Story: It's Fate

“WHAT IN THE DUCK?! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL TURKISH DELIGHT IS THIS?!”

After an exclarmation like that, could anyone blame Chise and Koemi for staring at each other in utter bafflement? Their thought processes travelled rails so similar, it’s a miracle there wasn’t a collision. The route began at “Turkish delight?” station, made a quick stop in “that came from outside,” moved on towards scenic “from the direction the gun fired off into,” rolled straight by “and didn’t that sort of sound like Yoko?” before terminating in “Crap! Crap! Crap!”

Koemi was first out the door by dint of being 1: The more athletically inclined of the pair, and 2: Not smuggling watermelons in her blouse. One of the scarce situations in which large breasts are never really welcome is any kind of family-friendly athletic event. Speaking of family-friendly dichotomies, Yoko was still yelling… Obscenities? I guess? She was still yelling nonsense by the time Koemi’s footsteps crawled to a halt at the sight of her as she felt the mire of fear creeping up along her ankles and certainly still yelling by the time a breathless Chise grabbed both girls by the arm and pushed them inside the front door.

“What the truck happened?!” Yoko demanded, the most coherent thing she had said in two minutes of non-stop yelling. Neither Chise or Koemi had seen her take a breath. “Would someone care to explain why it looks like I taped volleyballs to my torso? WELL?!”

“Actually, I’m rather curious about why you were lurking around outside my house,” Chise said, inspecting her nails. Which weren’t manicured or anything, but the pose gave the general impression that she was aiming for. “I mean, if you were heading for the front door, you certainly took the scenic route.”

"I hate it when my mom takes the scenic route. Far too many curves in the road," Koemi offered. The room fell silent, save for the sound of Chise’s forehead saying hello to her palm. Yoko twitched. Koemi stepped back. Yoko advanced on her. Koemi ran out of places to retreat, as she’d been in too much of a shock to realise that she was standing with her back to the wall with Yoko in between her and the door out of the room. Sort of akin to locking oneself in a cage with a lion, slathering yourself with gravy and then dropping a billiard ball on the lion’s foot.

“Care to repeat that, stupid stitch?” Yoko said. It was almost a funny sight, really. Her face was fury but her chest was bouncy. “I think I might have misheard you. If not, I might have to kick your sass all the way to the moon.”

“Oh no, please don’t mind me!” Koemi waved her hands around frantically, desperate to appease the angered beast advancing on her. “You know how I am. Silly Koemi, always making a great big boob out of herself. Why, I bet you were just here to keep abreast of how I planned to seduce Eito, right?”

Damn traitorous tongue! Why now of all times did her sense of humour have to lead her into stupid pointless babbling? Didn’t her brain realise that her life was on the line here? At this point she could practically feel Yoko’s breath coming out of her nostrils, like a bull ready to charge. Or a spring about to - Then the tension released and Yoko tackled Koemi into the wall, gripping her shoulders and then -
<hr>
It was getting rather difficult to tell exactly when this situation took a turn for the ridiculous. Was it when she’d invented a breast-enlarging gun? Was it Eito’s weird behaviour recently? Or maybe some other vector she wasn’t yet aware of? Whatever the case, Chise would have loved - LOVED - to see the mathematical proof that led to the incontrovertable fact of what she was seeing just now.

“You like it, don’t you, glitch?” the psychopath that Chise had dragged into her home without really thinking about it yelled at her friend, who was being smothered by said psychopath’s enhanced bosom. “You like talking about my chest? Well, have as much as you can handle!”

Oh dear, it looked like Koemi had stopped struggling. This was no time to be left marvelling at the chaotic mannerisms capable within the universe; her friend could well suffer brain damage as a result of suffocation. By breasts. Which were enhanced by way of a sleepwalking aspiring mad scientist’s accidentally discharging invention. Like hell was she filling out the paperwork that would entail!

“Alright, that’s quite enough,” Chise said, injecting a mood stabiliser into the psychopath’s neck and catching Koemi when she slid right out of her suddenly relaxing adversary’s grip. Chise stabilised her friend and looked her in the eye, holding up three fingers in front of her face. “Koemi. You still with us? How many fingers am I holding up?”

In response, Koemi chuckled from deep within her lungs, held up both hands and made a groping motion. At first Chise thought she was perfectly fine because, hey, that’s just the kind of joke she <i>would</i> make, but that line of thought was dispelled when Koemi collapsed to the side. Pulling the damned enlargement gun off the table as she fell. And it then hit a mirror which reflected the blast directly into Yoko, who was now pretty much naked from the waist up. It had been a valiant effort, but her blouse was completely insufficient to the task set for it. There are limits to bravery, after all, if one does not bear the skill necessary to overcome the trials.

Chise waited for the string of nonsense to set fly, for the mood stabiliser to fail in the face of Yoko’s refreshed rage. No such event transpired. Instead she looked down at her naked chest and began to laugh.

“So, this is why yours were so big this morning!” Yoko said. The psychopathic lilt in her voice wasn’t there right now, but that didn’t mean that Chise was dropping her guard. Not for a second. “No doubt you were planning on making yours even bigger to seduce dear Eito, isn’t that right?”

Eito? “Pardon me,” Chise adjusted the glasses on her nose. “I don’t see what Eito has to do with this?”

“Oh, don’t you?” Yoko said, and there it was. Psychopath mode, except all playful instead of vengeful. Competition mode. Was she seeing their new bust sizes as some sort of contest now? Ugh! Why did it have to be Yoko?! Anyone else, she might be able to get them to help her out. Figure out how the gun worked, how to reverse it. Applications for future technology that was actually, you know, <b>useful for society</b> and not just for titillation. “What was it you were saying earlier? ‘If we are going to work out what is up with that boy, we absolutely have to compare notes.’ Now, whatever did you mean by that, I wonder?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your -”

“Not going to talk?” Yoko tutted. “Shame. Maybe I’ll just ask Eito instead. That boy will be putty in my hands. He’ll spill his guts! Oh, don’t look at me like that, I know my reputation. It was a metaphor. Still! I can’t help but relish the irony! Your feeble attempt to cheat has backfired superbly! I’ll win again, just like always! And there is nothing you can do to stop me!”

Cue maniacal laughter while striding out the front door. Chise sighed, picked up a piece of paper, and wrote a big eight on it. Two points off because the still exposed breasts rather limited the effect.

“You know…” Koemi said from her position on the floor. “She won’t be able to swim like that. Those breasts will completely destroy her ability to move in the water…”

“Interesting little paradox, isn’t it?” Chise replied, amused that her friend had noticed that already. “On the one hand, they’ll be great floatation devices. On the other, moving quickly through the water will be completely impossible. They’ll create massive resistance against the water, preventing her from moving forward effectively. It’ll be interesting to see how much drag they create, especially at <i>that</i> size. I’m amazed she was able to walk! Anyway, we need to call Eito and warn him about an unexpected guest.”

“Oh, sure!” Koemi said. “We’ll just tell Eito, who has been behaving oddly recently and drawing the attention of attractive girls somehow that a half-naked girl with gazongas the size of her head including the hair is on her way to meet with him. It might just give him time to light a few candles to create the proper mood for her arrival.”

The image of Eito lounging around his bedroom in a bathrobe, carrying a bottle of wine leaped unbidden into Chise’s mind. It was a very good thing that she didn’t take it any further, as she feared she might never get anything else done again from laughing.

“Ahem!” said an all too familiar voice, peeking in through the door. “Sorry to bother you, but… I appear to be naked from the waist up. The least you could do is give me some clothes!”

<hr>
If you listened really, really closely then you would hear the sound of a busty, quiet young girl being extremely disappointed in herself. She’d tried to walk up to the door and ring the bell. Or knock on the door. Every time she was just about to do it, her body froze as terrible doubt crept into her mind. Was this really the right course of action? What if he said no thanks, I have a cute girlfriend now, if you’d been here ten minutes ago maybe I’d have dated you instead?

That was the worst part of it all. She could so easily imagine that sort of thing happening, and quite tragically often people would rather let a dream stay a dream than take a chance to see it become reality. The possibility that they could ruin it for themselves forever utterly cripples many people’s ability to take what could be no real risk at all.

It didn’t take long for Koken to identify Eito’s room. Amazing how useful a collapsable periscope can be for the girl with a crush she didn’t know how to express. Let’s see... ah! That girl was in his room! Spikes of jealousy got her to make a cute little “Hmph” noise. She was taking off her clothes! How bold! She was rifling through his cupboard, and… Planting little spy cameras in out of the way places! Was this… Was this a romantic rival?

“Nice place you have here,” Koken heard from an open window. “However, I predict that you will shortly find it overrun by chickens which have tragically caught fire. This will occur in the near future.”

“Please, no predictions?” Eito requested, and Koken felt her heart skip a beat. If her cat wasn’t pressing up against the periscope, pinning it against her body, then she would have dropped it immediately. “The last thing I need is to expect something weird like that.”

“I think she meant hot chicks,” said a different girl’s voice. “In which case, one of her predictions is coming true for once!”

Koken peered through the window. There he was. Two girls. Living room. They were talking so casually and easily, making jokes and… Flirting, she thought? Koken tilted her head and examined the sight in front of her. From what she could see and hear it was obvious that the two girls were controlling the conversation, and that Eito was trying not to get involved. And he was failing completely. They were somehow forcing him to converse with them without seeming nasty or mean or scary. Was tone of voice that important? Or… Maybe it was something else?

Body language. Koken swallowed. If it was body language, then maybe… Maybe she could hold a conversation with him by way of body language.

“Ah!” Eito gasped. “Is that the time?! Um… Sorry about this, but I need to do something a little weird. Please just bear with me a moment.”

1. Eito heads outside and invites Koken in with him.
2. Eito heads up to his room and yells something through the door.
3. Eito pours ten glasses of milk and puts out snacks as though he is expecting more guests.
4. Eito makes a phone call.
5. Something else