Monday 15 July 2024

Story: RCM: Origin of Domestic Hellhounds

 


So this is the human realm, is it? Tangrulath looked around with no small amount of disdain. She'd not wound up in a human settlement upon emerging, which was a relief. Nonetheless, she was in a nice and pleasant area, with birds chirping, insects making their own subtle noises to add to the ambience. It was relaxing. Exactly what she needed after the enormous stress of... everything that had happened to her of late piling in all at once.


And she hated it. Naturally.


"Stupid foliage, stupid picturesque wooded plain, with a strangely circular clearing with little... rabbits and assorted woodland fauna flitting around being all cute and adorable and - Will you stop petting the bunny?!"



"Sorry," her human slave recoiled. Grr! She hadn't meant to bring him along as well, but apparently she wasn't able to avoid it. He was also trying suspiciously hard to not look directly at her.


Well, she couldn't see why not! Here she was, putting her body on full display in this sexy bikini armour, and as far as she could tell this body was rather an attractive female form. Large breasts, wide hips, a slender physique with healthy thighs... And her face might well be cuter than the rabbit!


"If I'm going to have to suffer this indignity," she warned. "Then I must insist that you drool over my body. Bask in lust. At least then I might feel somewhat demonic, still."


"Uh...?" he muttered. "That might not get you the kind of attention you want?"


The kind of attention she wanted? How dare he make an assumption about what she wanted! If she wanted to set up a pole in the middle of the nearest human settlement and shake her ass for money, she'd do it!


... Not that she was especially enamoured of the idea, but it was the principle of the thing.


Anyway. First things first. She had to get used to her new body. Luckily she had some new equipment, so let's see how she does against whatever was nearby. A slime would be perfect. They were perfectly weak enemies, the ultimate starting point for any hero, or adventuring type and -


"Where the fuck are all the slimes?" Tangrulath demanded, standing impatiently and petulantly in the middle of this wooded area, genuinely frustrated.


"Hunted to extinction," her human slave replied. "I'm sorry, is that what you were looking for?"


Hunted... to extinction?! What?!


"But slimes breed super fast," Tangrulath said. "You can't have - That's impossible!"


"They were becoming a major pain in the ass, so the various kingdoms got together and, uh, systematically wiped them out."


Systematically wiped them - But that's! Erasing a species from the face of the planet was supposed to be one of the most evil things you could do, and humanity flat out does it? Just like that?! Because slimes were a 'pain in the ass'?!


"Hold on, hold on, why were they a pain in the -"


"Because they breed like wildfire and were starting to exhaust our water supply..." was the answer. "I mean, trust me on this, the last thing you want or need is to wake up one day with a family of slimes playing cards on your chest. It's really gross."


"I'll show you <i>really gross!</i>" Tangrulath spat at him. Oooh, she was sore about this! "Alright. Alright, fine. What do adventurers hunt these days to help them get a handle on how strong they are?"


As if in answer, a rabbit jumped onto her foot. She looked down at it. It looked up at her. With its beady black eyes, fuzzy brown coat, big floppy ears, twitching nose, and - The demon reached out a hand to pick this thing up. It would be so easy to do, right? Strike this thing with all her strength, see how she fared and - 


"Sooooo cute~" she sang, snuggling the little beast up against her while it apparently didn't like that very much. "So cute, so cute, so cute!"


Its feet pounded against her, but she didn't even feel it thanks to the magical armour she was wearing. So soft! So fluffy! So fuzzy! So - 


"Daw," her human slave went, which broke the spell and she let go of the bunny, and it hopped off into the clearing never to be seen again.


"That didn't happen," Tangrulath said. "Do you understand?"


"What didn't happen?" he replied. Oh, that idiot!


"Me playing with the bunny like a cutesy obsessed human!" she warned. "That didn't happen! Is that clear?"


"What didn't - " he began again, but then she pinched his cheeks to make him compliant. "Ow, ow! That's what I mean! I'm saying that it didn't happen by behaving like it didn't!"


Oh. "I knew that," she sniffed. "I was just testing you."


Anyway. This didn't solve her core problem of, y'know, not having any idea of how her strength actually measured up. I mean.  Rabbit? Really? Those things were tiny, and it clearly wasn't a threat. She needed something a little bit meatier to really try herself out on. Like a bandit, or a -


"God fucking dammit!"



Like a magic spell coming from that nearby clearing. A warp spell of some sort, what the shit?! She rushed in, looked around a tree and saw... A perfectly nondescript boy, possibly Japanese, wearing rather odd clothes, hair a little bit on fire, but just a tiny bit, looking around at his surroundings seemingly pretty pissed off.


"Stupid goddamn truck, watch where you're going!" the boy yelled. "Urgh! No, no, no. Don't tell me I'm in one of those... Uh? Stat sheet?"


A strange, translucent monitor appeared right in front of him. She couldn't see it very well from here, but those were numbers and letters right? They were reversed so she couldn't quite read them, but - 


"Oh great," he groaned, then flopped down onto the grass. "At least I have a cheat skill. Well! I guess I'd better stop talking aloud like this and come up with a plan for what to do next..."


A cheat skill...? Hold on now! Could it be...? Was this one of those so called 'destined heroes' she'd heard so much about? Kukuku! This could be her lucky break. If she played her cards right, then she could wind up making good use of this guy. Who cares about her own strength when she could use her feminine wiles to -


"You think he's cute don'tcha?" her human slave whispered.


"Yeah... I mean, no!" Tangrulath insisted. "Anyway. You, sit tight and don't say a word. I'm gonna go recruit him to our sinister cause."


"Our cause is left handed?"


"You know what I meant!" she snapped back at him. "Now... first thing I need to establish with him is what his cheat skill is... Kukuku, from there the rest of the dominoes will fall, one by one by one!"


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