Story: Don't Press the Button 1/2

Akane Tendo felt just a mite strange. She knew these streets. She'd grown up walking these streets. Technically speaking she'd gone around these streets on a jog this morning, although to her it was five years ago. These streets were as much a part of her home as her own bedroom. She was happy here. She was safe here.

She was also wearing practically nothing. People were giving her looks as they passed her by on the street, and why shouldn't they? Those people were fully clothed. She was not. And yet -

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People were looking at her. Goggling. Eyes bulging out of their sockets in abject disbelief. Well, two could play at that game! Her expression was quite a genuine bit of shock, thank you very much!

The houses looked like they were mostly made of wood, yet they also gleamed in exactly the manner that wood did not. The streets were cobblestone, yet also strangely uniform and even. There were signposts up and about, and the really strange things about them were that Akane could tell they weren't in Japanese, and yet she had an intrinsic understanding of what they were saying. None of this was what was particularly shocking her, however.

What was shocking her was the attire. Every woman. Every last one. Swimwear. Didn't exactly leave much to the imagination either. She'd seen one-piece suits with thongs, necklines that stopped being necklines and more became navel lines. Or perhaps a landing strip for the male gaze. She'd also seen figures that would make models keel over. Breasts as big as her head. Hips like - like lethal weapons ready to be fired at a moment's notice. Fit legs. Toned tummies. All on full display.

"What the hell is going on with fashion around here?" she asked, at first a little loudly. Then quite a bit quieter as the question was being asked.

"They are called battle bikinis," an unfamiliar yet charming male voice said right behind her. Akane whirled around into a battle position, and found herself staring up at a man that initially looked rather handsome, easy on the eyes, but on second glance reminded her of a certain bokken-wielding buffoon. Her stance became a little more tense. "Forgive me, madame. I did not mean to startle you. Miss...?"

"Tendo," Akane reluctantly answered. "Akane Tendo."

"Satrius," the man answered. "You are not from Lustrum, are you? How wonderfully exotic. If you would like to draw less attention, I could always..."

He made the mistake of reaching out to grope her, so Akane twisted his arm and tossed him overhead - Only for the sorcerer to land on his feet. Which was impossible. The way she was holding him, he should have planted square on his back!

"Ooh, I like the fire in your soul, Miss Tendo," Satrius remarked. Oh no, he really was just like Kuno! "Now, this is for your own good. I do have to insist -"

Something struck him in the back. A burst of energy that sent him flying off down the street and through a wall - which instantly repaired itself. Okay! This place was really, really weird! Akane turned around to look in the direction the blast had come from and got herself her daily dose of vitamin boob.

"Hi, I'm Tanulia!" said the voice above her.

"Hi, Tanulia, I'm Akane and your boobs are fantastic."

Huh? Had she - Had she said that out loud?

"I know," Tanulia said. "They tend to do that to people who haven't met Elven priestesses before. The intense arousal you're currently feeling will abide shortly." Oh. Is that what that was? "Come on. Let me get you inside. You need a primer on how this place works, otherwise you're going to come to a very bad end."

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Ranma hated to admit it, but Akane had a very nice end. He couldn't help it. The gentlemanly thing to do would be to not stare at her swaying rump, but it was as if a magic spell had been cast which made his gentlemanly side drift off to sleep.

"No sign of him yet," Akane suddenly said.

"Nope," Ukyo agreed. "Although maybe if all six eyes were looking for clues we might have seen something by now."

Right. Okay. Look somewhere else. Like at her stellar legs. Or that rocking pair of hips. Or her back. Or her shoulder blades. Or the back of her head. Or maybe if he looked at Ukyo's scowling face that would be better for his immediate health?

"So..." Ranma began. The two girls perked up. Akane even looked briefly over her shoulder at him. Ah, he hadn't meant to say that. It had just spilled out. Now he had to think of something to say. "I was wondering..." Don't ask about the bikini. Don't ask about her sexy body. And definitely don't make it sound like you've been checking her out this whole time, you'll never live that down! "Why is an uncute girl like you wearing such a sexy outfit? You'd normally hate walking around like that."

Perfect!

"Oh. Well, I did at first..." Akane began. Huh. She didn't even rise to his tease.

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"Akane, you can't keep wearing those clothes. It's not hygienic."

It was her second day of crashing at Tanulia's place. The elf priestess had a pretty small place to live, and Akane was currently sleeping on the floor. In the clothes she'd arrived in. She looked up at the busty elf towering over her and tapping her foot expectantly, and let her tell you that until you've been given an expectant look by a tall and busty elven priestess who was wearing a bright green bikini made entirely of leaves you have not been given an expectant look.

"Then find me something that I can wear in public," Akane protested. "I don't want to walk around in those skimpy little bikinis, it's so demeaning!"

"It also gives us huge boosts," Tanulia sighed, explaining the concept again as if Akane still didn't grasp it. She did. She got it. She understood. She just didn't like it. "Strength, speed, magical ability, stamina, intelligence, perception of our surroundings - Each battle bikini gives us a different kind of boost, and for some reason the most powerful boosts come from skimpier bikinis." She shrugged. "It's only natural, really. In a cutthroat world where every stat boost matters the most, almost anyone would go for the biggest advantage possible."

And that was the crux of the issue. Nobody sold decent swimwear anymore. Why would they? Who would use it? Her. That's who. A visitor to their filthy, perverted world, who just wanted to wear something that wasn't starting to reek a little. Was that so much to ask?

Suddenly something was dumped on top of her. Something soft and light. Akane picked it up. A one-piece pink bikini with frills all around the sides. She stared at it. Blinked a few times. "I found this," Tanulia told her. "Last night. Had to scour the city to find it."

Holding it up against her body Akane could see quite plainly that... This wasn't all too bad. She'd worn worse at the beach. Even the school's official swimwear was more revealing than this! Akane clutched it tightly like a lifeline.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Um... Could I have some privacy to change?"

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"Over time I just sort of got used to it," Akane said. Ukyo frowned at her and gave serious consideration to bopping the girl on the head with her battle spatula. Don't get used to that sort of thing, idiot! "When we started looking for a way to get me home, we kept on encountering stronger and stronger enemies. So I had to start wearing a variety of battle armour just to survive. It's hard to think of modesty when you're in a fight to the death."

"Well, you're not in a fight to the death right now," Ukyo said. "We can stop off at your place to get you changed into something more decent?"

Akane stopped. Ranma nearly bumped into her. Ukyo felt herself flaring up with jealousy. "I want to," Akane said. Ooh, girl! If you could only see the look Ranma was giving you right now! "I missed them so, so much... But... I can't change out of this yet."

"Wh-Why not?" Ranma nervously asked. That earned him a sharp elbow in the ribs. And don't give that confused puppy look, you know what you did!

"Because dealing with Satrius is going to be hard enough even with it," Akane said. An excuse! Ooh, Ukyo could tell that was an excuse! You just wanted to show off your new body to Ranma some more, didn't you? "We're going to need every edge we can keep to bring him down."

"He's that much of a threat?" Ukyo asked.

"Yes." Akane resumed walking forward. No more standing lapdances in the middle of the street. Good. Otherwise Ukyo's battle spatula was about to tan some thong-clad hides! Or rather, one specific thong-clad hide. "That man is a menace. Wherever he goes trouble follows. I can only imagine what he's doing at this very moment."

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So. This was quite the interesting paralysis powder that young maiden had used upon him. Quite the recipe. Couldn't move an inch. For something to bring low the mighty (and gorgeous) Satrius it must be quite the potent mixture! He simply must query that fair maid when she returned. His silver tongue would soon enough acquire the recipe for his own use, and then he would delight in bringing that maid onto his team. Her talents would be quite... Useful to him.

This is normally where he would laugh maniacally, but all his lungs were currently good for was a slow and simple breathing pattern. Regardless, mother nature seemed to sense the appropriate dramatic turn and let loose lightning for effect.

Why it aimed for Satrius and, more specifically, his genitals was anyone's guess.

1. Suddenly it starts to rain. Ranma is irate at her costume change. Ukyo gains an appreciation for it.
2. Ryoga somehow makes things worse for everyone.
3. Kodachi discovers her darling Ranma.
4. Happosai has sensed a disturbance in the perversion.
5. Something else