If someone had asked Hiroyuki Noburo what he expected to happen when he joined a school club that day, he would’ve answered something sensible. Something normal. Something reasonable. Maybe an afternoon of reading about haunted photocopiers and dusty old ghost stories. Maybe a bit of light teasing from his neighbour. Maybe - if he was really, truly lucky - a chance to casually chat with one cute girl.
He did <b>not</b> expect to be surrounded by six of them, each more eccentric than the last - nor to have them all staring at him with varying levels of intensity, suspicion, or barely-contained enthusiasm.
Romi slapped both hands on the desk like she was initiating diplomatic negotiations with a hostile nation. "Excellent! That settles it. Our first official activity as the Occult Club shall be - "
" - a complete disaster," Miyako muttered, arms folded so tightly her shoulders nearly reached her ears. Yuya sighed beside her, already resigned to whatever catastrophe awaited.
" - investigating this ‘Love Spell of the Music Room!’" Romi finished brightly, unfazed by the gloom around her.
Hiroyuki felt something twist in his stomach. A love spell… involving music… hidden around the school… with six girls involved… Oh no. This felt exactly like episode two of <i>My Ghost Bride Is My Class Rep.</i> This was how misunderstandings happened. This was how mobs with baseball bats happened.
He opened his mouth to object, but Maru stepped forward first - posture perfect, eyes burning with righteous intensity.
"Indeed! A noble undertaking! A mystery to unravel and a potential menace we must seal for the good of humanity!"
Miss Bodyguard slipped a notepad out of her uniform with magician-like finesse. "Please refrain from causing property damage. Or casualties. Or moral panic. Or suspicious noises. Or - "
"Yes, yes, we know," Romi sighed, waving her off. "No killing anyone for stepping on a tile weird."
Miss Bodyguard paused, considering this, then nodded as though acknowledging a regrettable but binding compromise.
Hiroyuki cleared his throat, summoning what courage he could. "S-So… what exactly do we do first?" He winced the moment the words left his mouth, realizing too late that the conversation had already surged ahead without him.
Yuya slid a book toward him with the exhausted finesse of someone handing over a stack of confessions. "Pretty obvious, isn’t it? Wish-granting spell, five hidden fragments, five locations. We investigate."
Miyako shot Hiroyuki a sharp glare, as if <i>he</i> were at fault for the spell’s existence. "And you don’t get to lead any team. Got it?"
"Huh? Why not?" he asked, genuinely bewildered.
"Because," she said - tone final, eyes narrowed, like this alone should be enough explanation.
Maru nodded sagely. Agreeing with Miyako's non-answer? Really now?! "Correct! A gentleman should not wander alone with a lady without proper supervision!"
"That’s not - !" Miyako sputtered, her face heating. "That has nothing to do with - !"
Miss Bodyguard tapped her notepad briskly. "Given Miss Aida’s alarming accident rate, a chaperone may be advisable."
Omitsu froze mid-fidget. "I-I’m not that accident-prone…"
"You tripped over air five minutes ago," Yuya said flatly.
"It was very strong air," Omitsu whispered, deeply wounded.
Romi clapped to get everyone's attention, obviously eager to move things along. "Alright! Let’s split into groups, everyone."
Hiroyuki felt hope flutter weakly in his chest. Maybe - <i>maybe</i> - he could get paired with someone calm. Someone normal. Someone he could have a nice, sweet, romantic moment with! Oh, who was he kidding? This was a harem story, there would be no sweet romantic moments for him to enjoy! Not yet, it's too soon! Romi scribbled on the whiteboard:
• School Roof
• Girls’ Locker Room
• Home Economics Larder
• Library
• Boiler Room
"Pick your location!" she announced, stepping back grandly.
A thoughtful silence fell as everyone read it. One could almost feel the calculation in the air between them all, as they were gaming it out one by one. Who would it be? Who would go where? Each choice was a delicate one. Clearly, he could not pick the girl's locker room. If he so much as suggested it, then he'd be jumped on by the girls.
On the other hand, he knew already that only a total lunatic would want to go there for an investigation. Even as a girl, if you're doing something like poking around, you're bound to be labelled as a creep or a pervert. But which of those choices would be -
Without warning, Maru’s hand shot up like she was invoking divine judgement. "The boiler room. Dark, cramped, forgotten… a perfect lair for suspicious entities."
Hiroyuki wasn’t sure whether she meant ghosts, delinquents, or martial-arts-proficient rats.
"I’m going with her," Miyako blurted.
Everyone turned. Slowly. Carefully. Like they were approaching a potentially explosive device.
Miyako flushed scarlet the moment she realized what she’d done. "W-What?! Someone has to keep her from knocking down the whole building! You know. For safety. She might see all those bricks and feel a compulsion to break them or something!"
Maru bowed, utterly earnest. "Your vigilance honours me, Miss Miyako."
Yuya smirked - the dangerous kind of smirk that promised future teasing. But later, when they weren't dealing with this mess.
Omitsu raised her hand timidly. "I-I’d like to go… to the r-roof. The breeze is nice. And the stairs aren’t that - "
She tripped while sitting down. Somehow. No, dear reader, I'm not sure how she did that either and nor was anyone present in the room.
Hiroyuki moved before thinking. "I’ll go with her," he said, surprising himself with his own decisiveness.
Omitsu squeaked - a sound between a mouse and a boiling kettle. "O-Okay…"
Yuya looked between them with narrowed, suspicious eyes. "You’re all ignoring so many red flags. So many."
Romi waved her off. "He seems responsible."
Miss Bodyguard leaned forward, scrutinizing Hiroyuki like a threat assessment algorithm. He sat back down immediately. Very responsibly.
Yuya selected her battlefield next. "Library. If someone planted fake clues, they’d want them to look credible." Wait, hold on, fake clues?! Why was she talking about that?! Nobody, absolutely nobody had brought up anything about 'fake clues'!
Romi brightened and moved on while our intrepid 'hero' was still internally griping about 'fake clues'. "Then I’ll investigate the girls’ locker room!"
Every head turned to her - again. Alarmed. Concerned. A little afraid. It was like someone had dropped a live grenade into the room.
"…Why?" Miyako asked, bracing for the worst. "Why would you want to... why do you want to volunteer for the girl's locker room? Don't you know - do you not understand what you're getting into?"
"Because I've not been in there!" Romi said. "Miss Bodyguard always makes me change in a completely different room. I would like to see it for myself!"
Miss Bodyguard raised a hand. "I shall sweep for traps."
"What traps are you expecting to find in there?!"
Romi blinked and tilted her head in obvious confusion. She's the one confused here?! Really! "But the bathroom at home has traps to keep intruders out. Are public bathrooms not the same?"
Yuya groaned loudly into her hands. "We’re getting shut down. I can feel the universe preparing the paperwork."
Romi clapped again, taking command and wagging her finger around, as if she hadn't just made everyone realise, as Yuya had, how thoroughly doomed this club actually was. "Alright! We regroup here in two hours with whatever we find."
"No dangerous situations," Miss Bodyguard warned firmly.
"No demolishing infrastructure," Maru added.
"No wandering off alone," Hiroyuki echoed.
"No pervert behaviour," Miyako said, eyeing Hiroyuki like a hawk.
"No fainting," Yuya added, pointing at Omitsu, who pouted but remained upright.
A distant bell rang, signalling the end of the period. Hiroyuki pressed a hand to his forehead. 'This is it. This is my life now. Running around a school with a bunch of weird girls. I’m going to die before midterms.'
The seven of them gathered their things and spilled into the hallway - a mismatched parade of ambition, nerves, and impending disaster. None of them noticed the faint metallic echo drifting from the music room. Twenty-four notes, played by no one.
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