If one were to describe Ataru Moroboshi in euphemistic terms, dancing around his lecherous ways, then one would have to focus on his poor fortune, or quite possibly his extremely energetic, excitable nature. Rushing around all over the place the way he did to... Converse with strangers, enquiring as to their well being and whether they might wish to pursue further conversation with him at a later date in a more private setting.
So there is a sort of poetry in him finding such rest in sleep, for as active as his body is, so too is his mind. Almost too active for him to keep up with, actually. Most of the time, before he's even noticed a good idea he's had something else has captured his attention and whoops! It's gone.
"Hey, boss!" a tiny blue alligator cheerily greeted once Ataru had finally nodded off. "So what's the plan for tonight? Huh? Huh? Huh?!"
The pervert sat up from his position in the dreamscape, which looked exactly like where he'd gone to sleep for the night since he hadn't yet realised he could manipulate even this aspect of his experience, and patted the tiny, mascot-like figure reassuringly on the head. It mewled like a kitten. Let it be known that a blue alligator mewling like a kitten is not remotely adorable, instead veering sharply into the opposite direction on that scale. Ataru himself cared not a whit. Had he been more conscious he might have continued to do this out of fear that the thing might bite him, but he wasn't exactly firing on those kinds of cylinders right now. Dream logic, et al.
"Good question," Ataru chuckled, and his eyes twinkled with promised mischief. "Whose dream should I take a wander through tonight? Maybe Shinobu's? Or Sakura's? Or maybe someone else entirely?"
"What about Miss Lum?" the alligator excitedly yipped. Of course, were Ataru more psychologically analytical or self aware he might have considered that the alligator was a reflection of his own mind, expressing desires and thoughts he might not even know he was having. "She's really pretty! I bet she's having a nice dream tonight."
Now, that thought made Ataru hem and haw. The only thing that ever slowed him down these days seemed to be that bikini-clad, lightning-hurling, perpetually jealous Oni chick. Although now that he thought about it a little bit... She'd ducked away right after school and hidden in her UFO all evening before returning here to sleep in the closet as usual right before bedtime.
"Maybe you'll be able to find out what she's up to?" the alligator suggested. "Won't know until you try. Right? Am I right, boss? Am I? Huh? Am I?"
"Of course you are!" Ataru triumphantly declared, standing up to his fullest height with hands on his hips, adopting a pose he'd seen quite often in American comics. A cape billowed out behind him, blown by a breeze that shouldn't have been blowing indoors. "After all, isn't that the point to my girl chasing? You never know until you try!"
"Go, boss, go!"
He turned around in place and marched right off to the closet where Lum was sleeping peacefully. The closet door itself was no obstacle to his approach, nor to the alligator which sat by her head and sighed. Its eyes were replaced with pulsing hearts. Not, you know, realistic hearts. More as in the symbol, the shape people associate with the organ.
"Oi, oi!" Ataru admonished the abstract manifestation of some part of his own mind. The alligator pouted, but drifted off a little backwards. "Let's check out her dream..."
And just like that, it was as though a door had opened up, letting the two of them through. It led them out into a small yet splendid room. A lavish bed over in the corner, a carpet so soft it would feel as though each step made you bounce. It was bright. It was colourful. It was... A silk prison, ruined by the effects of the bars on the window and the big, heavy-looking door with chains all over it. On that bed was a green-haired princess in a big, flowery dress with the back of her right hand pressed against her forehead.
"Pretty!" the alligator applauded.
"Shush, you!" Ataru rolled his eyes. "This seems kinda similar to the dream the other two were having, I think? Weird... Alright! Let's try something really simple... Gotcha!"
"Hey!" one of the little Lum dream imps yelped as soon as Ataru picked it up. "Put me down, you - Darling!"
And here, we see the wild Lum-shaped dream imps perk up their ears at the sound of their mating call. Observe as they all take on doe eyes and levitate with increasing velocity towards their "Darling" in flocking formation, eagerly nuzzling up against him and causing him quite undue discomfort in the process. If you watch carefully, you might be able to see on his face the passing thought emerge "this is not the kind of harem I wanted!"
"Darling!" they all cooed affectionately. "Darling!"
"Get off!" Ataru insisted. "I said - Get off! Ahem! May I please see the script?"
"Of course, Darling!" one of the Lums said, dumping the script right on his head. "Have you come to watch the dream play out? Have you? Huh? Have you?"
"Boss," the alligator said, clasping its hands to where its cheeks should have been. "They're - They're all so... So tiny and - And!"
"And it might be best if I didn't make any in-depth revision at first..." Ataru mused aloud. "Change Lum's dress to her normal bikini, and let's see where we can go from there."
"Yes, Darling!" the dream imps yelled in freaky, freaky unison, and then they set about their task, kicking up a smoke cloud as they worked. Ataru watched from a distance, wondering if he'd be able to manipulate this dream as freely as he had Sakura and Ran's, or if it would be stubborn like Shinobu. Hence the test. No point going to the effort if it didn't pay off, and besides he was hardly going to complain about being able to see Lum in her bikini instead of a stupid, impractical-looking -
The cloud settled. Ataru dropped the script. The blue alligator fell to the ground and started fanning itself. They had changed Lum's dress into her normal bikini alright. However... They had also, for reasons that he absolutely did not understand, created another Lum that was still wearing the same dress and was lying on the bed next to the first in exactly the same pose.
"All done!" the Lum imps cheerily called. Then, for no apparent reason, they all transformed into little Ataru dream imps for a single heartbeat, then back again, with the change accompanied both times by a strange burst of static. "Please take a seat, the dream is about to start!"
"Huh?" Ataru shook his head. "Wait, I haven't made any changes to the -" he opened the script. His face fell blank. Across his face, a stream of lights showing an image that had Lum's silhouette, dancing in a rain of binary. Then, after a moment of absolute silent staring he closed it again and quietly said, "Eternity can be represented by a string of ones and zeros. There is no random chance. Only binary. Endless strings of binary."
"You okay, boss? Come to think... Doesn't everything seem kinda glitchy in here right now?"
As a matter of fact, that was a pretty good way to explain it. For example, the room felt tiny and huge at the same time. Comfortable yet constricting. Something about the architecture was tickling the back of his brain, and he couldn't put his finger on what it was. The room just... Felt off.
"Oh, no!" both Lums called in unison. "Whatever shall become of me? Trapped in this room all by myself until a brave, handsome knight comes to take me away from this dreadful place." Flutter eyelashes, and their movements were even mirrored.
Suddenly, the door inexplicably exploded, leaving no trace of wooden shards or metal chains anywhere at all. It was like they'd all evaporated, or completely ceased to be. Standing in the doorway was, well, Ataru himself clad in knightly regalia and standing quite pompously.
"I have come to rescue thee, fair maiden!" the Ataru knight cooed, giving the twins a hearty bow.
"Ugh..." Ataru gagged. "Let's get outta here before it gets too sappy and sweet. Maybe if we check out one of the other chicks, they're having a more interesting dream to play around in."
He summoned the doorway and hurried out through it, only stopping long enough to see both versions of Lum rushing over towards the Ataru knight with perfectly mirrored movements and completely ignoring the slight twinge of irrational jealousy he was feeling towards, well, a not real version of himself.
"Oh, brave sir knight!" the Lums said as one. "So handsome and kind. Alas, the door and window were not the only barriers to my freedom. You see, we labour under a terrible curse, and you must slay a frightful beast..."
Yep. Just like Lum to have some sorta overly romantic, idealised dream about him. If he wanted to have a good old perverted time the others would have to be better, so he closed the door and left Lum's freaky, glitchy dream behind.
And almost as soon as he did so, the Lums said the following in unison.
"A beast called 'virginity'," the Lums said, dropping their clothes to the ground with the exact same motion - though in the case of the bikini that made no sense at all - and stalked over towards the bed, where they awaited their knight with great eagerness.
So you see, sometimes it really does pay to be patient. You never quite know what you're going to miss out on... Or, for that matter, miss out on the chance of joining in on. As for whose dream Ataru decided to check out next....
- Sakura
- Shinobu
- Ran
- Ryonosuke
- Ryoko
- Someone else
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