In a sense Akane was lucky. She didn't have the harrowing experience of being chased by wild monkeys through a dark unfamiliar forest settling in the recesses of her nightmares. She was too busy fending off her own imagination assaulting her with images of Ranma Saotome, girl form, eight months pregnant. Such a thing was not easy to shake off. That large belly, gently patted by her strong small hand, while she looks down with a beautiful smile on her cute face. Such an image, she'd be positively glowing.
You try thinking about literally anything else when you've got that going through your brain.
"Hey, tomboy!" Ranma Saotome, girl form, not remotely pregnant tapped her on the forehead. "You done moaning about eight months for whatever dumb reason?"
Ah, oh dear, Ranma was <i>right there</i> all of a sudden. Akane was suddenly acutely aware of her own heavy breathing. Heavy like a tank. How strange. Everything else was indicating she felt pretty calm. Though it was making her think.
Recently, Ranma had been nicer to her. More polite, more considerate, giving her a few pointers in training... well after what he did when under the influence of that magic fishing rod he probably felt a bit guilty. But it was a bit more than that. He felt more… open. Like something had changed. He and Kasumi had been planning something but then he had Jumped so who knows when it'll come back.
"Earth to tomboy? Anyone home?"
"I'm fine! Stop tapping my forehead!"
Maybe it was because of what he'd seen in the future? If he'd seen where they'd wind up, and was building up to it... That was romantic, really. It was exciting. Fascinating. Really, really fucking romantic. Ugh! She had it bad. So bad! His weird time travelling thing was kind of off-putting at first, but when you put it like that he was so -
"Mind if I put you down? I think you've put on weight recently."
Aha, there we go, that's why she felt weird about this. Sometimes he was sweeter than sugar, other times he was ruder than the dirt Akane was making him eat.
"Who is heavier?" Akane asked. Then an image flashed in her mind that made her horny/angry. Herself and girl form Ranma. Side by side. Rubbing their eight month pregnant bellies. She ground her heel quite a bit harder at that. "I asked you a question! Who is heavy?!"
"If you two are done flirting, I need help with this map," Mousse said.
"Give it here!" Ryoga yelled. Oh lordy, here we go again. These two could almost take this act on tour. "You're looking at the back, you idiot! No wonder we're lost!"
"I rather think the horde of monkeys out for our flesh might have a hand in that," Mousse sniffed indignantly. "Do you have any bright ideas?"
"Yeah! Best thing to do is get as high as possible. If we're looking for a mountain, that's the way to go about it, right?" Ryoga nodded. Oh good, something sensible being suggested for once. "Hey, the highest point around is obviously that mountain shaped like a kettle. If we climb up there, we're bound to spot this Horai Mountain place right away!"
Ranma and Akane both stared blankly at Ryoga. Mousse was also staring blankly, but at a random tree stump. They all had an expression on their face that could best be described as "are you fucking serious, how dumb are you?"
"Heh! Good thinking, right?" Ryoga said, puffing his chest out in pride. Akane took a deep breath and started walking in that direction with her shoulders slumped. Idiots. Every member of this group was a complete goddamned idiot. Yes, including herself! "Hey, Akane! Don't go on ahead, you don't want to get lost!"
"Ryoga," Ranma put her hand on the lost boy's shoulder. "Ryoga Hibiki, please don't talk for a little while. We, uh, need a moment to digest how <i>brilliant</i> you really are."
There was one thing she knew for certain. If there are worse travelling companions anywhere else on the planet Earth, Akane did not want to meet them.
<hr>
"Lime," Herb said.
"Yes?" Lime asked.
"Why is your hand on my crotch?"
"Uh..."
"I ask purely for curiosity's sake," Herb said, raising a hand to Lime's face. "Before I blast you off across the horizon."
And then, for reasons that would leave Herb genuinely flummoxed, baffled, confused beyond reason Mint decided to add her hand to the 'squeeze Herb's unwanted penis' party. By definition this was a party that could only be attended by gatecrashing, and as Royalty you should surely know that Herb <i>hates</i>gatecrashers.
"A penis is not for squeezing!" Herb yelled, and a blast of hot air sent the two flying. "This thing... it's quite sensitive, I will have you know?"
"Eh? It is"? Mint grunted from upside down in the tree where she'd landed. "I thought it was meant to get hard if it's to go inside."
"How can something that is meant to be hard also be sensitive?" Lime asked.
The level to which Herb does not want to have this conversation cannot be measured with mere human numbers, and certainly cannot be represented in arabic numerals.
"If we cannot squeeze your hard thing, can we check your butt instead?" Mint asked.
"I've heard that a man's butt is different from a woman's butt," Lime said.
And now the conversation <u>some-fucking-how</u> managed a level of do-not-want even further than it had reached before! Seeing red, Herb couldn't hold back anymore. There's a point where a leader must be strict, must be firm, must take those under them. Otherwise they will repeat their bad behaviour. Correction must be applied.
In Herb's case that correction meant blasting them with the force of a hurricane. Harsh, but fair. The blast was strong enough to knock over a few rows of trees in the process...
And revealing not only Horai Mountain, but also a shorter route towards it than they had previously been using.
“Amazing Your Highness! Your wisdom is unmatched!” Lime said.
"Revealing such a path with your indomitable might... surely nobody can be as brilliant as you!" Mint prostrated herself before Herb.
Ahem. Ahem! Ahem! Well, Herb could hardly correct them when they're being so complimentary. Even though it was a total accident...
"My instincts as a descendant of dragons is finely honed," Herb said.
"Oooh, like your butt!" Mint said, blatantly groping Herb's butt. Moments later she was flying through the air. Oh dear. It seemed as though some people were too stupid to learn easily.
- The two groups meet, and an epic confrontation begins.
- Ranma skips in time to another event.
- Mousse has noticed the tension between Ranma and Akane and decides to play this to his own advantage.
- Something else
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