Stories: Yet More Ranma Falls In Another Spring Threads

Yes, I don't normally post story threads in the same post. In this case I kind of want to, though. They're both very different kinds of ideas, and I'd like some feedback on both of them before posting them to the addventure.

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Ranma 1/2: Spring of Drowned <i>What</i>?!
We start in a familiar place. A seemingly serene valley, with its floor littered with pools. Tall bamboo poles stick out of them or around them, giving this place an almost obstacle-course feel. Three people walk in. One a slightly overweight Chinese guide who tries his best, but doesn't quite have a complete grasp of Japanese. Or that the best time to warn people about the nature of Jusenkyo is a brief aside just before taking them into the valley proper.

I mean, doesn't that seem like a sensible precaution to anyone else? It really does make it seem as though he's actively trying to get people to take a dunking. Regardless, on this day he is showing around students of the Anything Goes School. A father and child. The father is an idiot. The child is a trifle impatient.

"Here is Jusenkyo!" he proudly proclaims. "Is dangerous training grounds, honoured customers. Be much, much careful not to -"

"Alright, Akane!" the father, Soun Tendo, proclaimed. "Let's begin our training! It is clear what we are supposed to do!"

"On it!" Akane answered. The two of them leaped to the top of a bamboo pole, each resting a single foot atop their perch. There simply was not room for anything else. "Balance training. Hmph! We came all the way out here for this?"

"Ah, sir and nice girl!" the guide yelled at the ground. "Careful not to fall in springs! Is dangerous!"

If the warning was heard then no indication was given. Akane hopped across the bamboo poles while her father wiped a proud tear away from his eye. His daughter had grown in leaps and bounds since this training trip had begun. They should have done this years ago.

"Kya!" Akane yelled, delivering a snap kick from which Soun had to lean back to dodge. He hopped to a nearby pole, holding back just a little so he could properly test her skill level. They parried a few blows from one another briefly. Excellent form. Superb strength. Her balance was definitely much improved.

So improved, in fact, that she swept up her leg for a particularly devastating-looking axe kick. Soun raised his hands to block it, and thought about how best to admonish her for leaving herself wide open like that -

Crrreaaaak.

Well, that wasn't an ominous sound at all. Oh. Akane's kick had been so intense it had split the bamboo directly beneath him. It's the same truth no matter who you are. No martial artist can fight an opponent while standing in quicksand. Without ground beneath you, no stance, no pose, no defense and certainly no attack could ever avail you.

He fell down into a spring, feeling tremendously proud of his youngest. Yes, definitely ready to take her training to the next level. He honestly thought the day might never come, but here it was! Thinking of a tactic like that... The true essence of Anything Goes!

As for Akane herself, she was feeling a little bit sheepish. She hadn't quite meant to do that, but at least it looked like her father would land in one of those springs. So, he wouldn't get hurt or anything. This training ground though - really nothing special. Any idiot could plant sturdy bamboo poles in the ground and use them for balance training.

"Excuse me, Mister Guide!" she called at the man panicking at the ground, staring into the pool. "I was wondering if there was something more to this training ground?"

"Oh no!" the guide answered. Ignoring her? Rude! "Sir fall into Spring of Drowned Goat! Now he cursed, turn into goat!"

Akane blinked. Huh. His Japanese was even worse than she - Was that a goat crawling out of the spring? The same one that her father had fallen into and very obviously didn't have nearly the space to hide both a goat and her father?

"Daddy?" she yelled, and then quite understandably lost her balance at the same time she lost her shit. "W-whoa!" she yelled. Oh, no. Now she got it. Now she understood completely! The guide had called that the Spring of Drowned Goat. That meant the other springs probably had their own names too. There was one beneath her. Almost anyone could do the maths, so to speak, and the final answer would be nothing else but "Nooo! I don't want to be curs-"

Splash.

When her head broke the surface of the water Akane sucked in air like a long-lost friend. Her body flumped against the spring's banks and she pulled herself up. Oh, goodness. She was soaked through. Would have to change out of her gi before she caught her death of cold, but -

"Is sir alright?" the guide asked, handing her a towel. Akane didn't pay him any attention. She was busy looking at her hands. Human hands. She pat her face in disbelief. It felt like her face. She snuck a peek into her gi. Those were her breasts, definitely.

"I'm still me? I didn't transform?" she asked, looking up at the guide. Who shook his head. Akane looked around. No sign of the goat, but there was a panda up there for some reason. Strange, how on earth did a panda get up -

"Sir fall in Spring of Drowned Akane," the guide explained. "Is almost tragic story of girl who fall in spring three months ago, get rescued by brave father, then fall in Spring of Drowned Man while trying to leave."

"Huh? What?" Spring of Drowned Akane? Did she hear that right? "Spring of Drowned... Me?"

"Ah?" the guide gasped. "You take memories of girl, and body too? Strange, strange thing. You is not Akane. You is Ranma Saotome."

Ranma Saotome... Hearing the name was like an epiphany. Yes. Ranma Saotome. That was her name. She remembered. Her father was the dumbass panda up there! Oh, that bald headed fool! She remembered the harsh training. Stealing food. Attending a boy's school. The cat-fist.

People are their memories. Really, when you get right down to it that's what we are. Our experiences in the past guide the person we are today. Things we remember, things we forget can still influence that which we recall. Perhaps that is why Ranma had that initial shock, believing he really was Akane Tendo when his brain was set to almost the same exact state of being it had been in at the instant she was cursed. Until he had heard his own name and set those neurons firing, the only experiences his freshly female brain could draw upon were the girl whose body he had been cursed to wear.

But his name. Where magic is concerned a person's name is a sacred thing. Maybe that was why it helped him recall his true identity? Maybe not. All that mattered in the end was this: His own real memories all flooded into her mind and left the personality of Akane Tendo -

"Pop, you got some shit to answer for!"

Swept aside as though it were lost at sea.

Well. This development surely won't have any ramifications down the line whatsoever.

1. While in Akane's form, Ranma has a hard time acting like himself.
2. He soon forgets Akane's memories.
3. He fully recalls Akane's memories.
4. Whenever he becomes Akane, Ranma initially believes he is her until something reminds him of who he really is.
5. The curse works some other way.

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Ranma 1/2: Another Spring of Drowned <i>What?</i>

"I fell in the Spring of Drowned what?"

This had not been a good day for pigtailed martial artists. It wasn't especially looking like it would be a good day for bald, glasses-wearing idiots who happened to be fathers of pigtailed martial artists either. Ranma was looking the guide directly in the eyes and doing his level best to stare a hole right through him. Depending on how this particular conversation continued it might not be a good day for the guide either.

"Honoured guest fall in Spring of Drowned Hot Piece of Ass."

So, there Ranma was, staring at the guide and making circular gestures with her hands. It was as though she was both expressing the profound levels of confusion and bewilderment she was feeling, while also digging deeper into that well in a desperate attempt to find the bottom.

It did not, dear reader, appear to have a bottom, limit, or boundary.

"What?!" Ranma yelled. The gesticulations increased in intensity. "I fell in the Spring of Hot Piece of what?!"

"Ass," the guide repeated, nodding sagely. "Is too tragic story of young hot piece of ass who fall into spring while on holiday and drown. Too too sad."

Ranma rubbed her forehead in frustration. Ooh, what a headache that was coming on. "Okay. Right. First of all, that's kinda sexist as shit. Secondly, why not the Spring of Drowned Girl, or Drowned Nympho, or Drowned Babe or something like that?"

The guide rocked on his feet and looked up at the sky. He'd been doing that since Ranma got out of the spring. This was a life preservation technique, you understand: If he started staring, he might not stop, and then it might be the last thing he ever did.

"Well, to start with... Is porn thread satirising common sexist trope for series." Both guide and Ranma turned to face in the same direction, where one might have constructed a wall had one so desired. A wall with the number four prominently painted on it.

"Ahem, also! Spring of Drowned Girl over there on west bank." The guide gestured off in that direction. "Spring of Drowned Babe off to north. Spring of Drowned Nymphomaniac - too, too popular spring for randy male guests to take water away - a little south of Spring of Drowned Girl, you can see little marker make it easy for guest to find. Also, Spring of Drowned Succubus, off to east."

"I didn't ask about the Drowned Succubus."

"I is knowing. Is fun spring though!"

Right. Ranma gritted her teeth. So that was settled. Looks like it would be a bad day for the guide as well.

"So, what sets this spring out from the others?" Ranma asked. "Do I get some kinda weird sex-based power?"

"Being hot as that is sex based power already," the guide answered.

Not! Helping! Nor was it answering the question! Ranma impatiently glowered at him and began tapping her foot. This was kind of a big deal for him. Ranma was the type of boy who never paid attention to this sex crap. It was just a distraction. Sure, if he found a chick he wanted to settle down with, great! Screw away. But he <i>wasn't</i> ready to settle down yet. Not until he finished his training! Last thing he needed was to be overwhelmed by some ridiculous urges at this crucial time.

"Is strange curse," the guide admitted. "You too too hot in this form. But just hot. Not to point it completely subvert person will, make them want to bang against all reason."

Okay, that was a relief. "Am I gonna start sleeping around?"

"Only if want to," the guide replied. "Although ninety percent of victims curse by that pool start have lot of sex within week of curse."

"How the hell do you even know that?"

"We have survey, send to curse victims. It too too useful, help deliver good customer service!"

"You could have good customer service by putting up a sign warning people!"

The guide's face lit up, and he pounded a hand into his open fist. Oh, my god. He really hadn't thought of that. No, wait. That's not the part he should be freaking out over: Ninety percent of victims of this curse start having a lot of sex within a week of being inflicted with this curse. A week! "Nuh uh! Not happening to me!" Ranma insisted. "I can fight it. Whatever urges or feelings this body tries to make me have, it won't work! I won't succumb to any temptation no matter how -"

And then he turned around. There was a woman standing in front of him, wearing an ill-fitting gi. Her hair was tied up in a cute little pigtail, her face was soft, inviting, innocent yet sultry. What was more, even though she was wearing such thoroughly unflattering clothes it was easy to see that beneath them was a Body. The capital "B" was quite deliberate. You couldn't fairly compare it to an hourglass figure. It was more fair to say that hourglasses had figures like this woman. She just sort of oozed sex appeal just by standing there, doing nothing but staring, breathing and smoothing her hands down her sides.

"Honoured guest, that is own reflection in full-body mirror you is drooling over..." the guide coughed politely.

"Yeah, duh! Kind of hard to miss!"  Ranma nodded, feeling rather breathless all of a sudden. "So, yes. Spring of Drowned Hot Piece of Ass. That makes sense."

And it really said something when her own reflection was able to get that kind of reaction. As a boy, Ranma had always avoided those girly magazines the other guys tried to keep hidden from the teachers. Not his speed, thanks. Sure, he could appreciate a cutie, but that didn't mean he would go out of his way for a peek. But this? Good lord.

"That one effect of curse," the guide said. "No matter person looking, they think you as Hot Piece of Ass. They not think it strange. They just accept it, maybe stare, maybe propose, maybe try sneak grope. Other effect higher sexual stimulation. Enjoy intimate contact much, much more than usual in this body. But you still is same orientation. If not like men touch before, no like men touch now."

Hallelujah! That was a buoy of good news in a sea of shit! At this point Ranma would grab hold of that thin lifeline with both hands and hang on for dear life.

"Also, you can turn back normal with hot water. Get turned back into this with splash of cold."

Ah. Now then. Ranma took a deep breath upon hearing that. The guide offered a kettle with warm, but not boiling water and she tipped it over her head. Feeling tremendous relief at becoming a guy again in the process. Oof! Definitely want to keep some hot water around. It was a lot to take in. A curse like this could easily change his life. Being thought of as a hot piece of ass everywhere he - or in that form, she - went. It was like a nightmare scenario for one as masculine and macho as he. A truly terrible curse designed by a sadist to test his soul.

But he was made of sterner stuff! Ranma would persevere! He would adjust. He would find a cure for this curse come hell or cold water. Nothing could stop him. Nothing could slow him down. First thing's first -

"Why didn't you tell me I could turn back to normal with a bit of heated water? Hm?" Ranma asked the guide, eye twitching in a rather extremely unhealthy manner. "Don't you dare say I didn't ask!"

"Well," the guide began, smiling obliviously, "was fun watching you react to reflection. You no can blame? Ah- Ah! Sir! Is martial artist code not attack defenseless!"

So, yes. Yes, it was indeed a bad day all around, for all three of them. Now, the guide was right. Ranma would never knowingly attack a defenseless person. That's not what martial artists did. However. He did not kick the guide. He did not punch the guide. He did not twist the guide into a pretzel, choke him out, throw him or do any sort of hit at all. Instead: He sat the guide down in his hut. Then helped the man out by sharpening every knife in the kitchen, while the guide was made to watch.

Because whatever else he might be, Ranma Saotome was also a massive, massive troll.

1. The encounter with Shampoo goes differently.
2. The guide doesn't know everything about this curse after all.
3. Skip ahead to the Tendos.
4. Something else