You know, you'd think she'd get used to this weird bullshit by now. I mean, sure, she was psychologically prepared for most anything right now. Towering eldritch abominations? Easy. Living shadows that could swallow a skyscraper tall Eva unit whole? Check. A microorganism that evolved so fast that virtually nothing could beat it? Big check. This, though...
Future Misato stared out at her 'class' with great suspicion, especially on seeing some familiar faces among them. It was quite a lot to take in, this particular brand of nonsense. Caught up in her own past, then the two of them getting shoved into an obviously fake reality where they were both gym teachers at the same school at the same time, and that was meant to be completely normal.
Right. Sure.
It was weird but hey, there were certainly worse things she could be dealing with. A memory of running through hallways, dragging Shinji along as the shouting of gunfire echoed behind her came to mind.
“Right.. I am.. your new teacher. Some of you will know me, my name is Misato Katsuragi. You can call me Misato or Sensei, either way is fine.” She began, trying to think of how exactly she was supposed to act.. she had never even considered going into education. And sure, she knew enough how to stay fit herself, but was that really enough to teach PE? "Yes, Asuka?"
"What is up with these gym clothes?!" Asuka asked. Yes, actually, now that she mentioned it they were a bit flimsier than they probably should be. Very, very snug bloomers and flimsy shirts. "I feel like I've been put on display! Especially with this <i>spineless worm</i> here!"
"Why am I here?" Shinji asked. "Shouldn't I be with the boys?"
"No, this is fine," said a Rei with the number 17 on her shirt.
You know, that seemed like a good point. At the same time, it was kind of hard for Misato to articulate the exact reason for why that was. It was so strange, like a fog settling in over her mind. It got worse when she looked at their faces. Shinji. Asuka. Rei. The three of them deserved better. So much better...
...
Misato blew into her whistle. "Alright, everyone! Enough chatter! I want you pairing up!"
As soon as she said that, the Reis all paired up with each other, leaving Shinji and Asuka nobody to pair up with but each other.
"H-Hey! What's the big idea! I don't want to be paired up with this idiot!"
These two deserved better. They deserved much better than what they got. Therefore, they should be pushed into realising their feelings for each other sooner.
Except, such thoughts were unnatural for a gym teacher to have. Setting up students?
"Your hands had better not move one inch from my ankles, got it buster?" Asuka growled, while doing picture perfect sit-ups. "And no looking at my breasts."
"Asuka! Let Shinji look at your breasts!" Misato blew into her whistle. They deserved better. They suffered so much. Let them find a reward in each other. These thoughts went through her mind, over and over again. It was the best thing she could do for them. The best and only thing she could do was to play along with this illusion.
Needless to say, but such thoughts were giving this illusion more power over her. The trauma, the danger, the training, it all weighed down on her mind as a giant bag of guilt. In the end, what was really the harm in letting them have some fun, enjoy themselves and finally live a little? They deserved it, deserved all the happiness in the world given the damned shit all of them had to deal with.
"Not a cha- Woah!" There we go. That was the conditioning kicking in. "Nnngh, no! I won't give- Oooh, cut it out
Shinji blushes, hands carefully staying on Asuka’s ankles and eyes averted.. except no healthy straight teenage boy could look away for long in this situation. Asuka lay down, then pushed her upper body up and against her complaints, pushed her huge chest out, her body language all but begging for Shinji to look. And well, he peaked, then looked a bit more and..
“St-stupid perverted- ah- perverted-” Asuka would have probably continued complaining but the workout was actually real. How to put it, it's hard to curse someone if you need to breathe correctly during an exercise.
Shinji for his part was far too distracted by the fact that the way Asuka was sweating had started to cause her thin shirt to become see-through. And well, whatever power had changed their outfits had decided to not give her any kind of underwear.
<hr>
Right. So. Whoever had put this together was someone that Past Misato definitely needed to have words with. These things were barely worth being called gym uniforms. It was pretty obvious what was going on, and when you throw in the fact that all the students but two were Reis that was making her quite suspicious of the actual culprit.
"Praise me, Shinji! Praise me!"
It certainly didn't help that Asuka was... really behaving out of character. This was nothing like the Asuka she knew. Not <i>just</i> because her body had changed, but more like... Affectionate Asuka? Not cold? Not aloof? Not acting like she's better than everyone?
Sure, Asuka could be fun to be around if she thought you were “cool” or “mature” enough for her. But well, Misato couldn’t see Shinji as hitting these particular categories.. Never mind the way the girl was all but trying to stick her tongue down the boy’s throat. The only person she'd had a crush on was, frankly, too old for her and Shinji had pretty much nothing in common with him.
Actually, that last point made Misato rank Shinji up a little in her mind.
"Oy, you two! Cut that out!" Misato yelled. Ooh! "You're supposed to be helping me figure out how to get out of this illusion, not messing around with each other!"
"But why?" Rei asked. "Why leave the illusion?"
"It's safe here," another Rei said. "It's so much safer than out there."
“No more sitting in liquid and staring.. staring.. staring..” The last Rei added, an oddly distant look on her face that caused Misato to blink in confusion.
“It's fine now.” Shinji interrupted, awkwardly head patting the final Rei in an attempt to comfort her. “You don’t need to go back there..”
Ooh! "Quit petting your classmate!" Misato said. "Honestly now, while we're stuck in here, who knows what's going on out there?"
"Is that so?" Rei asked. "Then what about other universes?"
"Across the multiverse, people are suffering," Rei said. "Do you intend to fix every problem in every reality?"
"Missing the point!" Misato yelled.
“The mistress will take anyone willing from your world, that is the long term plan I think.” One Rei said, tilting her head to show that she was unsure how long exactly this would take. "They will all know their own personal paradise.
“And it will involve bloomers, see-through shirts and girls in skimpy swimsuits?” Misato said, turning her head slightly and pointing at the pool where more girls, mostly Rei but a few others too, were doing exercises swimming in tiny micro bikinis.
"Yes, and it will also involve muscle bound men in tight shirts and tighter shorts," Rei said. She tilted her head again. "A large percentage of human behaviour can be explained through reproductive urges."
Speaking of which, Shinji and Asuka were kissing again. Misato physically yanked them apart and stood on either side of the two horndogs.
"Putting people into a paradise is merely escapism," Misato said. "A little of it is fine, but what you're offering is far too much. People need at least a little challenge and hardship in their life, or their wits will grow dull. They'll become spoiled and listless, no motivation to speak of."
“We do not agree, suffering is a sickness to be cured. But we will not force anyone. These who wish to remain or return will be permitted to do so. But only after at least seeing what they can get.”
"Oh sure! That's how drug dealers work too, here have a free sample and then they get you hooked. What you're offering is too easy. In its original language, utopia had another meaning: No Place. It has that name for a reason, you know."
“A drug dealer is dependent on their victims, but we need nothing. The mistress made this world as is. Even if all humans leave-” The final Rei said, a sad tone to her voice at the idea. “Unfortunate as that would be, we will be fine. This world is not just a refuge for you, but also a place for us.. to exist, to be free.. it will continue to exist. And so we will remain here, keep this place well in order and come to help those that wish it.”
"Hey, what was that you said before about micro bikinis?" Asuka asked. "Come on, doll, I wanna show off for my boyfriend."
"Forbidden!" Misato said, crossing her arms. "Ugh, I hope the other me is having better luck than I am..."
- Past Misato goes to her future self for advice. Finds her flirting with a janitor that looks like Kaji.
- Meanwhile, out in the real world, Ritsuko has met herself and they're working to free our plucky gang.
- The gym classes continue in much the same vein.
- Something else
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