I felt that the thread had stalled enough on getting Ataru to Furinkan. So here we are!
Continued from here.
There were times when Ataru wondered what exactly the qualifications for insanity happened to be. Surely the term was rather a broad brush to strike. Surely it meant behaviour far outside what would be expected of a person to the point of seeming irrational. Chaotic. A logic that only made sense to whomever happened to be thinking it.
In which case everyone he ever knew was bark raving mad.
“Dis project be da best idea I ever had!” the kooky Furinkan principal said. He was at present juggling pineapples while balancing precariously upon a beach ball. “It be sure ta bring de naughty chil’ren toggeda and put der naughty energy ta bedda use!”
Ataru nodded politely, sipping at the fruity drink through an even fruitier straw. Yes, if anyone wanted evidence that insanity held a broad spectrum they could take this school’s principal and compare it to his school’s principal. Anyone that couldn’t see that they were both entirely opposite kinds of mad were themselves barmy.
“I’m sure your students aren’t that bad,” Ataru ventured. Then an idle thought occured. What if he had started out sane and been driven this way by his students? Or the other way around! What if they had gone a bit funny having to contend with goofy antics like this?
Principal Kuno finished his juggling act by balancing the pineapples all on top of one another, then on top of his head as he took a bow. Lum wildly applauded, but Ataru wasn’t particularly impressed right now.
“Do excuse me for being a little impatient, but I was wondering if there was any particular reason you brought us down here.”
The principal made a choking noise that after a moment Ataru properly identified as raucous laughter. “I be likin’ you, kid!” the principal said, wiping a tear from his eye. “You be gettin’ right to da heart of da madda! Truth be told, I was wonderin’ if you would be able ta use dis here island for da location shootin’.”
Just for a moment, the briefest of brief seconds Ataru entirely forgot how to breathe.
“... Film here? You mean, use this deserted island set to film?”
“Dat be right!”
The possibilities were already dancing around in his perverted little mind. His gaze flicked over towards Lum. She was reclining on a beach chair in her bikini, having stripped out of her school uniform at his suggestion. (“It would fit the atmosphere so much better. Besides which, I see you in it all the time.”) But to be able to use the same rationale, to be given explicit permission to record as many babes as he wanted in their bikinis acting out a story that he would have final approval on -
He very nearly fainted. There had to be a catch of some sort...
“I think that might work out quite well,” he mumbled, half dazed.
“I do be havin’ odda ideas if you wanna be hearin’ dem!” the principal said. “All de guys should have de crew cuts. Like dis!”
The man dove forward suddenly dual wielding a pair of hair clippers. The sight of a fully-grown adult bearing down upon him with rapid speed, a manic grin and electric cutting implements rather rudely dragged Ataru back to the real world and away from that happy, happy place where countless cuties frolicked and played in the sand and water while he filmed their posteriors for posterity.
It was one of those instances where he had to be a little bit begrudgingly grateful to Mendo for his constant attempts to kill him with a sword. His reaction time was rather significantly improved these days over what it used to be, and he was easily able to catch one arm with his usual sword restraining technique while the clipper in the other hand would have bite marks all along the side from his other timely catch. The two were interlocked for a few seconds, Lum observing from the side and sipping at her drink as if watching some form of live entertainment, before the principal suddenly backed away.
The clippers vanished into whatever dark dimension they had been summoned from, and then the man said, “Is just a suggestion. You get ta film dis movie any way ya want. Jus’ be sure ta ask permission and get any signing relevant forms! Wouldn’t wanna get us all in trouble, huh?”
In a moment of unusual self reflection Ataru noticed that whether he intended to get into trouble or not, it didn’t particularly matter. It happened either way.
<hr>
Despite popular belief, Ranma Saotome was not a bad student. Not by any means. This is not to say his grades were exceptional by any means, but compared to what certain others in his life may be led to believe he was not stupid either. Though his academic life was not particularly important to him he did put in the necessary effort, he did put in the work and he did at the very least try for a decent grade. Which was what he usually got. He was not a terrible student. He was not a brilliant one either. He was average, or at least a little above average.
Even so. Right now he was a little bit bored with school. A creeping ennui that had settled in without him even knowing it had arrived. Right now it was lunchtime. Akane was off with her friends, Ukyo was off sick and Kuno was at some other school for a kendo competition. Which meant he had the rather wonderful company of Hiroshi and Daisuke, a pair of boys that openly lusted for his girl form and his fiancee.
The fact that he was friends with these two was a testament to how boring or creepy all the other boys in class were.
“Did you hear about the film project?” Daisuke asked. “They say the winner gets to see China!”
China? That got his attention. Except, there was something familiar about -
“China the place?” he asked suspiciously. “Or China the actor?”
“The actor,” Hiroshi said. “Apparently he enjoyed being the guest judge at that last contest so much he signed up to do a film competition.”
And his interest evaporated into the ether. Oh well. At the very least it meant he’d avoided being dragged into something that would inevitably become a great big convoluted mess with him right in the middle of the damned thing. Unless they tried doing Romeo and Juliet again. In which case Akane would probably try for Juliet- well! This time he’d stay out of it. Let someone else play her Romeo.
“Ranma?”
Oh, but he’d checked out the play later on. Just a little bit of idle curiosity. Some European play - British maybe - involving two legendary star-crossed lovers. He’d read up on it and beat his head against a stone wall for agreeing to it without checking first. All that trouble for nothing! Hah! Yeah, sure, he’d go through all that all over again!
“Ranma!”
Yeah, he’d just stand at the sidelines and watch the play. Let some other jerk have the opportunity to have tape slapped over their lips. Let someone like Kuno or Ryoga hear Akane’s performance about how much she loved him.
Wait. Why was his hand wet?
“Ranma, the can of juice has been pulverised already,” Daisuke joked. “You don’t need to squeeze any tighter.”
“I’m not interested in acting again,” Ranma said, hoping to draw that line of conversation to a close.
“Probably for the best. You weren’t exactly the best actor in that play, even if you and Akane have more natural chemistry than sodium and water.”
Both Ranma and Daisuke turned to give Hiroshi a funny look at that particular metaphor.
“Chemistry tutor,” he said. “She’s really strict and a little bit mad.”
“Oh,” Ranma shrugged. “Wait... What did you mean I wasn’t exactly the best actor?”
“He’s being polite,” Daisuke said. “He actually meant you suck so hard, companies view recordings for inspiration when they need a new make of vacuum cleaner.”
“I did not suck!” Ranma stood to emphasise his point. “I was the best thing going in that stupid play!”
“Oh, sure,” Hiroshi rolled his eyes. “You only went and turned the greatest romantic tragedy into a farcical comedy by your very presence.”
“That wasn’t my fault!” Ranma insisted. “If you remember, Kuno and Gosunkugi kept trying to steal my role!”
“Because they knew how hard you sucked,” Daisuke nodded. “But, hey, like we were saying. It’s for the best that you don’t inflict that level of acting on anyone else ever again.”
Ranma was a naturally proud person at the best of times. Sometimes it led him to lapses of judgement. Sometimes it led him to accept challenges which he could have easily avoided. Sometimes had just happened under his very nose.
“Alright! I’ll show you!” Ranma stormed off. “I’m gonna sign up for this stupid film, and then you’ll see who can damn well act!”
As soon as he was out of sight, Hiroshi sighed wearily and slapped a hundred yen into Daisuke’s upturned hand. “You win the bet,” he said as Daisuke chuckled. “Want to double or nothing on convincing Akane to join up?”
1: Ataru heads out to meet the students, and convinces a few of the cuter girls to participate.
2: One of the Furinkan perverts has started upon Happosai’s path. Who is it and how?
3: Skip ahead to the audition stage.
4: Back at Tomobiki, Ataru practises his new talent with girls he is more familiar with.
5: Something else
Cute :)
ReplyDelete