Story: Curvy Rei

 

There's a lot going on right now, but it would be rude to ignore this new faction getting involved right after we introduced them right? I mean, it's tempting - sorely tempting - to follow Misato on a jiggletastic journey to the centre of the threat, the core of the conflict, all while her already alluring figure becomes, in a quite literal sense, sexually irresistible  by any sane measure.

Admittedly, there is something rather delicious about the author himself being sorely tempted in a story where temptation is ripe. It's just not normally centred on Misato. That, if anything, adds even more to the allure, more to the temptation. Alas... Artistic integrity beckons...

Dammit. Stupid artistic integrity.

Anyway, what were they up to now, this version of reality where they were able to actually put down the invasion of the Curvy Reis before it got anywhere? Right now, the pilots were pacing around like caged animals. More accurately, Asuka was. She vaguely felt like the others should be too, but Shinji was laying on a couch listening to music while Rei was staring at the monitor showing the alternative Shinji.

"Is he really that interesting to look at?" Asuka asked. "Or do you have a crush on him or something?"

"In the other world," Rei said. "It seems that he impregnated your alternative."

Asuka turned beet red. But then she shook it off, and looked to the monitor. Then compared it to the Shinji laying on the couch.

"I can see it," she reluctantly admitted. "That version of him is the porn parody version of that weedy shrimp. Therefore, it only makes sense that my double is also a perpetually horny porn parody - "

Rei flicked the channels, and showed the other room, containing Asuka taking care of what were obviously two little - 

"Cut that out!" Asuka snapped. She leaped for the remote, very obviously not wanting to watch herself nursing and giving in to her motherly instincts, which of course led to the two of them in a tumble on the floor.

"Girls," Shinji sighed wearily. "If I turn my head to look and I see the two of you wrestling, it might give me ideas."

It was not like him to be quite that passive aggressive, but his warning did at least work. Rei didn't mind. Asuka did. She pulled away, while Rei shifted back to looking at the monitor showing the other Shinji. Who had started doing push ups. Not the lame kind of push ups that aren't actually push ups. I'm talking proper form, proper technique, going all the way down and all the way back up.

"Verdammt..." Asuka whistled. "So that's the effect this mysterious Drive has on him, huh? Still, I'm pretty sure I could resist him if he - "

The other Shinji then began doing single arm pushups, tucking the other arm behind his back. Asuka, in response, bit hard into her index finger because she knew, she knew on a purely instinctive level that if she did not then she would make a noise that only dogs could hear. Or Rei. Rei probably could hear it too.

Rei bopped her on the head with a rolled up newspaper. It was like she'd read the redhead's mind - but no, she hadn't really.

"We need to be able to control ourselves," Rei said. "That is the purpose of this training. We need to adjust ourselves to not fall under the influence of -"

And now he was doing squat thrusts. Rei's normally a hard girl to read, but given that she was actively drooling right now? It wasn't that hard to figure out what was on her mind.

The door opened, and this universe's Misato entered. She looked around and clapped to get everyone's attention.

"Hey, hey!" she said. "Girls, you were about a minute away from giving Shinji a lapdance!"

"They were?" Shinji asked, sounding disappointed. As well he should. "Aw, man... I mean! Um?"

"You will suffer later on, little pervert," Asuka warned. "Urgh, you're right. Just looking at him makes me feel weird. Have you at least worked out anything there?"

For once, Misato had some good news. For what it was worth. "Our blood tests have brought up oddities that we think are 'Drive'," she said. "We're not sure of its source - but we do know this much. It seems to be highly contagious, and passes through body fluids."

"So all it takes is a kiss, and suddenly you're an Olympic level athlete with a body that is made for sex?" Asuka asked. "Appropriate, given what happens in the Olympic villages."

For those that don't know? Olympic villages have so much sex going on that it's actually absurd. No really.

"I think it takes a bit more than that," Misato said. "According to Ritsuko, it's some kind of hormonal change. The more aroused you get, the more it changes your body."

"Meaning that it becomes a self perpetuating thing until you become some sort of sexual ideal," Asuka said. "Wunderbar. And there's a whole universe out there where a bunch of her clones are oozing with the stuff."

"Universes, actually!" Misato corrected. "Unfortunately, due to how multiversal theory works, it'll be impossible to contain all of them. There will always be some alternative universe out there where someone made a vitally important decision that completely alters the outcome -"

"Meaning it's a quite literally never-ending battle to keep our own universe from becoming orgy central," Asuka said. "And don't think I don't see your little facial twitches there, Ikari! I know you want a piece of that!"

"I mean, you're offering a choice between eternal conflict or a world of constant sex," Shinji said. "What am I supposed to prefer here, again?"

Asuka took a deep breath, then reached out and grabbed his ear, giving it a good hard tweak. She didn't say anything else. She didn't need to. She just gave him The Look. You know The Look. The thing that she hadn't quite realised yet, though, was that Shinji was kinda turned on by The Look.

"Anyway!" Misato slammed her hands onto the desk. "If you two are finished flirting? Owing to the enormous breakthrough we've had in multiversal traversal owing to the Rei clone's failed attempt to suborn our reality, NERV's scope in its mission has enormously leaped forward! Now, in addition to contending with Angels, we will be exploring parallel universes.

"So… we’re not just fighting Angels anymore?" Shinji quietly asked.

"That's right!" Misato said. "We'll be spreading the word far and wide about Drive. Developing countermeasures, containment methodology - the sky is the limit."

"I'm not inter-" Shinji began.

"Also, apparently we discovered one reality where Yui Ikari is the Commander, and Gendo was the one that died," Misato said. "We're visiting that one first - then a reality where apparently Asuka's mother is the Commander of NERV -"

"I'm sorry, hold on! What?!" Asuka yelled.

"She said that we shall be visiting a reality where your mother is -" Rei began, but Asuka cut her off with The Look.

"The sky is the limit!" Misato said. "Now, as for the Curvy version of yourself we have captured and squirrelled away..."

"Tsk, she's not that hot -" Asuka began, but then Misato picked up the remote control, entered a pin, looked away from the monitor, and within a count to ten, all three of the pilots were licking the monitor. Though Misato knew from personal experience the only thing keeping her from doing the same thing was that she wasn't looking, and also that she had just taken a little anti-Drive shot.

"Alright, just gonna give you these..." Misato said, producing a needle and promptly giving each of them a quick little prick in the butt. Normally on this site when that happens it's of a sexual nature, but this time it was purely medical. "Now I want you guys to keep track of any side effects as this is still pretty new medicine. Alright? But we're pretty sure it should keep you safe from Drive, at least for the time being."

"Tsk," Asuka grunted. "Fine, whatever. Let's go visit this stupid alternative dimension where Shinji's mother is in charge of NERV, and then let's maybe go see mama, if we have the time."

"Alright! Now you're getting it!" Misato said. "I'll be back soon, I have to take care of something."

The three of them all turned to look at the Rei, who was tied up in a straightjacket, but still looked like the sexiest thing you'd ever seen in your damned life. So hot you'd normally consider breaking her out just for a quick roll in the hay.

However... Even though they were immune to Drive, and to the Rei's charms, that didn't mean they were entirely unaffected, right?

"Anyone wanna make out while Misato's gone?" Asuka asked. "Just to, you know, test things out and not at all because -"

Before she'd even finished, Rei had climbed on top of Shinji and stuck her tongue in his mouth. Initiating mutual tonsil tasting process~ What? This is still a horny story, just because the characters weren't directly engaging with the horny impetus of the story didn't mean they couldn't be horny!