Story: WR Haruhi

 

Needless to say, I was not best pleased with this situation. What's that? Some fools out there are saying I should sit back, relax and let my dick get sucked all day and night by the beautiful women now in my thrall? Please! Have you paid no attention? Such a thing would be enjoyable for a short time. Alright, perhaps it would be enjoyable for a long time.

Nonetheless, have you seen that one Twilight Zone episode? Yes, yes, I watched classic American science fiction from several decades before I was born, what of it? Anyway, there was one episode where a man dies and goes to what he thinks is heaven, for he gets everything he wants as a matter of course. In time, he finds this tedious, boring, without challenge. Such a thing is how I would surely feel in a world catered to fulfilling the desires of my libido on demand!

Does that satisfy you, out there, with no sense of ethics or morality? You'd be amazed at how often truly practical long term thinking and ethics align. It's the shorter term where you will find they disagree more often than not. Needless to say, my true motivation for getting this sorted now was my ethical considerations, and not my...

Goodness me but Haruhi just swallowed a banana without taking a single bite. While maintaining a steady, steady eye contact with me. That sort of thing does rather shake up one's sense of perspective, I do have to admit.

"I will never, ever let you get bored of sex," Haruhi said. I gulped. Could she read my thoughts? She grabbed another banana, opened her mouth - but this time, instead of swallowing it, she stuck out her tongue and licked it from end to end, once again maintaining an unblinking eye contact.

I twitched. My body was aching, burning with desire. The truth is, Haruhi was always very beautiful. Of course she was. It's part of why she draws so much attention to herself. That cute face, that alluring body. While she wasn't a shade on Asahina... Frankly, Asahina was like a supermodel come to life.

"Ehehe, Kyooooon!" Ah, and here was Asahina now, tackling me from behind, very deliberately using her breasts as an offensive weapon to get what she wanted. Namely, my dick as erect as humanly possible. "Please Master, it's been too long since you f-fooled around with me! Please do so again!"

"I do want some special sauce for my banana," Haruhi said, pulling another banana out of her cleavage. The teases! I had to get away. Yuki was no good. Nobody in the school could help me now. I had to find a way out of here before they drove me into a sex coma or into some other form of madness!

Then it hit me. Haruhi was like a dog with a toy. Try to take the toy away, her grip tightens. Let her take the toy, she'll lose interest. In other words, my best course of action would be...

"Oh, I have just the idea," I said. "Hey, Yuki. You don't mind pushing those tables together, do you?"

Yuki did so by the time I'd finished even answering. Alright, great! "You got any handcuffs?" Perfect, she did! Sturdy looking, too! "How about a double ended dildo?" Of course, of course, she had that as well.

That was handy. Disturbingly handy. Were I truly an unethical monster that was something I'd make excellent use out of. Anyway, I got Haruhi and Asahina to spread their legs while lying on the table. Handcuffed them to each other's wrists, then set the double ended dildo right into their pussies - then put a book under one of the table legs at just the right angle to make it unstable. Setting them off rocking against each other.

You know, I should probably rethink that whole thing about my ethics here. Even though it's a desperate situation, that same reason is given by a lot of truly awful people throughout history to do truly awful things.

In any event, with those two being suitably distracted, I ran for it. I ran, and I ran, and I ran like the hounds of hell were after me. I ignored it all. The overtly sexual nature of the school, the absurd uniforms, everything. I ran out onto the street and felt a twinge of blessed relief when, the further I got from the school, the more normal behaviour and attire I saw.

I had to think quickly. My options were limited here. I had to go for someone that Haruhi would not know, or care enough about to fix. That limited things considerably, especially when considering who was actually capable of helping.

And that is where inspiration struck me out of the blue. There were some people who might be able to help. Might. The price they would ask for in exchange for assistance... Was almost certainly not too high for me to refuse their generous offer, whatever it might be.

<hr>

"Hello Kyon, it's quite unusual for you to call me out like this."

Sitting in front of me was a beautiful girl with the ability to mesmerise eight out of ten boys. Brown hair, a pleasant natural smile, conveyed a completely relaxed and calming atmosphere. This was an old childhood friend of mine, a girl named Sasaki. Who is she? Well, like Haruhi she can create Closed Spaces. The key difference in their powers is that Haruhi can alter reality, while Sasaki cannot. I think it's a bit more complicated than that. I think that Sasaki is content with the world being as it is, while Haruhi wishes for a more interesting world.

That's just a hypothesis though, perhaps one of those attempts to outsmart those who are supposed to be smart. Whatever, the point doesn't matter. What does is this: Sasaki is the one person I can think of capable of technically standing up to Haruhi. The problem is, she doesn't want anything to do with the supernatural. She doesn't intend to get involved at all. She is perfectly content not having powers, and while she knows that the supernatural exists she'd much rather get on with things and pretend that it didn't.

Huh, thinking about it like that, I can see why the conclusion would be reached that she cannot alter reality...

"Of course I can't alter reality," Sasaki tittered into her hand. Cute. Very cute and demure. "You do know you mutter quite loudly, right? Your inner monologue is pretty bad."

"I've heard," I said. Then I looked around nervously. "I need you to calmly listen to what I'm about to say. I need the help of you and your friends to resolve a simple matter."

"Okay!" Sasaki said. "But only on one condition."

Here it comes. Sasaki wasn't the one I expected to set the condition, though... she might be playing along with her 'friends'. And by 'friends' I mean the Anti-SoS Brigade. Basically, an alien, an esper and a time traveller who were... not very nice at worst, or kind of weird at best. Not even weird in the cute way Nagato was, weird in a quite far from human way.

I leaned forward, wondering what it might be, and then Sasaki whispered this in my ear.

"You let me suck your dick while you talk."

She settled back down, right as a waitress with large breasts leaned down to serve us drinks. That wasn't the uniform she'd been wearing when we'd arrived. It was much, much sexier. Much more like the sort of thing Asahina would wear when Haruhi wanted us to make a movie. Except showing a lot more skin. I leaned back in my seat, and tried to ignore the cafe becoming a den of debauchery and sin all around me, while Sasaki sipped her drink.

"You too?" I asked.

"Me too," Sasaki smiled back. "You rocked my world, you know. Stud." That sounded so strange coming from her. "That Haruhi girl's got a pretty wicked tongue about her too."

"Aw shucks, you're gonna embarrass me~" Haruhi said. Huh? She was the maid?! Since when? "We have that threesome pencilled in for tonight, but it looks like Kyon wants to step it up a bit."

"I have no complaints," Sasaki said. "I greatly anticipate being bred by you, over and over again." A strange, manic look filtered over her eyes. Oh no... Oh no! This was very, very bad! "It's not a safe day. I will be extremely fertile, making it an ideal time to be bred."

She then stood up and lifted her shirt, exposing her stomach and showing an erotic tattoo, showing Sasaki in the throws of passion. "This is my fertility tattoo, I was so happy when you gave it to me!" It was all pink and full to bursting with phallic symbolism. Everywhere I looked, there was dick, dick, dick... And for some reason I was getting harder the more I looked at it. "You gave it to me at the height of your powers. I am extremely thankful. Now, I shall be able to have a normal boring sex filled life with you, where the world remains safe and static."

"Except for the horde of children you'll be looking after," Haruhi said.

"Yes, of course! But the next generation is also a natural part of the world, don't you think?"

I ran for the door to put some distance between them - and instantly found myself back in the cafe. Haruhi sitting in Sasaki's lap, the two of them lip locked, taking off each other's clothes. And so, I shall swear this: If I ever manage to get my hands on that asshole version of myself, I'm going to find a way to punch him in his big dumb head!

But first, apparently I had to have a threesome that would involve me becoming a father. Can you see yet why I mentioned this would soon become hellish?