Story: HPOA 1/2

 

There was something cathartic in thwarting the dumb plans that someone else came up with for him. Ranma found himself wandering off home with a spring in his step, in male form at once. He looked to the sky, expecting it to start raining. Then he looked around for old women tossing water on the sidewalk. No sign of either. Huh! Lucky him. No goldfish sellers to spill their wares over him, no puddles, no water of any kind anywhere in sight.

It really was his lucky day, huh? It sure wasn't an omen of any kind, no sir!

"I'm home!" he called out upon arriving at the Tendo residence. In male form, no less. How nice. Maybe he could get through an entire evening without having the sisters crawling all over his hot piece of ass form? Might make a nice change of pace. Although, he had to admit... it was kinda quiet in here, wasn't it?

"Our fathers are out right now," Kasumi called from the kitchen. "Nabiki and Akane will be back in about an hour, too!"

Alright, that was good too! He could enjoy some peace, some quiet, and maybe get a bit of practice in. Although... He was smelling something really nice coming from the kitchen right now. Ranma strolled on over, no harm in having a bite to eat first, right?

Well, what should he find in the kitchen but Kasumi Tendo in a naked apron.

If you would indulge for a moment? Can we just take a moment to appreciate the sheer wonder that image causes when it flashes in your mind? Kasumi Tendo, wearing nothing but an apron. Not one stitch of clothing beyond that, unless you count the ribbon in her hair. While her younger sisters were no slouch in the sex appeal department, Kasumi was on a whole other level. The largest breasts, the superior child birthing hips, the general aura of the ultimate housewife... She had the total package going for her.

As for Ranma? His danger sense should be going off right about now. Hell, his common sense should be telling him that there was danger around these here parts. However, those things were switched off currently because he was in boy form. While a kitchen was a good place for getting splashed, he also had a thermos ready to change himself back in a moment's notice. As such? No danger for him here.

"Sorry Kasumi, I'm a boy right now," Ranma said. He definitely appreciated the view.

"Oh, that's fine, Ranma!" Kasumi chirped happily while continuing to make her food. "Please sit down. I promise not to splash you. This is almost ready."

Deary me, Ranma, your danger sense should be flaring by now. Don't sit - Okay, fine, sit down. Be all smug and superior about how you've outsmarted the Tendo sisters and their attempts to lure you into -

"Heh, sorry but you're gonna have to get up a bit earlier than that in the morning to pull one over on me," Ranma said, sitting down. "I already foiled Akane's plan to work with Shampoo earlier on. Did a real number on them."

Kasumi wandered over with food on a plate and put it down in front of Ranma. Delicious. It looked like chicken mixed with some kinda sauce. He couldn't wait to tuck in!

"Really? How clever of you," Kasumi muttered. "Oh dear, there's something in your hair. Let me get that for you... Do tell me how you tricked them."

She settled in behind him, and in allowing her to do so Ranma was ignoring rule number one of martial arts - never let your opponent take your back. Instead, Ranma was still fully confident in his ability to get away at a moment's notice, and so he did nothing to free himself of the web being spun around him. Instead, he popped a piece of this meat into his mouth and - delicious! Kasumi really knew her way around the kitchen.

"They tried this stupid 'rescue me' stunt, which I saw through right away," Ranma said, then popped another piece of meat in his mouth. Yum! He barely seemed to register when Kasumi leaned up against him, pressing her breasts right into his back while rubbing his shoulders. "I mean, it was so blatant and obvious. How could I fail to see through it?"

"A big smart, handsome man like you is far too clever for those two," Kasumi whispered, then blew into, his ear.

"Heh, no kidding! I wound up setting Kuno on them. That'll teach them to - By the way, what is this stuff? Never tasted a sauce like it before."

"Oh that?" Kasumi pulled herself closer. "It's nothing special, just a recipe from my mother's cookbook. She called it, 'Instant Aphrodisiac That Specifically Only Works On Cocky Martial Arists And Literally Nobody Else."

Aha, yes. Ranma nodded along with that. Made sense. If she'd come up with a genuine aphrodisiac that worked on anyone, she'd have made all the money in the world. No, really. It would have made her so much cash it would be unreal. But if it only worked on an extremely specific set of people then - 

Oh dear he was hard as a rock who could have ever seen that coming?

"Here's the deal, Saotome." Huh? Kasumi had said that in a very Nabiki like way, and her grip on his body was getting quite a bit tighter all of a sudden. "I will have sex with your boy form, right here and now, but you have to promise that your hot piece of ass form will lay with all three fo us by day's end."

The trap was sprung, and so was Ranma. That was a big ol' tent he was pitching in his boxers right now, and Kasumi's proximity was really not helping. Or, it was, if his goal was 'the most painfully needy erection he'd ever had in his life'.

"Thanks, but I'd rather just jerk off," Ranma said, pulling Kasumi's hand away from his body only to find that her other three limbs had wrapped around him pretty securely in the meantime. Hold on, this grip...?

"You know, in the original manga I'm very much a background character," Kasumi mused aloud. "Not very interesting, pretty but kinda just... there, you know? A piece of furniture, not much personality or motivation to do anything. I'm often compared to Belldandy, but she's a lot deeper than I ever was."

"Y-You don't say?" Ranma burbled, unsure of what to say right now. He was trying to escape, but Kasumi was being weirdly strong and showing a lot of knowledge about grappling right now. In fact, one might even say that she was grappling in a quite indiscriminate manner. "Uh, when did you learn...?"

"When I was eight and still planning to inherit the dojo," Kasumi said. "Don't misunderstand, Akane would have a tighter grip on you than I do, I simply got you to lower your guard long enough to let me get into this position in the first place. It's like you had a bad opening in a game of shogi."

"I don't play shogi..."

"I do! Father used to play with me all the time - before your father arrived. He was an awful cheat, but he still tended to lose..."

Another reference to the manga, here. There's a chapter fairly late on where everyone is afraid that Kasumi is pissed off at them because they thoughtlessly went out to have dinner together without inviting her, when she'd already made dinner at home. Turned out that she was actually after a stray cat that got in the house. The fear that they felt in that chapter is pretty much the fear that Ranma was feeling now.

"I thought you were an airheaded yamato nadeshiko!" Ranma protested.

"I was," Kasumi said ."Until I persuaded the writer it would be way hotter this way. So. Either we bang right here and now, or I hold onto you for the next ten minutes while that stuff works its way through your system. Think you can last ten minutes?"

Ten minutes. Ten minutes of feeling like his balls would burst. It didn't sound like long, but on the whole, he doubted he'd last half that long. Could his pride as a man see him through this? He didn't want to give in! Didn't want to succumb!

But, wait! This was a comedy porn thread, right? Didn't that mean, at the last possible moment, something weird would happen to save him? He'd be able to slip away, jerk one out, and not have to follow through on doing stuff with his hot piece of ass form! Right? That's the way it worked!

"Okay, fine, you got a deal!" Ranma said, and Kasumi quickly pulled him back to the floor and slipped around, keeping two limbs on him at all times while she got on top of him. Cowgirl position, right on top, unfastening his trousers while staring down at him with this weird expression that was somewhere between Akane's disdain and Nabiki's smugness. Was this the true Kasumi? Was the ditzy housewife bit just an act?

His erection hit the cool air, and then he felt the tip press up against her entrance. Any second now. Any second, something weird would come along. Maybe Ryoga, or Mousse, or Kuno, or one of the sisters, or God help them all Happosai might make an appearance.

"By the way," Kasumi said, quickly lowering herself and pulling his dick all the way in to the hilt. Holy shit! "Subverting expectations is a common theme in comedy. As such, subverting the subversion of expectations is often used as well to great effect."

Oh, was that a fact? He couldn't tell because he'd suddenly gone cross-eyed. It's quite difficult to focus when a beautiful woman like Kasumi Tendo is wantonly riding your dick.

"Remember the deal," Kasumi said. "You're letting us tap your hot piece of ass's ass tonight. No questions, no excuses, and no... Actually, did you say that Shampoo was here as well? Then I'll french kiss you right now if you let her have some fun too."

Ranma's answer was incoherent, for fairly understandable reasons. Kasumi tilted her head triumphantly, then leaned in for the kiss. Ohhhh shiiiit, this was so worth it. Ranma's cock convulsed and - Already? He tired to hold it back, but it was like holding back a hurricane, he couldn't help himself but cum inside so hard he was amazed she didn't lift off on the spot.

"There we go," Kasumi said, patting him on the head. "I'll be in my room covering my body with a thin layer of honey. Be there. Be a hot piece of ass."

Ranma burbled away happily, yet defeated on the kitchen floor, watching her leave with rapt fascination. Eh! He knew he'd lose eventually. Might as well make the best of it, right?