Story: Akane's Gift

So to recap Akane's situation, she had come to Uchan's for the explicit purpose of using a potent hypnoegg on her friend/rival/bitch who blew up her wedding Ukyo Kuonji to make her sit her splendid ass down and behave. Ukyo's personal wage slave/side piece(?)/it’s complicated Konatsu had sensed Akane's wicked intentions, intervened, and so she had set Nabiki upon her like a witch letting loose a demon, which resulted in Konatsu strolling outside with Nabiki arm in arm stammering like an idiot while Ukyo was behind the counter of her restaurant also stammering like an idiot. The synchronicity was amusing but Akane knew that she needed to prepare for a hard battle. Ukyo would not be easy like Nabiki had been. Ukyo was a martial artist, meaning she'd be much more alert, and much more of a threat when she realised what was going on around here.

"I mean, to be fair it's not like I have all that much dating experience either, it would be difficult to maintain a love life while attending an all boy's school, and besides which Tsubasa always chased away any girls that got a little too close and - You know, I'm really glad he didn't hang around like Mousse does with Shampoo, he was kind of one note and not anywhere near as funny..."

"Uh..." Akane muttered to herself, looking around the room and taking note of the customers very carefully staring at their food and not at the chef serving it up. Fortunately, that little sound seemed to jolt some sanity back to Ukyo, as she became aware of Akane's presence.

"You want something, sugar?" Ukyo asked. "Oh, I get it now. You got rid of Konatsu so that you could get me on your own, huh?"

"No, no, nothing like that!" Akane lied, because it was indeed exactly like that. As in, verbatim, that's how she was thinking about it in her head. "Look, can we talk a bit in the back room? We should talk about this a bit more privately, okay?"

That suspicion was bad though. It meant that Ukyo didn't trust her even a little bit. That meant her guard was going to be up, which was going to make this quite tricky. THey'd never actually fought before, but Akane estimated that Ukyo was right around her level. Which meant this was going to be nasty. Brutal. Could even end up with Ukyo using an egg on her.

But this was the best chance she was going to get, so she couldn't pass it up now. She followed Ukyo into that back room, thinking of all the ways this could go wrong. She could use her spatula to whack it back at her. She could attack Akane first before she did anything. Around and around her imagination went, conjuring up plans and counterplans, plays and counterplays - But the way things went in her life of late the only thing more doomed to failure than anything else was a well laid plan. It almost felt like... like the better you put things together the more likely it was to backfire on the planner. Hard. How? In some bizarre twisted turn of fate.

"Alright, so what's this all -"Ukyo got out, and that was when Akane pelted her in the face with magic hypno-egg. "The hell is - "

One moment later and Ukyo was in a giant egg. No fuss. No muss. The room was silent. Eerily silent. To the point that ti took Akane a moment to realise that she hadn't been breathing.

"That... worked?" she asked herself, looking around nervously. "Uh... Okay?"

Nothing. She'd managed that quite easily. Oh, wait! She hadn't managed it yet! Remember what happened with Shampoo? She wasn't free until Mousse showed her the mirror, right? There was always that risk she wound up seeing one of the Phoenix Tribe people and was still on their side!

Alright, let's see! There was a window back there. Maybe a burglar would sneak in? Someone trying to pilfer from Ukyo? Or, god help her, the ghost of  Happosai might escape from hell to ruin her day! Or - Or someone might come in to check on what's going on, or ask for the chef's assistance for something! What should she do, she couldn't guard both at once!

Or maybe something more absurd would happen right as the egg hatched, like Pantyhose Taro tearing down a wall causing Ukyo to see him! Panic, panic, panic! Akane clutched the top of her head and stomped around the room in big, sweeping wide legged arcs. Ah! Ah! Ah! Stop trying to think of contingencies, it'll only make things worse for yourself! Or was that kind of thinking too superstitious?! Akane couldn't tell anymore! Something was bound to go wrong at this critical point but what could it be?! What would it be that would go awry right now?

"Akane my beloved, you seem stressed. Would you like a backrub?"

"Yes please!" Akane quickly said. Oh, her mind was still thinking of things that could go wrong. Like Konatsu coming back, having sensed something amiss - or that the Konatsu that had left with Nabiki wasn't the real Konatsu, but one of those weird shadow clones. A pair of hands fell upon her shoulders and started to rub out the tension, which was helpful, but her imagination was still conjuring up things that could go wrong here.

"Oh, Akane, feeling your incredible skin I can’t help but notice that you have quite the nasty worry knot you've got there, what's got you so wound up?"

"Well,  Iwent to all this trouble to get Ukyo alone so that I could use an egg on her, but someone is bound to interrupt before she hatches," Akane said. "Oh, you're quite good at this."

"Thank you mistress, I live to please you."

Ah, that was nice to hear... Hold on a minute. Hold on. Who was speaking to her right now? Akane turned back to look and - Ukyo had already hatched from her egg without incident, and was now staring at Akane with wide eyed adoration.

Or... to put it another way... It all went off without a hitch.

Something deep in Akane's soul knew a mortal terror to rival Ranma's fear of cats. A comparison which worried Akane a little bit. Was she about to develop an intense phobia of schemes going perfectly? Would she then, somehow, internalise that fear so intensely that when she could not escape such a thing she physically became a scheme going smoothly? What would such a thing look like? Would anyone be able to snap her out of it? Probably! All they'd need to do is come up with a plan, any plan at all, and she'd probably help them along with it!

"Okay!" Akane said. "First things first, I'd like you to slap yourself for bombing my wedding. I'm still a bit sore about that."

Ooh, that sounded painful. No more of that, let's treat it like a test and move on to more pleasant things. For example...

"I'd like you to not go after Ranma anymore," Akane said. "Ranma is my fiance. My future husband. The future father of my -" She turned beet red and couldn't quite finish the thought. Although, yes, that would indeed happen. One day. Eventually. "B-But it would be cruel to not have you set up with someone, so... Uh..."

"Oh, I could easily shack up with Konatsu, no danger of that," Ukyo said, resuming her shoulder rub. "You know, I saw him come out of the shower the other day. Let me tell you, he's allll man! Even if he technically identifies as a girl. I think?"

Aha. Okay. Right. That... also made things easier. Suspiciously easier. Way, way too suspiciously easier.

"I guess I've been struggling with my attraction to him for a couple of days now," Ukyo continued. "You know how it is, you can't let go of your first love so easily, so I figured it was just a rush of experiencing something new..."

Right. Right. Well... That being the case her next course of action would be setting up the two of them in a way that didn't set off Konatsu's genius kunoichi bullshit sensors. Maybe... Maybe that's where things would go wrong? Akane almost sort of hoped that it would at this point - But wouldn't that also be a plan going smoothly if something did go wrong at this stage?

"Oh, that knot came back! Let me deal with that for you, mistress!"

<hr>

The only reason Nabiki normally went on dates was, quite simply, fun and profit ,.None of the boys in her life were capable of matching her intellectual interest, or entertaining her enough to be worth the time. Well, that one idiot with the dummy kept her entertained for a few days, but she wasn't sure a relationship would work out long term with him...

Nonetheless, she was no stranger to the dating scene. Unlike Konatsu. Who probably had gone on dates while disguised as a girl, but never once as a guy. Honestly she was kind of confused about Konatsu's gender situation. Did he... or she... identify as a boy or as a girl?

"Not to mention the fundamental issues with someone as lowly as myself being seen arm in arm with one as dazzling as yourself, that will surely lower your station in the eyes of anyone that swees us - or unreasonably raise mine, or perhaps worst of all both at once!"

"Trust me, when people look at us they're not thinking anything like that," Nabiki said. The things she did for her beloved little. Did willingly. Would do again in a heartbeat. Because that clever beautiful little sister of hers had brainwashed her into a devoted slave. So clever! "You clean up nice in a tuxedo."

"Ah, yes, this tuxedo is quite nice," Konatsu said. "It looks expensive. Perhaps worth a whole... dare I even say it... two hundred yen?"

It felt like an arrow had been shot into Nabiki's very soul. That sort of stupid statement about money... She kept on forgetting how bad his sense of it was! No wonder Ukyo was happy to keep him as a - Paid employee? Wage slave? Actual slave?

"I wouldn't normally correct someone's misconception of money, but -" Nabiki began, only for Konatsu to suddenly press a finger to her lips, and then turn around to look her in the eyes. There was a serious gleam in his own eyes. Goodness, he was handsome. It was almost easy to forget how well he passed for a girl when he was like this. Was he abotu to do something? Was he going to kiss her?

Normally when on a date with a boy she'd do something like hold up a plate or something for him to kiss instead. Or offer up the back of her hand if she thought he'd earned it. However, this was not a fishing expedition for cash. Konatsu had none! She was doign this onyl because Akane had ordered her to keep Konatsu busy! Should she... keep him <i>busy</i>. Well... Sure. She could kind of see it. If it would help Akane get what she wanted then -

"Please do not panic, Miss Tendo," Konatsu quietly said. "However, we are being followed."

"We are?" Nabiki asked, and Konatsu held out a shiny spatula. No doubt borrowed from Uchan's, and held it up for Nabiki to see the reflection. In it, she saw... "Isn't that Akane and Ukyo holding a pair of branches over their heads?"

"No, I fear not," Konatsu said. "It is surely an enemy disguise. A convincing disguise, but surely it must be. The likelihood of Mistress Ukyo making such a spectacle of herself is - It's too miniscule to comprehend. Besides, she would not waste her time following a lowly servant on a date, and she would have no need to hide herself if she did."

<hr>

"Ukyo, did you hear a word that I said?" Akane asked, still genuinely impressed with her brilliant disguise. Hah! Two branches, they'd never see them!

"Sorry mistress," Ukyo replied. "I was staring at Konatsu's butt."

Rightg. Okay. So. This wasn't where Akane's mind would normally go to, but she absolutely had to get this girl laid pronto.