Honestly now. You go to all this trouble to run away and hide from this crazy psycho chick honour bound to kill you, and now? One whimper and plead from that uncute chick, he's out here in the streets trying to find her! This was why he didn't want anything to do with girls, they cast a spell on you and you wind up wasting your damned time.
Then again, the sweet taste of her lips almost made it worth...
Ranma slapped himself. Concentrate! Think about something other than the taste, the feel, the texture, the warmth, the... What was he doing again?
Right. Shampoo. He was trying to find Shampoo because apparently Akane was hooked on her lips as well as his, and the withdrawal had made her so sick that she'd wound up needing to rest in bed. If that tough macho girl could be reduced to that kinda state like that, she might not ever be in condition to kiss him ever again!
Ranma hopped up onto the roof, heart pounding in his chest. He... he was doing this to make Akane feel better, because it was the right thing to do. Not because he liked her, and certainly not because he wanted to kiss her again and again and again...
He squatted down on a rooftop and shielded his eyes, looking around like a meerkat peeking out of its hole on lookout duty. "Where is that psycho lurking?" Ranma groused. He hopped across another set of rooftops and continued lookout duty. "Man, how the hell did she keep finding us so damned easily anyhow?"
Because her martial arts training involved hunting, and probably also involved avoiding being hunted. He was looking for a needle in a haystack. If the needle moved. And the haystack was the size of a city. It didn't help that his lips were starting to twitch again. If he wasn't careful, he'd be the one bedridden before long.
"Where the hell is she?"
"Where the hell am I now?!"
That was a weird echo. Unless... Ranma slowly turned around, and beheld an utter fool. Staring up at the sky, carrying a bulky umbrella over his shoulder and a stupidly big rucksack on his back. Ugh, just what he didn't need! Maybe if he slunk away...
But then again... Maybe this idiot had seen Shampoo wandering around on his lost travels? No, what was he thinking? Even if he had seen her, the directions he'd give would be less than worthless. His first instinct was the right one, best to slink away before he noticed -
An umbrella shot out in front of him.
"Where do you think you're going, Saotome?" Ryoga asked.
"Oh hey Ryoga, didn't see you there!" Ranma said. He then waited a beat. "Well, it's been a blast but I've got to find a whole other stalker, so see you!"
“The only stalker here is you! Following Akane around when she clearly doesn’t want you!” Ryoga declared arbitrarily. Which was kind of redundant because that's how he declared everything anyway. He grabbed Ranma by the pigtail and gave him a good hard yank back.
"Yeah, it's more Shampoo right now..."
"What was that?" Ryoga yelled. "Don't tell me... It can't be possible, but -"
Crap. He hadn't meant to let that out. The last thing they needed was funny rumours about those two hooking up. That way people might figure out they couldn't stop kissing each other even if they tried. When they tried! He meant when!
”She's in desperate need of hair care products?" Ryoga asked.
"No, you idiot! Shampoo's this chick that's been chasing me across China!"
Wait, Ryoga hadn't met Shampoo yet. Off in the whispers of the wind, he heard Akane's sweet voice drift in over the Furinkan air. It was conveying an important message to Ranma, a vital dispatch from the girl he was out her in aide of.
"You total idiot, watch your stupid mouth!" Akane's gentle voice admonished.
The meaning of that message was immediately elaborated on by way of Ryoga's umbrella attempting to crush Ranma's skull.
"Ranma! You have a sweet and innocent girl already engaged to you!" Ryoga snarled. "But you dare... You dare cheat on her with some foreign floozy?!"
"No, no! It's not what it looks like!"
"Oh yeah, then why were you out here tonight?"
"Well, I was looking for Shampoo because -"
Smash. That should have been the sound of Ranma’s bones breaking under Ryoga’s righteous fury. However, Ranma was rude enough to move. So Ryoga only broke a mailbox.
"Sit still and take your righteous punishment!"
"Have you been talking with Kuno?" Ranma asked. "You should stay away from him, he's a real weird guy."
"I'll take that into consideration after I turn you into a corpse!"
Okay, that time he did get a knee to the gut. He was taking this seriously, so it was time for Ranma to do the same. He backflipped down the street and got into a battle stance right as Ryoga rushed in, the two of them ready to duke it out until one of them couldn't stand any more!
And then it started to rain.
Instead of Ryoga’s fist of fury, Ranma was hit in the chest. Her suddenly larger chest. By an irate piglet. Who started beating against her chest - er, phrasing. Pounding against - No, no... Thumping? Is that safe? Thumping his little piggy hooves against her chest.
"So much for that," Ranma said, grabbing the pig by the nape of its neck. "You gonna behave, or do I have to find a butchers?"
"Now, Ranma," Kasumi gently admonished. "Don't torment Akane's pet."
"He's doing plenty to torment me!" Ranma complained. Then took note of the older Tendo sister and her jaw fell a little. "Uh... What happened with you? I've never seen you in that getup before."
That getup being a pristine white robe that practically glowed. There was a golden staff in one hand, and the other held a box with what looked like a lot of scrolls in ancient Chinese
"Oh, nothing much," Kasumi said, smiling angelically. "I went on a six month long epic quest to return three divine items to their rightful place after Miss Shampoo borrowed them." She leaned in and furrowed her brow. "Something about that cute yokai puppy reminded me of you."
P-Chan slipped out of Ranma's grip and started trying to nibble her pigtail, which made it quite difficult for her to take that all in. "Huh? Six months?" Ranma said while struggling against the little annoying pig. "I just saw you when I left!"
"I know, there was this time travelling well involved... Oh my, look at the time! I simply must get home."
Right. He had a pretty good handle on Akane and Nabiki by now, but Kasumi... Man, that girl really did confuse him at -
Did she just say she was returning three sacred items that Shampoo had taken?
"Quick, Ryoga! I'm going that way!" Ranma said while pointing directly ahead of herself. As expected Ryoga's terribad direction sense took hold and he bolted off at full pace in the completely wrong direction.
"Hello Ranma, I won't be long!" Kasumi said while leaving the Tendo compound. "Oh, is that me? I suppose I'll be less time than I thought..."
<hr>
Would you believe it but Akane was all of a sudden feeling much, much better. All it took was indulging in a little Chinese treat, and she was right as rain! Shampoo's smooches were definitely very different from Ranma. He was still kind of shy about it, even when he was going all in on the hungry deep french kisses, there was still a bit of hesitation to it. Like, you could tell he was holding back a little bit, not quite going all in, maybe telling himself that he didn't <i>really</i> like it, which made Akane want to <i>make</i> him like it, and that made the whole thing that much more intense.
Not with Shampoo. No sir. She went all in. From the word go her hands were taking off and tossing aside Akane's clothes, then immediately went about touching her body in ways that Akane never imagined would feel good. It was obvious she had some level of shiatsu training, because she was primarily using the tips of her fingers. Pressing into Akane's body like a keyboard player. Several times now Akane had wanted to moan, but found herself muted by Shampoo's mouth pressed firmly against hers, practically vacuum packed.
"Akane, I've come to... woah!"
Oh, that was Ranma's voice. Curiously enough that seemed to be bringing her back down from a rather glorious high. Which was funny because Ranma’s voice had gotten very high just as Akane had gone down.
"Your clothes! Where are your clothes?!" Ranma scream-whispered.
“Ah…. uhhh…”
“In trash.” Shampoo said. "Which is where they find your body if you interfere."
This did not seem to deter Ranma in the slightest for the next thing Akane knew she was being torn from her sweet chinese blanket and into her fiance’s arms. Which were, admittedly, also good.
"Oh, hi Ranma fancy seeing you here," Akane slurred, and then grabbed hold of Ranma's face to get herself some sugar. Sure, it was a little greedy, but she was running off a well deserved high right about now so cut her some slack.
"Mmmf!" Ranma moaned. Oh, that was so cute when she did that. Yum! Ranma had been pretty stingy with his girl form recently but its taste was oh so sweet! Almost as sweet as her body, which Akane had no trouble pushing herself up against.
"Stupid girl Ranma leave airen alone!" Shampoo hissed, pulling Akane away from her and - ohhh yes please some more of this!
"Hey, you Chinese floozy! Quit hogging the smooches!"
For a moment there Akane felt like she was a tennis ball being hit back and forth between two players on either side of the net. First one of them would angrily grab hold of Akane from the other's grip, then their lips would meet - Akane figured it was probably her initiating it every time at this point - then they'd lose concentration and in the process open themselves up to letting the other grab Akane away.
"Leave airen alone!"
"Get your paws off my fiance!"
At some point or another it had wound up with Akane sitting on her bed turning her head left and right, with Ranma and Shampoo sitting on either side of her taking their kisses in turn while making their protests.
"Here are some milk and cookies to make you feel better," Kasumi said, wearing a weird glowing white robe for some reason. "And, please. Could the three of you put your clothes on? You'll catch a real cold if you're not careful."
- With Shampoo back Soun and Genma decide that clearly Ranma needs to marry one of the other Tendo Girls. Nobody is happy with this idea.
- Because he always shows up when least convenient, Ryoga is going to try and court Akane.
- Because Shampoo is nothing if not through while getting those magical items she also informed her Great Grandmother about her new wife.
- Next day, Akane has to head off to school with Shampoo hanging off her arm. Cue rumour mill!
- Something else
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