Story: Hoola Hoopnosis

Nabiki was feeling pretty good about herself. Recruiting Akane's two friends was a really aggressive tactical move, and if there's anything she liked it was smart and aggressive tactical moves. It was probably just behind 'dancing like a hula slut' and 'brainwashing others to like being a hula slut' on her list of favourite things. Probably under 'money' too.

Which is why she was walking out of the meeting room with a distinctive swing to her hips. She was very much looking forward to their first get together. The four of them. Together. Dressed up like hula girls, practising their dance while plotting and scheming how to brainwash the rest of the school.

Flash.

"Oh!" a tiny voice said. "I thought that was Akane for a moment. Oh dear."

Her hand reached out and without looking she grabbed hold of a collar, and gave it a good hard tug. There was less resistance than expected ,and when she designed to look she realised why. It was a boy that she had seen on occasion stalking and taking pictures of her little sister.

"Hikaru Gosunkugi, is it not?" Nabiki said. She didn't wait for him to answer (it amounted to "Oh dear god she knows my name") and instead pushed him into the room. "As chairman of the newly founded disciplinary committee, I hereby sentence you to punishment."

"Wh-what for?"

Nabiki looked at the camera and quirked an eyebrow.

"Anyway. Your punishment for being a pervert is to watch me dance."

"That doesn't sound like a terrible - I mean! Please don't! Anything but that!"

Nabiki rolled her eyes. Really. The acting was so transparently bad. The Briar Patch. Whatever. She was going to do this either way anyway. Might as well make him suffer anyway though. So she tied his sleeves together and shoved him into a closet.

"You have to watch through a crack," Nabiki said, and he whimpered pathetically. “Awww what’s wrong Hikaru? Aren’t you used to watching girls through cracks in doors and holes in walls?”

“You monster!” He cried out. She slammed the door, then tugged off her uniform to reveal her hula clothes underneath, and then immediately set about dancing. "Oh, I get it, you're trying to hypnotise me! Well, it won't work! I'm fully familiar with all manner of mysticism! Including the methods to resist hypnosis!"

Goodness me would you listen to that? He was actually showing some backbone. Well, let's see how long he lasts when she starts to sing? "Alloa hoi-"

"Mistress this miserable slave I will do anything you ask."

Oh. Well, that was... disappointing. She barely got to do any work with her hips at all there. Somehow Nabiki expected this is what be what he would be like in bed as well. Talk a good game, then last less than the blink of an eye.

Nabiki had been programed to want to brainwash people and this still felt slimy.

"Okay, you can come out of the closet now," Nabiki said. Then she remembered that she had tied up his sleeves. That might make it difficult for him to open up the door. Therefore, she left the room to get some water because she was a mite thirsty, and by the time she came back he'd used his feet to fumble his way out, somehow getting his own trousers on top of his head in the process.

"How may I serve you, mistress?" Hikaru asked. Nabiki rolled her eyes.

"We could do with some more boys on the team," Nabiki said. "I would have you arrange this."

"Am I to be a sex slave?" He said, sounding very excited about that.

"No," Nabiki said. “And stop with the sniveling slave act. The brainwashing doesn’t make you act like that.”

“What’s the point of me being brainwashed if you’re not going to use me as your sex toy?”

Nabiki smiled, “To recruit actually attractive men to use as my sex toys and enforcers.”

“...damn it.”

This was the closest to real sex that this boy would ever actually get.

<hr>

Betty fell to the ground, Dr. Tofu’s shaking somehow transfering over enough momentum to make the plastic skeleton fall off its hook.

This did not help him get free in any way. How embarrassing. If Betty couldn't help then his only hope was for someone to come along and let him free, and it didn't seem like Kasumi would be coming back soon. This was quite bad. His reputation would take a massive hit from this.

Meanwhile, outside several elderly people were watching the practice. “Is he going to dance out yet?”

“I don’t know. Did you see the way Kasumi walked in? It was like my wife when I came back from the war. His hips might be broken.”

“Damn. Or maybe he died.”

“Lucky man.”

Back inside, he was doomed and there was nothing he could do about it.

Then a section of one of his clinic’s walls exploded outwards. "Nihao! Shampoo come to return medical book!"

"Shampoo! Thank goodness you're here!" Doctor Tofu said. His former assistant! "I need your help!"

"Aiyah! Shampoo not that kind of girl!" Shampoo gasped. No! She'd misunderstood the situation! "Only joke! So, nice nice girl finally get some? About time. See later, nice Doctor! Good luck with nice nice girl, you two make cute couple. Send Shampoo wedding invite!"

And then she left. Through a different wall than she came in through. Well, that was less than helpful. Back to waiting. It was going to be hard keeping his mind occupied. He might even get so bored that he starts singing that stupid obnoxious song to keep track of time. Here's hoping it didn't get that bad.

"Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall... Ninety nine bottles of beer..." Tofu muttered to himself. Then the door to his clinic opened up.

"Nihao again!" Shampoo said. Oh, she'd come back? "Great grandmother say it rude to leave man tied up to bed. Shampoo untie now."

<hr>

"Hey, Dai!"

"Yeah, Hiroshi?"

"You ever think sometimes, we're getting more attention than we really should? I mean, like we exist for the sole purpose of being a grounding factor for a character who is way more fantastic than anyone else around and for some reason we've suddenly got a whole lot more focus for pretty much no damned good reason?"

"Nah," Daisuke said. "I think you need to cut down on the soda, it's making your brain bubble."

“Hello? You’ve been talking over me about metafictional concepts for the past fifteen minutes.” Gosunkugi said. "So, I overheard something very interesting. Apparently some girls are going to be practising hula dancing in the gym. Wanna watch?"

The two young men gasped, clutching their hands to their chests. "How <b>dare</b> you suggest such a scandalous thing," Hiroshi said.

"Quite right!" Daisuke nodded. "The very idea. That we might miss out on such a delightful treat - how absurd!"

“So, like, will they be dancing in just their regular clothing or will they have the full skirt and coconut top ensemble?” Hiroshi said, “Like, one is a bit more interesting than the other.”

"I saw them carrying the full outfits," Gosunkugi said. Ding ding ding! We have a winner! The three boys went off towards the gym with almost a skip in their step, each of them quite eager to witness this practise session for themselves.

"You know, I'm amazed nobody's worked out about this window yet," Daisuke said. "You can easily get a really good view of the gym from holy shit this is hot."

"Shh!" Hiroshi quickly shushed. The last thing they needed was being heard now and holy shit he wasn't kidding. There were three girls in there wearing traditional hula outfits. Couldn't see their faces, so he couldn't figure out who it was, but... damn. Nothing but coconuts over their boobs, and those grass skirts were made of some kind of silvery material that shimmered in the light. Couple that with a trio of trim gyrating tummies and - damn, this surpassed his wildest expectations.

"Aloha hoi..." Gosunkugi sang, and you know there was the faint sound of music coming from the gym as well. "Aloha hoi..."

“Aloha hoi…” Hirohsi said, drooling a bit from the sight of the girls dancing. For good reason. Those trim, fit tummies bared to the world, those barely covered chests. And let's not forget those skirts, which may cover their legs but if anything the promise those thin strips of whatever were making that if you watched carefully enough you <i>might</i> see some leg... Too rich a promise to look away from.

"E ke onaona noho i ka lipo..." Hiroshi, Gosunkugi, the girls and the music all sang at once. The only thing missing was seeing their faces. "One fond embrace," They were standing at the perfect position, circling around each other while dancing, to ensure that it was impossible for them to see their faces from the window. "A ho'i a'e au," but you know what, watching three girls hula dancing like this, spinning around while running a figure eight formation... that was really really hot. "Until we meet again." So hot that all he could do was sigh and fall completely under their spell.

"Oh man, that was the best," Daisuke said. "Gos, we really owe you one for sharing this treat."

"Not a problem," Gosunkugi said. He looked between the two boys. "Um... You're not brainwashed?"

"Huh?" Daisuke blinked. Then noticed that Hiroshi was still staring through the window with glazed over eyes. Even though the girls had left. "Oh, that was supposed to be hypnotic? Uh... That stuff doesn't work on me."

"It doesn't?"

"Nah! Had a once in a lifetime incident with a spiral staircase and a bungee cord, left me completely immune to mind control."

"Oh," Gosunkugi said. He reached behind himself and pulled out a nasty looking nail and a hammer. "THen... I must keep you silent for the sake of the hula! And peace in the school! Hold him, Hiroshi!"

"Hold on!" Daisuke said, holding up his hands. Both boys stopped, watching him warily. "So, uh... this is in aide of getting all the girls in school into grass skirts and really into sexy hula dancing?" Gosunkugi nodded. Hiroshi merely drooled. "Then I'm all in! No brainwashing required. So, uh, this is gonna end with Akane and girl form Ranma in that gear too, right?"

"Guhuhuhuhu..." Hiroshi laughed, quite perversely.

"Good enough for me!" Nabiki said, bursting out of the building from a door near the window they had been peeking in through, fully decked out in her hula gear still and dancing. Next to here were Yuka and Sayuri, similarly dressed up except with their backs turned to the boys. "You two, take these two through their paces."

"Can I pass?" Sayuri asked. "I'm actually more into girls."

"Oh no that means I have to handle two cute boys all by myself," Yuka said. "Oh no won't someone please spare me from that awful fate - Oh well! First one to kiss my tummy gets to pick our position!"

1. Meanwhile from talking with Dr. Tofu Shampoo manages to deduce that Kasumi has been brainwashed. How does she use this knowledge?
2. Shortly, Ranma/Akane's friends start their subtle attempts to prep them for induction.
3. The first meeting begins! Akane senses something is up and tries to spy - but Nabiki's ready for her.
4. Something else