Story: Quadranma

So here she was. On her way to school. With her <i>lover</i> up on the fence, walking effortlessly on it like a total badass. It had annoyed her a bit the first time she'd seen him do that. Like he was looking down on her and everyone else. Now, looking up at him there, it didn't feel like showing off. It felt more like -  She didn't know how to put it into words, but look at him. The way he moved. So fluid and casual, but what he was doing was actually quite difficult and must have taken weeks, maybe even months or years of practice.

"Is there something on my face?" Ranma asked. Oh, had she been staring again? Akane looked away. "You've been acting pretty weird today."

"Pretty weird, is that what you call it?" Akane could hardly believe he'd say that. After the nature of their relationship had twisted and changed like that, he said she was acting weird? They were casually smooching, and banging each other stupid on the regular, with no signs of such behaviour stopping in the foreseeable future! "Honestly Ranma! You really don't get girls at all, do you?"

"Not really," Ranma shrugged. "Most of the girls I ever talked with were sparring partners or I barely knew them."

"Or you thought they were a boy."

"Yeah, I still can't get my head over that one," Ranma said. "Uchan's a girl. I never would've believed it. I still kinda keep thinking of her as a boy in my head, you know?"

Right. It is kind of hard to shake your first impression of someone. In her case, she still thought Ranma was kind of an immature loudmouth and a bit of a braggart. That opinion hadn't changed very much from when they had first met, but her view of him had at least softened somewhat.

Her sense of imminent danger kicked in. It's not a sixth sense or anything like that, you don't merely spontaneously notice someone's killing intent as if it was a real tangible thing. Sufficiently trained martial artists will simply notice things around them that are off. Sounds, something on the edge of your vision, little cues that you don't consciously notice will warn you that something bad is about to happen. Ranma reacted a little before she did, leaping down from the fence, bundling her up in his beefy arms, cradling her against his rugged chest, and then...

Huh... What was she thinking about again? Gosh, she hadn't been thinking about it before but Ranma smelled really, really good. He hopped away with her to a nearby rooftop, and then there was a sound like an explosion nearby that snapped her out of her lust-filled haze, drawing her attention down to where they had been a moment ago.

There was a rather large hole in the fence. Next to it, a crater. In the middle of that crater, there was someone on their knees holding an umbrella, jabbing it into the ground. Akane had a better idea than most about how hard concrete is. She broke bricks regularly, and even that relies on knowledge of leverage more than it does raw strength.

Breaking raw pavement like that was strength at a ridiculous level. Higher than hers for sure. This person was dangerous, and likely hadn't even noticed Akane was even there. That second part was a bit more worrying to her than anything else. It was fine for martial artists to pick fights, but be careful of your surroundings!

"Ranma Saotome," a silky soft baritone voice said, though there was a growl at the end. The person in the crater lifted their head to look up, then stood to their fullest height. "Prepare to die!"

Boing boing!

Well, now Akane could get a proper look at this powerhouse of a stranger. It was a girl. Definitely a girl. With a chest like that, she had to be a girl. She had short blonde hair too, and a little fang in the corner of her mouth. There was also a very good chance she wasn't wearing a bra.

"Do I know you?" Ranma asked.

"You - You forgot who I am?!" the girl yelled back. "After everything you did, after running away, you forgot?!"

"Ranma, what did you do to this girl!" Akane yelled.

"I don't know, we've never met before!"

A likely story! That was real venom and anger in that girl's tone!

"To think that you would be such a low man," the girl continued, raising her umbrella to point it at the two of them. "Making a promise as a man, and then running away rather than face the consequences of your actions!"

This was where Akane decided to slap Ranma now, because it was hard to imagine an alternative explanation for this. Maybe because she currently had sex and Ranma hotwired to the front of her brain at the moment.

"Ranma! How dare you forget this cute girl!" she yelled.

"C-Cute, me?" the girl blushed. "Oh, a cute girl called me cute! No, focus Hibiki! You're here to get revenge on Ranma Saotome!"

"Yeah, well, I'm running late for school!" Ranma said, hopping across the rooftop while carrying Akane in the bridal style. "Catch you later!"

"Ranma! Get back here!" the girl yelled. Ooh! Who was she? That weird girl, showing up like that out of nowhere... Who on earth was she, and what was her relationship with Ranma?

<hr>

If there was one thing that Isamu liked about his situation (aside from the free food), it was that he didn't have to go to school or nothing. He could spend his time out here, back of Ucchan's, doing all the training that he wanted. Up until his stupid enchanted dick got hard and he had to bang one of those 'sisters'.

The faces of those four sisters flashed through his mind right as he was going through the motions. His heart skipped a beat for some reason, and he wound up whiffing a punch. Whatever! There was no emotional attachment there, they were all just, you know, copies of his old childhood friend Ucchan, who turned out to be a girl, and he was only using her because this stupid enchanted penis all but required him to have regular sex.

And sure, that sex felt pretty great. Winding up all sweaty, surrounded by hot girls... It might not be his favourite thing in the world (fighting), but it wasn't any kind of terrible time he was having. Hell, he could even say that to an extent he sort of enjoyed having sex with them. Being surprised in the shower, being fed while one of them sat on his lap, railing one of them up against the counter. It wasn't horrible by any means. It just wasn't fighting, which he preferred. Yep. He preferred that a whole hell of a lot. And it wasn't like he liked any of them or -

"Ranma Saotome! I have found you at last!" a new voice called out. Some dork in a white robe, wearing a goofy mask. Oh thank goodness a lunatic from his past had caught up with him and was looking to throw down. "Despoiler of women! Enemy of decency! I shall - Hey!"

"Sorry, just thought I'd rather cut to the part we'd throw hands!" Isamu yelled, bouncing another stone in the flat of his hand before whipping it off to bounce off that really dumb, dorky mask. "I ain't all that hot on pre-fight banter, if you catch me."

"Very well then!" the stranger said, sending his arms to the side and - ohohoho! Those were some sharp looking swords! "Let us begin my revenge upon you, Ranma Saotome! Right away!"

The figure dove off the roof nice and fast, but not nearly fast enough to be a danger. Those swords were nasty looking but he'd have to get close to use them! Or so Isamu thought until the idiot tossed them. They were attached to chains! He could throw them and bring them back if he missed! Which, of course, he did.

Still that did give Isamu the chance to grab one of those chains and haul this guy in for a good hard right cross. Except that pulling on that chain didn't bring the enemy in, it brought a collection of steel balls shooting straight at Isamu's face!

"My name is Mousse!" the stranger said, as if Isamu gave a shit. "Master of Hidden Weapons!"

"Yeah, kind of getting the idea!" Isamu spat back. This jerk had all kinds of bullshit hidden in those big sleeves of his. He was already chucking all sorts of stuff around as it - were those grenades? "You really wanna kill me, huh? Awesome! Bring it on, show me the depths of your killing intent!"

"This is not killing intent!" Mousse yelled back, tossing more weapons around. A bowling ball, a spear, more grenades, a hammer, a cinder block, all manner of weird items that were sharp, heavy or both flew from his sleeves without a care! "This is love! The love for the woman you are cheating on with those harlots -"

But then the strangest weapon of all flew by. A quartet of spatula. They struck Mousse in his sleeves and trouser legs, pinning him to a wall. Then, right after that, the four sisters leaped in and dumped what looked like uncooked dough over his limbs.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Isamu yelled "I was fighting him!"

The four sisters all turned and glowered menacingly at him. Then, Ukyo gestured around the garden. Which was kind of a mess after that brief skirmish. Nothing quite like sharp objects, explosives, and an assortment of random heavy stuff to cause some property damage, huh?

"To begin with - we are not harlots, and he is not cheating on us," Atsuko said, quite sternly. "You must have confused him for one of his brothers. Based on those robes, you are likely from China... Would you perhaps be referring to Shampoo?"

"Yes, of course I am!" Mousse spat.

"You dumb bastard, she's with -" Naomi began, only for Ukyo to slap a hand over her mouth.

"Let's not go dumping this problem on them," Ukyo said. Naomi grunted into her hand and nodded in agreement. "We'll tell you where she is after you two clean up this yard!"

"Hey, I didn't agree to cleaning this place!" Isamu yelled, feeling a little bit put out by them suddenly taking charge like this. A feeling that didn't get any better when Yoshiko got right in his face and made her eyes all big and water. "C-Cut that out! That kinda thing don't - It don't have any effect on - Okay, fine! Fine! We'll clean the damn yard!"

Well, that was one thing he sure didn't like about this situation. Those chicks had him wrapped around their little finger.

<hr>

Ryoga Hibiki was in a bad mood. 'What else is new?' might be asked by those who know him. ' He's either pissed off or morose, there's rarely a happy moment for him' they might go on, explaining their response in extraneous detail. 'I mean, it makes sense really. He's always lost, he's a bit of an idiot, he's overly sensitive, that kind of person is rarely ever happy. In fact, let me go into this deep analysis on his mental health and general psychiatric makeup.' They would go on to post an hour-long Youtube video detailing the numerous psychological issues he has, as well as suggested treatment to deal with them.

None of which especially helped him in the here and now. Ranma had apparently not recognised him at all. Granted, he was in cursed form, but had that really - Damn these stupid boobs, always bouncing up and hitting his chin! If only there was some way to keep them restrained so they wouldn't do that!

Yeah, that was the other thing pissing him off. He'd been cursed to turn into a busty blonde with a splash of cold water. And it was all Ranma's fault! That girl as well, the one that also wore her hair in a pigtail, deliberately teasing him until he fell off that cliff! But since he didn't know her name he'd settle for being pissed off at Ranma Saotome for the time being.

"Oh, and I'm also pissed off that it took this fucking long to reappear in this story!" Ryoga yelled to the heavens. "I mean, hello? I'm the most reoccuring character in the series outside the Saotome and Tendo families! By a pretty big margin!"

Down boy, fourth walls are getting more expensive to fix these days. In fact, just to teach you a lesson...

"Excuse me sir, I'm lost!" Ryoga said, approaching the man that had just turned the corner. "Do you know the way to Furinkan High School?"

"Why of course I do," said Mikado Sanzennin in response. "It is - " He then swept Ryoga into his arms and - Smooch! Right on the mouth. With a little hint of tongue. "A place you should forget, why not come to my place inst-"

<hr>

"Hibiki, Hibiki, Hibiki..." Ranma muttered to himself. "The only Hibiki I know is a boy. Used to get lost all the time. Challenged me to a fight behind his house and got lost on the way, didn't show up for three days so I left."

"First of all, wow that's the worst sense of direction I've ever heard of," Akane said. "Secondly, did he have a sister?"

"I think he did," Ranma said. "Yoiko or something, or maybe she was a cousin...? Never met her myself, so it can't be her."

Okay then. That really wasn't helping Akane feel any better about this weird situation. A girl shows up in her new lover's life and claims Ranma 'ran away' from her. I mean, what else is she supposed to think in that situation? Still... As much as she could believe that girl's anger at Ranma, she could also believe that Ranma's confusion was also real. It was real, genuine confusion. She didn't really know what to believe and needed more information, quickly, or she'd run the risk of the same thing happening to -

Suddenly, a man landed like a javelin, headfirst into the pavement, then toppled over onto his front. Naturally, the two of them hopped right off the roof right away to check he was alright. A martial artist couldn't leave an innocent person alone like that, right?

"Are you okay? Can you hear me?" Akane asked, lifting the man's head up and checking for signs of external injury.

"I am fine, madame," the man said. "But... Perhaps a little kiss will make me feel -"

Both of them gave him an uppercut after that, sending him even further down the street. Never mind. That was no innocent. It was a wannabe playboy who, quite frankly, made the image she had of Ranma earlier on seem much nicer by comparison. All of a sudden she was ever so slightly less pissed off at him.