Friday, 27 January 2017

Story: Kiss-O-Matic


It's really quite striking how alike they were. Oblivious, accident prone, well meaning, easily mistaken for being a pervert, even their body language had a lot of peculiar similarities. Keitaro Urashima and Mutsumi Otohime, walking down the street. You could easily mistake them for boyfriend and girlfriend. In fact if pressed on that issue Mutsumi would say that of course they were: He was a boy and she was a girl, and they were close friends.

It's important to note there would be nothing manipulative or deceitful if she had said something like that. The simple truth is, that's simply the kind of woman Mutsumi was. A scatterbrain who wouldn't read between the lines and understand exactly what kind of relationship others would think the two of them had.

The fact that she did actually feel a rather overwhelming lust for Keitaro didn't even come into it.

"Thank you for helping out with the shopping," Keitaro said, blind to Mutsumi's roaming eyes. One might think that she was checking out his body, or his cute face. Nope. What really caught her attention was the bags he was carrying. In his hands, on his back, strapped to his front and even one balancing on his head. A strange thing to turn a woman on, but Mutsumi's mind really was not like most other women. That strength, that balance... "Fancy running into you like that out of nowhere! It must be fate."

"Yes," Mutsumi agreed. "It must have been."

Therein lay the paradox to the situation. Going purely by looks Mutsumi was well outside of Keitaro's league. She was pretty, curvaceous, presented a pleasant and alluring aura that would easily ensnare any non-oblivious straight man. He was, well, kind of dorky looking.

Yet there it was. She was the one checking him out, while he tried to avoid looking at her like that. It was so adorable. She really ought to make a play, otherwise she would never catch that fish. Yet that was the next layer down: Mutsumi was too nice to make such a play. And why was that? Naru Narusegawa. Her other bestie.

To put it in simple terms: Mutsumi wanted Keitaro super hard. She just so happened to ship Keitaro/Naru even harder.

She felt no regret over this. If the two of them would be happy together, that was all that she needed. Yet it did nothing to sooth her fantasies when alone late at night. You can't help what you want.

"So? What are you up to for the rest of today?" Mitsumi asked. "After you've put all that food away, that is."

"Ah, well, the fun times never end at Hinata House," Keitaro chuckled. "First up, study time with Naru. Then I promised Motoko I'd help her train. After that Shinobu should have finished dinner, and Su wanted to show me the new thing she's been working on."

"Those girls sound like quite the handful," Mutsumi said, as usual failing to notice the undertones of what she was saying.

"They are," Keitaro concurred, beaming back at her. Mutsumi suddenly felt quite weak at the knees. "I can't wait!"

So cool! Mutsumi followed him inside the dorm unable even to look at him. Ooh! She needed to act quickly. Set him up with Naru before she did something awful and selfish. She took no notice of how strangely quiet it was in the usually active dorm, instead simply politely saying, "Excuse me, I'll go look for Naru. It's been a while since we've caught up, and... Well... You know how it is."

It was about twenty steps to the door and somehow Mutsumi managed to trip over her feet three whole times before she left. Oh, dear. Oh, dear! She'd only recently worked out what was causing her bouts of clumsiness. Her body was unconsciously trying to get her closer to Keitaro, or prevent her from leaving his presence. It was quite shameful for her to behave this way, but now that she'd noticed it the problem was only getting worse. She'd barely been able to restrain herself from tripping into him on the way home, and then only because of how much he was carrying.

"Um... Which was Naru's room again?" she asked, tapping her lips in deep thought. "And what should I say to her to convince her to finally make her move...?"

"Make her move?" said a teasing voice. Mutsumi turned around and found herself staring at Mitsune, a newer friend of Naru's, stumbling towards her in a slightly inebriated gait. Mutsumi tilted her head in interest: What had happened to her lips? They looked all swollen, and she kept running her tongue along them like a ravenous woman staring at a scrumptious dessert.

Which was silly, of course, as Kitsune was looking directly at Mutsumi. There was nothing about her that this woman would find delicious, right?

"So you're finally trying to set the ships sailing?" Kitsune asked playfully. "About time. Watching your little 'will they, won't they' dance was amusing for a while. Now it's getting tiresome."

Ooh, this woman! Why, Mutsumi was coming this close to calling her a meanie and sticking out her tongue. Harsh condemnation indeed!

"Actually, if you're serious about this, maybe I can help...?" Kitsune offered. "It's obvious you don't have the first clue about how to set those two up. Surely you must know that if you confront Naru directly, she'll deny any feelings she has for him. Right?"

That... Was true. Oh, dear. That poor girl had a bad case of tsundere fever.

"Ara... Do you have any suggestions?" Mutsumi asked.

"Of course," Kitsune offered. "All you have to do is make her super jealous. Here's how."

<hr>
It wasn't usual for Keitaro to put away the shopping himself, but it seemed as though the other residents were preoccupied elsewhere. This was fine by him, as it gave him some time to really think things through.

He liked Mutsumi. As a friend! She was fun to hang out with, they shared a lot of common interests. Sometimes he even forgot she was, well, a <i>she</i> because of how comfortable he felt in her presence.

Then his arm would brush against boob, and he'd suddenly become keenly aware that she was drop dead gorgeous. He tried to ignore it. Really, he did. He still wasn't sure about who his promise girl was, but Mutsumi was a promising candidate, but at the same time he was still sorting through his feelings for Naru, but then again Naru couldn't possibly be his promised girl because she was too young, but then again -

Needless to say but his hormones were very, very confused right about now.

"Shinobu, is that you in the kitchen?" he heard a voice call out. Ah, that was Motoko out in the hall. Her voice sounded a little muffled, but that was definitely her.

"No, it's just me!" Keitaro answered back. He heard the swordfighter shuffle into the room, robe trailing across the floor while his back was turned. He was putting away a bag of flour, wondering what that strange sucking sound was. "Mutsumi is paying us a visit. Did anything else happen while I was gone?"

"Nothing much," Motoko answered, breathily. Ah, she must have just finished a training session. "Mutsumi, you say? Yes... That's delightful."

"Oh?" Keitaro wondered. "I didn't realise you got on so well with... Her...?"

That was, in case you could not tell, the moment where he had turned around. And saw Motoko, standing there with her robes hanging off her shoulders, hugging a girl close while that girl nuzzled Motoko's neck. The usually serious and anti-pervert swordswoman's lips were definitely bigger than normal, and she was fixing him with this really strange look that completely froze the manager in place.

"We don't," Motoko breathily answered, licking her lips and then smacking them in a kissing gesture. "But we can learn very quickly."


  1. Mutsumi goes up to Naru's room and follows Kitsune's advice, little realising it's a setup.
  2. Keitaro is trapped by Motoko and Kanako.
  3. Keitaro is rescued by Naru, who has designs on him.
  4. Su is tinkering with the kiss-o-matic based on the results so far.
  5. Something else

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