Story: UY Carrot and Stick

"Alright, you guys! Pay attention!" Onsen-Mark yelled, slamming his hand against the blackboard. Everyone else jumped a little except Ataru, who sank down further in his desk. "Fufufu! You'd better pick up on today's lesson, or else I'll... Uh..."

From behind his desk, something unsettling began to emerge. It rose in a manner somewhat like the sun in the morning, slowly but steadily over the edge of a horizon. A bald head. Stoic eyes. A grim, serious expression. A dark suit. Arms clasped behind his back. It was almost as though the Principal of Tomobiki High School had somehow set up a special elevator device right beneath Onsen-Mark's desk and decided to use it rather than the front door.

The alternative was that he'd been there the entire time without the angry teacher noticing and only now chose to make his presence known. For the good of their psyches and future night's sleep, the students all agreed that the first of these two was far more preferable.

"Each new dawn brings a brand new opportunity," the Principal began. "Ah, they say that youth is wasted on the young, yet it is by being young that we make ourselves into the people we should ultimately become. Two classes have been selected for a special overnight visitation to a countryside shrine."

"What?!" Onsen-Mark yelled in abject disbelief. "But... Principal! Won't we need parental permission -"

"Already acquired," the Principal replied, gently placing a large pile of paper on the desk in front of himself.

"- Changes of clothes, transportation, accommodation  -"

"Already provided. Please go to the front of the school at your own pace."

Overnight at a shrine...? The class erupted in expected excitement, but Ataru's reaction was a little more muted than most. Could he use this situation to his advantage somehow? Sneaking a read of the scroll during class might be difficult, but if he was on a school trip then surely he'd find the chance much easier than otherwise! Hah! He'd be able to reverse the effect on Lum in no time flat!

"One last matter," the Principal calmly announced. "To minimise shenanigans, when not being attended by chaperones the boys shall be kept separate from the girls."

"Ah! Killjoy!" both Ataru and Lum yelled in unison, earning Lum a few raised eyebrows from some of the other students in class.

Although, now that he thought about it a little bit... Wasn't this a good thing? Kind of? Sure, he wouldn't be able to hit on any girls himself but it also meant Lum wouldn't be all flirty with any guys either. That meant he could use this as a rare chance to perform a little light reading and for once come up with a longer-term plan instead of flying by the seat of his pants. Aha! Perfect! He and the boys left first, at the insistence of the girls, and they all piled into one of the buses together. Ataru at the back. Yep. With the scroll tucked securely in his bag, which he'd sneak out to read as soon as nobody was paying any attention -

"Hey, whatcha got there?" a boy near him asked, and Ataru quickly stuffed the scroll back in his pocket. Ooooh, hey! Pass that around!"

"Huh? No, give that back!" another boy cried out, trying to tug at a girly mag he'd been sneaking a peek of. "It's mine! Mine!"

Hrm. On second thought, maybe he should wait for a little more privacy before giving this thing a read... Wouldn't want someone like Mendo finding out about this kinda scroll. Right?

<hr>
As Lum bustled off toward the girls' bus, her headache was getting worse and worse. She had no idea what was causing it, but somehow it felt as though it was connected to the idea that she was getting on the wrong bus. That she should be going with the boys. That she should be talking with the boys. That she should have raised her voice to object when the girls had forced the boys to head off first. That she should be going with them. That she should be flirting with them. That it felt good to flirt with boys. That it felt good to... To...

"Lum? Are you feeling alright?" a voice asked, breaking through the haze of unusual pain she was feeling. Shinobu's face suddenly filled her vision. Shinobu's pretty, cute face. The pain subsided, but only slightly. "You've had this strange look on your face for a few minutes now."

"I have?" Lum asked. Shinobu pressed the back of her hand against Lum's forehead. A sting of pleasure shot through her, casting back the pain and making her stumble forward, gripping her Darling's ex's shoulders for support. More pleasure followed, leaving her gasping for air.

"Are you not feeling well?" Shinobu asked. "Would you like me to take you to Miss Sakura? Oh, I hope you don't have to miss this rare school field trip, but if you're sick... What terrible timing!"

"Mmmn!" Lum whimpered. "No, it's alright. I'm suddenly feeling a lot better. Thank you, tcha!"

"If you say so..."

Which she most certainly did. Shinobu did this cute little turn around that completely attracted Lum's attention, making her feel good all over again. All light headed and good. The Oni girl took a more confident step forward, suddenly keenly aware of all the pretty Earth girls all around her. If only Darling were here to hit on them; the thought made Lum lick her lips in anticipation. Ooh, that would be so good to see right now! A thought that, by itself, was reinforced with more pleasure.

Then again... Maybe she was thinking about this the completely wrong way? Maybe it didn't need to be Darling that hit on all these cuties. Right? It had felt good to watch Ataru hit on those chicks (ah, bliss!) and it had felt good to hit on those boys (ooh, wonderful!) so what would happen if she...

"Say, Shinobu?" Lum asked, flicking back her hair. "Whatcha doin' tomorrow night?"

<hr>
One time, Ataru heard something about how when you travel at sufficient velocity funny things happen to the passage of time. It feels longer or shorter or something like that. Whatever. He'd learned just now that you didn't need any high level of speed or anything to accomplish the same effect, at least not with him. All you had to do was stick him on a bus, fill it with nothing but guys and have them drive out to the middle of nowhere for about an hour. Time would slow to a crawl. He would feel each drop of sand passing out the top of that hourglass like it was an earthquake.

But at last they'd arrived. He leaped out, threw himself upon the ground and eagerly kissed the soil. "Freedom!" he cried. "Sweet, sweet freedom! Now, where are the hot, young robed priestesses at this shrine?"

"Are you talking about me?"

Ataru lifted his vision, and beheld a slim, blonde-haired beauty towering over him. Save the hair, a spitting image for Miss Sakura. Those loose-fitting robes! That figure! Those eyes that were cold and warm at the same time, enticing him down to the core of his being! The very image of an erotic shrine priestess!

"Hi there!" Ataru called, enthusiastically leaping from the ground to embrace her. "My name's Ataru. What's your beautiful name?"

"Achoo! Oh my. Call me Scarlet," a voice tittered, and you know it was a funny thing but all of a sudden Ataru was having a hell of a time fitting his arms around this woman's back. It was almost as though she'd suddenly swallowed a cow - Or transformed into one! Horns and tail and hooves and all! No wonder those robes were so loose fitting! Ataru jumped away in completely understandable fright and dismay.

"Hmph!" Mendo sniffed. "Moroboshi's taste in women needs a little refinement."

"Achoo!" the cow sneezed, and suddenly she was that blonde-haired beauty again. "Welcome to our humble shrine," she demurely bowed. "It is a pleasure to have such young guests visit."

"This is a shrine?" he heard Shinobu ask, and you know now that he looked away from the pretty face and up at the building itself, it looked like a mall had mated with a shrine. This was the kind of thing that would happen if the Mendo family decided to run a shrine out of business by arrogantly setting up a massive building to compete with them and driving them under. "I've never seen one so big!"

"Achoo!" the priestess sneezed again, this time transforming into... A giant slug. Well. Talk about never seeing such a big one before. "It's a rather special accommodation, dedicated to cleansing body and mind. We have sleeping spaces for guests, a gym to exercise the body, a hot spring to rejuvenate strength, a library and of course soundproofed halls where one can pray or meditate to your soul's sati-sati- achoo!" Human again. "Satisfaction."

"Huh!" Ataru said. "And here's me thinking the Principal would drag us to some dull historical site. For once he's done us all a massive favour." Ataru stopped at a certain noise, and frowned. "Lum, did you just throw lightning for some reason?"

"Wha...?" Lum asked, tearing her eyes away from Shinobu's butt. Which was something that felt like it should've raised some sort of alarm bell. "No, no. Not at all. That was the actual weather."

"In which case, I expect the Principal really is planning something screwy -" Ataru began, and then it began to rain in a rather thorough, determined manner. "- Or it's about to start raining!"

The students and present faculty rushed inside to escape from the rain, and my goodness but the outside didn't do the inside any justice. Sure, it looked big on the outside but the inside made it appear even bigger still. Stepping through that front door made it seem like they'd stepped into another world entirely, and believe that Ataru of all people knew exactly what that felt like.

Ah, and up ahead of them, standing on a raised platform at the back of the front hall, was the Principal himself. Dry as a bone. With Kotetsu Cat sitting at a weirdly placed kotetsu and sipping tea, as it always did. Man. Why did Ataru feel like he was forgetting something?

"Welcome to the shrine!" the Principal announced. "This is the priestess in charge of operations, the multi-talented Miss Scarlet. Say hello, Miss Scarlet!"

"Hello, everyone!" an octopus in robes waved its tentacles at them. "At our humble shrine there are only two rules: If you break something, you pay for it. Also, no perverted activity. Boys and girls are to be chaperoned or kept separate at all times."

"Any student caught breaking these rules," the Principal warned, "shall have their homework doubled upon each iteration." All eyes around fell upon Ataru in almost pity, but more of a 'haha, you are so dead' moment. Gee, thanks, guys! "The truth is, Miss Scarlet has not yet opened this shrine to the public. We are her very first guests."

"In other words, we're her guinea pigs for making sure everything works correctly," Mendo nodded sagely. Pft. As if that wasn't obvious already from what the Principle was saying. "Hmph! Under normal conditions, a Mendo would refuse to be a trial subject... However, if it is for a unique experience as testing a shrine such as this, it will be permitted on this occasion."

"How strange," the Principal said. "Those were the exact words your father wrote on your permission slip. Regardless: If the boys could please attend the rooms on the right while the girls attend the rooms on the left."

Ah, how frustrating! Under the threat of doubled homework... Would it be worthwhile to sneak a peek at the girls with those conditions? Ataru wanted to so very desperately, and yet... And yet! All he could do for the time being was sneak a glimpse across towards Lum as her hand snaked out to goose Shinobu, then when she turned around Lum was innocently looking up at the ceiling.

If one were to turn the top of Ataru's head invisible, they might see a bed with a hamster sleeping in it. A few seconds tick by, then an alarm next to the bed rings, awakening the hamster and prompting it to traipse reluctantly over towards a wheel, which it began running within. The wheel had a pair of wires connected to a light bulb, which began to flicker to life as the hamster ran until, at last, it dinged into full brilliance and, in the real world, Ataru facepalmed.

Right! The spell he'd cast on Lum! Oh boy, was his face red. He'd gotten so caught up in all this nonsense that he'd forgotten all about the other kind of nonsense he'd been dealing with already!

"Ugh!" he suddenly moaned, clutching at his stomach. "Bathroom! Where's the bathroom!" Mercifully, an ostrich wearing a priestess robe that was probably Miss Scarlet aimed its head in a particular direction and off he ran, desperate for a chance at a little bit of privacy. He couldn't slam that door closed fast enough!

Hehehe! Here it was. The scroll with that technique written on it. Now he could figure out what was up with Lum's behaviour, and maybe work out some way to control or undo it. Not because he was getting jealous or anything, just because it was really distracting the way that she kept hitting on all those other guys. Let's see now... The scroll said...

<i>Begin by placing a carrot on one side of the head of a sleeping victim, and a stick upon the other side. Speak the sacred words, pavlovius pervertus. From that moment, any time the victim denies behaving in a sexually perverse manner they shall feel great discomfort and any time they indulge they shall feel great pleasure.</i>

Right. That was about as far as he'd gotten before stopping. Anything about reversals? Or maybe something else he could use...?

<i>Further observations have been made regarding the effect: By concentrating on a single victim within their line of sight at a time, a spellcaster may make suggestions for perverted activities the victim may employ if they are not currently aware of or thinking of any to perform. Though the spell may be easily exorcised, even the most sensitively trained will have considerable difficulty in detecting it due to the subtle nature of the spell. In addition, it is theoretically possible to use the same carrot and stick to cast the spell on multiple targets simultaneously, provided all are asleep and all are directly between the carrot and the stick. If the spell is cast upon a person more than once, the effects will grow increasingly pronounced at an apparently exponential, limitless rate.</i>

So, it could be cancelled... Huh. How about that? Ataru sighed in resignation. Well, if worst came to worst he could maybe tell Miss Sakura that something's up with Lum, or maybe make her notice it without mentioning the scroll and she could possibly do something about it... But there were several other things in there that also caught his attention. Hrm. Casting it on multiple targets at once? But hell, how on earth was he supposed to cast it on multiple targets at once when he didn't even have a carrot, like, for example... Was that a giant field of carrots he could see through the bathroom window? And was it just his imagination or was that right outside where the girl's sleeping area was apparently going to be?

At that moment, Ataru Moroboshi had an idea. An evil idea. A wicked, horrible, perverted idea. Why, it made so much sense. He'd heard of hiding in a crowd. So. Why not hide Lum's behaviour the same way? Have all the girls hungering for the guys and acting like pervs just like she was, while he alone knew what was going on and could direct traffic to get the best of the best all to himself? Why not indeed? What could possibly go wrong...?

Meanwhile, the girls are noticing Lum's weird behaviour.
The next morning, the girls are all behaving weirdly.
Mendo knows something is up with Moroboshi, but decides to deal with him personally.
There's more to this shrine than meets the eye!
Something else