There was so much going on in his life these days. A curse that made him a weak and helpless pig. A wonderful, beautiful girl who adored his cursed form and was nice to him as a man. And then - of course - there was Ranma Saotome. A detestable person who enjoyed tormenting others for the sake of his own arrogance. The person responsible for his curse. A boy who had a curse he dared complain about when it was far more tolerable than being made into a little piglet. The boy that was engaged to the girl Ryoga liked. The lost boy had every single reason to hate that arrogant, pigtailed smartass.
But at this very moment Ryoga couldn't bring himself to properly hate Ranma, for he had finally taken the fall that follows pride. Strength sapped away. Maybe forever. Where the others with a grudge to bear took glee in exacting their revenge, Ryoga found such a thing too cruel to contemplate. Like picking on a child, or a helpless little black piglet.
All of which left only one question on his mind: Where the hell was he now?!
"P-Chan!" cried a familiar voice, and all of a sudden Ryoga, in pig form of course, found himself being scooped up into the arms of Akane Tendo and nuzzled against her chest. "Oh, you cute little piggy wiggy! What are you doing all the way out here? You might get eaten alive!"
Heaven. He was in heaven. Nuzzling affectionately up against the chest of the girl he liked, ah, he'd feel like the scum of the earth later on but for this moment in time let him enjoy himself for once -
There was a loud snap a little way off behind him, followed by the voice of that old crone yelling, "Even my patience is drawing thin! Do you want to be a weakling forever?"
This made Ryoga do something he didn't normally; He looked around at his surroundings. They appeared to be within a wood, up a mountain. Not at the Tendo home at all. Over there was the old crone, and grumbling next to her was Ranma Saotome. Girl form. Wearing a damp tanktop that clung to her breasts like - Like a shamelessly ignorant hussy! Did that boy-turned-girl have no sense of proper behaviour? No sense of self awareness or shame about his cursed form?
Honestly, the sight made Ryoga blush and turn back to Akane, so pure, so innocent, so -
"Got a plan to get Ranma into bed?" Ukyo Kuonji huskily whispered into Akane's ear. Ah. She was here as well? Ryoga didn't even notice. "I can't wait to rock that booty."
"Nothing yet," Akane whispered back, licking her lips with a peculiarly hungry gleam in her eyes. The last time Ryoga had seen that particular gleam was this one time he had to hide from a pack of wolves while stuck out in the rain. "All I know is that we've got to ease her into it."
"Mm, definitely!" Ukyo shuddered. "A tasty treat should be savoured. Any chef will tell you: Rush a meal, ruin a meal."
"...Huh? Really?" Akane asked. "But surely if you prepare the food as quickly as possible, it means people can enjoy it sooner."
Out of the corner of his piggy eye, Ryoga saw Ukyo turn away from the sight of Ranma's training and stare at Akane like she'd just claimed to have met the bunny in the moon. The way her expression changed so gradually, yet so quickly left him feeling a little flat footed and even more confused about the conversation he was listening to. And it would only get worse.
"If you're cooking meat, you want to try and get the inside fully cooked at the same time the outside is," Ukyo said, or more like lectured. "If you cook too quickly, you'll burn the outside before the inside is properly cooked. That's why you should use a medium heat for a longer time instead of a high heat for a short time."
"Right..." Akane scrunched up her face. Digesting the information. Then smiled. Usually Ryoga would find great comfort in her smile, but today for some reason he felt something else. Something he couldn't identity. Something... Terrible. "In other words if we want to cook Ranma's buns, we should keep the heat steady for a while and be patient until she's cooking all the way through?"
"Might be a bit tricky when she's already so hot!"
The two girls giggled. What was this? What's going on here? Why, it almost sounded like - like these two were planning on seducing Ranma into a threesome! No, no. He must be misunderstanding things. They must be talking about something else, and he's just lacking the context to properly understand what was really going on. Yes, yes. He'd seen this sort of thing happen to Ranma already, as it happened. Misunderstandings. Grabbing the wrong end of the stick. It was simply out of character for these two girls to discuss something as crass and perverted as a -
"I can't wait until she's finished though," Akane whispered. "All three of us in the sack, taking that pigtailed hottie to the limits of sexual ecstasy..."
"Ooh, stop!" Ukyo whimpered. "You'll make me drool! That threesome would be so hot!"
And that sound you hear, ladies and gentlemen, off in the distance like a tree falling over or perhaps a cave collapsing in on itself? That was the sound of Ryoga Hibiki's mind being blown. Now, true enough: He had just been thinking to himself that it was probable he'd been grabbing the wrong end of the stick. Misunderstanding things. Appointing blame when there was an alternative explanation.
However! His mind was a lot like a train in that it was able to let out a lot of steam, was pretty hard to stop once it got going and had a set series of tracks in front of it that it could not deviate from even if it wanted to. As such! "Blaming Akane" was not on those tracks. "Thinking Akane is a pervert" wasn't either. On the other hand, "Blame Ranma" was, and "Thinking Ranma is a pervert" was also a little further towards the end of the line, but was a station less often visited.
"P-chan!" Akane gasped as the little pig squirmed out of her grip, tears in his eyes, and off into the forest he dashed. Heart pounding, feet clopping against the ground. Not turning back for a second when his only thought, his only concern was ensuring he found some hot water.
And when he did find some? He wouldn't send Ranma to hell. He would drag it up and force hell down Ranma's sick, twisted, corrupting throat!
<hr>
Several hours later... As evening approached.
Two more steps... One more step... The centre was reached. Ranma leaped up and fistpumped the air in triumph, and even then this blasted contraption didn't snap up around her at all. Ice cold. Total control over her battle aura. Heh. She shot a glance across at the two girls watching on the side. Even if the two of them started tongue kissing right now she wouldn't feel anything, no sir! Not embarrassed, not distracted, not nothing!
"Excellent work, son-in-law!" the old ghoul cackled. "You have now grasped the fundamentals of this powerful technique."
"Eh? The fundamentals?" Ranma asked. "Then how do I master this thing?"
"Is there anything we can do to help?" Akane asked, raising her hand. Feh! She'd done enough already!
"Yes, we're very eager to help out any way we can!" Ukyo also had her hand raised, but there was this kinda weird breathiness to her voice. Must be hungry or something.
"No," Cologne sternly swung her staff around to point at the two girls. "Neither of you can do anything to help at this stage. In fact. Leave. You have done all you can to assist, and this final step is too dangerous for either of you to handle."
Even Ranma felt a little bad for them with that kind of tone! On the other hand... "Dangerous?" Ranma asked. Not really worried for her own sake. For all she didn't like the old ghoul, she wouldn't put Ranma through training if she didn't feel Ranma could take it. "What exactly do we have to do for this next part?"
"What we need is someone with a high amount of killing intent," Cologne sagely, calmly stated. "While I do sense a great deal of intensity in their battle aura, no doubt a desire to assist... Could either of you attack Ranma with the passion we require?"
The girls hesitated for a moment, looked at each other and shook their head.
"And would you willingly unleash the Hiryu Shoten Ha on either of them?"
Ranma didn't even have to answer that. Just looked at the ground sheepishly. Of course that wasn't possible! That powerful attack... Even though the two of them were teasing something fierce earlier, they were still Ranma's friends.
"This creates a problem," Cologne sighed. "Until we can find -"
Everyone went quiet and still all of a sudden. The reason was quite simple, really. All of them were martial artists. Even Akane - who was the weakest here in Ranma's estimation - had to notice something like that. It was like a giant footstep making the ground quake. Like a plane breaking the sound barrier. It was the kind of thing you couldn't help but notice even if you wanted to ignore it. And the source of it was...
"Ranma Saotome! Prepare to die!"
... Was the solution to their problem, for once arriving in the nick of time.
- This part progresses much like canon: Ranma pulls off a flawless Shiryu Hoten Ha.
- Turns out the lesbian shard was doing... something to Ryoga while he was nuzzling Akane's chest.
- Something in Ranma's first Shiryu Hoten Ha goes awry due to the influence on his training.
- During the fight, Cologne takes a closer look at the two girls. Something about them has been off all day.
- Something else
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