Story: Curvy Rei

"What's the emergency?" Shigeru asked, easily keeping stride with her as she hurried down the corridor as fast as she could manage while maintaining the slightest air of professionalism she could grasp hold of during a minor panic attack. "It's not like you to freak out like that unless something big is happening, right?"

"Big?" Misato considered. An image of Rei's enhanced chest flashed in her mind. Her face dispassionate, her arms slightly tucked underneath to give them a little more unnecessary heft. Then out of nowhere Shinji's slack-jawed face slipped in and was pulled face first into Rei's cleavage. MIsato began walking a trifle faster. "Yes, I suppose you could say it's big... But it's not something I'll need any help with, so return to your duties while I -"

Stop cold in the corridor at an intersection when Rei skipped down the perpendicular branch without a single stitch of clothing on her body. It was the kind of sight that had an effect on the brain pretty much immediately. You know. Sort of like if your brain were a train, and someone threw a signal switch. Whatever it was you were thinking about just then, you were now absolutely thinking about something else entirely.

Shigeru, for his part, had stopped mid-step, foot still in the air. In turn, Rei seemed to notice them, tilted her head in their direction and bounced around to face them with a really, really unsettling grin on her otherwise pretty face. The only movement Misato made for a moment was to lift her hand so that it covered Shigeru's eyes. Rei copied the gesture, then waved at them with her other hand.

"Was that -?" Shigeru asked, pointing blindly ahead.

"Eyes closed, buster!" Misato snapped, fully entering mama bear mode. You could say that she had developed a rather overprotective instinct regarding these pilots. Professionally, personally. Because in the harsh environment of NERV someone had to have a damn to give! Might as well be her since she, at least, still had the ability to balance having a soul with saving the world. She turned and saw Shigeru screw his eyes tightly shut as if he'd just learned Cthulhu was about to step out in front of him and his mind would be torn asunder at the slightest glimpse.

Once assured of Rei's innocence being maintained - at least whatever was left of it - Misato tugged off her jacket, rushed forward and draped it across the naked, busty girl's shoulders. As she did so, Rei's hand reached up to touch the back of Misato's hand, and oooh boy, was that skin soft and smooth to the touch. It almost felt like a little static electricity shot up there, or maybe that for a second her skin had grabbed onto Misato's fingers and not wanted to let go.

"I need a beer," Misato sighed. "This is really weird, even by our standards."

"Beer," Rei said, and the weird thing was she sort of... Straightened up a little bit. Her body language almost seemed more professional? "That sounds nice, but not on duty. Maybe later."

"Is it okay to open my eyes now?" Shigeru asked. "I'd really like to know what's going on."

"You can, and that makes two of us..." Misato said, watching Rei carefully. How strange. The way she was behaving right now wasn't like Rei at all. Not even earlier on, which had been strange but identifiably Rei once you got past certain interesting changes to appearance and outlook... It almost felt as though she was looking at Rei's twin rather than the girl herself. The way she flicked back her hair, the way she turned around to look at Misato, buttoning up the jacket around herself to the best of her ability. Almost like she was trying her best to look presentable.

"Oh dear," Rei said, looking down at herself. "This really won't do. This kind of attire really isn't suitable for on-duty activities, is it?"

"Excuse me?" Shigeru said, lazily raising his hand. "Why was Rei naked just now? And... How do I put this exactly without sounding really creepy…?"

"Why is she so sexy all of a sudden?" Misato asked for him. Then she winced a little. "Nope. Still sounded creepy when I said it. Anyway, I'm not sure, but I'm far more curious about what happened to the clothes you were wearing just a minute ago. What happened?"

"Oh," Rei said, nodding as if suddenly understanding something. "I get it! Right. Hmm, I suppose that is a rather complicated issue. It's nothing you need to worry about, however. First of all, I should probably put on some more clothes. If you come with me, I'll explain while I get dressed. Okay?"

"Alright..." Misato said tentatively, eyes flickering over to Shigeru. It probably wouldn't be appropriate if he came along, would it...? Instead, how about if he - "Shigeru. I'll resolve this personally. I want you to locate Doctor Akagi and tell her I want to speak with her. If not her, then maybe Maya knows something. As a last resort inform the Commander of what's happened, but only if you can't locate the other two first."

"Oh, great!" Shigeru sighed, scratching at the back of his head in typical ennui as he turned to do as instructed. "I get to tell the Commander that one of our pilots got a boob job and developed a streaking tendency. Well. It's been a nice career, I guess... You two have fun."

Fun. Right. That coy little smile on Rei's face seemed unsettlingly familiar. The way she brushed her hand out behind her head. The way she was standing. Everything felt so... Familiar. It was like looking at something she'd seen a thousand times, yet didn't know the name of. It was really throwing her off and actually making her even more worried about what the hell was going on.

"It's a shame," Rei sighed. She adjusted the jacket a little bit more, giving the impression of trying to hide a little more of her chest and only managing the opposite. "About him, I mean. Poor Shigeru. He feels the physical attraction, but doesn't trust it an inch. I do hope Shinji doesn't turn out like that; it would be far too sad."

"Oh, Shigeru?" Misato said. "Yes, I suppose that... What did you mean when you said he feels the physical attraction but doesn't trust it? What gave you that impression?"

It was an important thing to notice about Misato Katsuragi. At home she was a slob. On the field, she excelled. Her ability to analyse a tactical situation was frankly astonishing for anyone who knew what she was like on a personal level. And right here, right now, she was in full analysis mode. Which made sense. Something downright screwy was going on and she needed more data, which meant she would grab hold of it with both hands and shake it until the answers came out. So when Rei says something strange like that...

"I could sense it," Rei calmly announced with slight amusement in her tone. Folding her arms underneath her boobs, but otherwise standing perfectly seriously. "I can sense sexual interest."

"How long have you been able to do that, Rei?" Misato asked.

"Rei... Please don't call me that. From now on call me Beer. I think you'll find me a little more refreshing, however."

Beer. Right. A loss of identity associated with the massive sexual upgrade? Suddenly a few things were making a good deal more sense: Rei was emulating Misato's behavioural quirks. No wonder her behaviour, even the tone of voice she was using seemed so familiar!

"Let's get you dressed," Misato said, grabbing Rei... Beer by her shoulders. Even through the jacket that close contact made her head feel fuzzy. She shook it off for now and shoved her into a nearby room. "We'd better get you dressed... Beer."

"Oh, alright," Beer said. "But enough about what's wrong with me. Let's talk about what's wrong with you."

"Nothing's wrong with me," Misato insisted. "I'm not the one that decided to strip off and flaunt her goods for just anyone to see. Off for a nice frolic, were we? Careful there, you'll catch your death of cold."

"There it is," Beer said. "That motherly instinct is so adorable. The way you dote over Shinji and Asuka as though they were your own children. I bet you're worried the same thing that happened to Rei will happen to them as well."

Imagine if Rei had skipped into a room with a giant console in the middle of it. There's a button on that console. It's big. It's shiny. It's red. It has words in flashing lights on it that read "do not press." Well. Can you guess what Rei just did? Yep! That's right. She had just pushed Misato's berserk button. It had developed pretty naturally, really. When it seemed as though she was the only person around that cared even a little bit whether their pilots lived or died - probably not the case but it sure felt that way sometimes - it had made her instincts develop just a little bit strongly in at least that one sense.

That's why she whirled on Beer around and looked her right in her red eyes. Her pretty red eyes. Smouldering. Seductive. Unblinking. Sexy. And in spite of her sudden burst of arousal, Misato firmly warned, "If anything happens to either of them..."

"You'd have to get in line," Beer said. Her hands slipped behind Misato's back and undid the catch so discreetly that by the time Misato realised it had happened, she'd already accidentally stepped out of her dress, and Beer was bending over to pick it up. In the process letting Misato see the twin globes in the jacket and everything kind of went pink and fuzzy for a moment -

"... to worry about," Beer said with the dress in hand. MIsato shook her head. Huh? What had she been saying? "Besides, this is more about your sexual repression than my sexual expression."

"Me?" Misato asked. Huh? Since when was she sitting down. "Sexually repressed? Have you met me before? I'm Misato Katsuragi -"

"And I'm Beer," was the reply. Beer shrugged and Misato's jacket fell from her shoulders, hitting the dirt and leaving Misato's eyes trailing up and down those magnificent curves. Amazing. However that happened, someone knew exactly what they were doing. "I'm delicious, I'm intoxicating and you can never just take one sip. Now that we've formally met, tell me why the two of you broke up again? You and Kaji, I mean."

"That's none of your business," Misato insisted. Regardless: "All he was interested in was sex. Our relationship was the biggest mistake of my life. That man doesn't know anything about how to love someone, and he even admitted as much."

"Yet you still want him," Beer continued. "Don't lie. I can feel it." Before Misato could stop her, Beer sat her naked body right in her lap. "It's not healthy to repress your feelings. You put on a good performance, but your body knows what it wants. Imagine. Instead of my hot breath on your neck, that it was his..."

An image of the scruffy asshole appeared in her mind, and the response from her body was so immediate that the time to fight it did not exist. She collapsed, panting and gasping, hips thrusting up against something that wasn't there at all. That... What on earth was that? How did that...?

"W-Why are you doing this to me?" Misato demanded.

"Because you don't care," Beer replied, lifting Misato's black dress uniform above her head and shimmying into it, stretching out the material but still somehow able to get it on. Even though on Misato the dress went down to the halfway point between hips and knees, on Beer's audaciously curvaceous body it covered the hips and the butt, but only by the barest margin. As if to create a little relief for herself, Beer reached up to the neckline and -

"Hey, don't tear that!" Misato insisted, trying to roll back onto the floor while reaching out to stop her. Huh? What was wrong with her body all of a sudden? So weak, so tired. Could barely move.

"You've been working too hard," Beer said. She slunk over to the room, leaned over Misato's body and delicately, carefully, pulled the cross from around her neck and let it nestle around her own, giving it a new home at the top of her cleavage. "Let someone else worry about this sort of thing for a while. It's the Atlas effect. You know? Holding up the world all by yourself, until your shoulders start to hurt. I'll bear that load for you, just for today... And in a little bit I'll come back with a super special guest to make you feel really good."

"Huh?" Misato asked, but before she could articulate what she meant by that, Beer leaned down and gave her just the briefest kiss on the lips. Feather light. Less time than the beating of a hummingbird's wing. And yet. In spite of that. In spite of how brief it was, in spite of how little contact there was Misato felt her hands begin to tremble. Then her legs twitched and jerked, and her arms started to follow suit and this completely weird feeling began to spread through her limbs, through her torso, into her head, into her - Her - There!

"Ah!" she gasped as Beer stepped towards the door. "Oh, god! What did you do to me?"

"Just a little something to keep you playing nice," Beer sighed. "In case you got any funny ideas about coming after me... You are the sort that would probably not care too much if you were the one that was running around naked, if it was an important enough issue."

Well... That was probably true enough, but still! Misato forced herself to push her hands down onto the ground, trying desperately to right herself and pursue Beer. Try to keep her from going anywhere. Try to find out what was going on. Try to stop her if necessary.

Then, right in front of her vision was a subliminal image of Beer's naked body drifting in a black void. Dancing. Blowing her a kiss. Misato's arms and legs lost all their strength again as she gushed helplessly on the floor.

"Won't be a tick," Beer said as she slowly pulled the door closed, waving a passkey at Misato as if to tell her that the door would be locked from the outside anyway. "Kaji and I will be back before you know it, and when we do... You will learn the meaning of your own existence."

Oh, no... Kaji! Damn her own body for betraying her like this. Now she had to do the one thing she swore she'd never do again. She'd have to rely on that man to help her out. Wherever he was, whatever he was doing, he was the only one that could help her now!

1. Kaji encounters "Secret".
2. Kaji finds Maya and Naked.
3. Kaji discovers what's going on with the pilots.
4. Kaji finds his way down to where Ritsuko is, somehow.
5. Something else