Would it be all that surprising to learn that not a single student was thinking about their lessons all morning anywhere in Furinkan High School? No? Not really? Well, it was still true whether you were surprised or not. The reasons varied very slightly across the student body. Akane was trying to figure out ways to seduce Ranma, while he was trying to work out how to get a more normal school experience after an introduction like that. Kuno’s thoughts were bouncing between denial and similar thoughts to Akane’s, while Nabiki was working through the various ways that she could profit from the situation.
As for everyone else? Slight variations on a similar theme. Akane Tendo has a boyfriend. The girl that vehemently denied any and all boys expressing interest in her to the point that the most athletic challenged her en masse to a fight for the right to date her every single morning had a boyfriend. Ranma Saotome was an enigma. A handsome enigma to be certain, but an enigma nonetheless. And they walked in arm in arm. Stunned? Better believe they were stunned! Nobody knew what to make of this development. What was so special about this guy that he was able to get her attention when nobody else could?
Hence, when lunch began there was an unspoken signal within their classroom to commence “Operation Separation,” which took advantage of the fact that Japanese classrooms typically have two doors on them. The boys surrounded Ranma, the girls surrounded Akane, and after that it was simply a case of herding them out through different doors.
“Huh?” Akane asked as she was herded out in a distinctly non-violent manner, negating quite effectively her self-defense instincts that could’ve easily let her escape this crowd. “What’s going on? Hey, what do you -”
“… You guys want something?” Ranma asked, being much more suspicious of the boys surrounding him.
“Oh, it’s nothing much!” Sayuri said to Akane. “We just wanted a chat, to catch up! We barely ever seem to talk anymore…”
“It’s only right that we show the new boy around!” Hiroshi said, giving Ranma a reassuring slap on the back. “It must be rough coming to a new school where you don’t know anyone. Well. Almost don’t know anyone. Say, how exactly did you and Akane Tendo meet up in the first place?”
Martial arts was great for many things. Improving athletic ability, providing the physical and mental capacity for self defense, improving mental discipline. But for all the wonders it could enact on mind and body, martial arts didn’t really have a whole lot to say about social affairs. It was a rare circumstance from which neither Ranma nor Akane were particularly well suited to escape, and so they would be compelled to spend their lunch apart surrounded by gossips desperate for answers.
<hr>
She was loving this. He could see that she was loving it, and she could see that he knew she was loving it. Kuno stopped himself there before the recursive nature of that line of thinking took hold entirely, and tried to concentrate on the task at hand: Extracting more information from the damned mercenary about that mysterious, muscular, handsome… Rival for whatshername’s affections. Kuno shook his head: Akane Tendo. Naturally! Of course! Who else could his affections possibly lie towards?
“Since we were so rudely interrupted before by the teacher,” Nabiki began, counting through the cash he had thrust into her arms. Kuno glowered at her. “What exactly was it that you wanted to know again?”
“I would have you tell me everything you can about this - “ and there he stopped himself before he finished the sentence with something like ‘Adonis’ or ‘handsome devil’ or ‘manliest man ever to walk the Earth’, instead (after whacking himself in the face with his bokken) finishing much more lamely with “Ranma Saotome.”
“Oh,” Nabiki said in a deliberately staged manner, feigning surprise so obviously she clearly intended for him to notice that she was toying with him. Telling him between the lines that there was nothing he could do to stop her doing so. “You mean Akane’s fiance? I don’t know much, unfortunately. We only met him yesterday.”
Yesterday? And already engaged? To Akane Tendo, who had effortlessly and violently spurned his every romantic gesture? How must this have transpired? An image flashed through Kuno’s mind. She is training in the dojo, her ferocious, untamable sexuality radiating from each movement she makes. Suddenly a voice from the door. “Hello!” the voice calls. It is a deep voice, but smoother than silk. “My name is Ranma Saotome. Our fathers are best friends. Enchante.”
Akane turns to face him, takes one look at his charming smile and melts. She drops her bokken and dashes towards him, completely spellbound by his effortless charm. Training forgotten, blue uwabe falling to the floor. All that matters is that his hands are running through Ranma’s hair, and - Kuno smacked himself three further times in the face with his bokken, putting an end to that dream before Akane’s features mutated further into his own.
“He’s been training in China recently,” Nabiki offered. “Other than that… I suggest you talk to him.”
<hr>
“How did you meet?” one girl asked. “Was it love at first sight?” asked another. “How long have you been dating? Is he why you haven’t been interested in any of the other boys?”
Akane looked around at all the faces surrounding her in mild shock and surprise. It was a funny thing. These were probably the most words she’d really exchanged with most of these girls and it was all curiosity about her new, ahem, boyfriend. Come to think: She shared basically no interests with any of them and now out of nowhere here they were peppering her with just… Too… Many… Questions!
“One at a time!” she yelled, and the nattering seemed to silence on that. Okay. Thank goodness. She could actually think. “It’s sort of complicated…” Akane began, then considered the fact that Nabiki also attended this school, which meant that any complicated lie would be discovered pretty quickly… “It’s… Our fathers have arranged for us to be married.” A high-pitched squeal filled the air, and Akane checked her ears to see if they were bleeding. She honestly pitied any dogs that caught that, and their owners were probably a little confused by the sudden barking fits. “H-Hey! Settle down! We’re not married yet or anything. I mean, we share a lot of interests so we figured we would try it out a little first before, you know…”
“Before you had sex.”
You know. Akane could actually feel herself turning red. Not just the colour of her skin either; it was sort of like her entire body just became the concept of redness in human form. “Um,” she helpfully offered. “N-No! W-why would you th-think something like that? I mean, it’s not like I want to rock his sun-hot world all night long or anything! Why would you ever suggest something like that?!”
“… I was kidding?” Sayuri said. “Oh gosh, you actually do want him that badly?!” Well! Let’s see. If she jumped a little bit first maybe she could punch the concrete beneath her feet hard enough that it would make a hole for her to crawl into. Her life was pretty much over anyway at this point. Better to cut her losses and - “Alright! Then we’re going to help you make it happen!”
“Say what now?”
“That’s right!” Yuka placed a reassuring hand on Akane’s shoulder. All the other girls were nodding along as well. “Trust us, and you’ll be knocking boots in no time flat. Then maybe the jocks will stop obsessing over you and give some of the rest of us a try.”
“… Isn’t that kind of shallow?”
“Ranma Saotome, naked, covered in chocolate from head to toe.”
The thought passed into her mind, accompanied by the question ‘Which one?’, which in turn was followed with ‘Here are both, have fun.’
“Yep, she’s off to her happy place. This girl’s got it <i>bad</i>. Come on, everyone, we’ve got some work to do!”
<hr>
“How did you meet?” one boy asked. “Have you kissed yet? How far have you gone? Come on, man! Enquiring minds have to know!”
Ranma looked around at all the boys from class surrounding him with inquisitive, eager eyes and responded the only sane way that he could under these circumstances. “Well, Akane and I met when -” and then he nonchalantly fell backwards out of the open second-storey window behind him, plummeting towards what must seem to them as his certain death. Hah! He’d show them something that’d take their minds off his “relationship” with Akane in a heartbeat! All he had to do was flip in midair to make sure he didn’t land awkwardly on anything and then -
“Phew, lucky thing!” he heard a boy call from above. “He’s gonna land in the pool!”
“A pool!” he yelled, tilting his head to behold the method of public humiliation he was heading directly towards. “Really! A swimming pool, of all things! Water! Why is it always water?!”
There really wasn’t much else for him to do except land in the pool with an almighty splash. The change hit, and he was left with no recourse but to break free of the pool and dash for cover, hoping he could dry off and get some hot water to change back before anyone noticed. Ugh! This was not the first impression he was hoping to make here!
“Say, did he seem kind of… smaller to anyone else just now?” he heard someone ask. Wonderful. Just what he wanted to hear.
“Stupid water,” Ranma groused, peeling off her soaked trousers while perched in a tree. “Stupid Akane and her stupid idea. Oh yes, let’s go along with the engagement! What a wonderful plan! Nothing could go wrong, right? Might as well just sit out the rest of lunch right here, then skip the afternoon. The last thing I need is to make this dumb situation more complicated.”
“Ahem!” said the all-too-familiar voice of Nabiki Tendo, who was leaning against the tree smiling like a lunatic right next to a wide-eyed bokken-wielding idiot. Looked like he was doing his very best statue impersonation. “Kuno-baby had a few questions for you, Ranma! But it looks like they’ll have to wait until his brain has finished rebooting.”
- Meanwhile, inside Kuno’s head a war is being waged.
- Akane begins training for Operation Get Laid with her impromptu teachers.
- Akane escapes from her teachers when the lessons prove quite embarrassing.
- The boys went after Ranma to continue asking some questions, and discover the curse.
- Something else
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