Story: First Impressions

When playing a game, it is vital that everyone plays by the rules. If the rules are ignored then you're not really playing a game anymore, right? Alas, no rulebook can account for every possible method of gaining an unfair advantage, and that's why you have movies about a variety of sports being played by an animal because it's not mentioned in the rules.

Never mind the fact that most such sports rules normally include lower bound age limits, which - for example - dogs almost certainly fall under. The point still stands. If the rules don't say it's not allowed, then it might as well be allowed right up until the point that someone changes the rules. All is fair, right?  Lum having a lead on Shinobu was a clear cut unfair advantage, but... stuff playing fair! Shinobu's freedom was on the line! He wouldn't allow her to be won like a prize. By someone other than himself. Or Lum. Besides, having Shinobu as his temporary slave would be the perfect chance to try out a few things...

"Oh no ya don't!"

Huh? Ataru turned, and found himself staring down the barrel of - was that a bazooka over Benten's shoulder aimed squarely at the two of them?  Lum grabbed Ataru's hands and yoinked him up into the air just in the nick of time, as a straightjacket sailed by and bound together a pair of aliens a little ahead of them.

"Benten!" Ataru yelled. "The hell?!"

"You're moving way too suspiciously," Benten said with a malevolent glimmer in her eye. No, hold on, that wasn't the right way to describe it. Competitive. Yeah, that's right. A competitive streak a mile wide. "You guys know where Shinobu is, don't you?"

“You’re going to kill me with that!”

“It’s OK! Clone Backups are 99% off on Setsubun!”

“I don’t have a clone backup!”

"Darling, her competitive streak is still in control," Lum whispered to him. "She won't listen to reason."

Right. And while Benten was a pretty thirsty girl, she wasn't nearly as horny as Lum. Not least because she didn't have horns to start with. That made things awkward. She wouldn't be up for a roll in the hay in the middle of a contest, this girl's primary motivation was usually to be the top dog.

Especially where Lum was involved. Benten would be on their ass all the way across the planet, and would try to steal Shinobu away in a heartbeat. They'd have to be careful, they'd have to be cunning -

"Oy, Moroboshi," Benten said. "How would you like to see Shinobu in Lucky God clothes? Wouldn't that be way hotter than anything Lum's offering?"

Ding. his imagination filled it in right away. Shinobu, wearing... those clothes. A metal bikini, shoulderless, tied together over the breasts. He could see it vividly, with Benten leaning on Shinobu, who was blushing furiously and making a half hearted effort to hide her body in a way that made it quite obvious she was really trying to show it off.

“You already declined teaming up with him!” Lum snapped.

“That was before he teamed up with you!”

Lum glowered down at Benten, a competitive spark returning to her eyes. "Shinobu as an Oni."

Ah, this was going back to the fantasy Lum had been muttering about to herself a little while ago, wasn't it? Yes, Lum in a school uniform, bound and hugging onto Shinobu's leg, while she stood tall over her vanquished 'human' opponent, clad in tiger print bikini and gogo boots, with horns much larger than Lum's protruding from her scalp.

But Benten was not finished, as she delivered her own counterattack.

"We'd go on bike rides together, with her clinging to me from behind. Then, we'd have to shower to get all the sweat off."

Ah, what a pleasant pair of images. The two pretty girls clung to one another tenderly, Shinobu's powerful arms around Benten's stomach, leaning her head for support on the Lucky God's shoulder. Then, later, the two of them standing under running water, soaping each other down...

"With the Earth on the line, Shinobu and I have one final contest, winner takes all! She struggles, she cheats, but she cannot resist my allure, and succumbs, begging for the chance to be with me forever!"

"Fuck, that's hot."

That wasn't Ataru speaking. Sure, he'd thought something like that, but it had actually been said by Benten. Snapping out of it for a bit, Ataru suddenly realised - The two of them were channelling their competitive instinct into horniness again! While this was really sexy, and he'd love to see how much it escalated, he kind of felt it would be way hotter if they pulled Shinobu into this nonsense as well.

Which sent his tiny perverted brain into overdrive. Benten wouldn't be dissuaded from the contest becuas of her fierce competitive spirit? He couldn't bring Benten on board by appealing to her lust, becuase the competitive urge was stronger within her? Then he'd use it to his advantage and get her on board as well!

"Gosh, it's such a shame," Ataru clicked his tongue and shook his head wearily. "Those are both such hot images, but I can't decide which one is hotter."

"Mine is!" Benten yelled.

"No, mine!" Lum replied.

Ataru shrugged. "Well, maybe if I could see them both in action at the same time... Then maybe I could judge. Ah, it's so annoying! If only there was some way we could have Shinobu act them both out!"

Then he made a show of pounding his fist into his open palm. "I know, if I win, I'll order her to do whatever dirty things you come up with! Then we'll know for sure which is more erotic!"

There was a silence in the air. Well, no. not quite silence exactly. There were still legions of weird alien bullshit going on around them. Beans being hurled willy nilly, ray guns, flying chickens (or... he thought they were chickens?)

Lum was nodding along with great enthusiasm to his great idea. Benten, on the other hand, was staring at him dead eyed.

"How stupid do you think I am?" Benten finally asked, and pointed the bazooka again. Oh no! She fired another straightjacket at them. Luckily, Lum was as nimble as a squirrel, and she zipped around it. The mountain behind them off on the horizon was not so fortunate and - huh, he'd never seen an entire mountain getting put in a straightjacket before. Neat. "You want me to toss this contest so I can get some ass?! How about you let me win, and I'll order her to play 'em both out! That way, I win both contests!"

Damn! Her competitive streak was stronger than expected! Lum took the hint and vamoosed, but Benten was hot on their butts thanks to that bike of hers. Blast it! Now they were going to be chased half way across the planet by an insanely competitive/mildly horny Lucky God!

"Hold on, Shinobu!" Ataru yelled. "Just a little longer. Hold on, and don't let any of them tag you!"

<hr>

"Huh, this tech is way above me after all," Shinobu sighed, kicking the device gently next to her. It spoke ot the durability of Oni and Lucky God tech that the device didn’t immediately crumple. She looked around and then tapped her foot. "Maybe I should ask for some advice on what to do?"

Believe it or not she wasn't exactly spoiled for choice here. All around the room were Lucky Gods and Oni lying around with spirals over their eyes, and birds flying over their heads. Out cold. Unconscious. Some of them with mouths full of beans. Others with nasty welts on their foreheads, and overs still whose torsos were buried under a mound of beans.

Needless to say but Shinobu had been pretty busy for a bit there. Her skin was unblemished. Her record untarnished. Not a single bean had touched her.

To be on the safe side she approached an Oni that had been knocked out mid-flight, and was still hanging there mid air with no regard for gravity. Which Shinobu thought was quite rude really, didn't he know that gravity had put a lot of effort into pulling everything towards the largest object around? The least he could do was fall when he was out cold! He didn't have any beans on him so she stalked on over and slapped him across the face to wake him up.

"H-huh?!" the Oni yelped, and then found himself staring at Shinobu. Now, the sight of Shinobu Miyaki in a bunnysuit being the first thing you see upon awakening should, reasonably speaking, be a quite positive thing. It's a very nice sight. Very, very nice! This Oni, though? Reacted like he'd woken up to see a rabid dog barking in his face rather than a smiling ordinary girl. "Stay back! M-Monster!"

"Monster?! Where?!" Shinobu jumped near out of her skin. "Wait, you didn't mean me did you? I'm no monster, I'm a normal human!"

"H-Humans are sc-scary!" the Oni gulped. "No wonder our Princess Lum was unable to beat you lot! No wonder she decided to marry that average looking guy when she'd been dating Rei! Pl-please, don't do weird human stuff to me!"

Well, Shinobu took a bit of umbrage at the 'weird human stuff'. On the other hand, it played to her advantage.She leaned in close, smiled (because for some reason that really made him nervous. Must be a cultural thing.)

"You wouldn't mind explaining this thing to me, would you?" she asked, gesturing to the mysterious device behind her. "I would consider it an awfully big favour."

"Eeep! Anything you say, scary human!" the Oni yelped, and off it went to tinker with the machine. Huh. Well, what do you know? It turns out that a bad first impression can produce good results as well.

1. Lum and Ataru continue trying to shake Benten.
2. It turns out this device is a way off this planet. Score!
3. Ran, et al wind up crashing on the planet by accident.
4. Something else