Story: UY First Impressions

There was silence in the Moroboshi household, the value of which cannot be easily overstated. Especially when they had this many unwanted houseguests. Mr Moroboshi himself glanced up from his newspaper to look around the room. His wife was next to him. Opposite the two of them, there was Ataru flanked by his longtime girlfriend Shinobu and another pretty girl he didn't recognise who had introduced herself as Benten. Then, at either end of the table, there was a priestess on one side and a devil directly opposite.

Yes, the value of silence was difficult to overstate in the Moroboshi household. And so he decided to hold onto and cherish the moment for so long as it would last. If his son had brought along this many friends all at once then that time could surely be counted in mere seconds.

"Hey, this ain't half bad!" Benten happily said while taking rather huge bites out of the watermelon slice set in front of herself. Apparently utterly oblivious to the tension in the air. "That's gotta be the second nicest thing I've tasted since coming here!"

She said that last part while pointedly looking directly at Ataru. Oh, dear. Was this girl intending to vie for his son's affections against Shinobu? For the first time in his life, he felt genuine envy for his son. To have two beauties in pursuit of you! What an astounding good fortune.

And some people wonder where the boy gets that attitude from. Including his parents.

"If only we didn't have so many guests it would have lasted longer..." Mrs Moroboshi quietly griped. "I mean, you're very welcome, Miss Benten. Are you sure we haven't met before? The more I look at you, the more strangely familiar you seem."

"Must be your imagination!" Benten quipped, reaching for a glass of water that somehow, impossibly, slipped right out of her hand and tipped right over her head. Impossibly because within four seconds Ataru, Shinobu, the priestess and Mrs Moroboshi had all done the same exact thing, with each solely splashing poor Miss Benten.

"Oh, I am so terribly sorry!" Mrs Moroboshi gasped. "What terribly bad luck. We simply can't leave you sitting there in those damp clothes."

"Yeah, yeah! I know the drill," Benten sighed while ringing out the bottom of her shirt. Her white shirt. Her damp white shirt. Which didn't have a bra underneath. Inexplicably his dear wife just happened to trod on his foot while standing up.

"It's alright," Shinobu quickly said. "Why don't I pick out something for her to wear? C-Come on now, let's hurry along. Ataru, stop staring at her like that!"

His son obeyed the instruction by shifting his openly perverted gaze from Benten towards Shinobu. Curiously enough, Shinobu seemed to nod bashfully at that, and was it his imagination or was there a bit more of a wiggle to her step than usual? Not that he paid special attention to his son's girlfriend's gait in particular, but it did rather seem like she was going out of her way to -

"Ah! What a pleasant, charming atmosphere," the devil suddenly said in between nibbles on the watermelon slice with his big, oversized teeth. "So full of pretty girls. It might not be as nice as home, but I suppose it's not quite so bad as it could be."

"How did you do that?" the priestess suddenly said. All three Moroboshis then slid back from the table. Call it survival instinct. Call it pattern recognition. Either way they did it all the same. "I was watching you the entire time, and you didn't do a single thing... Yet that poor girl still had a sudden spike of bad luck hit her from out of nowhere."

"Wha-?" the devil gasped. "You are accusing me of doing that?!"

"A perverted little imp like you might certainly... Certainly... Achoo! Achoo! ACHOO!"

"Here, have a handkerchief," the devil said, offering one to the priestess. Goodness, that sounded like the setup to a really bad, really dirty joke. Knowing himself the way he did, Mr Moroboshi would be up all night trying to work out what the punchline would be.

"Thank you," the priestess replied, taking the offered gift and blowing her nose on it. The white paper turned bright green in seconds. "For getting close enough that I can exorcise you without having to exert too much physical effort!"

She slammed an ofuda down, but hit nothing but table. The little imp was a damn sight more nimble and obnoxious than first appearances indicated. It bounced around the room while the priestess threw around charms and missed every last one of them.

"Dear," Mr Moroboshi suddenly said, "it occurs to me that, perhaps it has been a while since we went to see a movie together."

"I think that was because the last time we went we ended up with..." His wife nodded towards their son, who was trapped by the counter in the ongoing farce. "You do get a little frisky in the dark, dearest..."

"My western colleague once used to use the phrase 'a call for Mister Kettle' in reference to statements just like that one..." He took his wife by the hand and led her out through the front door. Yes, the silence was nice while it lasted. Yes, the house would probably be a bit of a mess by the time he got back. On the other hand there was pretty much nothing he could do about it, so why not take the opportunity to destress and let what happens happen? Sort it out later on.

And maybe try to figure out where exactly his son got his personality from in the first place.

<hr>
Benten had to give her this much. Shinobu was strong. Scary strong. As in, Benten had gone to pin her against the wall for a quick makeout session, found herself being picked up with one hand and carried all the way across the room, and not for a single second did their lips part.

Whatever she might have to say about the human physique, they sure were a hell of a lot of fun to play with!

"Alright, that's quite enough!" Shinobu said with a weary sigh, parting their lips with a promise to return at a later time. Just not immediately. Benten went for it anyway, but again: Shinobu was strong. Scary strong at that. "To be honest I want to as well, but the trouble is that with your luck anyone could walk in at any time."

If that didn't earn a pout, Benten didn't know what would. Didn't budge. Must be serious. "Fine, fine, whatever." Benten huffed. "Say, while we're alone... What're we gonna do with little miss sickness there? Maladies aside, she's one cute little number. Doncha think?"

"Oh, definitely," Shinobu giggled. "But the truth is... I don't know what we're going to do with her. She's way too sick to mess around with, and I don't feel comfortable hitting on someone that frail either."

Oho? Well, that might explain her behaviour today. While it was certainly true enough that Shinobu had begun to stroll down the hentai side, she clearly didn't feel comfortable standing there quite yet. Even after all they'd done at Oyuki's place she was still hesitant. What fun.

"Heh! Alright, if you say so," Benten said with a shrug, dropping her chain on the floor. And then she gripped the bottom side of her too-tight shirt and yanked it over her head in one solid motion, leaving it twirling around her finger while she stood there completely bare chested and pretending obliviousness to Shinobu's stare. "Then I guess we gotta figure out a way to make her healthier, don't we?"

"Uh... Y-Yeah," Shinobu nodded. Now Benten dumped the sodden shirt on the bed and peeled the shorts off her legs, making quite sure to take her time doing so and that those legs were perfectly straight as she did so. The audible gulp Shinobu let out could be taken as some more footsteps down the hentai path. "Do you have some sort of miracle cure or something?"

"I might be able to wrangle up something." Benten stepped out of the shorts. Naked. Still a little wet, and not just because of the spilled glasses either. Hands on hips, let the human drink in what she'd just said no to. Let her take in how bad an idea that was. "In the meantime, didn't I come in here for a new set of clothes? I guess they must be kept in here..."

Hehehe, it was perfect. She'd open up the wardrobe , pretend to be looking inside for something she wanted to wear while gently and seductively swaying in place like a blade of grass in the wind. Whatever hesitation Shinobu had towards her new perverted outlook would be blown away in no time at all. It really was the perfect plan!

Except that she rather lost the cool seductress points when the wardrobe contents suddenly spilled out on top of her, leaving everything but her head completely buried underneath a mountain of cloth. Ah, that's right. She wasn't getting lucky today no matter what happened.

Which meant that in the end she'd have to put off plans for getting that frail chick sorted out off 'til tomorrow at least. Anything she might try to get it done today would probably end in disaster.

<hr>
This was a disaster. He was trapped in the kitchen, by the counter, while a priestess and a devil had a game of "tag". Ataru dare not step out. Unless he really wanted a probably mystically charged ofuda smacking him on the forehead. Which he did not.

His parents had left him behind. His girlfriend(s) had left him behind. He had nothing to do right now but try not to get noticed by these two unexpected weirdos who had appeared out of nowhere.

But hey, on the bright side: This watermelon was divine.

"Stand still and let me deliver divine retribution!"


"Wah! You really are terrible at negotiation!" The devil then suddenly bounced into the one direction Ataru rather hoped it would not, but deep in his heart knew it would. It jumped right onto his chest and clung there for dear, dear life. "Please, sir! I just want to go home! Save me from that mean woman!"

"That's it, hold him right there!"

"Wah!"

The priestess lunged forward, suddenly winced in pain and stumbled, her robe caught on the edge of a chair. Momentum did its job correctly and sent her flying forward with rather less grace than a drunken bull, resulting in - not for the first time recently - a half-naked, busty chick pinning him to the floor and staring him right in the face.

"Ah," the priestess said. "Achoo!" Lovely. Right in the face. Ataru closed his eyes and turned his head away in a desperate effort not to be sneezed on again, which was really something he didn't want to be doing right now. The boobs were <i>right there</i>! She yelped and the sound of rustling cloth betrayed that she was covering herself up again. Damn!

"Perverted devil!" the priestess roared, then broke out into a hacking, wheezing cough. "Your attempt to make me blame this boy for your misdeeds is... Is... What is that?!"


What indeed. For a little while now, since the priestess had landed on him, Ataru had been feeling something kind of nuzzling up against his cheek. He opened his eyes to look at it. Then regretted this decision. He would later learn that it was the very incarnation of the spirit of the common cold trying to use his face as a pillow. On reflection he would have to agree, that yes, something as horrible and disgusting as this would absolutely be what that would look like.

"Begone!" the priestess yelled, casting an ofuda down upon the thing while her cheeks began to swell up. She limped over to him again, clutching her robe closed while she did so. "How strange," she said. "You... I thought there was something about you! You are what I sensed earlier, aren't you? Not that imp, not at all. But, how could a mere human..."

"Hi there," Ataru cheerily called, trying desperately to repress the sight of the thing trying to snuggle him a moment ago. "My name is Ataru! What's yours?"

"Sakura," the priestess answered. "Curses! That little imp has escaped... No matter! Instead, I'll deal with you first. Then I'll deal with that imp. If I try to chase two rabbits then I will lose them both."

1. The li'l devil starts trying to bug Shinobu and Benten, with limited success.
2. The li'l devil is hiding in the kitchen, watching Ataru and Sakura.
3. Same as above, but it's noticed.
4. The li'l devil has hopped out into the street, where it soon encounters... Ran!
5. Something else