Imagine the very image of innocence, carefree and happy, skipping down the street with a song in their heart and joy in each step. The kind of expression that makes elder folk nod knowingly at the sight of a youngster in love. Ah yes, they would think. That person is feeling their heart leap in their chest for the very first time in their life. The passion that it invokes, the energy it musters. Oh, how splendid it is, and how crushing it will probably be if that love turns out to be false.
Yet beneath the surface of that innocent exterior was a much more, shall we call it, malicious intention. Easy to anger, quick to point fingers and faster still to conjure images of vengeance. Which of these was the true face of this person? Was it the innocent exterior, or the wicked interior? Who could say, who could say?
Regardless of which it was, this particular copy of Ataru just so happened to skip right into a certain girl that was turning the corner while carrying a plate full of cookies intended to satiate any appetite. Cookies that landed on the pavement and left great big dents wherever they happened to land.
"Wah, my cookies!" Ran cried, lamenting the hours upon hours spent upon these delicious, heavy treats.
"Wah, my foot!" the Ataru cried, hopping around on one leg while holding quite firmly onto his other foot. "You careless girl! S-So mean!"
"If you'd been more careful and watched where you were going, this wouldn't have happened in the first place!" Ran yelled. "I mean... Poor Ran! After she spent all that time slaving over a hot stove! Boo hoo hoo!"
Seeming to pick up on this cue, Ataru #3 also let the crocodile tears flow freely while rubbing his rather sore foot. Now. Let's step back and see what these two were really thinking just now so that we can have a better taste of events still to come.
For Ran: "How dare he spill Rei's cookies! They were meant for him, not the pavement... Ooh! Lum's special darling is such a pain in the neck! It's about time I got a little bit of payback for all of the humiliation those two have put upon me!" Which is when a truly wicked idea popped right into her head.
For Ataru #3: "This chick should watch where she's going if she's carrying things that heavy! I need to work out a way to get revenge on her right away!"
Which is why Ran suddenly dropped the crocodile tears act and turned to Ataru with an apologetic, rapidly blinking expression. "Li'l Ran is soooo sorry," she said, twirling one foot in place for a little extra cuteness emphasis. "She didn't mean to drop her cookies on your foot like that. Why don't I make it up to you with a quick kiss? Would that be enough to make you forgive me?"
"Kiss you?" Ataru sniffed. "I'd rather eat dirt. It would probably leave a better taste in my mouth. And it would look way cuter too. Here's hoping I never see your ugly mug again."
Now, to Ataru that was just the start of his quest for vengeance. Insulting a girl's looks was a pretty low blow, especially when she actually was kinda pretty... But right now he was thinking that was the only good quality she had. Still! That was not remotely satisfying enough. He needed something else. Some kinda revenge that would put her in her place. See how she liked having something heavy dumped on her foot all of a sudden!
And while he limped off Ran stood frozen in place except for very gentle breathing and a very twitchy eyebrow. The cookies lying on the pavement began to melt. Why would they do that all of a sudden? Why, from the sheer pressure of her fury. What else?
"What did he say to meeeee?!" Ran asked, turning positively demonic in the process. "Did he insult my looks and casually walk away?! That pervert denied the chance at a free smooch from a girl as cute as li'l Ran?! I'll have his guts! I'll have his head! I'll have him begging for mercy by the time this day is done!"
So begins a prank war that would ultimately conclude with hate sex that was so potent it could, had anyone thought to invent, invest in and set up the relevant equipment, easily powered a city. It must also be noted that Ran had just completely forgotten all about her date with Rei, which was actually perfectly fine because chance led him towards a bachelorette party, culminating in him not only forgetting about the date but also ending the night with a fuller-than-usual bottomless belly.
But seriously. These two were going to hate fuck each other so intensely it literally changed the weather patterns in the nearby area. We're talking a level of passion usually reserved for religious experiences. That's why, just to tease you, we're going to turn away and look at something else for a little bit.
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"Why the hell do I feel like I came in last?" Ryunosuke asked aloud to nobody in particular. She scratched her head and shrugged it off. Looking at her it's honestly hard to believe this is a girl. It's not that she was wearing a shirt, taped down her breasts and wore trousers. It was everything about her. The way she walked, the way she talked, the general impression she gave off to those around her. Ryunosuke was actually a pretty cute chick. She just behaved so much like a man that it was impossible to think of her as otherwise, right up until you were told it by someone else.
Usually her.
This leads to a variety of other sticky problems. Like chicks confessing to her all the damned time! They'd stuff flowers or chocolates in her face and go "We know you're a girl, but -" Ack! It was so annoying! Although not half as annoying as the boy up ahead.
"I ain't in the mood to put up with your shit today, Moroboshi," she scowled at the pervert leaning on a wall. "You even try touching me, I'll mess you up."
His reaction was kind of unexpected, if she was honest. Instead of his usual schtick of pretending to be nice and apologetic, he just sort of peered at her over his shoulder with a strangely cool expression, stuck his hands on his hips and shrugged.
"Eh, whatever," Ataru said. "Ain't got time for a chick that doesn't know how to handle a man anyway."
As a girl trained in martial arts she had some grounding in psychological strategy. In particular she knew enough to recognise reverse psychology when she heard it. She was supposed to get upset (which she was, a little) and go, 'Hey, I'll show ya I know how to handle a man,' which would lead into what he wanted: Touching her body for whatever reason. Instead she would -
"Feh, fine by me," Ryunosuke sniffed. Hold it back, girl! Don't let him play mind games with ya! "All I need to know about handling a man is how to suplex him!"
"What kinda suplex?" Ataru asked. "German? Vertical? Belly to belly? Fisherman's? Full nelson?"
"Huh?" Ryunosuke asked, scratching her head. She only ever really had experience with amateur wrestling, hadn't ever even heard of professional wrestling. Therefore, a suplex was a very specific kind of throw so far as she knew. "Fisherman's? Full nelson? The hell are those?"
Sadly, there was little time for that kind of thinking! Over Ataru's shoulder she could see a trio of thugs intimidating a kinda dorky-looking kid. She tsked and rolled her eyes. Ryunosuke didn't like seeing that kinda crap, never had. Teaming up to beat someone up always sat rotten with her, so she stepped forward -
"This is a full nelson suplex," Ataru said, easily beating her to the trio, simply because he was that much closer. He caught the guy from behind, slapped him in a full nelson, then leaned back and dumped the guy on his head.
"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?" another asked, making the mistake of charging right at Ataru. A mistake, Ryunosuke now realised, because the battle aura he was putting off was... Making her feel kinda funny for some reason, right in the pit of her stomach.
"I think I'm doing a fisherman's suplex," Ataru said, ducking neatly under the attacker's fist. He then grabbed the man's head with one arm, hooked the leg with his other, and then lifted him fully overhead, bridged backwards and dumped him on his back.
"Oh!" Ryunosuke said, stepping in just as the last of them was moving in to kick Ataru while he was vulnerable. "When I said suplex, I figured you meant grabbing the guy by the waist -"
"Please don't," the thug begged.
"Lifting him up."
"Oh god, no!"
"Then bridging backwards so you dump the tool on his back!"
"Ow! Ow! Ow!"
"Technically that's a German suplex," Ataru corrected. "Hmm? I'da thought a tough chick like you woulda seen pro wrestling at some point."
"There's pro wrestling?!"
"Sure is. There's a show on. I was gonna give it a miss, but - My treat, how about it?"
Sneaky bastard! Getting her hopes up like that, just so he could ask her out on a "date". Whatever that thing was. She still never really understood the point of them, but her instincts usually told her to try and avoid 'em. Then again... Those same instincts were saying to go for it.
"Fine," she relented. "But you touch me once, and I'll break your arm."
"You'd be welcome to try," Ataru # 6 arrogantly taunted. Normally she'd at least make a token effort to remind him of how easily she could kick his ass... Except for some reason she kinda didn't want to. Something about Ataru today was making her wanna kind of spend more time with him. Hell. Maybe if he behaved himself today, he might even get the chance to touch her shoulder or something... Nah, what was she thinking? Letting a pervert touch her? Bah!
- At the wrestling show, Ryu gets really into it.
- The prank war begins!
- Lum and Shinobu decide to track down the other Atarus.
- Sakura and #4 start to hit it off.
- The competitiveness of Benten and #5 takes an erotic turn.
- Something else
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