Story: Ran's Body Wash

Another in the body wash saga, with yet another take.



It was just after school, and Ataru was running a little late for their walk home. All because of some stupid game he and Mendo had been playing with that sentient sentiment-inducing silly putty. She didn’t mind waiting so much, partly because she knew for a certainty that there were no more pretty girls inside the school for him to pursue. Which meant he had to come outside to meet her.

“Like, hi, Miss Lum!” a mechanical voice said, prompting her attention rapidly towards the ground. She winced a little, and levitated slightly off the ground to distance herself from the inevitable explosion. Only then did she pay any attention to the little windup messenger doll, and noticed something a little off about it. “Miss Ran has sent me along to deliver a totally awesome message.”

Its speech pattern was a little bit different than normal, but more to the point… The messenger dolls usually wore a light-coloured dress, but for whatever reason this one was wearing rather considerably less. It looked more like Ran’s silver bikini, except for some reason it was every bit as pink as her hair.

The doll fumbled around a little, or at least that’s what it appeared like until suddenly, an envelope (heliotrope in colour) was produced as if from thin air. The doll held it out as though waiting for Lum to take it, which she eventually did with tremendous reluctance.

“An invitation?” Lum said. She stared at the paper contained within. Flowery heading and borders all around, and the text read “Ran is totally sorry for all the mean thingies she’s done to her dearest friend. Please come visit poor Ran after school so we can make up! See you then!”

Signed with a heart and everything. Heeby, meet jeeby; you’ll get on great together. And that smell! What was that? Some sort of perfume? Whatever it was, it made Lum’s head feel… funny.

The doll was still staring at her. It hadn't exploded yet? Now Lum was really worried! “Um… Please tell Ran to expect me in an hour.”

The doll bowed, turned in place and skipped off down the street, leaving Lum a little bit speechless where she hovered. Moments later, darling appeared and the two of them walked off home together.

Lum never considered herself a suspicious person. She pooh-poohed paranoia, considered conspiracy theories the product of an impressive imagination and inhibited intelligence and generally tried to see the good in people. If questioned for evidence on this, she need only point to how utterly devoted she was to her beloved.

“Hey, babe! Wanna hang out some- “

A quick zap later, a quick apology to the hassled woman and they were back on their way. Yes, if she could see the good in him she could surely see it in anyone.

Not that Ran was a bad person any more than darling was. In their own ways they meant well, they just had their little quirks. Darling couldn’t stop himself from flirting with girls, Ran couldn’t help but try for petty acts of revenge.

Given that particular point, receiving an invitation from the girl set her on edge exactly as much as learning that darling was to judge a wet t-shirt contest. Could anyone blame her in either case? Especially since -

“Hey, what’re you up to?” darling Ataru asked. Now, he <i>was</i> the suspicious type, but only so long as the subject of suspicion didn’t have breasts, or happened to be named Lum. “You’ve been spacing out since we left school, like you’re worried about something.”

For all his flirtations and for all of his womanising, he would never ever admit that he cared for her. She still knew in her own way that he did, and it was because he noticed little things like her behaviour that betrayed the contents of his heart. Or at least, that’s what she told herself.

Lum shrugged. “It’s probably nothing, darling. You know that Ran has been away from school all week?” He nodded, with a bit of a twinkle in his eye. Yes, of course he would notice the absence of a pretty girl. “She sent me an invitation for dinner later on. See?”

“Smells kinda nice,” Ataru said with that stupid, goofy-looking grin. “You should’ve said sooner! We can visit her together!”

“No, darling,” Lum shook her head. “It might be another trick to drain you of your life. I’ll go by myself.”

“Aw, don’t be like that!” Ataru insisted, and Lum knew in that instant that he’d probably follow her anyway. “It’s been a whole week since I last saw Ran! If she’s been unwell she should get as many visitors as possible to help cheer her up.”

“Hm… Alright. But please be careful, darling! Who knows what tricks she might try?”

<hr>
Ran looked like a perfectly ordinary human, but she was most certainly not one by any means at all. She had the appearance of a human-sized doll. Beautiful. Ornate. Delicate. Fragile. Kinda cute too.

Her behaviour mimicked that particular image as well. Cutesy, friendly and once again fragile. A perfectly ordinary human girl by appearance and behaviour, but as said before she was more than she appeared. Ran was not born on Earth. She was not raised on Earth. She had in fact spent far less time within Earth’s atmosphere than outside it. Ran was an alien. Not just any alien, but a childhood friend of Lum’s.

Even knowing that didn’t change the simple fact that she was much more than she seemed.

You see, Ran hated Lum. Hated hated hated her. While she didn’t really care one way or the other for Earth or its people there was but one reason she was here at all. Lum had to suffer. Lum had to suffer and Ran had every intention to make it happen. She hated that blasted Oni so much that the carefully crafted doll-like mask would periodically crack and from it would appear a fanged beast. The very essence of distilled rage and fury capable of intimidating a wall into collapsing in on itself from the overwhelming spite and malice.

But how would she enact that revenge? Lum could fly and hurl thunderbolts as casually as a wave of her hand. Not a power to attempt vengeance on lightly, especially since Ran could do neither of these things. Her unique alien talent was of a different nature. With a simple kiss she could drain away a person’s youth, draining them of strength and often even altering the personalities of those she smooched. Lum obviously knew about this power, but she was never the target.

Instead Ran wanted to get her lips on Lum’s dear husband-to-be Ataru. Would be easy enough. He’s a known letch. Give half a chance for some action and he’d be first, second and third in line. But Lum would interfere, every time. Every damn time no matter what cunning or venom she spat, no matter what tricks she had up her sleeve Lum always lucked out, always got her “darling” out of the way, always won won won!

It is therefore safe to say that Lum was rather justified in her suspicions. Which does rather raise the question of what cunning, devious scheme she was toying with this time. What horrors was she intending to unveil in her latest attempt at revenge? What sinister schemes simmered under the surface of her soft skin?

“Quack quack!” Ran giggled, squeezing her new favourite toy. “Those humans are soooo smart! I’d never have thought of a rubber ducky!”

Well, most of the time Lum’s suspicions would have been justified. Right at this particular moment, Ran could probably not even <i>spell</i> the word “revenge” never mind attempt an act of it. Instead she was sitting in her bath, watching a rubber duck float next to her in rapt fascination.

“Miss Ran! Miss Ran!” the mechanical messenger doll called out. It climbed up the side of the bath and balanced precariously on the edge, appearing to breathe a sigh of relief when it did not topple over. Ran applauded the performance. “I delivered the message to Miss Lum! She said she’d be here in, like, an hour or so!”

“Oh, gosh! I totally forgot all about that!” Ran gasped. She immediately stood up in the bath -

And it must be known that by now any image she might have cast as a cute doll was forever gone. Her hair had remained pink, long and curly even if there was perhaps the slightest bit extra sheen to it. Her face remained beautiful in much the same way it always had been, even if her skin almost glowed with radiance.

It was from the neck down that the differences became impossible to ignore. She always had a good figure before but now? Now it was outright curvaceous. Though she was already attractive and easily able to twist most men around her little finger through her behaviour and looks, with this form she could do so effortlessly. By accident!

Ran placed her hand upon her neck and used it to scrub downwards, forcing the viscous pink liquid she had been bathing in down her body with a throaty moan. This is an important point to realise, for Ran had not been bathing in water or bubbles. There was nothing but her, a rubber duck and enough of the bimboising body wash for her to bathe in.

“Li’l Ran is so happy!” she giggled as the goop slid off her shoulders. “Li’l Lum is coming over to play! Then I can totally make up for all the mean, mean things I did to her! Like, the time Li’l Ran got her to make a bet where she threw a rock at a mean-looking monster, then flew her into a cliff face!

“Oh, silly Ran!” she rapped the side of her head in a cutesy gesture. “That wasn’t Li’l Ran! That was Li’l Lum!”

With the way that Ran used to be, this was right around the point where several small things would normally happen at once. Her eyes would widen with rage, her canines would grow more pronounced and her entire visage would turn into the aforementioned expression of rage, with walls falling over et al. But this was not the same Ran. This was a different Ran.

Instead her pretty little face remained pretty, but in its own way was still rather terrifying. Her eyes were reflective of innocence and purity before, but now there was a bitter, almost sultry edge to them. A fire had been ignited within her soul, and was pouring out through her pupils. Her friendly grin turned into a vicious smirk. The rage was there but none of the beauty was sacrificed. It was merely emphasised in a different way.

“The little bitch that she was!” Ran said in a voice that still sounded almost cheery. “But still, I’m so much better than her now. I mean, tiger stripes and horns? Soooo last year! Who does she think she’s fooling making a fashion statement like that? She’s, like, such a tool!

“Ah!” she gasped, and her face snapped back to the cutesy expression of before as if nothing had even happened at all. “Li’l Ran shouldn’t be so mean like that! ‘Specially since she should make nice with <u>the bitch</u> and make her lower her guard, then spread, like sooo many nasty rumours about her behind her back! Then I’ll totally seduce her boyfriend and dump him the next minute! Totally break his heart!”

The universe had once again conspired to demonstrate an old cliche as truth and wisdom once again. The more things change….