You know what was the best thing for taking her mind off sex? Well, Benten didn't either! She wasn't used to feeling horny, so this was throwing her all out of whack. But! She was a smart chick. Her momma didn't raise no fool. If someone wanted to get her mind off something that was driving them nuts, just eat something horrifically unhealthy so your body has to dedicate the energy to digesting that instead of thinking!
"Hey Benten!" said the sentient ball of grease with tentacles and a chef's hat. "You want the usual?"
Welcome to Greaser Joe's, the slimiest and most unhealthy pit stop in the galaxy. See the walls and ceiling? Puke green. They used to be bright red. No paint applied. They just... gradually turned green over the course of time. Nobody knows what the floor is made of, at least not anymore. It <b>used</b> to be tile but now it was slightly springy.
"Smells delicious!" Ataru said, following her inside and patting his stomach. He hooked arms with her, and then she unhooked them so he put his hand over her shoulder, so she shrugged him off. "Come here often? Shoulda brought me sooner!"
"Aww, could it be?" Joe asked. "Could Benten have a bo-"
And that's when she shot him a look. A warning look that told him that finishing that sentence would be the very final thing he'd do in this universe. Not because she'd kill him. No, no. She'd build a multiversal gateway right here in his diner and kick him through it.
"Two of the usual!" Ataru cheerily called, resulting in slop being dumped on a tray and put right in front of him. One each. Heh. She watched his expression as the human poked and prodded it. Obviously too used to his chopsticks and silverware. Lum hadn't taught him about alien cutlery yet. Heh. The purple slime probably didn't suit his appetite either, but it was by far the most delicious looking food on the menu. By human standards. By anyone's standards.
"So, gonna eat it?" Benten asked. She slurped it up in a single go. Disgusting. She already wanted more. "Or are you gonna wuss out?"
"I ain't the kind to wuss out!" Ataru yelled. He pounded the table, causing the slop to spill up into the air - where he caught it in his mouth and swallowed it in a single gulp.
<I>Mount him to the table and fuck him raw.</i>
Ohhhh, boy, her pussy was getting antsy all of a sudden. I mean, that was kind of cool. Sort of. But not worth giving in to this guy over!
Meanwhile Ataru had started foaming at the mouth and turned a bright neon purple.
“First time your new friend having your usual?” Joe asked Benten.
“So… good… but so…. painful!” Ataru foamed out. Then he turned an interesting shade of yellow, jumped up to his feet and rushed off.
"He's a keeper," Joe mumbled. "Didn't even pass out, got up under his own power to get himself some water."
Yeah... she'd expected Joe's usual would've been enough to put him down for a while. Damn, she'd underestimated his stamina being able to withstand that. His stamina... which meant he could go all night long...
"Wow, that stuff even puts Lum's cooking to shame," Ataru said. He wiped at his mouth. "Heh! You really picked a good challenge, hot stuff. It'll take more than that to put me off. What do you want to do next?"
Sex. She wanted to sex next. Dammit, Benten was actually afraid of something. Opening her fool mouth and saying something like that! Ugh, that would be the end of her rep. Might as well dive into the nearest black hole if she did something like that. And... don't lean in so damned close! Ugh! What was it about this guy that was doing this to her?! Not even Rei got this kind of reaction out of her, and he was a stone cold class A weapon of mass panty ruiner! If only she could work out what this guy's trick was. If only she could concentrate on something other than fighting off these funny feelings!
The sound of someone putting their big meaty boot on the table next to her was actually a massive relief.
"Hey, you'se Benten aintcha?" asked a very large man with a horse's head, wearing a thick leather jacket. "I'se hearda you'se! You s'pposed ta be some kinda racin' genius or summit?"
"He's challenging you to a race," said the mink-girl clinging onto his side and nuzzling into his chest. Honestly Benten had thought she was a fashion accessory rather than a person. "Isn't that right snugglebum?"
"Is right on sugah! But why don't we make dis interestin'?" What the hell was this guy's accent even supposed to be? "I's betting you nevah had your skinny ass on a tag race, huh? I's kick yo skinny ass up and down dis here galaxay!"
"Hey, her ass is not skinny!" Ataru yelled. "It's perfectly proportioned just the way it is!"
Which earned him a chair applied directly to the forehead. A couple of times for good measure.
"Haha! Look at her snugglebum. So violent to her partner before the race has even started. We're sure to win."
"Hey!" Benten said, feeling the heat of frustration replacing the heat in her loins. "I didn't agree to your dumb race!"
"Bwahaha! She a-scared sugah!" the man said. He let out a braying laugh. "Guess she ain't so much the genius racer she s'pposed ta be!"
"Ignore him Benten," Ataru insisted from his rightful place beneath the seat of doom. "You don't have to accept some silly challenge!"
Ohhh, she had a vague feeling of being manipulated here, but Benten's pride as a racer was on the damned line. She didn't lose races. Not even unfair races which were rigged against her. It just wasn't something she <i>let</i> happen. That's the trick with the Lucky Gods. They're a competitive bunch. Like the Oni, they love their games and they love to play... but they love to win even more than that.
"Fine! You're on!" Benten yelled, grabbing Ataru by his collar and hauling his ass off to her bike. She dumped him in the rider-car and climbed aboard.
"Nuh, uh!" the girl wagged her finger. "No sidecar. He's got to ride with you. That's the power of real teamwork!"
"Well, you heard her," Ataru said. He climbed out of the sidecar and onto the seat behind her. "I didn't make the rules." His breath tickled the back of her neck. "You want to win this contest, right?"
Benten whimpered and squirmed in her seat. Heat rose up into her again and settled in her cheeks. She felt... sticky. All over. Like her entire body was covered in a thin layer of sweat. How had she let this happen? She should be creating distance between them, not letting him hang onto her! Every breath he took, she could feel his chest rising and falling. His arms were wrapped around her stomach and his hands resting in front of her navel. This was... torture! Sweet, unholy torture!
Stay strong Benten. You're strong. You don't get horny. You flirt with guys to make them trip themselves up, you don't get tripped up by guys. Especially not one so... average and plain looking at Ataru fucking Moroboshi! This is just something he's doing to you. Pheromones or some bullshit. Ignore it and it'll all go away -
"Ready, set, go!"
It'll all go away, it'll all go away, it'll all go -
"Hey, they've taken off already!"
"Huh?" Benten grunted. "Huh?!" Oh shit the race! Peddle down, time to go!
The track was, of course, mostly in space. Set up through a convoluted series of warp portals which took you down through multiple planets. You could see the direction to the next warp portal on the console on your bike, but other than that it was free reign! The first ring portal set up was only a hundred miles away, reachable in about two minutes if Benten didn’t turn on the turbo boosters.
Benten barely saw the laughing rivals disappear through the first warp gate, they had at least a good ten seconds on her already. They flew through, and wound up in a lush jungle full of tall trees and plants that looked like they wanted to eat you alive. Benten saw the arrow immediately and hightailed it in that direction, glimpsing the other bike darting through the foliage.
"Too slow!" the mink woman jeered.
Benten rolled her eyes. When the rivals pitched right, she pitched left. They went through a safe spot, away from the snapping vines while she went the shorter and more dangerous route clean through them too quick for them to take a bite. They made up a good eight seconds from that tiny shortcut.
"Awesome work!" Ataru said. He rubbed her shoulders, and that's when Benten started to unconsciously hump her seat. She wouldn't stop until the race was over.
The two bikes flew through the next gate at virtually the same time, winding up over a familiar looking city. The arrow was pointing... down! At street level! Grr, with this route there weren't any shortcuts she could take, it was pretty much a straight shot, so long as no people got in the blasted way!
People like the familiar looking woman in the miko robes chanting in front of the blasted warp gate!
"Oh, unholy gateway to the beyond," Sakura chanted. She held up various Earth charms and slapped them onto the gate. "I beseech you, leave this street be!"
"Look out!" Another Ataru yelled, leaping out of nowhere to tackle Sakura out of the way before the bikes ran her down.
“Sorry Miss Sakura, Four!” Her Ataru shouted, “We’re kind of in the middle of something!”
Sakura didn’t say anything, she was too busy having an internal argument with her Heart and Genitals again when her Ataru was on top of her.
Once they passed through the gate they found themselves mere miles below the surface of a star! On the bottom half, with solar flares erupting around them.
"Dey looks like dey is catchin' up!" the man said. "Yo, show that skinny ass the power of teamwork."
"Gladly dearest," the woman said. She reached into a bag and pulled out some small gadgets, which she tossed gently in the direction of Benten's bike.
Now, Benten was no slouch. She instinctively moved to dodge it - but alas it seemed as though these devices were magnetised. They changed directions and immediately clung onto the side of Benten's bike. Moments later its momentum started to drop.
“Dammit!” Benten reached underneath her seat and pulled out some gizmo which looked like half wrench half laser gun, “Start pryin’ those things off!” She tossed it back to Ataru.
"I got a better idea," Ataru replied. He twirled the gizmo around his fingers and tossed it right at the cheating bastards. They ducked. He missed. Benten gave him the stinkeye for wasting a perfectly good tool.
... But then the tool struck a stray meteor, causing it to change directions right into the cheater's path. During which time Benten got the first of the damned magnet things off. Ataru took her hand, grabbing the item - and then he tossed it right back to its owners.
The race was pretty academic after that. Their rivals had to change course too much, and then had a slower time than they wanted getting back onto it. Couple that with Benten's natural skill, and they were easily a good twenty seconds ahead.
"Ha! Shows you what you get for tryin' to cheat!" Benten stuck out her tongue at the pair as they crossed the finish line. "Beat you at your own game."
"Mess with the best, get tossed out with the rest!" Ataru cheered. He was still holding onto her from behind. His cheek was rubbing right up against hers, and Benten barely noticed when he pecked it. But she sure as shit noticed when he tilted her head and smooched her right on the lips.
Well... she noticed about a minute or three after that, because her brain went walkabout for a while. When it did eventually come back she pushed him away and immediately slapped him, then rushed back inside the dinner to wash out her mouth. Some more slop ought to do the trick!
Meanwhile, the two aliens wandered over towards Ataru.
"Hey, we did what you asked," the woman said. "Challenged her to a race like you wanted, let you win and made it look convincing. You got the goods?"
To which Ataru simply smiled and produced some pictures of Lum flying through the air which he kept for... reasons.
"Woah, man! Dis be the high quality shit! You know the street value of pictures like those?"
"Not really," Ataru shrugged. It didn't make much sense to him to be honest. Lum was always wearing that same bikini, so what was the big deal? "But if it's what you want, who am I to judge?"
- Continue with Benten
- Sakura continues struggling between heart and genitals.
- Lum and Shinobu finally leave the UFO with their Atarus.
- Oyuki arrives on Earth
- Ran heads over to the Moroboshi residence to inform her future in-laws about her wedding plans.
- Something else
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