Story: St Doria

As much fun as it is to appreciate Alec growing her lesbian harem yet again, despite her very best intentions, we must turn our attention away from such delights for a time. Yes, yes, I know, I know, get the boos out of your system. For now we must follow Nathaniel, Reggie's brother and- Yes, yes you'd rather watch the cute girls crossdressing as boys and getting into hijinks, I know! But really, we've put this off long enough.

At this moment in time Nathaniel was cooly strolling through the library, stopping at the very back wall. He looked around. Nobody in this aisle. Nobody in the next aisle over. His finger traced along the shelves, until he reached a book that read "Linear Systems and Signals" on its spine, and then he did something that nobody else would ever do.

He removed it from the shelf.

"This is so cliche," Nathaniel muttered to himself under his breath. The bookcase slid open. A secret passageway appeared. A dark, ominous passageway with steps that spiralled down, down, yet still further down. "So utterly, tediously cliche... Oh well. At least the old man picked a book nobody would ever pick up. I got bored just reading the title."

A point worth noting because Nathaniel himself had a bit of interest in engineering. For example, the engineering involved in setting up a secret passage like this. In a school's library. And keeping it secret. How the hell did he pull that off? It reminded him of Knox's 3rd: No more than one secret passage in a story. One stretched credulity enough, as any such passage would require someone to build it. This would make it very difficult to conceal, as anyone involved in the construction would know, and it would be very difficult to perform without someone around to notice. Perhaps it was set up at the school's founding? Or during the summer vacation?

Whatever. Nathaniel strolled downstairs, and soon found himself greeted by an extremely bored looking receptionist with the kind of body you'd normally attribute to a 'bimbo'.

"Hey Nathaniel," she sighed wearily, sounding genuinely exhausted. "He's expecting you."

"Hrm? Not dressing up in a boy's uniform?" Nathaniel mocked. "Come on, Lucy. You'd make a super cute Luke."

"Yeah, damn straight I would," Lucy replied, stifling a yawn. "But I look way cuter in a miniskirt and heels. You can see that my hands are tied."

If only that was more literally true. Nathaniel would crawl over broken glass for a chance to have her in bed, but alas she seemed more interested in showing it off than actually getting laid. It was probably killing her that there were no new boy students for her to strut around and show off to.

She led him inside where he found the old man waiting, watching an array of monitors that surely must have come from the set of a bad action movie. This place really did have 'evil' vibes going, huh? Whatever.

"Yo!" Nathaniel called out to no response. "Ahem! Hey, boss! You there?"

"A little professionalism and decorum would not go amiss," the old man said. "I can only see so much from here. Your impressions?"

"A little annoyed you brought in my annoying sister," Nathaniel remarked. "Here I am, trying to get my rocks off on all the cute girls dressed up like boys, and you go and ruin it by putting her in there too!"

"Hrmph! Disgusting!" the old man jeered. He spun around in his chair and steepled his hands. "Trying to enjoy yourself this way when there is so much more going on! We are running a test here. A test that could change the world!"

"Yay, girls will be more successful at infiltrating all boy's schools..." Lucy sarcastically cheered, even putting her fists on her hips and knee lifting a bit to really drive in the sarcasm.

"For the last time, Lucy!" the old man warned. He strode across the room, tapping his cane upon the floor loud enough to make it echo as he did so, and approached a device that was sitting off to the side, glowing ominously. "This is the true purpose of all of this. Our Probability Manipulator!"

Yep, a probability manipulator. Probability is one of those things that people just don't get. Something is 50% likely to happen? It's a coin flip. It could happen. It might not. 30% chance? It's less likely, but still very possible. A million to one shot? It's merely extremely unlikely - but not impossible. That's only when you get a 0% chance of it happening. Like... A loaf of bread spontaneously growing breasts and putting on a cabaret show. That sort of thing has a 0% chance of happening.

"So, are we about to do the thing where we 'as you know' our evil plan?" Lucy asked. "I've always wanted to do one of those."

"If we do one, will you give me a kiss?" Nathaniel asked. Lucy rolled her eyes.

"You know what, I'm so bored right now I'll even sit in your lap while we do it," she said. Awesome! "You'd better make it worth my time."

Damn straight he was making it worth her time! Alright! He rubbed his hands together in glee, and set about the exposition, while the Old Man grunted in disgust.

"Alright, so this device allows us to make events likelier or more possible," he said. "We can't reduce something from 100%, nor increase it from 0%. It's only the stuff in between we can pull off. During our tests last year, we accidentally caused a whole bunch of mishaps to the table tennis club -"

"Because you were trying to get Miss Cavendish to pay attention to you," Lucy interrupted. "Not that I can blame you... I'm straight and I still wanna hit that."

Nathaniel had to stop a moment there. He completely lost his train of thought for some reason. Ah! That's right! The exposition! Ahem! 

"Obviously, we needed a grander test, if we were going to do anything with it," Nathaniel continued, pacing around the room. "Something big. Something we could verify easily. Something grand and brilliant-  which led us to the obvious conclusion!"

"Make every new attendee at our beloved school a girl disguised as a boy," the Old Man said. He cackled a bit to himself. "To even have that many applicants in the first place was astounding, to reject only the boys and have only girls? Beyond impossible! At least that's what a fool with no understanding or comprehension of statistics would say!"

"The sheer odds of it are amazingly against," Nathaniel said. "We've not verified with all of them yet - but we've found a good few already. We need to find a way to test everyone and - " he trailed off and blinked to himself. "That one seems to have turned the swim team into her own personal reverse harem. Phew!"

"Right, I get all of that," Lucy nodded while inspecting her nails. "That part, all comprehended. M'kay? Though I do have a few questions."

"Hrmph! Of course!" the Old Man said. "Go ahead, make your queries."

"So, how did you get this device in the first place?" Lucy asked. "I mean, we're staff at a freaking school for boys. Why do we have something that should be, I dunno, in some government laboratory somewhere?"

The Old Man and Nathaniel fell silent at that. "Ah..." Nathaniel began, only for Lucy to let out her next question.

"Also, what are we gonna do with this?" Lucy asked. "I mean, world domination, riches beyond our wildest dreams... Or is turning this into a secret girl's school the actual objective here? I mean, that's kinda fetishy."

"Says the exhibitionist secretary," the Old Man countered. "Bah! Never mind where we got it from or what we intend to do with it! All that matters for now is determining the truth one way or another! Are all the boys in our new first year actually girls?"

"Also, what about biological boys who identify as -"

"I specified biological girls when setting this up!" the Old Man roared. "Now then! I want the two of you to head out there and determine if those boys are really girls or not."