Have you ever heard of Misattribution of Arousal? It's an interesting psychological phenomenon that has a tendency to show up in porn. Ahem. The idea is pretty straightforward. Take a couple of attractive people and stick them into a dangerous situation that requires they stay in close contact. Their heart will pound, adrenaline will flourish, and their body chemistry will trick their brains into saying "hey that person's hot, let's bang them." They're not <i>actually</i> all that into each other necessarily, they're simply misattributing their state of arousal to sexual desire rather than its actual cause, fleeing from danger.
That concept in mind rather puts a potentially different spin on Ranma and Akane's relationship, doesn't it? How often are they in a heart pounding situation where they're stuck together? Right? Well yes... Except it's not the only time they have that 'oh no they're hot' reaction.
On the other hand… let’s look at Ryoga and Ukyo. There's normally zero chemistry between them. Their relationship more or less ends at "Hey, the person I like likes the person you like, we should team up and split them apart." But right now...
Clang!
"Not that way, you idiot! That's back the way we came!"
Ryoga rubbed the top of his head where it had been struck by Ukyo's mighty spatula. This was more a sheepish, 'aw shucks' reaction than 'that hurt'.
"Are you sure?" Ryoga asked. "I thought we came from that way."
He was pointing straight up at the ceiling. Which was nothing but rock. Cue Ukyo stuffing his face with another serving of flat metal, served cold.
"How do you even function with this kind of direction sense?" she asked. "Come on, we've fallen behind! We have to find those two before something happens!"
Ukyo's hand grabbed hold of Ryoga's, and she hauled him through the tunnel in the right fucking direction. Ooh, that boy! He was impossible to work with! So dense, so utterly thickheaded, yet at the same time so strong and tough and impossible to start once he got going and -
She wobbled a little bit there and had to brace herself against a wall. She'd grabbed hold or Ryoga's hand. While walking through a cave made to make couples bang each other stupid.
"You okay?" he asked, and his voice was like someone had sent a feather down her spine.
"Yes, thanks for asking!" Ukyo sniffed. "Alright, look. Maybe holding hands isn't the best approach here. Hold onto my spatula instead."
She waited for him to release her hand. He didn't.
"Let go," she said. Then she lifted her arm up into the air and tried to shake him off. "Uh, hey! Do you mind?! Let go of my hand!"
"What do you mean?" Ryoga asked. He then repeated the gesture, and accidentally launched her off the ground. Still holding hands, but being bounced up and down like this was extremely disconcerting to say the least. "I'm not holding you. You're holding me."
Huh? Wait a minute, what? Ukyo tried to pull her hand away and... Nothing.What the hell...? What is this? Why are their hands sticking together like -
"Boo!" a spooky ghost said, suddenly popping out through the wall Ukyo was leaning against.
"Yipe!" she, ahem, yiped and leaped away. Right into Ryoga's arms. The ghost cackled and then retreated. "Ooh! I'll give that ghost a piece of my -" She made to step away, and quickly found this to be a lot more challenging than she'd expected. Largely because she was trying to drag along a big useless lump of perpetually lost meat. "Hibiki, let go."
"I'm not doing anything, you're holding onto me."
Ukyo's eye twitched. She tried to pull her cheek off Ryoga's chest. It wouldn't budge. Not an inch." It's the clothes," Ukyo suddenly realised. "They must be magnetising us or something."
"Eh? That's not how magnets work..." Ryoga mumbled.
"Magically magnetising, you idiot!"
"Hey, this isn't my fault!" Ryoga complained. "I'm not the one that jumped at some fake looking ghost!"
"Anyone would jump at that!" Ukyo countered. "I can't imagine what kind of tough person wouldn't!"
<hr>
Further on down the cave, Ranma was trying really hard to not stare at Akane. He didn't quite have the nerve to do it. He couldn't tell her. He didn't have the nerve to tell her that he'd seen everything just now. Right now she was wearing a fairly sensible ensemble, nothing too revealing, just a plain old top and skirt. But...
"Now, don't you dare jump out at people again! Do you hear me?" Akane said, squat down and wagging her finger at a trio who were wearing the lamest ghost costumes imaginable. White bed sheets with faces scrawled on in sharpies. "It's not nice to try to spook people like that."
"We're sorry miss."
You know, it was weird, but seeing her like that was kind of working for him. It was weird. She was at her most uncute, but...He was definitely feeling something today. Maybe today he should try being nice? In spite of their surroundings they had a pretty good atmosphere going on today, maybe they could, you know...
"What's with you all of a sudden? You're as red as a beetroot."
"No, you're as red as a beetroot!" Ranma scoffed. Genius move, playboy. For his next trick he walked two paces and a vampire cutout popped in from out of nowhere. A super busty female vampire in a slinky black dress who was showing more leg than she probably actually had leg to show.
"You know... the horror here seems to have a weird theme going for it," Akane said. "It's lame, but there's definitely a theme."
"I'm not seeing it," Ranma said. Meanwhile a trio of oiled up and extremely muscular Frankentsein's monsters wearing naught but a jock strap squat thrust through the tunnel. "Say, where'd Ryoga and Ukyo get to?"
"I dunno, maybe we should leave them alone," Akane said. "To be honest, I kind of think they make a cute couple. Don't you think?"
"Hey, you said something sensible for once! Nice work!"
For some reason Akane elbowed him in the chest. Huh? What'd he do this time? Hadn't he complimented her just now? What did he do wrong? Also... "Hey, you can take your elbow away now."
"No," Akane grunted. "No, I really can't. I can't get my arm away."
Huh? Really? "How clumsy can you get?" Ranma asked. "Here let me!"
Ranma grabbed hold of Akane's arm and gave her a nice hard push - but only wound up pushing the two of them along right up until they hit a wall. Akane's arm slid around to his side, but at the same time her back was pressed into his chest and her other arm was up against the other side of Ranma's hips. Not exactly the most dignified position for them to be in, but now the two of them were well and truly stuck together.
"I don't know!" Akane yelled, struggling in vain to pull herself away. "How clumsy can you get?!"
"It's these clothes! There's something up with them!" Ranma yelled. Then he sniffed. "Hey, you smell that? I've been getting it ever since we came in here."
"Never mind the smell -" Akane began, but then she noticed the perfume bottles hanging from the ceiling. "Wait a minute. Something weird is going on here... Are we sure this is supposed to be some horror themed attraction?"
"Well sure, what else might it be?" Ranma asked. Then the wall gave away and the two of them landed on a giant heart shaped bed and, from somewhere, music from Barry White's discography began to play. "This all seems perfectly in line with a horror themed attraction to me!"
“...why do you find classic Jazz connected with horror?” Akane asked. She squirmed a little bit, which was causing certain interesting reactions from Ranma.
“Pops has a lot of very dumb training ideas.” Ranma said, and then shuddered.
<hr>
Have you ever tried to untie a knot but wound up making the knot even bigger and more complicated? If so: Welcome to Ukyo's world, where she was being compelled against her will to listen to the strong powerful heartbeat of an extremely stupid, handsome hunk of a boy that she had absolutely zero romantic intentions towards. None. Zilch. Zip.
"Hibiki, if that hand winds up stuck to my butt yours will be in a sling by the end of the day," Ukyo warned.
"Sorry," Ryoga said, and carefully repositioned his hand. It was already stuck to her body, but... It was funny. If two parts of them were in contact, that was it. They were staying in contact. But there was some wiggle room for them to move around, while being forced to stay in contact. Riiiight up until that contact had some form of sexual connotation and from there, that was it. They were stuck.
One core problem with this was that Ukyo's legs were kind of, sort of not in any position to do any walking, and with her head stuck ear to chest she couldn't very well see where they were going either, so all she could really do was guess from the side view where to go, and pray Ryoga was actually properly following her instructions.
"The perverts who run this place sure don't play fair," Ukyo complained.
"You're not kidding!" another voice called out. "Hello! Oh, thank goodness! Someone else lost in the cave!"
"Hibiki, turn," Ukyo said. Ryoga initially turned in completely the wrong direction because of course he did, but eventually Ukyo got to see them. A perfectly ordinary couple by the looks of things. Holding hands, wearing the same kind of clothes that they were. "Hi there! So, are you two stuck together as well?"
They held up their joined hands and shook them around violently. Yeah. Real nasty trick this.
"Listen, the pair of you. Try to be careful," the girl warned. "The spirits here will try all sorts of dirty tricks to get you to hook up."
"We should know," the boy said. "We came in here to hook up with this other couple that got way ahead of us, but then we wound up stuck together and - well -"
The two of them gave each other an extremely steamy look.
"I hate your guts," the girl said, but to Ukyo's ears her tone was saying "I would fuck you raw right now if I had even an inch less of self respect than I actually have."
"I hate you too," the boy replied, but the lust from his voice was so obvious you could build a nice and sturdy house out of it. "You see? We can't stand each other normally, but..."
"We've found a resting place," the girl said. "Nice food, some water."
"And some lapdancing spirits to keep you nice and entertained while you rest."
"Not a chance," Ryoga said, and he continued walking. In the wrong direction, so Ukyo coughed until he got it right. "We need to find Ranma and Akane before something terrible happens!"
"Oh, you mean that pigtailed boy and the girl with the bowl cut? They're at the resting place right now. They looked even more tangled up than the pair of -"
"Gangway!"
Off they charged down the tunnel that the couple had come from. As for that couple, they let out a low whistle. Then let go of each other's hands. Then they took off their clothes and then their skin, and then picked that up so it could be neatly tidied away.
"Gosh, but those two really need to get laid," one of the cave spirits that had been the boy said.
"I don't know, those other two seem like they need it more," the former girl said. "They already seemed kind of into each other already."
“Yeah but, they have that tsundere thing going on. They’d fuck in the middle of an argument by the time they finish High School without any inteference from us.”
“We’re still going to push them to do it now though.”
“Oh totally, it’s just going to be really easy for them. Even with <i>that room</i> it's going to be a challenge getting the other pair to let off some steam.”
And in saying that, the two spirits let out the inevitable evil laugh. Well... An evil horny laugh.
- Ranma and Akane have a tsun-off which may or may not end in banging
- Ryoga and Ukyo are somehow both stripped naked by some prank. Will they give in?
- Ranma and Akane somehow escape their room and start investigating the tunnel.
- Something else.
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