Sunday, 5 July 2020

Story: Aquafication


This is going to be hard to believe, but there's a guy out there even less popular with the ladies than Kazuma. No really, come back, it's true. Even that absolute jackass perverted NEET has better luck with women than this guy we're about to talk about.

His name is Dust, and he actually has kind of an interesting background story. You see, he's a great Dragon Knight from a certain kingdom who had gotten exiled after giving the lonely princess a ride on his dragon to cheer her up. Normally he could have been a powerful warrior on par with the greatest of heroes. Unfortunately, he promised the princess that he would only use a sword, leaving him far weaker than if he were to use a spear. Much less if he still had a Dragon to ride.

He was also a pervert who revels in his lust. A loser and delinquent who tended to get into enough trouble that he was a fairly well known visitor in the local jail. This had left him as perhaps the least popular male in the entire city, the only person even a certain archwizard wouldn’t take as a friend.

Speaking of that certain archwizard, she was watching with great concern and admiration as Megumin repeatedly -

"EXPLOSION!"

As I was saying, repeatedly -

"EXPLOSION!"

It's probably for the best that Beldia wasn't around anymore, or he'd be so scared his head might fall - I mean... Ahem. You get the idea.

"Uh, Megumin, don't you think that's enough?" Yunyun asked.

"Enough? Enough! You can never have enough EXPLOSION!"

This was the situation that Dust found himself in. Now, rather than turning tail and running, he instead took one look at these two girls and decided he wanted a piece of that. You can see why he's not exactly mister popular with the ladies.

"Hey babes, what's shaking?" Dust said. In broken English, after learning it from Kazuma. "Wanna come back to my place and get our freak down?" Yes, he had learned this from Kazuma, who had told him it was a very popular line to use on women where he came from.

Kazuma is an asshole, news at Eleven.

"Denied," both girls said, crossing their arms in front of themselves.

Dust hung his head low. "Man, I must be delivering it wrong or something," he griped. "Hey, can you girls help me figure out how I'm meant to say -"

"Denied!" both of them repeated.

Dust hung his head lower, then frowned. "Wait, you're part of Kazuma's harem, aren't you?" he asked, pointing at Megumin. "Man, I didn't recognise you there for a second. So what, is this a new fad around chicks? The blue streaks in your hair?"

"Megumin!" the bustier of the two girls yelled, grabbing hold of the noted Explosion Maniac's ear. Ballsy. Also, really kind of hot. "You joined a harem and didn't tell me?!"

"Who joined a harem?" Megumin sniffed, bonking Yunyun with her staff. "No, if I were to join a harem, then it would be more like the harem would be joining me! I would conquer it by my mere presence alone!" She flicked back her hair and put her hand on her hips, suddenly seeming haughtier than before. "I should have a harem worshipping the ground upon which I walk! I'm so popular the sun rises in the morning just to see my face! You'd better be careful when talking about harems, or I might accidentally cast a harem-splosion spell!"

Huh, she was making a really dumb face while saying that.

"Well anyway," Dust said. "You look like you need a stiff drink, I know a place..."

Yunyun froze as an unexpected feeling hit her. Alcohol sounded really good right now. Which was really strange for her because, bluntly, if you were to put together a list of the top ten most responsible people in the city, Yunyun would be on that list.

"Oooh, I could do with a drinky!" Megumin said, and as soon as she said that, her bust size sort of went... Blomph. Fuller boobs. Not quite as big as Yunyun's, but - that was quite concerning too.

"N-No, I think we'll have to decline," Yunyun said. But still, that urge for alcohol remained. Also, she was feeling like flaunting her chest and butt a little more for some reason. Like she was feeling prettier than Megumin all of a sudden, and that this should clearly be demonstrated to all and sundry?

"You know, that blue streak suits your hair pretty well too," Dust said out of nowhere.

"Blue streak?"

Yunyun sneezed all of a sudden. Then sneezed again. Then glowered at Dust when he was obviously staring at her bouncing boobs. Now, Yunyun was a girl who was desperate for friends, but there were limits. Hard limits, that could not be crossed, and this boy was definitely right up against them. Which is why - without thinking about it - she marched over and grabbed his cheek.

Then smiled at him. You all know the smile.

"Did you happen to see something really good?" Yunyun asked.

Then her top ripped open, exposing her breasts, which were now a fraction too big to be contained by them. Behind her, Megumin began to chuckle, but Yunyun turned bright scarlet, stepped away from Dust - whose face was even more perverted now than it was before - and screamed.

"Godly Toss!" she yelled, using magic to grab Dust's body and toss him off towards the castle.

"EXPLOSION!" Megumin yelled. Don't worry. Dust wasn't caught in it. He merely got the shockwave that inevitably results from a massive explosion. "Ohhh, yeah, that's the good stuff," Megumin moaned. "Doing this many explosions in a day, I never imagined this day would come."

"It would've come sooner if you'd put your EXP into your MP..." Yunyun sighed, then a thought struck her. The spell she'd just used... hadn't used any MP at all. Not one bit of it. She flexed her fingers and pointed directly at Megumin.

"Mud Toss!" she yelled, which in turn caused wet mud to land on Megumin's chest. Weirdly, the mud turned into water a moment later. Huh! How about that! "Hehehe..." Yunyun tittered. "I have infinite magic too!"

"Whaaaat? Not fair!" Megumin pouted, then pointed her staff dramatically at Yunyun. "It's clear to me now, that the fates are being unkind! They give me a precious gift, then share it with the unworthy! After I went to all the effort to... Uh... Steal the divine water of.. Um... A dragon's dark God? To acquire this power for myself!"

That... also struck Yunyun as weird. Megumin was normally much better at that kind of thing. Spontaneously coming up with obvious lies that were delivered in a really cool way, but you could tell it was a lie from her performance without any issue.

What was going on? Now she was worried, which made her start to absently play with a loose strand of hair... which is when she noticed something amiss. Normally her hair was raven black, like the clear night's sky.

Now it was blue, like the clear day's sky.

"... Eh?" Yunyun gasped. "My hair's turning blue! Just like yours!"

"Well duh, that guy did mention it right before your boobs popped out," Megumin sneered. "You were trying to copy my new style, right? Not that I can blame you!"

That's right. That pervert had commented on it, right before Yunyun tossed him away. How could she overlook something so obvious?! This was bad. Really bad. Something contagious, maybe? Something turning people into idiots?

"Megumin!" Yunyun yelled, grasping her friend by the arms. "We've got to quarantine, right away! We've been infected with the Stupids!"

"Wah, the Stupids?" Megumin gasped. "You just made that up, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did, but we're turning into idiots! We have to find a place to stay, otherwise the entire city will catch it!"

Of course, there was one small problem with that course of action. You see, Dust was picking himself up - the guy was sturdier than he looked - groaning, and stumbling his way right back into that very city, having decided that if Yunyun wouldn't accept his offer of a drink, then he'd go get one for himself.

"Man, that explosion messed me up," Dust said. Then sneezed - and a strand of his hair turned blue. "Good thing it was just the shockwave. If the whole thing had hit me, they'd be picking up pieces from the road for weeks."

  1. Yunyun is really starting to panic now.
  2. Dust starts spreading it around the tavern.
  3. Aqua still spreading... herself... around the city.
  4. Something else

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