Story: FGI Akane

It didn't take long for her to find the idiot leaning against a wall and looking thoughtful. Now, she said 'looking' because Ukyo was pretty sure there wasn't a thought running through that dumb, insensitive, frustratingly handsome to some lovely young inspectors head of his. "Hey, Ranchan!" Ukyo said, waving to him.

"Hey Uchan," Ranma said back. Scintillating conversationalist, as ever. No way Akane would even be giving this guy a second look if it wasn’t for her dad’s arrangement. "What's up?"

"Was kind of wondering if you might do me a favour," Ukyo said, beaming at him. "Well, it's as much for your benefit as it is for mine. See, I got this other friend who is kind of down. Much as we have fun together, don't think I'm the right guy to sort stuff out for them."

“Since you ain’t a guy I can see how that’d be a problem.” Ranma said, and Ukyo resisted the urge to bean him upside the head. She was manlier than he was in the ways that counted! She had measured it out!

“I didn’t mean literally ‘guy’ jackass, actually I want it to be a girl.”

"Oh." Ranma nodded. "Oh! I gotcha! Right, I think I know who you mean, now!"

He did? Crap, that would make things more difficult -

"I'm in. All I gotta do is hang out and chill for an evening in girl form, right?"

... Huh? That was - what? Wow, that was simple. She didn't even -have to play to his inflated ego to get him to play along!

"Hi Ukyo. Hello Ranma."

And here enters the love of her life. The girl of Ukyo's dreams, the most desirable flower in a lush garden. The girl who had helped Ukyo get over her confused sexuality and channel her frustration over Ranma into a more productive direction. The best Federal Genital Inspector Ukyo had ever met. Never mind that she was the only one Ukyo had met. There she was! Akane Tendo, light of her life.

“Oh hey Akane.” Ranma said to her. “Me and Ukyo were just talking, and she suggested that I need to spend time with a friend of hers.” No! Why did this idiot have to tell her about it! "So, wanna hang out later?"

<b><i>Ehhhhhhhhh?!</i></b> This idiot thought she had meant Akane instead of Ryoga?! How stupid could he possibly be?!

“I mean, uh, we already hang out a lot Ranma.” Akane looked a little uncomfortable about it. Good! Ranma needed to know she did not want him. "We don't want people getting the wrong idea and thinking we're dating, right?"

Good! Awesome!

"Oh, Uchan had a really good idea about that. If I'm a girl at the time, people wouldn't get the wrong idea."

Noooooo! All of her plans had been undone by Ranma Saotome's stupidity! Why did it feel like this would be the running them of her life?!

“As a girl?” Akane said, and Ukyo didn’t see the images of Ranma dressed up boyishly as a cute girl in her mind. Nor did she see Akane imagine what Ranma now had in <b>her</b> pants. “I… suppose if we’re both girls it might be fine.”

This couldn't possibly get any worse! Her plan to make it seem like Ranma was cheating on Akane with a boy had backfired about as badly as it could possibly have -

"Oh, that reminds me. I can't wait to see the cute girl you were hoping to set up with Ryoga."

Aaaaaaargh!

<hr>

Okay then. Okay! So she hadn't dressed up like a girl in years. She hadn't put on makeup before. Ever. But that was okay! Uchans was doing really well, so she could afford things like a flowery dress, makeup and books that taught how to put on makeup. All she had to do was put up with one date with the guy, then she could forget this plan and think up another way to beat Ranma.

"Tee hee!" she tittered, pushing her index fingers into her cheeks. "Ugh! How do girls do this? Then again, most girls don't have to deal with this thing swinging between my legs..." She’d only had it a short time but Ukyo didn’t know how she ever lived without this penis. Another thing to thank Akane for.

No point putting it off any longer. Maybe she'd be lucky and Ryoga Hibiki wouldn't even turn up? Yeah, that boy being someplace on time was pretty much impossible.

"Where the hell am I now?"

Honestly she was kind of expecting that at this point. Guh! Ukyo leaned outside and saw him strolling off down the street with that huge backpack of his, holding the letter to his chest that she'd sent off with the intention of having him date Ranma. Deep breath. Deep breath!

"Oh, this cute girl! She writes so beautifully!" Ryoga sighed. "I can't wait to meet her."

Deep breath. Deep breath. Ukyo stomped out the front of her restaurant. Now, obviously having this date at her place would defeat the point of putting on this disguise in the first place. So! She followed him a little down the street, waited until he turned the corner and then -

"Yoohoo! Cutie-pie!" she called out and immediately felt like she'd lost half of her intelligence stat, right there and then. "Ryoga honey! It's me, your date for the evening! Uk- Umi! I'm Umi, nice to meetcha! Teehee?"

Yikes that 'teehee' still sounded forced! There was no way he was going to buy that!

"Umi!" he said, gripping her hands and staring into her eyes. "It is so nice to finally meet you! Your love letter moved me to tears!"

He actually believed every word. This guy was an even bigger idiot than Ranma! Just one night. Only one date, and that would be it. Alright. So. She could use this as a chance to scope out the competition as well. Yeah, that was pretty good.

"Let's go into this place," she said, hauling his unresisting dumb body into the nearest dumb restaurant. "I hear it has a good reputation for couples!"

"Aha! Wow! Such a cute restaurant!" Ryoga gushed. Cute? He thought this was cute? Guh! It was cloying and sickening, so artificial. Of course it would be a guy's idea of a romantic date!

"Honestly Ranma, you're really packing away those parfaits."

Before she knew what she was doing Ukyo had her hands on Ryoga's ears. Crap. Crap, crap, crap! What god had she pissed off recently that was seeing fit to punishing her like this?!

"U-Umi..." Ryoga sighed. He put his hands around her waist and guided her over to a table while she struggled to keep his big dumb head from turning around to see Ranma and Akane sitting at that table over there. "You're as passionate as you are cute."

That should be a compliment but if his idea of cute was this restaurant then she'd rather be uncute, thanks. To her mind cute was... kind of like over there on the table where Ranma was letting Akane have a taste of her parfait. Ah! Angelic! Divine! She couldn't help but sigh.

"I know, Umi! I feel it as well!" Ryoga said. He grabbed her hands and brought her crashing back down to reality. Largely because he was very, very strong and she was in quite a lot of pain right now. "THere's a special connection between us. I've never felt like this before!"

"Th-That's nice!" Ukyo said. "R-Ryoga, a little less tight please?"

"Oh, sorry."

"Hey, Akane... Check out the girl Ukyo set Ryoga up with."

"Huh. Not bad, she's really pretty."

And now it felt like she was melting from the compliment! Oh, but she'd grabbed Ryoga's head again when the two of them were speaking. She'd have to distract him the only way she could bear to: Idle conversation!

"So Ryoga, tell me about your school," Ukyo said. Okay, that should break the ice. Keep him talking and he wouldn't notice them talking.

"School?" Ryoga asked. His features darkened. A storm cloud seemed to brew over his head. "The last time I was at school, Ranma Saotome humiliated me at every turn! He'd steal the rare prime deluxe sandwich away without fail, every time! Then he'd mock me and taunt me at the end of school, until I was all the way back home again before I knew it!"

Sounded like the idiot was trying to help this idiot not get lost on his way back to his house. Just how bad was this guy’s sense of direction?

"Huh, it looks like she said something to upset him."

"Oh dear. Maybe Ukyo wasn't the right person to help set Ryoga up with someone?"

“So, uh, Ryoga, what kind of hobbies do you have?” She needed to get him away from the topic of Ranma. That dark cloud over his head was looking pretty threatening, and besides which she was letting Akane down!

"Hobbies?" Ryoga asked. His dark cloud grew yet darker still. Any moment now it felt like it might rain indoors. "My hobbies are... thinking of ways to finally defeat Ranma Saotome once and for all!"

Guys were supposed to have one track minds, but this wasn't the track that she thought that he'd be on! Let's see, there had to be something else. A safe topic! Ah, for a lost boy like him, this one had to be safe!

"Been anywhere interesting lately?"

"Ever hear of Jusenkyo?"

Once again, Ukyo began to scream internally.

<hr>

This was nice. No really, this was quite a nice experience. It made for a fun break from the turmoil that her life had currently become. Hanging out with Ranma, girl form, was like a breath of fresh air. Ranma was especially cute because she was still wearing her regular male clothing and acting like a guy. No stress, no romantic entanglements, no goddamned quotas. She’d been having some headaches and cramps lately to boot, so something relaxing like this was just what she needed.

"Hey, Akane! Look how many spoons I can balance off the end of my nose!"

It didn't hurt that Ranma was a goofball when pride wasn't an issue. Yeah... If she had to make a choice right now between Ranma and Ukyo then she'd have a hell of a tough time of it. They both had different qualities that she found appealing. She liked hanging out with both of them. And they both made her feel... Something nice when she was with them.

Well. She shouldn't be thinking about this kind of thing tonight. Because they were hanging out. As friends. Not... fiancees or lovers or anything like that. Just friends.

Then she heard a certain beeping noise and her heart sank. She checked her quota and sure enough, there it was. Two girls, one guy. Wow, that was a lot more reasonable than the past few had been. Still... better if it was people that she knew.

"Is it work?" Ranma asked. She peered over. "Oh, great. You want me to turn into a boy to satisfy that one guy thing?"

"No, that won't be necessary," Akane said. She held up her badge. "This is an official inspection! Please go about your business as normal." Then she took her hand and slid it into the top of Ranma's trousers, down into her boxer shorts and - It was warm. Ranma's penis was warm, and hardening under Akane's touch. "I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get away with that" she said while casually jerking her off under the pretense of an inspection.

On a whim she moved in closer to kiss Ranma on the lips. Warm. Soft. Pleasant, intoxicating. She probably shouldn't have done that but for some reason she was feeling really horny tonight.

"I'd say this is functioning properly," she whispered. "However... I think tonight we should give it a bit more of a work out. Meet me at the dojo, midnight tonight. That's an official order. Any questions?"

"No ma'am."

Alright then. Next up, Ryoga and his date. This was the real reason she had denied Ranma the chance to receive an inspection in boy form: So that she could work some of her magic on these two. That Ryoga, she could not help but feel bad for him. He was so nice, if a little overly emotional. He really and truly did deserve some measure of happiness, and Akane was determined to give it to him.

"Ryoga, inspection time."

"Ak-Akane?!" the boy squeaked out. He glanced nervously at his date. "It's not what it -"

"Relax, I'm here on business," she said, flashing her badge in his face. "Pardon me miss, I won't be long."

“A-ah O-OK Ma’am…” Ryoga’s date looked a bit flustered, well Akane could understand that. Maybe she should let her get a good look at what she might be getting? A little presumptuous but as a basic survival strategy Akane had long since stopped thinking to hard about the issue of exposed genitalia. She crooked her finger. The girl hesitated, so Akane raised her eyebrow and tapped her badge. That seemed to get the message across.

"Look at this," she instructed. "This is what you can have if you maintain a long term relationship."

The girl gulped nervously while Akane - well, it was interesting really. She was very business like with his dick, while Ranma's had been much more intimately treated. It was like she was presenting Ryoga's dick the same way a used car salesman presents a car they'd like to shift.

She stroked it a few times before putting it in her mouth and sucking, just in time for Ryoga to shout and let it out. Akane rolled her eyes at how quickly he came, but frankly this dick wasn't for her.

"You see this bulging head?" she said. "When this hits the deepest part of you, it will feel amazing. I guarantee it. You'll never climax so hard in your entire life."

"R-Right," the girl gulped again.

“And I mean it, Ryoga when you put that tip into a girl it’ll happen.” She pressed a ticket into his hands, and Ryoga looked like he was about to die. "You will ride her until dawn, and you will both love every minute of it."

Huh. She'd have thought they'd both be happier about that? Little did she know at the time, but both of them were absolutely smitten with her. Ranma, for her part, returned her questioning glance with an equally confused shrug.

"Now, as for you," Akane said. "Sit down and let me see what you've got going on."

"Eh...?" the girl mumbled. "Wait, maybe not - " A badge to the face shut her up sharpish. "Oh hell! W-wait a minute, I can explain!"

Akane wasn't listening. She was a girl on a mission. A mission that involved putting her head under this dress and then -

...

"I know this penis. I know this penis very - Ukyo?!"

Ukyo has to explain that no, she’s not cheating on Akane without actually saying they’re in a relationship.

1. Later, Ryoga and Ukyo find a way to satisfy the tickets that they were given
2. Akane has a lot of frustration to take out, and Ranma's getting it in the middle of the night.
3. The date becomes a double date. Awkward!
4. Meanwhile, a third couple is showing up on a date, Kodachi and Nodoka!
5. Something else