Sunday, 24 May 2020

Story: Chilly Harem


The encounter with that handsome Ryuunosuke boy left me much to think about, my dearest diary, so I took a stroll along the beach before making my next move. Little could I imagine that a fated encounter awaited me. My heart still flutters at its recollection, so forgive me if my words stumble a little at points.

<hr>

"Hi! What's your name? Address? Phone number?"

That sound sent a shiver down Oyuki's spine the moment she heard it. The melodic voice of Ataru Moroboshi. Oyuki turned quickly, excited to see him again  - though to others it would appear that she was disinterested, or emotionally unengaged. There. It wasn't hard to pick him out. He was flitting around, from bikini clad babe to bikini clad babe. He was making his offer, and he was getting turned down. A lot. For various levels of rejection. There was a simple “no.” There was a slap in the face. There was the girl pepper spraying him. And there was one girl who whistled and her very muscular boyfriend punched Ataru hard enough to make his head spin around a few times until several coins came out of his mouth as “Jackpot” flashed in his eyes.

"Truly, there is no accounting for taste," Oyuki sighed. "Unless, those girls are playing hard to get? Yes, that makes more sense. His flirting skills are unlike any I have seen before."

How fun, one girl was demonstrating her affection by grabbing his shins under her arms and sitting on his back. Oh, to interrupt a master at work! It would be such a shameful thing. In Earth terms, would a painting enthusiast have it in them to walk up to Leonardo da Vinci as he paints the Mona Lisa, and ask him for an autograph? Surely not, yet the temptation must be there.

Oyuki succumbed to temptation rather easily. It was always a weakness of hers. That's why she tentatively stepped forward -

"Oh hi, you're Oyuki, Lum's friend from Neptune right?"

Then within two steps Ataru was next to her as if he'd teleported right to her. He hadn't, of course. Humans didn't have the technology for that yet. He'd simply rushed across to her so quickly.

And of course he hadn’t forgotten her already. He was just prepping her for his seduction by starting up the conversation casually.

"Good afternoon to you, Ataru Moroboshi," Oyuki said, while her soul made inarticulate girly squealing noises.

"It's a better afternoon now that you're here!"

Ohohoho, the charmer. A faint smile appeared on Oyuki's lips, while a few of her brain cells started pumping out Dopamine like it was going out of fashion.

"You're an interesting young man," Oyuki said. Which, in Neptunian culture, roughly means the same as 'I am yours to do with as you will, if you but ask' in Earth culture. "I would like to get to know you better." Which translates into something approximating 'I am so fucking moist for you right now what are you even waiting for?'

In case you hadn't noticed, Neptunians aren't great at expressing themselves. You might say that Yuki-Onna appear… <i>frigid</i> to most outside species and I’ll excuse myself now.

"Hey, if this dork interests you, how about us?"

Oyuki turned around and beheld a trio of rather large men. Large in numerous aspects, for example their height, the circumference around their biceps, the same around their thighs.. But alas, you could not say the same for their brainpower.

The head of the group stuck his overly large biceps under Oyuki's nose and flexed it. Was this an Earth custom? Did he intend for her to smell his bicep? No thanks, it smelled ripe.

"I'd say we're a better match than this scrawny guy, huh?"

Ladies and gentlemen, let's step away from Oyuki's obvious thirst for a guy who doesn't deserve it so that we can all appreciate that someone just claimed to be a better man for a woman to be in a relationship with than Ataru 'I want a harem' Moroboshi, and - by the gods - he is so thoroughly wrong about that? Isn't that a chilling thought? Scary, isn't it?

What, you don't believe that? Well, here's some evidence.

"Hey buddy, she's not interested!"

It takes some serious balls for a guy to stand up for a girl in front of three beach bound muscle heads. Any one of them could have picked him up and folded him in half without breaking a sweat. I mean, they could probably literally do that. The size disparity was so big that a nearby boxing referee was twitching without any idea why.

"Yeah? Well maybe she'd get interested after I cave your face in!"

The bullies stepped up, while Ataru didn't step down. The leader threw a punch - and promptly fell on his ass. But why be redundant, when all of him is an ass?

"Mister Moroboshi, I would <i>really</i> like to get to know you better," Oyuki said, which roughly translates to the single most pornographic thing any of you can think of.

"Eh? Sure thing! I know just the place!" Ataru said, then linked arms with her and casually strolled off.

"H-Hey, get back here!" the bullies yelled. "Shit! Who left all this ice lying around on a fucking beach?!"

They were then fined for foul language in a public location, but their day would only get worse from there. A point we'll come back to in another episode.

<hr>

Oh, diary. The way that he stood up to those thugs was so... exciting. No hesitation, no fear. In someone else I would have called it stupidity, or a lack of awareness of the danger he was in... but I would wager that he did that because the thought of those buffoons laying a finger on what was rightfully his made him sick to his stomach.

Had I not been convinced already of my plans to build him a harem, then this surely would have done the job.

In any event. He led me off to a nearby building, and let me tell you that I was quite surprised to see where he was taking me.

<hr>

If someone were to look at Oyuki's face through a microscope they might notice her eyes widen by a picometer in shock at the building Ataru had led her to. It honestly completely betrayed her expectations, as she had been quite vividly imagining where he might lead her to.

"A cafe...?" she asked. "That is quite public, is it not?"

"Yeah, it is, but I've found that this place lets you get a good view of the sky so you can easily see Lum coming from a mile off."

As they went inside, Oyuki considered what this meant. Aha, of course. She understood. She fully comprehended what he was doing. He was building up the anticipation. Making her wait, so that when the moment comes that they express their mutual interest it becomes all that much more intense. A more memorable experience. Yes, she could appreciate that.

"So how's the weather on Neptune?" Ataru asked. "Try the scones, they homebrew their own jam here."

"There has been a torrentius blizzard that has lowered the temperature by approximately 10 degrees, and the wind is so powerful it could strip a human's lungs out of their chest."

"Huh," Ataru said. "Sounds pleasant."

"Yes, it is. We hope it lasts a little longer this year." Oyuki looked around, “How is the weather on your planet?”

“Oh it’s great. Global Warming was stopped when aliens took all the oil for some reason.”

Right. The taxi drivers. Oyuki knew there was a reason nobody hailed a Galactic Taxi. Their prices were exorbitant given the quality of their service, and besides which anyone with a brain that could pay their fees should be using space-time corridors anyway. She'd heard that these days they tended to stick around planets that recently experienced first contact and wait for some random idiot to ask for a ride someplace. Then drain the planet of a resource directly linked to their economy.

Still, Fossil Fuels? It really was a good thing Lum had been able to get off so cheaply.

"Darling!" Speak of the (Alien) Devil, Lum's voice cried. Oyuki turned to look. Ah, yes. She saw what Ataru meant now. You could see out these windows for quite a distance, there were very few tall buildings nearby so you could quite easily see Lum coming from any direction. "Darling, I know you frequent that cafe!"

Then Oyuki turned back, and Ataru was no longer in his seat.

"Oh, Oyuki?" Lum asked, floating over to her without a care for what anyone else thought. "Whatcha doing here?"

"This planet has proved to be very interesting," Oyuki said. She shifted in her seat a little - then noticed that Ataru was hiding under the table. Well, to be fair, she noticed largely because he'd taken the chance to squeeze her thigh. "So I decided to take another look for myself."

“Oh? Find anything fun?” Lum floated down where Ataru had been sitting a moment ago.

“I, ah, met the senior Fujinami…” Oyuki said, because Ataru had begun massaging her thighs, slipping closer to the edges of her bikini bottom.

"Oh," Lum said, and frowned. "So you didn't find anything fun."

“He did set up some strange contest and I left him in a frozen pillar after striking him over the head with a mallet.”

"Oh," Lum said, and smiled. "So you did find something fun."

"He should still be there, if you wish to have a swing at him," Oyuki said, then took a sharp breath in when Ataru kissed her thigh. Ah! With Lum right there! In a public place, no less! How audacious, how daring! How exciting! Why, there might even come the slightest tinge of colour to her cheeks. They might turn ever so slightly grey.

"Here are your scones," the waitress said, sliding two plates with rather overly large scones and - oh, so that's what jam is? Some form of fruit preservative.

"Thank you!" Lum beamed. Then looked at the plate in front of her. "Wait, I didn't order anything. Why would you order two scones?"

"If you will excuse me, Lum? I have a lot to think about," Oyuki said, and elegantly rose from her chair. It was true enough. She did have a lot to think about.  Her opinion of Ataru Moroboshi had only gone up following this meeting. She absolutely must ensure, at all costs, that he acquires his harem.

"Darling?! What were you doing under that table?!"

“Wow I can’t believe you found me while I was playing Hide and Seek with Ten!” Shouted in a completely monotone voice.

A smooth liar on top of that? Now Oyuki really <i>really</i> wanted to get to know him better. A whole lot better. Over the course of about a week and a half, and using those new oils she'd purchased from Venus. Lum was so lucky to have him.

“Darling I didn’t know you were willing to play with Ten like that!”

“Ack! Stop hugging me! You’re zapping me while you do it!”

<hr>

Yes. Diary, I heard Lum hug Ataru. I knew just how very, very lucky Lum was to have him.

-Signed, Oyuki.


  1. “Now, Diary, this is what happened when I met up with Ryunosuke a little after that."
  2. "Alas, as I left the cafe I ran into Ran."
  3. "I could not help myself, Diary. I spied on Lum and Ataru a little while longer."
  4. "More to the present, Benten is coming along quite nicely."
  5. Something else

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