Asuka couldn’t sleep. No matter how much she tossed and she turned, it kept on slipping right out of her grasp. She’d tried all the tricks. Warm milk? Check! Mein Gott that stuff was <i>disgusting</i>! It had become priorities one through three just washing it out of her mouth! Gargling, spitting, brushing her teeth, flossing, the lot! It lingered in her mouth like a bad habit. A houseguest that wouldn’t leave!
Then she’d tried the other big one. Counting sheep. Within about an hour of that, she’d had to resort to powers of ten and started calculating the necessary population growth chart in her own head to determine (or at least estimate) how large a storage area would be required to keep that many livestock, how much food would be needed - all those little details started distracting and interesting her more than the sheep were. Which meant her mind was working overdrive, which meant she was even less sleepy than when she started.
To summarise: Asuka couldn’t sleep.
<i>That’s another thing you can’t do.</i>
Shut up.
<i>Can’t sleep. Can’t seduce Kaji. Can’t kill an Angel without help.</i.>
Shut. Up.
<i>I bet Shinji and Misato are sound asleep right now. And I bet Misato had <b>so</b> much fun with Kaji tonight if he was reeking of her perfume like that.</i>
Shut up!
<i>Oh, and can’t forget that Shinji took down a whole Angel all by himself.</i>
Shut! Up!
<i>And all without one teeny tiny little itty bit of training.</i>
Asuka punched her pillow and seethed. “Verdammte Scheiße, saugt diese verdammte!” she hissed. No, no, no! She was not that insecure, she should not be comparing herself to that idiot! She was the best! She’d trained hard for this day all of her life, and she stood head and shoulders above the other two in terms of sheer ability! Her tactical capacity outstripped the other two, her reaction time was faster, her stamina was through the roof and her synch ratio! Hah! She had no reason at all to feel insecure! None! She was smart, she was pretty, she was athletic, and she was hot as hell!
<i>Then why didn’t he kiss you back?</i>
Asuka rolled onto her back and frowned at the ceiling. What did that have to do with anything? The memory of that particular mistake rose to the top of her thoughts unbidden. She was bored. Shinji was there, just short of begging to be teased. So she kissed him and he stood there like a - like some kind of fossilised fish! Wasn’t her fault if he didn’t do anything, the spineless wimp!
<i>Oh, but surely the beautiful Asuka Langley Soryu could have enticed even him into action a little bit. Surely if you were half as alluring as you think you are, he’d have been crawling all over you spine or no. Surely -</i>
A retching noise escaped her throat. Shinji? All over her?! The very idea was repugnant! Repulsive! Revolting!
<i>Then why kiss him in the first place? Surely you weren’t <u>that</u> bored.</i>
Okay, there wasn’t quite as easy an answer to that particular question. There was any other number of things they could do. Play a game (which she would win, obviously!), get the idiot to teach her this chicken scratch they call a written language. Request recordings of previous Angel battles.
<i>Screw.</i>
No! No, no, no! A thousand nos were not enough! Something like that would never ever ever ever happen ever never ever! If she’d learned anything from that kiss today, it was at least that much!
<i>So, you were at least considering it before? Interesting!</i>
Not remotely what she meant! Stupid perverted subconscious!
<i>Hey, I’m just part of your mind. If I’m a pervert so are you. And by the way, I bet you don’t have it in you to kiss him again tomorrow.</i>
Hah! Of course she could do that if she wanted to! But who would want to after that first dismal showing?
<i>Maybe if you don’t hold his nose this time, he’d be more responsive.</i>
Yeah. Sure. <b>That</b> was the problem And what did you mean “this time”? There was once, and that was it! There is no “this time” and there never would be!
<i>Bwack buck buck bwak!</i>
… Asuka Langley Soryu would not be so easily manipulated! No matter how rage inducing it was to be thought of as a coward, such a blatant manipulative ploy would not outwit her! And furthermore… eyelids heavy… Sleep, at long last sleep, please take me away from this madness…
<i>Have fun with all those dreams I’ve got lined up of you and Shinji naked. Covered in thick German chocolate.</i>
Fuck… you… subconscious…
<i>And then there’s that one where Wondergirl shows up with a bottle of whipped cream, a smile, and not a single thing else.</i>
… Hatred… So much hatred….
<hr>
A faint and pleasant aroma wafted its way into her room and set Asuka’s stomach growling. The nerve endings found there passed urgent messages along towards the brain to a very simple, very primal effect: Feed us. Feed us now. Thus! Asuka sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and sniffed eagerly at the enticing scents.
“Lebensmittel…” she mumbled. Asuka staggered to her feet - her wobbly, wobbly didn’t-quite-get-enough-sleep-last-night feet - and staggered out into the dining area, where she caught sight of Shinji chopping things up and tossing them into a frying pan. Her stomach growled, reminding her of just how hungry she was right now. While she may not particularly care for a typical Japanese breakfast compared to what she was more used to, right now it sounded like it would really hit the spot! She could just kiss Shinji for making this!
… And she was awake again. Blushing too by the feel of it. Ugh! Stupid dreams! No! They were nightmares! Horrible, traumatic nightmares that would surely leave her brilliant mind tragically scarred for the rest of her life! Misato was to blame for this! That perverted lush! That -
A hand fell upon her forehead dragging her attention to the fact that Shinji was right in front of her pressing it there!
“Wha- what do you think you’re doing, täuschen?!” she yelled, slapping his hand away while backing off. Her face felt like it was about to catch fire! How could she not notice him getting that close?!
“You seemed kind of flushed, and you didn’t answer when I called your name… I thought you might be sick,” Shinji meekly replied.
“Well, I’m feeling just fine!” Asuka snapped. Alright. This was more like it! Now she was feeling much like herself! “Honestly, Third Child! That’s your problem. You worry far too much about everyone else, and forget to look out for yourself! There is such a thing as being too selfless, you know.”
“If you say so,” he replied.
“See?! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! Oh, you’re so considerate of everyone else’s feelings! You try not to hurt them and keep what you really feel all bottled up inside! Well, let me tell you! If you don’t hurt anyone, then you’ll never make anyone happy either! Your path leads to nothing but loneliness because you’d rather push people away than hurt them.”
<i>And you’d rather push people away than admit that they might be better than you at something.</i>
Oh. Hello again. Back for more?
<i>Never really left. Subconscious, remember?</i>
“If you say so,” Shinji said once again.
“Ugh! No wonder it was like kissing a corpse last night. I’m starting to think that for once, I might have been wrong! There really isn’t a heart beating within that chest, is there? After all, if you did then maybe you might’ve reacted a bit more when a pretty girl gives you a kiss! Maybe tried holding her a little? Maybe respond a bit?”
“… Th- that was because you held my nose!” Shinji whimpered. “I couldn’t breathe!” Mein Gott he was so pathetic!
<i>And kinda cute! Look at him squirm!</i>
“Oh sure, that’s your excuse!” Asuka rolled her eyes. “And I bet if I kissed you again here and now, my legs would turn into jelly! All because this time - this time! I didn’t hold your nose while we made out! Put up or shut up, Ikari. If you have the balls, come and take my lips. If you dare.”
She sat there feeling rather smug and full of herself. Little wimp wouldn’t try anything. She closed her eyes and puckered her lips, held her hands behind her back and waited. And waited. She’d be waiting for a while, because there was no way he would - Huh?
Her eyes flew open in shock. No way. He was… he was kissing her! More to the point, his hands weren’t just flailing uselessly around this time around. No, sir! Not this time! This time, he was encircling her back, pulling her close enough to hear and feel his heart pounding in his chest. Or maybe it was her own. It was kind of hard to tell at the moment, and for some reason she couldn’t quite concentrate enough to figure it out…
“Morning already?!” Misato yelled from her room. “Shinji! Is that breakfast I smell? You’re such a good kid, and - Oh, hi Asuka! Hm. Are you feeling alright? You seem a bit flushed!”
“I’m just fine,” Asuka replied with rather less force than a few minutes ago. The two of them had flown apart so fast, they must have surely set a new land speed record! Asuka staggered off back to her room to change for school, and absently rubbed her lips.
“Hah.... What am I thinking? Once a wimp, always a wimp!”
1. Asuka's internal debate continues.
2. Shinji ponders the morning's events.
3. Misato notices something odd about her charges' behavior. Well, odder than usual.
4. That night, Asuka confronts Shinji again.
5. Something else
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