Thursday, 27 September 2012

Story: Konatsu's New Technique: Idle Thoughts

Here is this week's vote winner! I hope it's not as controversial as last time it updated. Here is where it will continue from.

The word seemed to echo around the room. Master. Akane had frozen in place upon hearing the word. Master. It sounded so weird hearing it come from Ranma’s mouth. Master. Especially in a non-sarcastic way.

Master.

Her vision swam a little, prompting her to shake her head. The thought seemed alien yet somehow right. Konatsu was… handsome, strong, adorable, talented. More than that, he had lived such a hard life. He had been put upon so much by his wicked and hideous stepfamily. They refused to let him out of their grip and drove him like a slave to the point where he didn’t even properly understand the value of money, and -

And he was hurt.

“Ranma, we should call Doctor Tofu,” Akane said. “This is the second time he’s passed out since he got here. He might be seriously hurt!”

“Already did it while you were spacing out,” Ranma said while walking back into the room. “Before he gets here, we need to talk a few things out about our new boss.”

Akane winced a little and looked down at Konatsu. To think that he would do something like… like this! To do something to both of their minds to make them both… both…

“He didn’t do it on purpose, did he?” she asked. “He really didn’t know what it did, but wanted to. He was telling the truth the entire time he was here.”

Ranma shrugged. “I don’t think either of us are exactly fit to judge that right now. It’s about all I can do to stop myself from doing something stupid, like feeding him grapes.”

An oddly nice shudder shot through Akane as the image unfolded in her mind’s eye. Herself, half naked, kneeling before Konatsu and feeding him grapes. She almost slapped herself to get rid of the thought before it took root and grew into something even more perverted.

“But you’re probably right, I guess,” Ranma sighed. “He’s not the type to do it on purpose or anything.”

“Oh?” Akane glowered at him as a sudden realisation took hold. “And I suppose you are? I mean, you are the one that tricked him into doing it to me! Or at the very least, you let him do it without saying anything! Now I’m stuck in the same boat you are!”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like he’s gonna have all that much fun with an uncute tomboy like you!” Ranma yelled. “I only did it that way because I thought you were gonna try to take it to the old ghoul or show it to Tofu! Then who knows what they might do!”

“So you had him do something to my mind instead of risk letting his technique be found out?”

“His happiness comes before yours or mine!”

“And I feel the same way! Idiot!”

Akane clasped her hand over her mouth in shock. She hadn’t meant to say that. She hadn’t meant to-  oh dear, but that was the problem, was it not? She hadn’t meant to say it but now that she had… Now that it was out there… she knew that it was true. Konatsu had such little happiness in his life, and she would gladly throw her own away for his sake.

Which meant not telling a single soul what had truly happened here today. Even him. Because the knowledge that he’d done this to anyone, especially two close friends… It would destroy him.

But the conversation would have to wait for now. A loud knock on the front gate announced the arrival of Doctor Tofu, and while he was here they would have to keep up appearances no matter what was said or done.

<hr>
“He’s waking up.”

For the third time that day, Konatsu’s eyes adjusted to the light around where he’d been sleeping. They adjusted quite quickly as a consequence of flashbang training, and he was quite surprised to see what he was seeing.

Somehow he had managed to find himself in a luxurious bed, several times larger than himself. It was at a comfort level beyond merely extravagant. Duvets, pillows, and even a mattress!

A hand trailed along his naked chest in a playful manner, prompting Konatsu to turn to the side.

“M-mistress Ukyo?” he gasped. “Aren’t you cold dressed like that?”

Indeed she must be, for this was no attire to sleep in! The fabric was flimsy enough and unveiled so much of her enticing flesh that she may as well have been wearing nothing at all! Konatsu swallowed nervously at noticing the manner in which she pulled her nearly naked form closer to him and rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. In the process, his arm was rather warm as it was nestled between her usually tightly-bound breasts.

“Do I feel cold?” Ukyo purred. “If so, then you should warm me up!”

“And once he’s done with you, he can warm me up!” another voice said on his other side. Konatsu turned and gawped in spite of himself at the sight waiting for him there.

“M-Miss Akane?” he stammered. “Why are you dressed like a rabbit?”

“How better to show off how cute I can be?” she asked. “Want to play?”

Without the remotest bit of warning the duvet was thrown up, and Konatsu noticed the warmth and weight of another body underneath. Though his first instinct was to protect himself and his girls, that feeling gave way to yet further speechless shock at the sight of Ranma Saotome in girl form. Completely nude, and a little bit damp.

“If you’re playing, I want in too!” Ranma bounced slightly on the bed, a wicked gleam in her eye. Right about now was when Konatsu was starting to panic a little.

“Th-this is highly inappropriate!” he declared, stumbling over his words in a manner most unbecoming of any kunoichi. “I am just a humble kunoichi, unworthy of this attention!”

“Ooh, he’s doing the 'I am so unworthy' routine again!”

“So humble!”

“So cute!”

The trio’s girlish giggles coalesced into one, such that he could no longer tell who was speaking. He tried to leap from the bed only to be pulled back by six very strong arms. Before he could make a second attempt, Ukyo tilted his head and kissed him full on the lips.

“We love you, Konatsu!” Akane whispered into his ear, rubbing his shoulders and kissing the back of his neck.

“We need you, Konatsu!” Ranma said with a smirk, tugging at his trousers with an irresistible pull.

Under the ministrations of all three of them, Konatsu had no choice but to surrender….

<hr>
“He’s waking up,” a male voice said, and this time Konatsu really did come to for the third time that day. On this occasion he was looking into the relieved face of Doctor Tofu. “Don’t try to stand up quite yet. Rest a little while.”

“Pardon me, Doctor,” Akane said. “What was wrong with him?”

“Exhaustion,” the doctor said, more to Konatsu than answering Akane. “Whatever training you were doing, it must have involved Konatsu doing some ninjutsu that required a larger output of energy than he’s used to. It must have been quite the technique, given his skill level.”

“So it wasn’t my throw that did anything?” Ranma said, relief quite evident in his voice.

“Not at all,” Tofu said, shining a light into Konatsu’s eyes one after another as he answered. “Whatever damage that throw did healed up rather neatly. His healing prowess is almost at your level, which is pretty impressive all things considered. No, this was simply the result of a massive outpouring of energy. Give him a few minutes rest, and Konatsu here should be alright. Don’t do anything strenuous for the rest of the day, or you’ll just collapse again.”

“Thank you for healing this poor, unworthy kunoichi,” Konatsu said.

Doctor Tofu chuckled. “You really do need to get over that humility. Give some to Ranma, he could certainly use it!”

Both Akane and Tofu chuckled at the joke, but Ranma was fuming. “Please, good sir, I mean no disrespect. However, I believe our levels of humility are exactly where they should be,” Konatsu replied.

“He’s perfectly fine,” Doctor Tofu said while standing up. “If I wasn’t sure before, a statement like that assures it. I had better return to the office for now. Keep him off his feet for the time being, and take him home in a little bit.”

“Thanks, Doc!” Ranma said. “And don’t worry! I won’t let Akane cook for him or anyth- Oof!”

Akane extracted her elbow from Ranma’s side and gave a sweet smile to Doctor Tofu, waving goodbye with her other hand as he left. Once he was out of sight the other two turned their attention towards the kunoichi and knelt down to his level.

“Please, you don’t need to take care of me,” Konatsu insisted. “I am quite capable of taking care of myself.”

“Aw, don’t think anything of it!” Ranma said. “We weren’t doing anything anyway.”

“That’s right! Besides, this is a wonderful chance for us to find out a little bit more about you! What does Konatsu want out of life? What do you want to do?” Akane inquired.

Such a strange question to ask, and such an odd glimmer in her eyes. Ranma had it as well. A sparkling curiosity, all about him? Why? There was nothing to be said. Nothing worth learning. Besides which, the one thing he did want was… Oh! It was just so embarassing!

“You still want to date Ukyo, don’t you?” Akane asked. “I think the two of you would be so… so… cute together. Such an adorable couple…”

“P-p-please, Miss Akane! Mistress Ukyo would never want to date someone like me! I am - I am perfectly happy to work near her, day by day! She’s so good to me, even pays me ten yen an hour for such little work! I’m just so happy to be near her!”

“… But you’d be even happier if you were dating her, right?” Ranma asked.

“Impossible!” Konatsu declared. “Not only could I never… date… Mistress Ukyo, but being even happier than I am now… Neither of these things are possible!”

“Don’t put yourself down like that!” Akane excitedly bounced forward, smiling encouragingly at him. “You’re plenty handsome, and you’re so nice! I bet that if you dressed up nice and smart and then asked her out, she’d say yes in a heartbeat!”

“Uh… I’m not so sure about that, Akane,” Ranma said. “You forget, Ucchan has been carrying a torch for me for years now. It won’t be quite that easy to get these two dating, you know?”

“Oh, don’t be like that! Remember that time we caught her dating Ryoga? When we went through that spooky cave?”

“Nothing spooky about that cave as far as I remember,” Ranma rolled his eyes.

“There was plenty spooky! You just didn’t see it!”

The two of them went back and forth like that a few more times, and Konatsu couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of the two of them arguing. “The two of you are so cute together!” he sighed, then gasped. “Ah! Forgive me, I did not mean anything by it.”

The two turned their heads towards him in unison, their eyes a little wide and their jaws a little slack. “… You… You think we make a cute couple?” Akane asked.

“W-well, it’s just that… Well… I think… I think…" He didn’t screw up his courage often, but right now the conversation had backed him up against a wall. Fine, then! “I do think you would certainly enjoy yourselves more if you were more open with how you feel about each other. B-but that’s just my humble opinion; it doesn’t really mean anything and you should please just ignore everything I just said in case it offended you.”

Both of them were sitting very quiet, very still and both of them were looking at him with a very worryingly thoughtful expression. Konatsu shrunk back a bit, which was particularly impressive given that he was half lying on the floor at the moment. He really should not have spoken out of turn like that. But they were thoughts he’d been thinking for quite some time now. The two of them were all but married as it was! Surely they could see how much happier they’d both be together! Honestly, with all this talk about Konatsu’s happiness there was but one thing that could perhaps succeed in making him happier than he already was: And that was for the surplus happiness of those around him to increase.

As if sensing that he wanted the topic dropped, Akane walked over to a nearby desk and withdrew a deck of cards from it. The three of them spent the remainder of the hour working out a scientific measurement for how badly someone could play poker, and assigning Ranma and Konatsu appropriate values along the scale.

<hr>

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Ukyo said at the conclusion of the hour. “I was beginning to wonder why he was taking so long. I had no idea he was so unwell!”

Konatsu had an arm slung over Ukyo’s shoulder for support, though he honestly didn’t need it. For some reason Akane and Ranma had insisted on it. No matter. It provided an interesting opportunity to savour the fascinating delights of Ukyo’s hair product, which was a rather intoxicating aroma by any measure. Not to mention that being supported in this way by the one he loved was making his heart pound so much in his chest that he feared he may collapse again.

“I just wish we could have worked out what that scroll was all about,” Ranma sighed. “It didn’t make any sense to either of us. Maybe you can work out what it does, Ucchan?”

“If neither of you could get it, I doubt I could,” Ukyo replied. “Come on, let’s get you back home.”

“Besides which! He probably shouldn’t even try the ability again until he’s gotten some rest!” Akane said through grit teeth, elbowing Ranma once Ukyo and Konatsu’s backs were turned. Konatsu could hear the motion and the slight grunt from Ranma, though.

“You are all too kind!” Konatsu sniffed. “What did I do to deserve friends like all of you?”

And off they went down the street. Indeed, what had Konatsu done to deserve friends like these? Nothing so far as he could tell. They were all such kind people to whom he would surely be eternally indebted, and -

And a woman walked past them in the street. Nothing particularly remarkable about that; it was the sort of person you see quite often just walking around. Except in this instance, and for a reason he could not quite explain, Konatsu found her completely, captivatingly fascinating.

She was rather classically beautiful, he supposed. Though Miss Ukyo was far prettier, there was something about this particular woman that caught his eye. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt, bright red and a little loose fitting. In contrast she was wearing dark blue jeans which were tight, very tight, tight enough to show the form of her legs and her tight little rear end as she walked past them in the street. Even more distracting was the very slight jiggle as she walked, emanating from her chest. He had never quite understood the fascination with breasts before today, merely the fact that men seemed to have it. He had even developed a strategy to take advantage of the fact.

Today he felt like a new understanding had dawned upon him. The woman was rather beautiful, and his intellectual mind was attempting to determine precisely why that was, and furthermore -

“Konatsu?” Mistress Ukyo interrupted his thoughts. “Are you feeling okay? I think you were drooling a little just now.”

Ah! How embarrassing! “I- I am fine, Mistress! Thank you for your concern.”

<hr>
The two of them were sitting on a couch, and neither of them had moved for the last ten minutes. Ranma’s eyes flickered over towards the tomboy. How exactly did he feel about her anyway? It was complicated, and he didn't want to be the first to slip up and reveal something, which was the only reason he was staying quiet for the moment.

"Master wants you to be more open with your feelings," Akane said.

"Our feelings," Ranma corrected. "He wanted us both to be honest about our feelings, not just me!" He sighed, turned to lean his chin upon his hand and muttered just loud enough for her to hear. "Stupid sexy tomboy."

"What did you just say?" Akane gasped.

Ranma played it back in his mind, and winced. This was going to be much more troublesome than he'd first thought. Akane whirled him around so that they were face to face and stared him right in the eye with her bright, determined eyes that made butterflies appear in his stomach, and -

"And what?" Akane asked, her features softening alongside her grip on his shoulders. Not that he couldn't have shaken her off at any time he wanted, but it was nice not to have to.

Ranma swallowed nervously as her question suddenly made sense. "Did I say all that out loud?"

Akane nodded. "You like me. Don't you?"

"No," Ranma said. The answer surprised himself as much as it seemed to stun her. "I love you."

The reason he'd never said this to her was very easy to follow: Ranma was afraid of her reaction. He did not like showcasing his true feelings to the world and thus wore a mask of mischief and arrogance. He showed off, pretended not to care, cracked wise and insulted. All to hide those feelings from the outside world because he was afraid of the reaction. So when Akane started to laugh and tears streamed down her face those fears may appear quite justified.

"I'm sorry," Akane said, hiding her mouth behind a hand. "It's just that he was right! Master was so right! Us being honest about our feelings is so much better for both of us!"

The confusion and sorrow he was starting to feel was rather understandably distracting. He'd bared his soul to her, and she'd laughed at him. Well. Nothing else for it but to head to his room and mope - or at least that was the plan before Akane sprung from the couch, tackled him to the ground and gave him a kiss that could melt steel.

After a moment of stunned inactivity on his part Akane broke away and smiled at him. "Even I don't know how long I've wanted to do that."

On second thought, perhaps Master had the right idea after all.
  1. Sticking with Ranma and Akane
  2. Going back to Konatsu
  3. Returning to the kunoichi attempting to retrieve the scroll.
  4. Skipping to the next day
  5. There's a revelation about the technique.
  6. Something else

10 comments:

  1. Mmm, well written, but I liked the dream sequence more. The R/A 'you should date' felt sorta contrived in the setup.

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    Replies
    1. That is one thing I was worried about. Can you think of any way to fix that problem?

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    2. Hmm. Well, it was certainly foreshadowed in Konatsu's thoughts on Ranma and Akane in previous episodes, particularly when observing their banter, so it's not as if it's coming out of nowhere for him. But if you don't feel like it comes up naturally enough…would more buildup be helpful? A bit more back and forth before getting to that? Or do you think the whole situation feels too artificial?

      To me, it felt like he fumbled his way into it rather organically, but I suppose it might have seemed abrupt to some. Especially if not the episode is taken on its own without placing it in the context of Konatsu's earlier thoughts on the their relationship. Which isn't to say you weren't considering that!

      Delete
    3. Hm.

      I agree that it was foreshadowed.

      I just find the whole situation a little too artificial. "You two are cute together" could go a lot of places and that it goes 'We'll date to take ourselves out of the equation for you and Ukyou' seems at cross purpose to the tempting dream that's delivered mid episode. Especially since he doesn't say anything about them dating only about being more open with each other and being cute together.

      So I wouldn't bat an eye if suddenly the two of them started finding themselves saying their real thoughts about each other (especially on their looks/behavior), or hanging out together more so they can be cute for Master. I wouldn't bat an eye if their family decided that since they're getting along they should get married and they force it down to dates or something. I do look a bit oddly on it just suddenly going to dates by their own conclusion.

      Such a thing would probably also only make Ukyou work harder to get Ranma unless he was publicly dumping her which would make Master sad too (since Ukyou would be very sad). Again, it'd be very Ranmaseque if they two of them decided to team up to get Ukyou on datelike situations with Konatsu without her realizing it. Ranma asks her somewhere and stands her up leaving Konatsu to keep her company for instance.

      Anyhow, that's some thoughts that roll about my head. Hope that gives an alternate view there. Sorry for the late reply, took a bit before I could focus attention over here.

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    4. Well, I've written in some edits here and there. Is that a bit more to your liking, or did I go a bit too far?

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    5. It's far, but it reads better :)

      Still hoping down the road that Konatsu's dream gets to be more the reality since that's a more unique flavor to it, but even if this is more taking the two out of the pool, it's still sort of flows better.

      *gives a thumbs up*

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    6. Oh, don't worry. I intend to have it wind up as a Konatsu centric harem. In fact, that is the entire reason for the thread at all, it's more interesting to put him in the middle because it's not been done before.

      However! I'm taking the scenic route for a very specific reason. The first is that a lot of character development is necessary before that could possibly happen. The second is that harem threads tend to get a bit boring once the harem is actually formed. Most of them on the addventure are rapidfire, one girl after the other. The gratification is instant, like snack food. I want to make a meal, something genuinely more satisfying and memorable.

      Delete
  2. Hey, I just caught a typo I missed. At least I *think* I missed it. Reasonably sure I didn't cause it…

    "uncate tomboy"

    I already corrected it in the Google document, but I just wanted to make sure you have it fixed when you post it to the BEA. I actually just went through the whole episode one more time and tweaked a couple of others things too while I was at it (mostly punctuation).

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  3. The revised version was posted at the BEA.

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