Sunday, 17 May 2020

Story: HHL DxD


If Asia was being completely honest, she felt a little bit lost. People were behaving weirdly. Okay, she could grasp that concept. People were behaving weird in a perverted way? That... didn't quite gel with her, if she was completely honest. Asia was at heart a good girl, a pure sweet innocent girl that would probably be limited to handholding and staring her crush in the eyes if things were different.

But that was not how things went, because she was not the only girl interested in Issei. And all of them were very physical in showing their love. Asia may not be perverted but.. she had adapted, had learnt to get used to it and even joined in simply because she didn’t want to fall behind in the race for Issei’s love. Sexuality had become more and more of an everyday thing for her. She had shown off her growing breasts to Issei quite a few times. Had snuck into his bed in nothing but her panties, sometimes together with Koneko.

So you can see why the idea of weirdly perverted behaviour might not sit right with her. Pervy things were going on all the time. Sure, some of it was a bit beyond her understanding. Alright, a lot beyond her understanding. Still, she was aware enough to recognise that it <i>was</i> happening.

She obviously believed Issei if he said that something odd was going on and that people were acting pervier than normal. But she was having a hard time recognizing what exactly was <i>wrong</i> in the first place..

Well, perhaps if she just followed Issei’s lead it would be fine?

"Hey, so is this the sort of thing the Occult Research Club gets up to?" Aika asked. "Come on, I won't tell anyone about what you do~o around here. Let me help! I'll be an honorary member!"

Oh my, on one hand letting a civilian into the club would be all sorts of troublesome. But Asia did like Aika, even if she could get a bit mean when talking about Issei. It would be fun getting to spend time with her like that but..

“No! Nope, rejected. We don't get up to such things, and you are not joining.” Issei all but shouted, a panicked look on his face.

Oh dear, the look on Aika's face was basically saying 'the lady doth protest too much'. She linked arms with Asia, who could only look back helplessly at Issei, and gave him this smile like the cat that had caught the canary.

"Um... I don't think she'll leave that easily," Asia said. Aika shook her head. Issei's shoulders slumped, seeming defeated. If any of the others were here this wouldn't be a problem. They could probably wipe Aika's memory or something, but none of them had learned how to do that kind of magic yet.

"W-Well, as the Occult Research Club, it is our responsibili-" Issei began, and then Aika burst out laughing for some reason.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, cheekily wiping a tear from her eye. "Hearing you say the word responsibility so seriously was the funniest thing I've heard all year. So? How do we start?"

"Ehhh, well..." Issei began. "I guess... we have to split up to look for the cause?"

"Sure thing, Shaggy. Velma and I will check out the back room, while you head to the kitchen."

That felt like a reference. To what, Asia didn't know. She picked up on the context though: Aika wasn't biting. She was now linking arms with the two of them and heading deeper into the ORC building. Honestly, it was a little surreal. At the back of Asia's mind she knew either one of them could have stopped her by force, but neither could quite bring themselves to do so.

<hr>
"Woah! You have a shower in here, out in the open?! Kinky! I bet you try to sneak peeks of Rias and Akeno in here all the ti~ime."

"Oh, no, one of them is often showering when I come in and they don't even mind when I hand them a - Focus, Aika!"

“What the.. I was joking.” Aika said, head whipping around and staring in shock at the boy. Her brain quickly went back to all the <i>rumours</i> that had come about like how Issei was secretly in a three way relationship with Akeno and Rias and blackmailing Asia.

Now obviously that was bullshit, boy was too honest and dumb to take advantage of an ant, but well..

It looked like he was getting more hands on fun than she had thought. Anyway, looking around this room Aika was pretty impressed. It had a real, proper, modern day gothic design to it. Kind of weird that an Occult Research Club of all things would have babes one and two in this school, and also a really nice building like this to do... basically nothing but research bullshit.

Then again. Maybe it wasn't bullshit? Aika felt funny. Had been feeling funny all day. As in, she could look at a boy or a girl and know exactly what it would take to rock their world. She couldn't do that yesterday. All she was capable of was judging a man's length and girth with a glance, and that was hardly a supernatural power. What could do that? What could possibly cause that kind of -

"Found it!" Asia said, holding aloft a perfectly ordinary wooden cube. Once Aika picked her face up off the floor she gasped at it, and at Issei as well, who was rushing over quite excitedly.

"Really?!" Aika yelled. "That's the cause of all this weird bullshit?!" Oohhhh, she felt a headache coming on. A bad one. "That's the reason I can make a guy hard by snapping my fingers? That's the reason I know exactly what kind of underwear a girl is wearing just by hearing her voice?! A wooden freaking cube?"

"Eh?" Issei gasped. "You can make a guy hard by -" Aika interrupted him by snapping her fingers. Issei, like a good boy, sat on the nearest couch. "Never mind."

"Can you do that?" Aika asked.

"Huh? You mean - " Asia snapped her fingers. Or tried to. She couldn't quite manage it. On the other hand, her failed attempts were so cute that it was worth seeing her try. "Ohhh, I did it yesterday..."

"Aika, please stop trying to corrupt the one and only person around that is keeping us from going lust happy," Issei said.

"Why should I?" Aika asked. "The way I see it this is the perfect opportunity to set you up. You know, I've been trying to do that for a long time now."

"I noticed!" Issei yelped, making a point not to look at the nun trying and failing to snap her fingers. "Kind of hard not to the third time she shows up in a sexy nurse costume. A-anyway! Asia, since you picked up the cube do you feel any different?"

Asia stopped being cute in one way, and started being cute in another. She stared at the cube in her hand as if she was a hamster looking at a piece of food. Her brows furrowed. Her cheeks puffed out.

"No," she said... and then immediately sat in Issei's lap. "Maybe if you rub my shoulders, I'll be able to figure something out?"

"Alright that sounds - Asia! It's corrupting you!"

Issei plucked it out of her hands and Asia blushed, then quickly stood up from Issei's lap and walked over to the corner to stare at the wall. How terribly amusing. If this was the sort of thing the ORC got up to regularly, she should consider becoming a member herself.

<hr>

He hadn't been a Devil long, but he'd already seen some really crazy things. Fallen Angels, Rating Games, immortal Phoenixes... And that was just the tip of the iceberg. Yet everything he'd seen so far felt almost like it followed naturally from what he'd seen before.

This was different. This was otherworldly even among Devils. This wooden cube, sitting in his hand, had made Asia do something lewd without saying a word. There could be no question. There could be no doubt. This was the cause of all of this, and his responsibility as the Pawn of Rias Gremory was to dispose of it before -

"Yoink!"

Suddenly, the worst person possible was holding it. Aika had simply skipped on by and plucked it from his grip, holding it aloft like a character in a video game who had just opened a treasure chest.

"Oh, what a treasure I have found," Aika sang. "A perversion cube with the power to distort reality. Why, it might even make my favourite ship sail: Do you feel like getting laid, Asia?"

<i>"Hey, I've been wondering about that thing for a while now,"</i> a voice said from deep within Issei. <i>"I couldn't quite peg what it was at first, but now I get it. That really is a perfectly ordinary wooden cube from another world."</i>

Fine time to pipe in with your opinion, Ddraig. Couldn't have said something sooner?

<i>"I didn't sense any danger to life or limb, so why bother?"</i>

Stupid, lazy, overpowered dragon! Then again, didn't that say something? That Ddraig had only spoken up now because Aika was holding it... Oh no, what horrors might she unleash? He was honestly a little bit scared to move, in case she did something with it. The perverted imagination of this girl in front of him, that delighted in trolling and mocking him while also being extremely obviously thirsty as you can get. What horrors might she unlock!

<i>"Not much,"</i> Ddraig said. <i>"Like I said, it's an ordinary wooden cube from another world. It must have brought its rules with it, and fed on your own perverted antics to rewrite the laws of reality around us. At this point she might feel a little bit tingly, or have even dirtier thoughts than normal "</i.

"Issei, I want to see you and Asia... get married and hold hands!"

<i>"Or she might suffer an overflow error. Kind of surprised you didn't, to be honest. This girl's mind might be filthier than a sewer..."</i>

Which leads to the question of how Ddraig knew all this to begin with.

<i>"Ah, I've had my fair share of stomping in invading parallel universes in my day, so called Oppai Dragon. Hah... If my read of the situation is right, these new rules might make the two of you the most powerful beings on this realm at the moment. Even without my assistance, this kind of reality warping might even put you equal to the Satans, as it seems to favour perversion and lust over all other factors. I feel strangely amused, yet insulted at the same time."</i>

Right. That was bad. Probably? Honestly, this felt like the wrong way for him to become powerful.

<i>“So, what do you want to do with this partner? Try to fix the problem or use it to go full steam ahead into the harem dream? These girls were already willing anyway, and this would help improve your standing in school easily enough.”</i> Ddraig’s voice asked in his voice, a bored tone audible.

"No," Issei firmly said, surprising Aika and Asia. "We have to find her. The woman who gave me this thing in the first place. Her name was Eve -"

"Waaaaaah, it's so fucking weeeeeird!"

And that was when said mysterious woman ripped open the door to the Occult Research Club, face distorted into a horrified and confused grimace. Tears were running streaming down her face like waterfalls, creating small pools behind her. The incredibly hot Succubus opened her mouth, shouting in horror before glomping Issei and grabbing him like an iron vise.

"What the fuck is going on, why is everyone recreating a fucking Wonderland porn parody here?!" Eve yelled. "This is supposed to be a fucking battle centric universe right, it should only be this bad if it's a softcore porn dimension!"

Right. Right. Well, Aika and Asia were staring at him, being hugged by this succubus, not quite knowing where to put his hands, when suddenly Asia sighed, pulled up a chair, set it behind the succubus, while Aika put down the wooden cube, produced a length of rope from somewhere, and he suddenly knew just where to put his hands.

Where else, but her breasts?

Issei pushed on her quite frankly ten out of ten chest and, after enjoying the moment, tipped her over onto the chair, and held her arms behind her back while Aika tied her down.

"Alright, missy, time to start talking," Aika said. "We're gonna play a little game I like to call 'Lewd Cop, Good Cop, Bad Cop. Have fun guessing which is whi~ich."


  1. What are the rules to Lewd Cop Good Cop Bad Cop?
  2. Meanwhile, a certain pair of Holy Swords pay a visit to the area.
  3. Back with Rias and Sona...
  4. It turns out that the thing that freaked Eve out was her thorough corruption of Kiba. Oh dear. He's gone full hentai protagonist.
  5. Something else

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