Story: NGE Oversynch

How do most Monopoly games end? The answer is simple: Arguments. Recriminations, accusations, mistrust, broken friendships, a family rendered asunder. It's a wonder anyone actually picks the game up in the first place when considering how miserable a time everyone seems to have. Given the game's history as a critique on the landlord system, well, one should probably read something into that. It sounds like a metaphor for something.

This game, though, was the exception. Here, we have three naked sweaty bodies laying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, their features shifting in a manner reminiscent of watching waves on the beach. At one moment one of them might have blue hair with red stripes, only for it to shift to a black shade. Their facial features were much the same way - Rei's eyes, Shinji's nose, Asuka's mouth, or some combination thereof, and down their bodies as well.

Not that one could easily tell the difference between Rei and Asuka's bodies these days. Shinji's was easier. Toned, muscular, like he'd spent every day since he was six at the gym for a good solid hour. The other two had large swollen breast, slender physiques, toned large round butts, mighty hips, slender healthy legs with thick juicy thighs.

Oh, but the difference was there  for the discerning eye. You could actually sort of see it more easily like this. Asuka's flesh was more tanned than Rei's. Not that this is especially difficult, Rei is not quite an albino but she's very damn near it. Watch that, and the difference between their bodies becomes more obvious. You can see that Asuka's butt is bigger than Rei's, that Rei's breasts are rounder and a half size bigger than Asuka's, that Rei's legs are thicker while Asuka's are longer and her waist is thinner, and -

"So which of us won...?" asked one of them, who we will decide is Shinji right now because this one still had a penis and the other two did not. It's arbitrary, but it's all we have right now.

"Who the fuck cares?" the one we'll arbitrarily call Asuka asked.

"We all won," Rei said breathily. Indeed, that was... intense. This was a point they could agree on. The effect was rather like a pressure valve being turned to let out a bit of trapped air or water. They'd all needed that. They'd needed it badly.

It was pretty much the only conclusion they could rationally reach. The cards and money were strewn about the floor, covered in some body fluid or another. The board had been kicked under the wardrobe at some point, the pieces were scattered, the hotels and houses had somehow all gathered in one corner of the room into a series of rows, like streets. Which was weird, but they were too blissed out to question it.

They all let out a uniform and contented sigh of relief. Sheer, total, blissful relief. Nothing could ruin this moment. Even if, for example, Misato opened that door and scowled at them and admonished them for their behaviour none of them would be unhappy. Not least because they'd already brainwashed her to be on their side anyway, so...

There really wasn't anything that could knock them out of this sexual high, nothing in the world could -

An alarm rose out over the skies of Tokyo 3. Ah. Oh yes, of course. An Angel. That would certainly do the job.

"Fuck!" all three of them jumped up as one. "Verdammt! Angel, now?! Of all times?!"

They said that in panicked unison. Shinji tried to put on Asuka's skirt, while Rei was pulling on Shinji's shirt, and Asuka had grabbed Rei's underwear. They all stopped a moment, looked to one another, then changed bodies to be more fitting - which went fine until Asuka grabbed Shinji's trousers, Rei grabbed Asuka's blouse and Shinji found himself pulling on Rei's socks. Which didn't fit his feet.

"Okay! Alright! Calm down!" Asuka said. "We're all on an immense sexual high the likes of which no human being has probably ever had in history before owing to our odd nature, and we're all panicked and flustered, but that's not any reason to -"

She grabbed her underwear from Shinji. Not that it should embarrass her any, but there you go. 

"The Angel will not wait for us to finish our slapstick routine," Rei said. "For all we know, it could launch a devastating energy attack on Tokyo 3 at any moment."

There was a deathly silence that hung in the air for a moment. It soon passed. Nonetheless, they didn't like the idea of begging fate to pay attention to them, so the three quickly dressed in the proper clothes and dashed out of Misato's place as fast as their - 

"Scheisse!" Shinji slapped his forehead. "Misato's not here! We can't take her car!"

"Oh, that's not a problem then," Rei said, not even breaking stride. "It means that we will not have another year or two shaved off our already short lifespans."

That was a joke at the expense of Misato's absolutely terrible driving, by the way, just in case you missed that. Because that woman behind the wheel of a car might be less dangerous than an N2 bomb on paper, it sure doesn't feel that way when you're riding shotgun.

=====

"I think someone somewhere just made a crack about my driving," Misato said, staring up at the ceiling in annoyance. Not because of the feeling about the joke, but rather the alarm. Best to make that clear. "We'd better get that Angel dealt with, we can pick up where we left... Uh..."

Ritsuko and Kaji were rather preoccupied right now, as a matter of fact. Not with each other. With staring at the Bridge Bunnies. The two men were still being super homoerotic right now, while Maya was apparently making a hard attempt to masturbate herself into a coma.

"Guys, you can stop now," Kaji said, but they all knew it was futile. If they weren't gonna stop when they heard the alarm, they werent' stopping for anything. "Angel attack? Come on, sex is nice. Really, really nice, but there's a time and place...?"

"You're using the 'time and place' argument?" Misato quirked an eyebrow. "Anyway, we can't leave them here, we need them on the bridge. The Commander will notice their absence."

"Oh, spank me senpai!" Maya (and shortly after this both the men) screamed in unison.

"Later! Later!" Ritsuko dismissed. "Angel first, kinks later! We won't have time to enjoy expressing ourselves with this newfound sexual liberation if the Angel -"

"If the Angel reaches Adam," Misato slowly finished. "And then triggers Third Impact, when... Oh, Ritsuko. You've been a really bad girl haven't you? No Kaji you cannot spank her!"

"I wasn't going to ask!" Kaji sniffed. "More to the point, what do we do about these guys? They're caught in a lust spiral, they''re not getting out of it any time soon."

"No, I will not suck your dick," Misato pointedly said. "Stop thinking lewd things when our lives are in danger. Priorities, Kaji! Priorities!"

"Urgh... When this whole mess is over with, I'd better be in that bed with you for a week this time..." Ritsuko grumbled. "Alright. Misato, you and I are required on the bridge as well. We should get there as soon as possible. Kaji, you stay here and try to stop them from being all over each other like this."

"How am I supposed to do that?" Kaji asked. "Aha! You see? Neither of you have any idea either! Hrm... Maybe a cold shower would do the job...?"

"Great thinking, they'll show up to work drenched," Misato sniffed. "Wait... Actually, if you hose one of them down -"

"The other two will feel it too and that might snap them out of it!" Ritsuko finished. "They can easily justify it by saying they were having a shower when the alarm rang -"

"Get to it Kaji! Find a hose while we get to the bridge!"

The two women rushed off out of there, leaving Kaji standing their by himself in a room where a gay woman was rubbing herself off and two ostensibly straight men were ravaging one another.

"Life is weird," was his only conclusion.