Story: Genma the Milf

 

 
"How peculiar," Soun Tendo said one drizzly morning, staring out at his koi pond with a faint smile on his face. "I have the strangest feeling of deja vu. As though I had been through this experience countless times before..."

In the strictest sense, he had. Staring out into his garden, meditating on the days ahead. Thinking about the bright futures that his three brilliant daughters had in front of them. Reminiscing about the past, the days of youth where he had been a foolhardy young man who had sought out training from the strongest master he could find... And in the process became aware of why one must be careful what one wishes for.

"Mister Tendo, that's your post!"

Ah? He wasn't expecting anything today. Soun slipped up to his feet and hurried along to see what had arrived. Just a postcard with a panda on it, but who could it be from? He flipped it over, and tears streamed from his eyes.

"Oh, my old friend!" he cried, hugging the postcard to his chest. "At last, at long last, we can keep the promise that we made!"

Ten minutes later he had his daughters gathered in the living room, sitting opposite him while he felt like he'd had itching powder poured down his back. He couldn't sit still not matter how he tried.

"So what's the big deal?" his middle daughter, Nabiki, asked as clinically as ever. "From the sounds of things we have a house guest coming."

"Indeed we do!" Soun said. "Her name is Gemma Saotome, an old sparring partner of mine. She will be bringing along her son for the omiai!"

"Omiai! How nice," Kasumi said. "It has been a while since mother passed on, we should make sure this Gemma is suitable."

"Ah, no no, it's Ranma that will be marrying one of you! Hahaha!" Soun nervously laughed. "Though come to think of it, Gemma was always quite pretty. That would explain why all the men we ran into fawned all over her even after she beat them all in unarmed combat. But never mind, it's Ranma marrying one of you, as per our agreement."

"Hold on, hold on!" Akane said, holding out her hands. "Wait just a minute. I didn't sign up to marry some boy I never met. How can you expect any of us to go along with this!"

"Ah, here we go, here's a picture of Gemma when we were young."

Soun held it out for his three daughters to look, and... Damn. They had to admit it, she was quite pretty. A busty, cheerful lass with a full head of hair, looking glamorous even in a dirty gi. Even Akane was blushing a little, she was a real knockout.

"Still, Akane raises a good point," Kasumi said. "We don't know anything about Ranma at all. What should we expect from this young man?"

"No idea!" Soun said. "Never met him. Not even one time in his entire life. You know, come to think of it, when I say it out loud like that, it makes me seem like a bit of an idiot doesn't it? Hahahaha! Oh, how strange. Why do I sense killing intent all of a sudden? Is there an intruder in the house?"

"Hello, anyone home?"

The killing intent was immediately forgotten, as the moment Soun had been waiting for so, so long had finally arrived. He was on his feet and rushing for the door, Nabiki hot on his heels, muttering excitedly to herself that she hoped he was cute and -

Oh dear, a young girl was riding into their house atop the back of a giant panda. That was quite surreal to see. But little did Soun know that the weirdness hadn't even started yet.

"Hi there!" the young girl waved happily. She hopped off the panda, all smiles. Came off a bit cocky. "This is the Tendo place, right? I'm Ranma, nice to meet you!"

Soun stared at the girl in front of him in abject disbelief. A girl? That wasn't right. No, he was quite certain Gemma had said she had a son. Definitely a son. She wasn't the sort to make that sort of mistake. Plenty of other types, but not something as fundamental as what gender her son was!

Nabiki slid by him, sighing wearily, and put the matter to the test. She openly groped Ranma's chest and - yes, there could be no mistake. "He is a girl," she announced.

Then Ranma groped her right back. "So are you," she said. "You got a problem with that?"

"But... but... But...!" Soun repeated like a stuck record. Kasumi gently patted him on the back. "But the engagement!"

"Oh, I'm still up for it, sounds kinda fun," Ranma said, and then she turned her attention to Soun's three daughters. "If I had to pick right now... I'm liking the one in the gi, she's really cute. Not that the other two aren't, but I have a thing for tough chicks."

"T-Tough chicks?!" Akane yelped. "Hey, what are you thinking? Girls can't get married!"

"Sure they can," Ranma rolled on her feet. "Marriage is purely a social construct, the only thing holding back two women - or two men, for that matter - from marrying are societal norms. So long as the marriage is entered into in good faith by all parties, and the relationship is healthy for all involved, then who is to say that two girls can't get married?"

Everyone stared at Ranma in muted silence. Except the panda. It made a sound like an exhausted sigh, then slunk off towards the kitchen while everyone was too stuck on what Ranma had said to process literally anything else in the universe. As for Ranma, she tilted her head.

"So, is the gi just for show, or do you actually practise?" she asked. "I could do with a new sparring partner. Momma's really good, but she's running out of stuff to teach me."

Akane turned a variety of interesting colours, quite clearly lost for words. "What's with you? This attitude is so weird! I don't even know you, and you're talking about getting married, then moving on to beign sparring partners?! What kind of pervert are you."

"The sort that apparently likes getting told off by cute chicks in a gi," Ranma said. "Sorry if that came off as objectifying you, by the way. However, I do feel that it is vital for a healthy relationship to acknowledge when you feel those kinds of things for someone else. Sure, it might feel awkward now, but it'll help us bond more closely in the long run."

At this point Soun heard a crunching sound. Nabiki had sat on the floor, eyes wide open, grinning even wider than before. She had acquired popcorn from somewhere. Honestly, Soun himself was a bit at a loss for words. Ranma was a girl? Regardless of what nonsense she was saying, she couldn't very well marry one of his daughters.

"Ranma! Stop teasing the poor girl!" a familiar voice yelled, and then she stepped into the corridor, having aged like a fine wine. Some people put on weight when they get older. Others put on wrinkles. Others have the beauty of youth fade away, but not Gemma Saotome. If anything she had become even more glamorous over the years, wearing an ill fitting dirty gi, a bandana around her forehead, and large round glasses that covered her stern pretty face.

All three Tendo sisters suddenly felt slightly inadequate. Their Dad wasn’t interested in hitting <b>this!?</b> She had stronger ara ara energy than Kasumi, maintained a balance between tough and beautiful better than Akane, and carried herself with more raw sexual confidence than Nabiki!

"I apologise for my son," Gemma said, pouring the kettle's contents out over Ranma's head. "I tried to instill a strong sense of respect for women, but I might have gone overboard. The curse might have made him worse, as well."

"Oh, come on Momma!" said the inexplicably kinda cute boy that took the place of the inexplicably cute girl. "It's not a curse! It helped me realise that I'm gender fluid - though still attracted to women in either form."

"He'll be a good husband, I'm sure of that," Gemma said, a little insistently. "Certainly, he's cocky, he's brash, he'll talk your ear off about gender equality... but he's a good cook. He knows how to clean, and cannot abide a mess. Most of all though, he's the best martial artist of his age I've ever laid eyes upon. He'll take good care of you. I promise."

"Aw, Momma, you're making me blush," Ranma said.

Akane had been completely still the entire time that this part of the exchange had been going on. Well, to be fair, every member of the Tendo family had been completely still for a while now. Except Nabiki. Who was now shoveling popcorn into her mouth in a way that reminded Soun of a bulldozer pushing trash off a cliff.

Ranma stepped up to Akane, leaned in to look her right in the eyes, and then said "So, this is an omiai right? How about we talk for a bit, find out if we're suitable for each other."

Akane responded in exactly the way that Soun anticipated, knowing his youngest as well as he did. She hiccuped, went cross eyed, then pushed Ranma back and ran off to the training hall.

"I'll talk to her," Gemma said. "Ranma, you stay here. Not everyone is quite as... open minded as you are."

In all honesty Soun was admiring Akane's ability to even do that. Because right at that moment,  Soun would give absolutely anything to be able to rush off in exactly the same manner. This was what he'd been looking forward to all these years?!  Really?

1. Needless to say Mother and child end up turning a lot more heads, to Akane’s (sexual) frustration
2. Now that we’ve gotten the intro out of the way T-T-T-TIME SKIP.
3. That's enough focus on Ranma for now, Gemma's the one that's winding up with the complicated romantic situation in this thread
4. Someting else