Well, here's the next Tainted Cube. Wound up spending a long time on setup over the actual change caused by Usagi, but it does get there eventually. I hope this inspires discussion for what could happen to Tsukune, now that people know what sort of desires Keitaro has.
After encountering Sailor Mercury, Usagi realised that there are probably others like her as well. Deep within her heart she ached to meet them. To meet other magical girls like Sailor Mercury that could help her combat evil wherever it may lurk. After all, the life of a hero is a lonely one. All she had to talk to about it was the peculiar cat with a crescent moon on its forehead. If she fell short, then how many lives must be lost? A terrible burden to bear for one alone. Could it be any wonder that she desired allies? Could it be any wonder that this desire was deeply felt enough for the cube to react?
Of course, she would have met others in the fullness of time whatever else happened. Cube or no, that remained a constant… Not that the cube would have acted upon that particular desire to change her world anyway. Instead, the desire drifted on to change another world. A world in which magic did exist, but was only really known about by a minority of people. While this minority just so happened to be a rather large population, it is best to keep perspective. As Haruhi Suzumiya once realised, you can have a <i>lot</i> of people standing around in a single place and it doesn’t even dent a percent of the world’s overall population.
But yes, this magical population did try to keep its secrets safe from the rest of the world. There were numerous reasons for this, some obvious and benevolent, others a little more selfish, but it seemed to work out for the best.
And if there was magic, then why not magical girls?
And if there were magical girls… Then surely there must be an evil to be fought as well?
Across Japan in four separate directions, each a different perpendicular compass point away from Hinata House, ominous glows of electromagnetic energy far outside the human eye’s ability to detect flared into existence. The magical world went into a confused flurry of activity attempting to identify it… But the only conclusion any of them could come to was an ominous portent.
Something had woken up. Something hungry. No. Something <i>ravenous.</i>
<hr>
Keitaro Urashima was cleaning the floor. It was exhausting work, and it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do it. Wouldn’t be the last either. It was all part of his responsibilities as the brand new manager of this place. He could already feel the difference, could already feel the muscles forming from the strenuous work. Running up and down the corridors like this to make everything all sparkling clean? Oh yes, it would pay off before long.
It was funny, really. The girls had sent him here to keep him out of the way while they talked about him behind his back. The truth about him being a two-time failure at entering Tokyo University had come out, and now they were talking about how happy they really were to have him as their manager. A futile gesture, really. Due to his absorption of the mysterious cube into his body, and the desires of some inter-dimensional person he’d never met, Keitaro had acquired the ability to sense absolutely everything going on within this building. Even though he was on the ground floor while they gathered upstairs, he could hear them and see them just as clearly as if he were in the room with them.
Motoko was the most vehemently against his remaining. Quite one thing for a responsible, intelligent, hard-working man to be the manager. But some clumsy dork that lied to them about his failures? Who knows what else he’s lying about? Oh yes, she was quite aware there was a peculiarity about him. But, well, she hadn’t the faintest clue what that something was. That was fine.
Naru would’ve been right on Motoko’s side, if not for the earlier conversation. She was dithering quite a bit, and Mitsune knew her friend well enough to pick up on her odd behaviour. Never one to let a good opportunity to tease someone showing some soft underside go to waste, she took the shot:
“Looks like someone has a bit of a crush! My, my, Naru! It’s not like you to give your heart away so easily!”
“It’s not like that! I- I mean, if Granny Hina thinks he can handle things, we should at least give him a shot. Right? And - And if he did try anything, Haruka would sort him out in a flash! She’s not the sort to play favourites with relatives, now is she?”
And on the discussion went. It was amazing how fast he was adapting to this, under the tutelage of the “other him”. Just yesterday this sort of thing would’ve given him the kind of headaches that birthed heroic legends: Gather round ye children to hear the brave tale of Andy the Aspirin, and his triumphant quest to ease the suffering of a freshly semi-omnipotent idiot by vanquishing the dreaded dragon of disarray!
It was like he was the director of a movie, able to pick and choose the perspectives he viewed it from. What was Shinobu looking at? How about Su? Overhead shot? From the door? Other side of the room? With a little more effort he’d be able to determine even more impressive tricks, like determining the exact location and speed of all atoms in the building at once.
<i>Eat it, Heisenberg.</i>
Yeah, that was another thing he’d picked up on. When he tried sitting down to do revision in his room, he’d just known the answers. The whole thing was pointless, really. He could ace any exam simply by leaving his books at home. Or if Naru happened to do the same. It was cheating of a metaphysical order, but it wasn’t exactly something he could easily prevent. Eh. Once he and Naru had graduated from Tokyo U, he’d probably wind up running this place or something. After the wedding. Obviously. This cube thing was a blessing in every way that seemed to matter, and -
Something had changed.
Keitaro tripped up and found himself flipping onto his back. Ouch! Dammit! Ooh! That was one thing he’d have to learn to watch out for. Now he was both supernaturally and naturally aware of the pain of stumbling onto his back, and… Well, let’s just say it wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience. But forget the pain! Forget the hyper awareness of the injury to your own back, you completely clumsy idiot, and focus on what changed. It was the cube again. It had changed him, and -
“Huh? That doesn’t make any sense at all! Well, I guess that sort of ability isn’t likely to be nearly as useful as this other thing…” With a hearty chuckle, Keitaro rubbed his back and got down on the floor to scrub, scrub, scrub. Honestly, to be able to do that sort of thing… It hardly seemed like an ability he’d ever put to the remotest bit of use. Something like that would only serve to complicate a situation he’d really prefer to keep simple.
<hr>
“Well, that much is obvious already!” Mitsune said, damn her teasing nature. “After all, if Granny Hina wants him in charge there’s not an awful lot we can really do about it. Hun, I think you and Motoko are missing the point a little bit, don’t you?”
“Um…” Shinobu’s tiny voice interrupted. Look at her, did she have any idea how utterly adorable she looked raising her hand like that? Did she think they were in a classroom or something? “So… What is the point? I- I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”
“I must admit, I am also curious about your meaning,” Motoko said. She sipped at some tea, her eyes closed, but Naru could feel the coldness in her voice in spite of her very carefully controlled tone. “Even if he is the relative of Granny Hina, he quite clearly deceived us in an attempt to manipulate us into accepting him. With his flimsy lie uncovered, revealing him for the deceitful beast he no doubt truly is, it would be sensible to remove him from the premises as rapidly as possible.”
“And that kind of is the point, isn’t it? We can hardly kick him out given that he’s legally the manager! He has the paperwork, signed and dated and everything. Of course, it would be an entirely different matter if we had proof of his inappropriate behaviour, but I think it might be more fun - I mean, safer for everyone if we all tried something a little bit different.”
“Different how?” Naru asked, her eyes narrowing in mild concern. In her honest opinion, this Keitaro boy didn’t seem all that bad. A little clumsy… Er… A lot clumsy, maybe, but he seemed well meaning enough. He really didn’t have anywhere else to go if he left here, and he very obviously wanted to work hard at getting into Tokyo U. If that story about a promised girl was right, then… Well, he surely deserved a chance. Right?
“I like Keitaro! He’s funny!” Su chirped, fiddling with some sort of… Where did she get her hands on a Chinese finger puzzle? Had she been playing with that all this time? “He got me this neat gift! Grr! I will defeat you yet, for you are just a paper tube while I am a super genius! It is but a matter of time!”
That girl would be adorable if she wasn’t so terrifying. But back to the point for the time being. “What exactly are you suggesting?” Naru asked, genuinely wondering just what her friend had in mind.
“Kekeke, think about it for a moment! We might not be able to kick him out, but there’s nothing stopping him from leaving. Right? If we really want him to leave, all we have to do is make life so hard - I mean, difficult for him that he really doesn’t have any choice at all!
“But that’s assuming we want him to leave in the first place!”
Mitsune chuckled, sipped at what was probably not actually the can of soda it looked like, and reclined triumphantly on the couch while the other girls (save Su, who was rolling around and wrestling with the finger puzzle… one end of which had somehow gotten stuck onto her nose) stared at her in mildly confused silence.
“I do not understand,” Motoko finally said, taking very deep breaths as she spoke. “Why should we wish for a man to remain here as manager? Such a thing is most improper!”
“Tut tut tut! But that’s the very point, right? That boy has nowhere else to go if he wants to follow his dreams. Sure, it’ll be a bit weird - and we’ll have to arrange for things like separate bathing facilities for him - but think of the benefits! He’ll be walking on eggshells the entire time he’s here! We could get him to do just about anything, and a boy that naive would just accept it if we gave him a wink and a smile, and maybe a little of Shinobu’s home cooking. Besides which, Motoko. If he really did try anything, you’d probably have his balls hanging from the front door by dawn the next day.”
“And who is to say that he is that naive?!” Motoko yelled, impatience finally breaking through her attempted self control. “He deceived us about being a student at a prestigious university! Who knows what else he has lied about? What do we really know about him? How can we trust any man to be our manager, when he so freely lied to us?!”
Naru sighed and began to count off on her fingers. “We know he’s Hina’s grandson. Haruka confirmed that for us already. We know he’s taking over as manager from a fax with Granny Hina’s signature on it. I know he really is trying for Tokyo University, because I checked into that after we figured out he was lying about being a student. And everything else is just speculation based on his behaviour and stuff we only have his word for. Not bad for only meeting him the other day, wouldn’t you think? Who knows what we’ll know a week from now? Maybe he is a pervert, or maybe he’s just some clumsy, unlucky idiot. Now, I don’t much care for having some guy as a manager either, but we don’t always get what we want. The best thing to do is learn how to cope with him being around, and if he does turn out to be a nuisance, then we kick him out!”
“Interesting,” Motoko said, narrowing her eyes at Naru for a moment before turning around and stalking out of the room. “It pains me to say this, but Mitsune is correct.” The kendoist turned her head around with a faint scowl so that she peered over her shoulder, and said “For whatever reason, you appear to be attracted to this… man.”
The other girls filed out of the room continuing on with their own business while Naru stood dumbfounded in the middle of them all until she was left alone with Su, still wrestling with the finger trap.
Her? Attracted to Keitaro? Pft. Hardly. Sure, that yarn about a promised girl and meeting her at Tokyo University was a pretty romantic story, and he had told it with such conviction that for a moment, she’d sort of kind of wished she <i>was</i> the promised girl. And sure, she’d had dreams all night about what would happen if that were true. Him and her, neither taller than knee height, playing games of tag and building sandcastles and - And it wasn’t remotely possible given the timeframe. She was two years younger than he was. She wouldn’t have been old enough when he made the promise. Even so… The second half of that dream last night, with the two of them walking into Tokyo University, arm in arm. Touring the campus. Having picnic lunches. Revising together. Coming home together… And then they would depart to the same room, away from all the others… and then… and then…
“Reinforcements!” Su gasped, each of her fingers now enclosed within one end of five tubes attaching her hands together. “You cunning devils! I’ll have you roasted by sunrise!”
The spell was broken, and Naru felt kind of disappointed with herself. To so easily fall for such a cheap line! Motoko’s question came back to her: How much did she really know about this guy? Not much, right? So why was she feeling like this around him all of a sudden? Alright. Not much else for it, then. Naru stormed out of the room, and marched over to where they’d told Keitaro to get to cleaning. She would make it clear to him, once and for all, that he was on a razor’s edge. If he tried anything with any of them, he’d be given a butt whooping the likes of which would leave future archaeologists puzzled and debating over the aftereffects for centuries to come. The second he was caught trying anything, they would… they would…
Sweat dripping from every limb, all four of which pumped furiously across the wooden floor. A grim determination stood upon his brow, a laser-like focus on a face that was surprisingly handsome behind the glasses. Sure, her own vision wasn’t exactly great most of the time… But right now with her contacts in she could see every detail. His figure was not particularly impressive, at least in a muscular sense, yet something about him… Something about him kept distracting her thoughts and making her feel -
“Wet floor, mind your step!” Keitaro said, smiling up at her. The spell was broken and Naru could think again. “Is there anything else I can help with?” the boy asked. Naru shook her head and slowly backed away, giving herself a little distance so she could admonish herself properly for so easily becoming attracted to this complete stranger, this - this - romantic dreamer… What the hell was wrong with her?!
<hr>
For the first time since he had acquired these powers, Keitaro took a deep breath and a single step forward… And very nearly stumbled on the first step, as he lost a tremendous amount of self awareness. No longer did he need to concentrate on ignoring the basic biological functions of his own body. Now he could merely pointedly ignore the same for everything else within the house. Now he was back to what had been formerly a usual sense of self, with the usual senses tied to his own body. He could no longer instantly recall any single event of his own past at a whim. Nor, in point of fact, could he do the same for some of the girls. Most of them had left at some point over the course of the morning already while others were still preparing to depart. It was strange being disconnected from the place, to feel the distance from it while not being inside it himself… The effect was powerful. He knew exactly what was going on within the grounds while not being on them, and the feeling lingered as he stood on the train and walked towards his tutor school. Then ran towards his tutor school when he realised he was going to be just a little bit late.
He dashed through the doors, knowing that he was bound to be late for the prep test at this point and immediately crashed into someone. Yeah. It was amazing, really. Just a day or two of complete spatial awareness, and here he was having to relearn absolutely everything about how to move in the real world.
“I’m sorry!” he said. “I didn’t-”
Naru. It was Naru, without question. Sure, she looked almost completely unrecognisable, but that didn’t even slow down his big brain. Of course it was. He remembered among the many pieces of information about his promised girl, one fact was that she attended this particular school as well. The great big thick glasses may have a completely transformative effect upon her, but by now Keitaro would recognise her anywhere. It was almost like an unconscious trick he’d played on himself. He had forgotten the face of his promised girl once before. Never again.
Before he could speak a single word she blushed and ran away at full speed, leaving Keitaro sighing in mild annoyance. She had left before him in the morning, while he was still asleep. Which meant they hadn’t had the chance to, you know, talk. He knew she was avoiding him because she was noticing her growing attraction towards him and didn’t want to have to deal with it, but… Still.
“Oh, Keitaro!” a familiar voice said from behind him. “Late again for the prep exam?” Haitani said, tousling Keitaro’s hair. Irritating gesture of affection, but whatever.
“If this keeps up it will be a real problem for you!” Shirai chuckled.
“Shaddup, guys! Things have been rough on me recently.”
“I’m sure they have,” Haitani said, pulling out a large sheaf of paper with many, many names and numbers inscribed upon it. “Including the release of the last test results. You’re not doing so great. Here’s your name.”
“And you want to go into Tokyo University with grades like that?” Shirai chuckled. “Come on, time to be a little more realistic, don’t you think?”
Realistic? Ha! What did they know about reality? Recently he’d learned that he had the power to completely by accident twist and change the nature of whole other worlds, just as they could in turn change his. Reality indeed. Speak not to Keitaro Urashima of reality! So after much wrestling with his conscience, he’d decided to give a try to leaving some revision notes behind in his room. Just to see how this worked out. In a metaphysical sense it was cheating of the highest order, bringing some notes into the exam with him for reference… But in a very real sense, it was “testing what he knows” and what he <i>knows</i> is anything left within Hinata House. Besides which. Gathering up every single bit of loose paper or book with something pertaining to what might be on an exam and removing them from the grounds was hardly practical, hardly useful and likely to raise a couple of eyebrows if he was going to do it every time he had an exam. Never mind how time consuming it would be. And whatever career he ultimately did wind up doing, he’d probably have important notes stored away on the grounds somewhere. Stuff he absolutely had to know about. It would be kind of stupid not to make use of this new talent…
But at the same time, it would be completely moronic to depend upon it entirely. If one of the others had a desire that stripped him of this power, he could very well wind up being screwed over. Which is why he would have to make periodic attempts to do without. Somehow.
“So, what sort of rough time have you been having lately?” Shirai asked.
“Last I heard, you’d been kicked out of your parents place,” Haitani said. “Find somewhere else to live?”
“Yeah, I went to live with my grandmother. You know, the one with the inn?”
“That’s good!”
“Turned out she’d turned it into a girl’s dorm and gone on a trip around the world.”
“That’s bad.”
“But she sent along a fax making me the manager of the place, meaning I can stay in the manager’s room.”
“That’s good, you complete bastard.”
“Unfortunately, they’ve been working me very hard for the last couple of days. I’ve barely had any time to rest, and my muscles are killing me!”
He was greeted with a pair of very solemn eyes after saying that, without a single syllable uttered by either of them.
“That’s bad,” Keitaro offered.
“Are you sure?” Shirai insisted. “Are you <i>really</i> sure?”
“Doesn’t sound so bad to me either,” Haitani said, slapping Keitaro on the back a little harder than he probably should have. “So, mister manager! Why don’t you tell us all about these girls that are ‘working you very hard’?”
“Yes, yes! And why don’t you further illuminate us on how it alters your hunt for that promised girl you’re always on about? Have you strayed from the path of a childhood promise?”
“Never! No way! It’s not like that at all!” Keitaro took a deep breath. He needed to talk to them about this. It was just too much to keep this all to himself. The best piece of news he could have ever received, the most wonderful and exciting discovery after so many years of not knowing. Being unable to tell anyone was a torture the likes of which he could no longer bear. “Besides, I think one of them might actually <b>be</b> the promised girl!”
“You’re kidding!” Haitani whistled. “That doesn’t seem much like your kind of luck at all, but if so… Well done! How certain are you? How pretty is she? What’s her name?”
“Very, very, and I don’t think she remembers the promise herself, but her name… is…”
Naru. All the blood seemed to drain away from his face upon the realisation of just who was sitting there, a little in front of them, looking back in an almost casual glimpse in their general direction. Keitaro immediately averted his gaze, perhaps a little too quickly. Ugh! Had she overheard all of that? How much? What did she make of it? Oh, <i>god</i>, why did this have to happen here? Why not at the house? Well, the answer to that was kind of obvious, really. If he did that at the house, it would be to surreptitiously tell her the truth, and he’d do it in such a way that she’d find it interesting and compelling, and… Ugh! What did she think of whatever she’d overheard? What should he do now? He needed to talk to her, try to figure things out a little, try to regain control over the situation!
“I… I don’t think I should tell you until… until we’re completely sure,” he said lamely. “I mean, if I tell you guys and you come around for a visit, you’ll behave all weird around her, and it might scare her off. If you don’t know who it is -”
“We’ll just act weird around all your housemates, then!” Shirai said. “Come on, you can tell us. Together, we three can ensure you end up with your childhood sweetheart!”
“N-No! It’s alright! I mean… This is something I’d rather sort out myself. Can we just… focus on the exam for now? I’d like to get on with it.”
His two friends shrugged and the trio discussed a few points on the likely questions to come up on their exams, but Keitaro wasn’t particularly paying attention. His gaze kept on catching sight of Naru, glancing in his own direction periodically. What on earth must she be thinking of him right now? That’s the problem with location-specific omniscience. Once you’re outside of it, you become so… completely… Helpless!
Time passed, and everyone filed into place for their first test. As if to taunt him, Keitaro noticed that he was seated right next to Naru… and she was still pointedly ignoring him. Or pretending to, given the way he kept catching sight of her looking in his direction out of the corner of her eye. It was so infuriating! Ugh! Well! If nothing else, he could take solace in the fact that this test, this test he would not, could not fail!
<hr>
Elsewhere, there was a rather tall, skinny woman staring at a window. She was wearing a veil and a tattered black dress that had seen better days by any measure. Her limbs were long and spindly, her face - what little of it could be seen through the veil - was covered in warts and unhealthy lumps, and moles with hairs growing out of them. Her teeth were as crooked as a politician’s handshake, her nose narrow, her eyes small and beady and so full of <i>hate</i>. She had the same curves as a ruler and the same sex appeal as a stump. This may seem a cruel set of comparisons to make, but do not take my own word for it. They were the very same thoughts travelling through her mind. She embodied ugliness, in her own estimation. And it wasn’t fair that she had to suffer it.
A pair of giggly women strode past her, shooting her a look of contempt and disgust. Look at them. Look at their perfect skin, curvaceous forms, pretty faces and perfect hair. Look at them. After all, everyone else would want to. Why wouldn’t they? Those girls were pretty. Those girls were beautiful. Those girls were sexy.
With a snarl that surely had to have emerged from the very depth of hell itself, this strange woman strode forward and grabbed both women by the arm. All three froze. All three began to change.
<hr>
Right about now, Keitaro was just a little bit on the antsy side. Here he was, ready to go home after a long day of testing and examination, and, well, here he was. Remaining behind at school because the last teacher of the day had requested him to do so. Naru must have left by now. Well on her way home. It would take her the better part of an hour to get there, and he’d been asked to stay behind. Why would they even do that? It didn’t make any sense to him, so -
“You’re probably wondering why we’ve asked you to remain behind, Mr Urashima,” the youngest of the teachers said, hands steepled atop the desk. His stare looked like it was trying so very hard to bore into his soul, and Keitaro watched with interest as three of his other teachers entered the room as well. What was this? What was going on here?
“You probably don’t know this, but I tend to make a start on the tests as soon as the exam is completed. I prefer to get them done as quickly and accurately as possible. One of the first of the day was yours, and imagine my delight to see you do so well. A student that had done so poorly beforehand suddenly excels! Unfortunately… When that same student performs even better than the number one in the school for the previous tests, one tends to get a little suspicious. Much though I may wish to believe that somehow, you transformed over the course of a week into a full-on genius, school policy requires that any suspicious scoring be investigated immediately.
“For that reason, I asked the teachers for your other classes if they would mind taking a look at your results earlier than they might normally, and I also asked the matriculators to keep a special eye on you. Merely a precaution to cover ourselves, not any sort of accusation on your part, Mr Urashima. None of our staff detected anything anomalous save the final results themselves as compared to your previous efforts.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” Keitaro said. “If that’s the case, then why am I here?”
The teacher smiled, and said “Has there been any change in your circumstances in the last week?”
“Huh?” Keitaro replied. “Well… To be honest, my parents did kick me out, and I moved into my grandmother’s place. She runs this little place, and, uh, I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand the rele-”
And then it hit him. The question had been asked in Mandarin. They were testing his knowledge.
The teachers all looked at each other a little nervously, and then his English teacher asked (in English) “Has living with your grandmother resulted in your study habits undergoing any sort of significant improvement? If so, could you please share them?”
“Uh… Well, to be honest, she sort of made me the manager of the dorm she owns… And one of the people that lives there is this girl called Naru Narusegawa.”
“I see. That may well answer our questions,” his Mandarin teacher said. “And I don’t think it would really be necessary to have you answer a maths or history question, given how fluently you responded to those two… We apologise for keeping you here so late, Mister Urashima, but school policy did dictate that we had to have evidence to cover ourselves in the case of anomalous gradings. Keep up your revision with Miss Narusegawa, and best of luck in your future examinations. Keep up the good work, and you might just manage Tokyo University after all.”
With a tremendous sigh, Keitaro rose to his feet and left the building. Stupid. What else should he have expected? It’s not like he’d had anywhere near the results he’d have gotten today. Of course people would be suspicious of him. Still, they did seem to accept that Naru was somehow helping him focus. Which wasn’t really true at all. They’d leaped to that conclusion all on their own; he hadn’t actually lied to them or anything. Even so, he had misled them because the truth was so unbelievable.
Lying and cheating, huh? It’s funny, really. Everyone thinks they are a person of moral fiber, and yet when the chips are down look at what they do. Keitaro staggered out of the building feeling utterly drained of emotional strength. It was time to head home. Maybe once he was back home, he could really analyse what sort of person he was becoming. One of the key benefits of being Hinatascient was the capacity for self analysis far beyond what should be possible… But even so, he didn’t feel certain he could even look himself in a mirror right about now.
<hr>
While Hinata’s new manager was engaged in a guilt trip, one of its first tenants was engaged in a shopping trip. Oh yes! Mitsune had quite the easy life, just the way she liked it. On this particular day she had nothing to do and so had gone out to engage in some harmless activities, like betting on horses and picking up enough booze to placate a stampeding elephant. Overall a fun and productive day. She won some money, lost some money, and spent a fair bit as well. Though less than she might have, given how the young cashier had a weakness for cleavage.
So here she was, happily strolling down the street towards the train station. She could hardly miss it. Just take the next right, and it would be a little in front of her, and -
And…
And even though her eyes would often have the appearance of being closed, Mitsune was typically very much aware of her surroundings at all times. Except that for some reason (doubtless related in some capacity to a reality-twisting multi-dimensional cuboid) she just sort of… blacked out for a moment there. What should have been a right turn became a straight ahead keep walking for about half an hour before realising something was wrong.
“Huh?” Mitsune said, finally coming to a stop to scratch her head in confusion. “I don’t recognise this street. How did I wind up here? Where <i>is</i> here? Ugh… My arms are starting to get tired!”
There was little else for it but to turn around and head right back where she came from. Surely if she went this way - Wait, no, that wasn’t right - This way? Come on, there had to be some sort of landmark she could pick out! How could she get so stupidly lost! There had to be something she could recognise!
Or someone.
Say, for example, a rather mopey manager that by the expression on his face and the clumsy distracted walk looked like he’d been given the choice between swallowing his own feet or learn how to juggle possums in a minefield. A sly, sly grin crept upon the sneaky girl’s face. There was good reason for her nickname, and it wasn’t just a byproduct of her names being combined together. For all intents and purposes, anyone that looked upon her face might just have caught a glimpse of every trickster god from every religion that ever had one converge for a meeting upon her cunning lips. Let’s see. Tousle her hair a little, adjust the blouse, prepare the right tone of voice… Get the stagger down… Perfect.
At which point she appeared to drunkenly - but quickly - stagger over towards Urashima, grip him by the arm, nuzzle against his shoulder and say “Hey, mister manager!” in the most deliberately drunken tone of voice she could muster. “What’s a guy like yo~ou doing out on a night like this all by yourself? Aw! Gimme a shmile!”
“Hey, Mitshuwe,” mister manager said, discovering exactly how awkward it was to try talking to someone with a death grip on his cheek. He batted the arm away, and she responded by “accidentally” stumbling against him in such a manner that he couldn’t possibly avoid her boobs. Putty in her hands at this rate. She might never have to pay rent again! “Y’know, you shouldn’t drink so much. It makes Naru worry sometimes.”
“Ooh, whadaya know about it! Sometimes ya gotta cut loose and have a bit of fun! Hey, why so glum tonight? Do badly on your exam?”
“No. And that’s the problem. I did so much better than my last exams, they thought I must’ve cheated.”
“Psh, no way! No way! You don’t have the spine to cheat. But you probably would be stupid enough to be that obvious about it, huh?”
Keitaro sighed, and guided Mitsune forward through the street. Right about then is when she realised they were at the train station. She’d been so wrapped up in having fun with him, she hadn’t even noticed. Well, it was fun while it lasted… Best not to continue with it on the train. Best to plop onto a seat and pretend to sleep; that’ll put an end to it.
<hr>
Nervous eyes kept glancing over to the only other member of the compartment. Sleeping beauty, huh? No wonder they called her Kitsune. If he didn’t have access to Motoko’s memories of what this girl was really like when drunk, she’d have completely foxed him. No point in calling her out on it. If she wanted to have a laugh, so be it. Still. She was kinda pretty, and… And she really should do up that top button on her blouse. One wrong movement while asleep on the train, and she might well give anyone that passes a free show! With a nervous gulp and hands as steady as jelly in an earthquake, Keitaro reached down. That’s it. Careful now. Don’t wake her up with your hands this close to her chest. Just take the button, and -
“Mm… Mister manager… I didn’t know you were so… zzz…”
Huh. So that’s what it feels like when your heart skips a beat. Probably best to not experience that ever again. It just wasn’t good for him. Best to leave that button alone for the time being, but keep a close eye on her breasts in the meantime. Uh! Because there might be a wardrobe malfunction! Not anything like… That! Well, at least nobody else was here to see his -
Nobody else was around. At this time of night? That couldn’t be right, surely. Keitaro stood up and checked the other cabins, front and back, and felt his heart skip another beat in mortal terror. He saw two of them. Two figures that he supposed might be called female, if you absolutely had to take a stab in the dark. And believe you me, if you had to take a stab you’d prefer it to be in the dark! if these two fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, it would probably be an improvement. The two of them had grabbed hold of a passenger, with their weblike hands wrapping around his head. There wasn’t even enough time for a scream. Or maybe because of the glass he couldn’t hear it at all… Keitaro strained to listen, strained to try and work out what the two of them were saying by lipreading, and pieced together roughly what was being discussed from there.
“And so shall be punished all who try to ride the Ugly Express without a ticket!” one of the two sneered. “Banishment is too good for them!
“Their beauty shall be used to nourish us for years to come!” the other excitedly cackled. “Come! Let us check for more attempting to skip on their tickets!”
Urk! The two of them were splitting up! One of them coming this way, while the other went in the other direction. What could he do?! What the hell was even happening here? Things like that couldn’t possibly exist! Why, they almost looked sort of like… Like… Like…
Youma.
“Stupid odango-haired ditz!” Keitaro whisper moaned. “Stupid octi-dimensional cube!”
Except… Wait a minute. Yesterday he’d felt a change. A drastic alteration that seemed completely inconsequential at the time… an ability he would never use… Which meant the cube must be trying to make him use it. Which meant that his eyes naturally gravitated towards Kitsune, curled up in her seat, lightly snoring while leaning against her rucksack like a pillow.
Not much of a choice, really. Okay. Okay! So he could pull this off. He could do this. He could somehow figure out some way to make this work, and he had less than a minute to get it done. Since he didn’t have a contractual circle, or the materials to make one, he’d have to make do with something a little more temporary… Which meant… He was across to Kitsune’s seat in a second, seizing her by the shoulders to wake her up.
“H-Hey! What’s with you all of a sudden?”
“I want to… I want to play a game. If you win, you get the most valuable prize I can give you. If you lose, you lose nothing.” Except by nothing he meant “everything when you and me are banished to gods and devils only know where.”
“Oh yeah? What sort of prize, and what sort of game?”
“It’s a surprise, and we don’t have much time. Just, repeat everything I say and you win. Got it?”
“Got it. That was easy.”
He hadn’t actually started yet, and the brief look he gave her should probably indicate that. Keitaro took Kitsune’s hands in his, stared her in the eyes - to the limits of his capability considering her eyes looked closed - and began to speak. “I do solemnly swear to uphold the virtues of beauty, honesty, courage and wisdom. With this power, I shall smite evil where it stands, and never use it for my own gain.”
She smirked quite a bit at that, but played along, finishing just as the door slid open behind Keitaro. Kitsune’s face went an appropriately white shade at the sight of the bloated, pus-filled mass that was, perhaps, once a human being. He took advantage of her shock, but decided that was probably not the most appropriate turn of phrase for stealing a kiss from a girl. It didn’t need to be long, and lingering to savour it was neither ethical nor particularly wise given what lay behind him right now. Just a little touch, and that was enough. More than enough, probably. The magical energy from the oath and from the kiss sealed the contract, and in a rare occurence Keitaro could see Kitsune’s eyes wide, wide open in a state of sheer shock.
“Well, well! This won’t do at all!” the creature growled. “Two pretty peons with no sense of public decency! Bet you don’t have a ticket for being pretty! So it’s off to the feeding grounds for the pair of you!”
“Wh-What did you…” Kitsune said, somehow managing to ignore the behemoth lumbering towards them both. “D-Do to me, I… Oohh!” Within the time it took for a hummingbird to beat its wings, Keitaro could sort of see the glittering energy spreading from her (soft, tempting) lips out across the rest of her face, just at the same time as her still wide open eyes rolled back into her head and her entire body just sort of… relaxed where she was sitting. “Ah!” she whimpered when it hit her neck. “Oh! Oh, yes!” she moaned when it reached her breasts. Her hands had started to trace the energy as it tracked down her body, the sight of which provided enough distraction that at first Keitaro did not even notice - “Oh my god, yes! Right there! Right the-the-there!” hips bucking, nipples harder than diamonds, squirming in place while hands caressed the inside of her thighs… Ahem… At first (or second or third) Keitaro did not notice the energy coalesce around Kitsune’s head. A pointed hat appeared atop her head. An orange pointed hat with a wide brim and… ears apparently growing out of it on either side. There was a mask as well, a similar sort of bright orange as - well, the leotard that had suddenly appeared over her body. The tight, tight leotard that left next to nothing to the imagination. Not that he particularly needed to imagine seeing her naked when he could do it whenever she was in Hinata anyway, but since she was currently in the midst of what was apparently a mind-blowing orgasm, well, that added a little extra spice to the imagery that he would not soon forget. If ever.
A long flowing cape billowed out from around her neck, almost appearing to take the appearance of a bushy tail for a split second. With the outfit complete with a mask upon her face and boots upon her feet, she simply rose to her feet, flicked her wrist and held up a card showing a cartoon fox, smiling out at whoever happened to be looking.
“Who the hell are you supposed to be?” the monster woman burbled.
“I am the Smiling Fox Witch!” the newborn magical girl triumphantly called. As appropriate to her name, she was smiling like a loon. “And I am here to -”
“A beauty like yours will feed us for centuries! Begone!” A scaly, blotchy arm lashed out towards where Smiling Fox was standing. “Got you!” the beast said with smirking triumph. “Hang on… Something felt…”
“Ahem!” Smiling Fox said from behind the creature. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted -” another lash out, and suddenly Smiling Fox was standing off to the side, arms folded, grin never dying for a moment. Mocking the opponent with its very presence. “I am fun. I am games.” Another missed strike, as the transporting magical girl continually stayed one step ahead of this blasphemy to the eyes and its every attempt to grab her. “I am joy. I am beauty. And I am here to put a stop to your wrongdoing!”
“We’ll soon see about that,” the creature growled. “If I can’t catch you, you stay safe. But you ain’t attacking me either! Hmm… I wonder, though. How about we make a deal!” That same webbed and scaly hand snapped out and seized Keitaro’s head, enveloping him in a stench that he would never, ever wash out, oh dear <i>god</i>, this was rancid! “You stay still, let me send you to the other place… Or I send him. You give up, I let him go.”
Keitaro could scarcely believe what he heard next. It was a single word that drained all his hopes. That word was “Deal.” No, Mitsune! Surely not! How could you do such a thing?! Had this strange new magical power reduced your intelligence in some way? Surely you could not believe for a moment that this thing would keep its word!
“Hehehe… Got you!” the creature cackled. “No teleporting away this time!”
“I will not teleport away. Of that, you have my unbreakable word.”
The grip around Keitaro’s head slackened all of a sudden, and she stared up at the sight of Smiling Fox with her head tightly ensnared in the beast’s other hand. Its second hand reached up to join the other, and the creature sneered down at Keitaro in triumph. A flash of light, and then their only chance was gone.
“No… No! Why didn’t you teleport away? It let go of me to send you away!”
“Hm… Maybe because I couldn’t, hun!” a surprisingly snarky voice said from behind him. A pair of arms pulled him back, and Keitaro looked up to find himself staring into the victorious and by now trademark smirk of Smiling Fox. “My power isn’t teleportation. It’s illusions. Audio or light only and it’s a bitch to handle both at once.”
“That’s not possible! I felt you teleport away! How are you still here? No illusion could - Hurk!”
“Yeah, about that,” Smiling Fox said, squeezing Keitaro even closer to her boobs while rubbing her cheek against his. “Since you said something about feeding off beauty, I kind of wondered what might happen if, say, something really, really ugly just so happened to get sent there instead. Like, say, your partner coming to investigate all the noise on this end of the train.”
The creature gasped, collapsed to its… knees, probably? And gasped for air. To Keitaro’s amazement, all the disfigurement, all the pus, all the scales and horror made flesh melted away, revealing two actually kind of cute girls unconscious on the floor. Soon enough those two were followed by others still. Doubtless they were victims of whatever the hell those things were, and…
“It’s over,” Keitaro sighed. There was a flash behind him, and a glance over his shoulder revealed that Kitsune had reappeared right where Smiling Fox had vanished. “Thank goodness nobody got hurt, huh?”
“Hm… I guess so!” Kitsune said. Her grip did not, in point of fact, loosen up in the slightest. It did, in point of fact, tighten instead. “Bu~ut, I don’t think it would be too smart to let you get out of this without answering a couple of questions!”
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What was she doing? Was she really going to ignore him from now on? Just because of a tiny little bit of a stupid hormonal reaction to some sappy story he told? Because of a few idle daydreams she’d been having ever since? Psh. This was the immature route if ever there was such a thing. If Naru Narusegawa was going to deal with this, she would have to deal with it maturely!
Which meant asking him for more details on the promised girl story. If what she’d overheard at school was right, that meant he thought it was one of them! Ha! Yeah, unlikely. Some of them hadn’t even been born by then, and the rest would’ve probably been too young.
Probably.
He did sound pretty certain about it. And then there was the way he’d clammed up after noticing her listening in… Could he have recognised her and tried to keep playing his hand too soon? She had to admire that dogged determination. Even though his exam results clearly marked him down for failure this time around as well, he’d probably keep on trying until he was an old man. Keitaro Urashima might well wind up becoming the first zombie to sit an exam. He was apparently bloody minded enough!
Which may well be why she hadn’t quite gotten around to returning home yet. She was exhausted as usual after a long night of revision and a long day of exams, but… Somehow she couldn’t quite bring herself to head back home. Not yet. She had some other things to take care of first, and it was probably best to do that now, and then get on the train home-
Where she’d find Mitsune pinning the manager against the train wall with a mischeivous expression. The fact that the other passengers were unconscious didn’t even register until the doors closed up again, and she’d have to catch the next one. Suddenly things made a little more sense. If any of theme was the promised girl, it would have to be either herself or Mitsune, and… If the two of them really wanted a relationship… Who was she to stand in its way?
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