One might imagine a touch of tension in the air, as Nodoka sat down opposite a former romantic rival that she hadn't seen in the better part of twenty years. But no. There actually wasn't. Not from Nodoka, the winner of that little spat. Nor Koharu, who probably wouldn't get tense if someone put her in a torture rack. She might actually thank them for helping stretch out that kink in her back that’s been bothering her.
Genma had enough of a survival instinct to not be in the room, though. In fact, he had very much specifically noped away, gone panda, found a tire and was rolling around playing with it in order to help him destress a bit. Try not to think about the things those two might talk about together. Or what might happen to him after the fact.
Call it pattern recognition. Or PTSD from his youth. What else might you call it, after all, first the crazy vampire lady comes back after being sealed for that long, and now clumsy kunoichi klepto is back as well...
"It's nice to see you again," Nodoka said, smiling at her rival peacefully, calmly. But why? What if she, too, intended to resume her relationship with Genma? "I understand that you have a daughter...?"
That's it. That's the reason. Nodoka didn't see her as a rival anymore. Kind of hard to when she already hooked up with someone else. The contest from their youth was already won, with Nodoka sitting as Queen of the Hill, earning her prize of Genma Saotome.
... Quite the prize, if you think about it. Quite the prize indeed.
"Oh, I'm doing great!" Koharu replied happily. "You seem content as well, don'tcha, Nodoka? A really cute son, a cute daughter in law. It makes me want to steal them away!"
Nodoka very, very slightly pulled her sword out of its sheath. The smile on her face didn't waver an inch. If Koharu even jokes about stealing something that belongs to you, it means she'd already considered a plan to do so. Or whatever passed for a plan in that flighty head of hers.
If Koharu was bothered by this, she didn’t show it. “I suppose with my late husband having remarried, died, and had his inheritance stolen by a thieving witch of a woman I’m back on the market though hahahaha!” She took a sip of her tea, “Fantastic Nodoka, who made this tea?”
"Oh, that would be Soun's eldest daughter," Nodoka said carefully.
"That makes sense! Obviously it wouldn't be you! Hahaha, I remember that first time you served me tea, I had stomach pains for a week."
"Yes," Nodoka said, her eyebrow twitching slightly. "I remember you made jokes about that for a month afterwards."
"Oh, was it only a month?" Koharu quipped. "I mean, you really were a terrible cook Nodoka! It was honestly quite hilarious, remember when Ryusei kept eating all your cooking and getting sick, how is he anyways? Clearly didn’t win you over.”
“From what I’ve gathered he moved to America.” Oh gosh, Nodoka hadn't thought about him in quite some time. "Now, Koharu. While it is nice to see you again -"
"Oh, it's so good to finally be able to catch up!" Just like her. Barrelling on without a care. "You wouldn't believe some of the things I'e been up to! Ohohoho!"
Of course she wouldn't. Because as much fun as Koharu could be to have around, she was also... infuriating.
"Let's start with that year I wound up ending a century long feud between two martial arts schools," Koharu began. "Oh, that was an exciting one! It turned out that the two heirs were in love and0"
"Yes, I think I get the idea for that one- "Nodoka tried to interrupt.
"So I had to sneak them through a devious labyrinth, stealing them away from their family homes, which were built like fortresses!"
"How nice," Nodoka said through grit teeth concealed by a sweet smile.
“But then when the parents saw how much they loved each other, after I defeated them, they realised how silly they were!”
"I'm sure," Nodoka said.
"Almost immediately after that, I uncovered the plot of an evil ninja hell bent on world domination! They had discovered a technique that would enable them to freely enter the dreams of others, and intended to use that to control the minds of world leaders!"
"How insidious!"
"So I stole his scroll right away and used it to enter his dreams, and left him as a farmer somewhere in Australia. The last I heard, he had to fend off a particularly nasty emu attack."
What was this strange feeling Nodoka had washing over her? Listening to Koharu's misadventures from almost twenty years was making her feel... nostalgic.
"And then I got invited to a top secret martial arts tournament which invited combatants from every nation on Earth!"
"That... that doesn't seem very top secret then, does it?" Nodoka asked, suddenly feeling... small. Koharu wasn't meaning to do it, but as she went on and on about these over the top misadventures, Nodoka was remembering how it used to be.
“That’s how I won my pardon. I was granted a wish and I wanted to see my daughter, and Genma, again.”
Nodoka took a deep breath, “You do know that the police said they had the wrong suspect… a week after you vanished, Koharu?”
"Oh, I know!" Koharu said. "Obviously a trap to lure me out of hiding! I'm too smart for that sort of trick!"
Nodoka had a headache. She wasn't sure if that's what it was, but... now she was pretty sure. It was a full blown headache without a doubt.
"So? What have you been up to?" Koharu asked. "Must be real super exciting, I mean you were married to Genma all this time. Right? Right? You must have wound up in all sorts of zany misadventures that put mine to shame!"
Oh yes. The zany misadventures of a poor travelling martial artist's wife, who stayed at home while her husband and their son went off all over Japan meeting all sorts of interesting people. Leaving her to learn how to live frugally and reading each letter she got with the same intensity a religious zealot might their holy text.
"I think that's enough catching up, don't you?" Nodoka said. "Why don't we, ah, go visit your heavily pregnant daughter and the woman who knocked her up?"
Koharu promptly exploded on the spot, being replaced by several clones who set about trying to steal everything nailed down, right up until Nodoka unsheathed a bit more of her sword and they Sat The Fuck Down.
"Ranma. Akane. We shall be gone for a few hours to visit your friend Ukyo," Nodoka said. "By the way, just in case. If - for whatever bizarre reason - anyone else happens to arrive who used to be romantically interested in your father... Please pretend that he's not here."
<hr>
Your parents were once young. That is a thought that most people really struggle with. They did weird and wild stuff in their youth, before you were around. Then, after you were around, they were (hopefully) responsible and had to focus on taking care of you and stuff like that. It's hard to reckon with.
After his mother had left, dragging that weird ninja lady and pops with her, Ranma had sat down and stared off into space for a good long minute. Akane sat down next to him a little into that. Then nudged his shoulder with hers.
"You okay?" she asked.
"... are our kids gonna have to deal with weird romantic bullshit?" he wondered aloud. Then, promptly, turned bright red as he realised what he'd just said. "Ah, no, I mean, m-maybe that's too soon to think about, I mean, we're married and everything but -"
"Yes, you were talking purely hypothetical, we're not ready for kids, hahahaha!"
It's almost cute how similar they are. Nervously laughing off a slip of the tongue, because neither of them wanted to deal with the inevitable possibility that one day, the two of them will wind up as parents themselves. A thought that had become more and more prominent the larger Konatsu got.
"I mean, what? Are you saying it's hereditary?" Akane asked. "Don't be daft. If anything you should worry more that you'll wind up like your father when..." she trailed off. "Don't you dare think of leaving me alone while you go on a training trip, buster. I'm coming with you if you do, got it?"
"Yeah, yeah, you've made that clear already..." He stuck his tongue out at her. "No escaping the little woman, blah, blah, not the point. It's just weird the same sorta stuff happened to me and to pops, you know? A whole bunch of weirdo chicks coming onto the pair of us, and then we wind up marrying the most normal - and pretty, and nice, and not actually weird - "
Akane, of course, was rather used to Ranma putting his foot in his mouth like that. "Weird, am I? Or is that, the most normal out of a bunch of weirdos?" She wasn't actually annoyed, just teasing him a little. "Look, you're worried about nothing. You're overthinking this, right?"
As if in answer, someone rushed into the garden at full throttle. A stranger, a pretty woman who looked to be around about - Wait, no. No, no. It couldn't be. Not another -
"Pardon me, I'm looking for Soun Tendo," the woman said. "Well, actually to be more specific I'm looking for Genma Saotome, but Soun is my best lead at finding him. Ahhh, that idiot! Genma, why did you have to leave that with me?! Stupid, stupid Genma!"
Huh. It sounds like they knew Genma really, really well. Although, at this point, both Ranma and Akane were hesitant to ask the obvious question about, uh, what exactly she was here for? It felt like they were staring at a can of worms which might do god only knows what when opened...
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