Success! The sweet, sweet taste of a plan going exactly as it should! Hiroshi was having a tough time not smiling. Akane Tendo, perverted buddy. It had a nice ring to it. Still, this was merely the first step of their plan - the next step would be where the fun would really start!
"Excuse us one second," Hiroshi said, grabbing Daisuke by the arm. "You don't mind finishing this off by yourself, do you? There's something us boys have to discuss among ourselves."
"No, no, you go ahead," Akane said, eyes thoroughly fixed on the hentai in front of her. "Oooh, I didn't even realise you could do it in that position!"
On leaving the room the two boys started to do the dorkiest victory celebration dance you can possibly imagine.Lots of fist pumping, spinning around, high fives, and clumsy attempts to keep it quiet.
"Okay, okay, we've got her hooked," Daisuke said. "Can we please at least cop a feel? You know, before we go after the rest of Ranma's harem?"
"In time, in time," Hiroshi said, wagging his finger. "She's treading the waters of perversion. I want her drowning in them before we go that far!"
"Oh, man!" Daisuke huffed. "But you hear her going on about how she's going to do this and that with Ranma, right? If I have to hear that for a week, I'm gonna lose my mind."
"It shouldn't be a week," Hiroshi said. "At the rate this is going, she should be there by dusk tomorrow. Although, I guess we could always consult the book to see if it has suggestions..."
Hiroshi and Daisuke stared at each other for thirty seconds, as if waiting for something.
"Well?" Daisuke asked. "You've got the book, right?"
"I thought you had the book."
Behold, the grand conspirators. Such genius is unparalleled in this modern time. The implications of this hit them at about the same time, and their faces turned white even as their minds tried to deny what very bloody well could have happened. Then, one of them grabbed the door handle (later if you asked neither would remember which had done so) and gave it a turn, dreading what they might find within.
What they found was, indeed, the amalgamation of their worst fears made manifest. Akane Tendo was lying on the bed, with a familiar book tucked under her, and a scowl on her pretty face.
It was about time for them to be elsewhere. Alas, the trouble with fleeing from a decently skilled martial artist is that unless you are a better martial artist or athlete than they are, there's a very good chance they're going to be faster than you. The two boys managed exactly three steps before being grabbed by the collar and yanked hard back into the room, then thrown onto the floor hard enough that it caused the door to slam shut.
Suddenly the two boys realised that they were deeply and thoroughly fucked, and not in the fun way. It was well known by the boys what this look meant. The figure of Akane was extremely appealing, but when she crossed her arms, tapped her foot impatiently and stared down at you with those deep furrowed brows, it felt like you were about to have the hounds of hell set upon you.
Except that the usual fate was worse than that. Akane might start throwing fists. Or throwing you.
"Care to explain, boys?" Akane asked, holding up the book. "Friendly Hentai Tome, was it? Some kind of spellbook?"
"It was Hiroshi's idea!" Daisuke said. This guy always cracked under prisoner's dilemma like situations, and he could feel one being set up from a mile away.
"Dude, at least have a little spine!" Hiroshi hissed, giving him a hard elbow.
As for Akane, she was narrowing her eyes ever further.
"So, you did use this on me?" she asked. "You used the advice and magic of this book to get close to me, and try to turn me into your perverted buddy?" Her hands reached out. It was funny. They were small hands, they looked delicate, but they had a vice like grip. "Well, there's only one thing for it then, isn't there?"
This was it. This was the end of their lives. Or they'd wish it was. Akane Tendo was going to pound them into mulch. And given she managed to beat the crap out of dozens of morons every morning without putting a single one in the hospital, she was skilled enough to not make it permanent!
Or she could kiss them both on the cheek and set them down.
"Oh boy, the looks on your faces," Akane said. "Hah! You jerks had it coming for trying to corrupt me like this. Trying to make me your 'friend with benefits' was it? Please!"
"Y-You're not mad?" Daisuke asked.
The two boys were suddenly filled with all inspiring dread, and started to bow and scrape on the floor for forgiveness. Neither of them were trained to feel a battle aura, but when it's this dense and this pissed off it hardly matters.
"I'm pretty furious at you for pulling that!" Akane said. "I mean, I'm grateful that you let me understand what's so fun about hentai, and I'm grateful that you helped me get past my insecurity and denial about the nasty, dirty things that I wanted to do to Ranma. In both forms. I'm mostly pissed off that you thought you could mess around with me like this and get away with it!"
"Eh? But that's not our plan at all!" Hiroshi said.
"R-Right!" Daisuke hastily added. "Our plan was to sic you on Ranma, and then seduce the other girls after him."
Akane glowered at them for a full thirty seconds in complete and total silence. Then got down on her knees and spoke quickly in hushed tones.
"Alright, so here's the plan," Akane said. "At our double date you're going to challenge Ranma to make out with me. Use any trick in this book to do that. Pull that off and I'll rock his world so hard that the very existence of other girls will be impossible for him to comprehend."
"Even his girl side?" Daisuke asked.
And then, for the first time in their lives the boys caught sight of something... wonderful. And scary. Akane Tendo's full on, unabashed, unrestrained perverted grin.
"Oh, he'll be <i>fully</i> aware of his girl side," Akane corrected. Then made a lewd gesture with her hips that would keep both boys awake at night for the rest of the week. "Once I've got him good and distracted, you can work your magic on Ukyo and Shampoo - but be careful how hard you push them. You went a little too far in with me. Now, I can't even imagine doing anything lewd with you, because you're my little buddies and nothing more."
That was both disappointing and a reassurance. It felt like if Akane hadn't put them squarely in the mythical 'friend zone' then she might well have beat them up. While they wouldn’t get to have any ‘fun’ with the hottest girl in school, the goal was still open!
"So... How long have you been wanting to bang Ranma?"
"Oh, months now," Akane said. "But like I said, I'd been repressing it. He's such a loudmouth jerk. But then he's so sweet that I didn't know what to think. Sitting here and watching that hentai with you made me realise how much I want to pin him down and tear his clothes off -" She licked her lips hungrily. "Well, maybe it would be more fun if he pushed me over and did the same to me. Either way, it's thanks to you guys tearing down that damned wall of repression that I can finally move forward and get that big hunk for myself!
It was at this time that both boys realised a fateful truth. In their efforts to get themselves and Ranma laid, they had unleashed a monster. A beast of lust contained within the body of the hottest girl in school.
May the gods have mercy, for her libido would not.
- Akane takes the book home to study... And practise a few things on Ranma
- Skip to the double date.
- Akane takes charge, and makes some plans for them to seduce Shampoo and Ukyo.
- Something else
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