It was, indeed, a Gilligan Cut. Ranma was sitting in a restaurant, Mikado next to her, while opposite were Tsubasa and Azusa. With one sitting in the other's lap. No, no, Azusa was not in Tsubasa's. It was the other way around! With Tsubasa being hugged by the girl the way a toddler might hold a favoured stuffed toy.
"My darling Ranma, you look so enchanting in that bunny suit," Mikado said. Ranma had a hand on his collar, holding him at arm's length. "Would you please allow me closer so I can show my appreciation?"
That's right. Ranma was on this date in her bunny attire. "No need, you can stay over there," she said, ever mindful of Mikado's wandering hands. Not letting those anywhere near her body, not a chance. Urgh! This was the worst! How did she let herself get talked into this -
"What's the matter, Ranma?" Tsubasa asked, so smug you could fill a lake with it. "Don't you know how to show your date a good - Too tight, Miss Azusa, tee hee! Can't quite breathe!"
Oh yeah, that's right. It was a combo hit of putting Tsubasa's smug superior attitude in its place and seeing him suffer in the grip of Azusa.
"Yes, Ranma!" Mikado said, slipping by Ranma's grip <i>somehow</i> and dipping her off her seat. "You should know how to show a man a good time, but if you don't? I am certainly capable of teaching you~"
"How charming!" Ranma said, then slipped her grip ever so slightly to put them back in their chairs. That required a bit of a leverage change. "But unnecessary. I can show you a good time without that sort of fun!"
"How adorable," Mikado replied, his hand finding its way to Ranma's knee. She gently put it on the table. Gently! Though she wanted to not be! "But, it must be said." Now his other hand was on her shoulder, forcing her to duck under his arm in an effort to shrug it off - which only led to his hand going right onto her breasts! "The best way for a woman to show a man a good time is using her body."
Twitch, twitch! It was funny, Ranma had never used to think about girls too much before this stupid curse. In time, it had become obvious that girls and boys were inherently treated differently by everyone, even if they don't realise they're doing it. This seemed to be true for girls in this reality too! A guy - No, let's say a creep - like Mikado was probably used to chicks throwing themselves at him because there were so few guys as 'handsome' as him around. He probably had a couple of chicks on the side already. Hell, he probably went above and beyond and had himself a whole harem of girls that were dumber than Azusa throwing themselves at him!
Like Tsubasa, this guy kinda struck Ranma as a bimbo magnet. Horny, desperate airheads throwing themselves at him willy-nilly, and he was expecting Ranma to be just the same.
"That's kind of shallow, don't you think?" Ranma removed the pest's hand from her breasts and rather less gently laid it on th etable, pinning down both his hands now. "There are other ways for a girl to -"
Was that his head resting on her shoulder? Rhetorical question obviously, she knew very damned well it was his head resting on her shoulder. She shrugged him off, and went to headbutt him - only to stop short when she realised if she continued down this path, their lips would have met. How did he -
"Tee hee, that girl's gonna fall victim to Mikey's Martial Arts Smooching again," Azusa tittered, hugging onto a very purple looking Tsubasa. Shaking him around like a ragdoll. Which was very satisfying to see and -
"Hold on, hold up," Ranma said. "Did you say 'again'? And 'martial arts smooching'?"
"Yep, yep!" Azusa nodded happily. "Mikey's long since mastered the art of stealing the lips of an unwary girl! Though he's never gone after me for some reason."
"Help... Please...!" Tsubasa said. His voice sounded like someone had squeezed it out of a toothpaste tube. "Can't breath!"
"Silly Marcele! You can speak, so you can breathe!" Azusa said, proceeding to squeeze him even tighter. Ranma could swear she was seeing Tsubasa's soul leaving his body there, but that really didn't matter so much as -"
"You're trying to tell me this guy's kissed me before?!" Ranma asked, a dark aura starting to grow around her, which was making several of the staff and other customers inch away from their table a bit out of sheer self preservation. The people actually at her table with her? Too stupid to recognise the mortal danger they were in.
"Oh yes, I remember now!" Mikado said. "That's why you looked familiar. Yes, yes, that's right. Your lips were the softest I have ever tasted. Oh, that you would play hard to get, to deny another taste. How shy, how wholesome. Please, there really is no need, I shall -"
And that's when Mikado found his head embedded in the ceiling. "Kiss plasterboard, creep!" Ranma barked. "Urgh! I need to take a shower! No, I need to take a hundred showers! I swear I can still feel his hands on me -"
"There there," Mikado said from behind her, giving her a shoulder rub. A shiver shot through Ranma's body composed of a steady mixture of anger and disgust. "Allow me to help you take the edge off. Or perhaps you want that boy in drag to win your little contest...?"
Oh dear. Now Ranma's pride as a man was competing with her pride as a martial artist. Clocking Mikado had to dock points off 'showing him a good time', right? On the other hand the fact this guy was touching her at all was so... Urgh! It was gross, it was disgusting, it was just plain wrong, wrong, wrong! She was a guy, dammit! Despite this body being insanely hot, it was a cursed form and not Ranma's true appearance! The idea that this guy apparently kissed her at some point in the future - Uuuuurgh, it made her want to throw up!
This was it, this was as much as Ranma could stand! She was gonna clock this jerk again and storm out! Tsubasa wins! Game over! There was no way she was going to endure even a second more of -
A napkin hit Ranma in the face. Ranma picked it off, and gave it a good once over. Huh? There was something written on it in - Was this blood? No, ketchup! There were three words on it in a bright red smear.
"I give. Help!" Ranma read aloud. Then turned to look at Tsubasa, who was sitting in Azusa's lap looking a lot like a zombie. "You give up, huh?" the head of the annoying smug crossdress mechanically nodded, while Azusa snuggled into him. "Okay, fine. Hey, is that a collection of plush toys over there?"
"Where?!" Azusa yelped, leaping to her feet and letting go of Tsubasa, letting the boy fall face first on the table breathing heavily, wheezing and gasping for air. "Azusa doesn't see it! Will be back soon!"
"Air, sweet air!" Tsubasa gasped, taking in deep lungfulls, savouring each breath as only one that came close to death by suffocation could. "Fine! You win, Saotome! I'll stay away from -"
Ranma wasn't listening, she was too busy kicking Mikado in the nuts to pay attention. Not a move she'd normally go for, but if anyone earned it? This guy, right here!
"Urgh, I'm gone!" Ranma yelled, storming out of the restaurant. "This was the worst day! If I never see any of the three of you again, it'll be too soon!"
Alas, Ranma knew that sometime in the future Mikado would wind up stealing her lips, which honestly made this all the worse. Urgh! Time to go back to being a boy again, and try really hard to repress that any of this even happened.
As for Tsubasa? By the time he'd caught his breath and was preparing to slink away in crushing defeat, a hand fell upon his shoulder.
"Where is Marcelle going?" Azusa asked.
"Uh! The date's over!" Tsubasa said. "I lost, so -"
"Nuh, uh!" Azusa wagged her finger. "Azusa gonna take you home and fuck you nice and proper! Tee hee! Marcelle will join Azusa's collection of cute boy toys~"
Meanwhile, Mikado was on the floor, writhing in absolute agony, clutching at his balls, experiencing the worst pain that a man can feel... And he still felt lucky that he wasn't Tsubasa.
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