Story: Neon Genesis Evangelion Ouroboros

There's nothing quite like an armed team of soldiers showing up out of the blue being led by an old friend to dampen the mood in a chaotic situation. As if this situation wasn't confusing enough already, here comes Ritsuko in her wetsuit to muddy things up even worse.

"Take them to quarantine," Ritsuko said. She looked between the two Misatos and winced. It was like she was thinking 'oh lord above I have enough trouble with one of you.' Which was a bit cheeky. "Keep them together for the time being. If any more of them show up, throw them in as well."

The soldiers, who were actually more like a private security force moved as one. Their leader, a acquaintance of Misato gave the captain slash major an apologetic look. As if to say ‘sorry, orders are orders’. Well, the two Misato’s were quite capable of showing their unhappiness.

“What the hell Ritsuko, you cannot just stick us all into quarantine. What if an Angel attacks? I-is this about that time I ate the last snack during a late workday? I swear, I didn’t know you had saved it.” The Misato from the present said.

“Hey, I know I called you a mad scientist earlier, but it wasn’t meant as an insult.. You won’t start poking us with needles or anything, right?” The Misato from the future said, probably imagining all sorts of things after she had seen the Reiquarium.

Ritsuko held her hand up. "I'll listen to your complaints later on, but for now it's best that we try to contain this until we can figure out what the hell is going on around here."

Out of the corner of her eye present day Misato noticed that Rei was kind of glowing a little bit. This was a fact she was going to ignore for the time being because she didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing and this other her that seemed to be from the future was slowly inching away from the now very curvy albino.

A suddenly curvy albino who stopped glowing when future Shinji grabbed hold of her hand. Oh, now that was simply adorable. That shy boy act had landed him both Asuka and Rei! He must have more going for him than Misato first thought...

Meanwhile, future Shinji was kind of weirded out by a super hot version of Asuka hanging all over him demanding head pats while Rei was <i>glowing like a lightbulb</i>. Also kind of weird for him was the way that his past self was checking out both of his girls. As if somehow Asuka and Rei were both his.

And in turn the past version of Shinji was only wondering how exactly he was going to score with both of these absolute babes, and thinking that maybe coming here wasn't such a bad thing after all. Poor, not yet traumatised Shinji. Too focused on the waifus to see the horror barrelling down the highway towards him.

Though he was really kind of wondering what the heck was about the sudden increased curviness of the redhead. Was this normal for Tokyo-3 or something?

<hr>

Feel pity for poor Kaji. It was difficult enough to deal with a hormonal teenage genius that had decided that you were the perfect target for her amateurish seduction attempts. Now said girl was also going crazy over seeing what looked like a copy of her Evangelion beating the ever living crap out of the third Angel before eating it like it were chicken chop suey.

“I am telling you, we need the fastest flight possible! These guys at Japan’s NERV base copied my Eva! I cannot just stay here and wait, get to it already!”

What wasn't helping was that she had found a broom and was using it to emphasise her point. On top of his head.

"Kaji! Plane!" Whap, whap, whap! "I have to get there! I have to get there now!" Whap, whap!

Truly, being a sort of parent figure was never easy.

<hr>

There were several duties that Ritsuko had to take up in her time here, and they hadn't even really gotten down to the whole 'fighting the Angels' bit of their plan. Even though the Third Angel had attacked not one hour ago. And promptly wound up 'eaten' by Unit 02.

Oh, but Ritsuko had a headache from this and she hadn't even got to the part she was dreading the most.

"I hate time travel," she said aloud, as if warning the very universe itself. "I really, really do not like time travel."

“For what it is worth, this wasn’t originally planned. I wanted to make it so no one except Shinji knows anything, but I overestimated my fine control.” Rei spoke, her voice reverberating throughout the room even as her entire body glowed in a subdued but impossible to overlook light. Though with the way her eyes were glazed over, it was obvious that it wasn’t <i>this</i> Rei speaking.

Which was concerning in and of itself even if you stripped all the context around it away.

"So what was the plan?" Ritsuko asked. It was best to play it cool. Play it safe. With someone who was casually fucking glowing and implied they could warp reality it was best to at least be polite even if you were screaming internally all the while. "Feed information about the future into our present day Shinji Ikari?" Rei nodded. "To what end?"

"His happiness."

That would explain the larger bosom on Pilot Sohryu and this Rei.

"Well, I can't say that meeting his own future self is going to help much," Ritsuko said. "If anything that is likely to increase his stress levels quite a -"

For a second there Rei vanished. Only a second. Then she was right back where she was. Blink and you miss it kind of deal, but Ritsuko hadn't been blinking.

“Should I be worried?” She asked, trying to remember if she had any aspirin in her office. For a moment she considered just shooting this Rei and getting a new dummy plug as replacement, but that would probably backfire. Not to mention the Commander had an unhealthy obsession with the girl and likely wouldn’t allow her death unless it was unavoidable.

<hr>

There were so many questions present day Shinji wanted to ask himself. His other self. How had he wound up in that situation? What was going on around here? What was this base even for? Who was that blue haired girl? Who was that red haired girl?

"Praise me! Praise me!"

But most important of all was the question of how did he end up with such a hot and affectionate girlfriend! Bear in mind that this is Shinji from before he had ever been in Unit 01. He'd not even seen the thing yet. None of the psychological trauma he would gain from his experiences fighting Angels had been dumped on him yet, and so his mind went to the easy places where a young boy's mind is going to tend to wander.

Plus, after being abandoned by his father years ago, there was something even more appealing to getting such an overly affectionate girlfriend than would be for most boys his age. The thought of a girl being all over him like, of adoring him in such a manner... However did he get to that point and could he accelerate the process?

"So... any advice?" he asked himself. Quietly, so neither of the Misato’s could. The two of them were busy exchanging notes, so far as he could tell. The other him looked over, seeming confused. "Uh, you know. With girls?"

The future Shinji opened his mouth to answer -then vanished. His present version blinked in confusion, before rubbing his eyes and looking around. Nope, still gone and.. actually that red haired girl had also vanished. He knew that because she had only split off from his future self reluctantly and not stepped more than a few feet away at any time.

Well that plus the fact that she wasn’t shouting at his sudden disappearance. Somehow he felt like she was the type to be loud if something bad happened.

"Welcome! ❤"

"Um... Are you all that girl's sisters?" Shinji asked. He counted about five girls. All identical. They looked exactly like that blue haired girl who had been glowing before. One key difference though, they were all wearing bunny girl outfits. "H-Hi girls. So how did I -"

"How the hell did I get here?! You, boy! What's your name?"

Shinji slowly turned around and found himself staring at a very angry looking redhead, who was also in a bunny girl suit. Different colour from the other girls though. They were white, this girl had a red suit. She was also rather lacking when it came to curves compared to the sixtuplets that had presumably organized this.

Actually, this girl looked kind of like his future self’s girlfriend.. Was this the version from the present? Oh.. that was probably not the best first impression he could have made.

"This is Shinji," one of the blue haired girls said. "And we're Rei! We have food!"

Shinji's stomach growled and on turning around he did indeed see a large platter of very delicious looking food - all vegetable meals - spread out for him. Huh. That... hadn't been there a minute ago.

"Pervert," the redhead said. "I bet this is somehow your doing, isn't it?"

Oh boy. What a first impression to make! He had a long way to go before he was a playboy like his older self...

<hr>

"Praise me."

Of all the things to happen today, this was the last thing he'd been expecting.

"Praise me."

He'd basically started off today by jerking it to this girl's naked chest while she lay comatose in a hospital bed.

"Praise me."

And now. Here they were. In a room with romantic lighting, with a very unfamiliar ceiling. Lying on a heart shaped bed. Asuka’s clothes had been replaced with red lingerie that underlined her newly enhanced bust and curves quite effectively. Oh, also he was kind of wearing nothing but his underwear too.

Over the course of the last several months - actually, come to think it must have been about a year by now - Shinji had faced unimaginable horrors the likes of which would break even the hardest of soldier.

"Praise me already, dummy!"

And yet... and yet this was the one thing that was making him completely freeze. He patted Asuka on the head almost as a reflex. She nuzzled into him, and it kind of felt the same way.

"You're really pretty," he offered. Lame! It sounded lame and he knew it.

“Hehehehe..” It didn’t seem to bother Asuka, because she was giggling and blushing while twirling a strand of her hair with one finger. “Good boy, here is your reward.”

Ah, so it seemed that Asuka was taking the lead. At least she wasn't pinching his nose this time, though she was still being a bit more forceful than he -

Actually... now that he wasn't suffocating mid-smooch this whole kissing thing wasn't too bad. You know, this was actually pretty nice. It was new, but it wasn't nearly as stressful as he was kind of expecting. Shinji could easily go along with this a little while longer -

"We have food!" a chorus of Reis suddenly chanted. And the moment was gone.

The two Misatos are swapping notes to figure out what's going on.

Ritsuko continues her interrogation of Rei.

Present Shinji and Asuka get off to a great start.

An Angel notices that something weird is going on with the space-time continuum and decides to investigate.

Something else