head. “You are adorable, by the way. Absolutely adorable! Seeing this level of devotion to your master, the love burning in your heart that you know you cannot reach, that you feel unworthy of.. Forced to watch as she pines for another that she will never have! Oh! You don't ever find that kind of tragedy in mortals these days.Everyone's lives are so standardised and predictable, it's not like back when there were samurai running around. Even the monsters are boring now."

"H-Hold on, you're finding amusement and entertainment in our apparent unrequited love?" Ukyo asked. Urge to kick her out rising. Ah! Don't look directly at her! That smile, damn that smile! "That's really twisted!"

The bell over the door rang, and thank goodness, Ranma had arrived. Seeing her chance Ukyo ran up to him, pinching herself to make tears flow.

"Ranchan! Akane's grandmother is being meaaaaaan!"

Oh, blast! Shampoo pushed Ranma out of the way at the last possible moment! That was the perfect chance for some skinship. But... looking at Ranma's face, he had determination in his eyes. He was looking at Akane's grandmother with fiery determination, and then he said -

"It's a good thing she doesn't know about Kodachi - oops!"

That was rather loudly and obviously said. That's right. She had forgotten. He's kind of a brilliant idiot.

"Another girl interested?" Akane's grandmother perked up.

"Kodachi Kuno, Tatewaki's sister!" Shampoo also loudly said.

"A stalker then, that's boring. I'll hang out around here a bit longer."

Shampoo being smug was honestly the worst thing Ukyo could imagine right now. But, now she was picking up on what was going on here. Ranma was trying to save her from this annoying pretty Goddess-like pest, while Shampoo was trying to keep her focused this-a-way.

"It's a good thing she doesn't know about Mousse!" Ukyo loudly said. "I mean, he's been after you for a long time!"

"Mousse is stalker too!" Shampoo loudly replied. "Too too boring, not worth time. Ukyo much more interesting."

"I don't know!" Ukyo continued. Shoot, how could she pass this buck back to Shampoo? "Uh..."

"What exactly are you two arguing about, anyway?" Akane's grandmother asked. Which rather undercut the whole thing. "It almost sounds like you're fighting over which one of you is allowed to hang out with me."

They were. But not in the way she probably intended. Ukyo stared heatedly at Shampoo, who returned the favour tenfold.

Although, it must be said. Ranma wasn't the only one in the room who adored trolling people. And that person had found a whole new set of toys to play with. Joy!