He was wandering the streets of the Furinkan area (believing himself to be in Hokkaido) with a typically forlorn yet determined expression upon his face. He had a destination in mind, but no concept of connecting where he was to that destination with a straight line. Hell, it's likely he couldn't draw a straight line between two points if he had a ruler.
Today, his wanderlust was fueled by a memory. A memory of the best and worst moment of his life. When he was in pursuit of his hated rival, Ranma Saotome, he had journeyed to China (eventually) upon hearing that is where that coward had fled to.
On that journey in that foreign land, he found himself standing on the edge of a cliff. Looking out over a peaceful valley covered with springs, and with tall bamboo poles sticking out of the ground and pools. If only he had known, if only he had sensed the danger, he might thave been a touch more cautious. Watched his footing more carefully.
"Get back here, old man!"
But even then it would not have mattered. Not one jot. For you see, at that instant he had heard the voice of an angel cry out over this wicked valley. It stopped him in his tracks, stone cold. He turned. He beheld a panda carrying a bowl of ramen, slurping it up as he ran - while his goddess chased after that beast. She was dressed in a gi - or at least, her upper half was. Her legs were exposed to the air. Sublime. Supple, powerful legs worthy only of the truly divine. Not a blemish on her flesh. Her approach, bounding after that panda, had a strangely defenseless tomboyish charm about it. Her pretty face set within a scowl, her pigtail bobbing as she bounced effortlessly across the uneven ground.
For the first time in his life, Ryoga Hibiki fell in love, nad he did so at first sight. This creature could not be human, for no human could be so perfect. She must be sent by heaven, an angel arrived on this Earth -
"You ain't getting away with that ramen you bastard do you even know how fucking hungry I am?!"
Ah, what dulcet tones, ah what merry sounds she makes, ah, the feeling of her knee against Ryoga's cheek, ah, the feeling of air rushing past him as he tumbled from the -
"Ohhhh nooooo!" Ryoga yelled, twisting in the air as he tried to land in one of the springs. He could but hope that it was deep enough, otherwise this was going to get very, very bad. Martial artists know how to land from tall heights, but on uneven ground like this there was only so much you could do to minimise the damage!
And so he landed in the spring of drowned piglet. Picked up by that panda and dumped in boiling water, which both turned him back to normal and also <i>really hurt</i>! In any event, it was clear who was to blame for this twisted turn of events. That careless fool, with no consideration for others!
"Ranma Satotome, I will find you for this!" he cried out, both back then and in the present day, shaking his fist at the sky. "If Only I could find you, I shall gladly ruin your happiness!"
"I dunno Mister Tendo, if we head in there all kinds of rumours will -"
"Yes, I know! The rumours of the brave martial artist who rescued his darling, adorable fiance will spread far and wide."
"That ain't what I -"
Naturally, that had been Ranma Saotome and Soun Tendo about to enter a love hotel to rescue Akane. Ryoga didn't especially care where they were heading. Nor had he the direction sense to properly determine that from their course. What did matter was that Ranma was directly within his line of sight, which meant that it was perfectly in his ability to pound that ass into the pavement using his giant heavy and lengthy weapon of choice.
His umbrella. What did you think he meant?
"Ranma Saotome!" Ryoga yelled in typical fashion. "Because of you I have seen hell!"
"Look out, son!" Soun yelled. "This must be one of the thugs hired to -"
"Yeah, yeah! I got this!" Ranma said. As ever, he moved quickly around Ryoga's attacks. Feeling him out, staying just out of reach of the tip of Ryoga's rapidly thrusting umbrella. "You head inside and find Akane!"
"No, I shall deal with this brute personally!" Soun said, and suddenly Ryoga was finding himself facing a middle aged man with the best moustache Ryoga had ever seen in his entire life. For some reason his umbrella wilted. "It is your duty to rescue your fiance!"
"Ain't it your duty to rescue your daughter?" Aha, and here was Ranma again, all of a sudden Ryoga's umbrella was at full force again! "I'll deal with this strangely familiar guy while you rescue Akane!"
Unfortunately the two of them took this as a cue to argue their point, leaving Ryoga quite a bit confused about what the hell was going on. Couldn't he just, you know, fight Ranma in peace? Get out all this stress, this anxiety, building up whenever he realised that the girl he'd been obsessing over was completely nameless in his mind? A good hard ass beating on Ranma was exactly what the Doctor ordered, he was in desperate need to pound that butt for as long as it took until he felt relieved! This old man getting in the way was not helping, no matter how glorious his moustache might be!
"Will you pay attention to meeeeee?!" Ryoga yelled, tossing that umbrella. The two of them jumped apart from one another, while the umbrella landed on its handle and started ot spin wildly in place. Which distracted a man carrying a bucket of water for some reason, causing him to spill it all over Ranma.
And now... epiphany. Dear reader, if this were any other work of fanfiction, this might normally be where one of two things happens. The first is that Ryoga becomes annoyed in some capacity that the girl he liked was Ranma's cursed form. He gets furious, or maybe he goes all angsty about it, that sort of bullshit. The second is that Ryoga decides that Ranma is a different person from his cursed form, justifying it to himself in some way akin to the Kuno siblings.
But dear reader, if you have been reading this thread then you should already know that this is not the way we are going from this point. If not, then please find a way to test your pattern recognition for it is surely broken in some way.
Instead, Ryoga has a series of epiphanies about himself while watching Ranma stand there, the cold water causing 'her' shirt to cling to 'her' chest, while also making 'her' nipples stand at attention. Do note at this point that Ryoga had retrieved his umbrella and was holding it at a 45 degree angle pointing upwards, and that this is not symbolic of anything at all.
Ranma. That girl... was Ranma. That girl he had fallen in love with was... Ranma. Ryoga mulled it over in his head and, to his surprise, found himself totally and absolutely okay with that fact. Actually, come ot think of it, he'd pretty much always had a crush on Ranma ever since the day they met. Which explained a lot. Why he picked fights with him all the time. It wasn't because of something petty like bread. It was like - like pulling the pigtails of the girl you liked. Trying for his attention. Expressing feelings that he was in denial about until this very moment.
It was cathartic for him. A relief for him. He could finally embrace this aspect of himself with no fear or trepidation.
As for Ranma: "Oh man, just what I didn't need!" she scowled, stomping cutely on the pavement before getting back into a battle position. "I remember now, you're Ryoga Hibiki! Never thought a guy like you would get involved in a kidnapping."
"Kidnapping...?" Ryoga asked.
"Yes, kidnapping!" Soun said. "My beloved daughter was kidnapped and brought here! Waah!"
Ah... was that so? Well then, in that case... Ryoga immediately bowed and said "My apologies, I did not realise you were on such an important mission. Please, allow me to make it up to you right away!"
It was a small thing, a tiny gesture on the face of it. However... If it would let Ryoga Hibiki get closer to Ranma, to show how he truly felt, then Ryoga would gladly do it! Nobody in the world could feel the way about him/her that Ryoga did! Nobody!
<hr>
Alright. Alright. Just sit tight, and soon you would get what was coming to you. Breathe, just breathe, Ranma is on his way or her way or whatever and soon, if you play your cards right, you'll be able to progress in your romantic relationship with him.
Naturally, for Akane Tendo, relaxing meant stomping around the room while doing a kata, because she knew no other way to relax. A martial artist through and through, this was what she did all the damned time, and the more steps she was going through the more pissed off she was getting at herself.
"Do I not have a feminine bone in my body?!" Akane grunted. This was the problem. Ranma was the first person she'd felt <i>any</i> kind of attraction to, and now her libido was jumping up and down on her 'have sex with him' button every time she thought about him. It was smashing that button like she wanted Ranma to smash her! And yet... It was like, imagine that you wanted to draw but you had something wrong with your hands. They don't do what you want them to do, you can't get the image from your head down onto the page. That's what this was like for Akane. She could make her body do just about anything for a fight, but she couldn't do something sexy if it saved her life!
That was when a strange boy barged in through the door. Akane took one look at him, saw it was not Ranma, grabbed a vase near the door and dumped it over his head. Funny thing though. The second she did, the boy sort of... vanished, and all that was left was a little black piglet poking its snout out from under the vase.
"Huh...?" Akane asked. "Wait, that vase had water in it. Could this be Jusenkyo?"
"Hey Akane, are you in here?" asked the single boy to ever make her wet. Which he did yet again with the first syllable out of his mouth. Her mouth, rather. She strode in, apparently oblivious to the wet t-shirt she was wearing. "Huh, here I was worried and you're in here playing with a cute little pig. You see a kinda stupid looking guy around here, by the way? He's an old martial arts friend of mine, but he gets lost super easily."
A martial artist friend of Ranma...? Ah! That boy was pretty well built. Not really her type at all, but definitely structured like a martial artist. Akane furrowed her brow and looked down at the pig, instantly understanding the situation.
When Ranma said 'martial arts friend' he obviously meant 'rival'. Someone he went up against regularly. They must have helped out this time because of the fake story of her being kidnapped. Revealing a weakness like a Jusenkyo curse when Ranma obviously didn't know about it -that was something that would be a terrible thing to do to any martial artist.
As such, Akane silently resolved that she would not tell Ranma about this. Let Ryoga tell him about it instead. It was not her place to tell him.
"Waah, Akane!" her father wailed, embracing both Ranma and Akane in a wide hug. Pulling the two of them together. "You must have beaten the kidnappers up all by yourself, but still, what a frightening experience for a young girl to endure! Ranma, you must embrace your fiance, show her that you care for her wellbeing!"
"Hey, cut that out already!" Ranma yelled, slipping out from Soun's grasp and pulling Akane along as well. "Guh, wouldn't surprise me if that old man set it up to try and set us up... Or maybe it was my old man's idea, he's dumb enough to try pulling a stunt like this."
Okay Akane listen, it is super important that you don't focus too hard on this fact otherwise you might grow flush and faint, but right at this very moment Ranma is holding your hand while you're in a love hotel. Oh sure you're not in the room anymore, you're just heading down the corridor, but - But that doesn't matter because you are literally in a love hotel and the person you want to bang is holding your hand.
Hey! I said don't focus on it! If you focus on it then you're -
"How about we just kiss already?" Akane said. Her inner voice had no face, it had no palms, but it facepalmed anyway. "I mean, it would shut them up, right?"
"Bwee, bwee, bwee!" the pig in her arms squealed.
"Hah! Yeah, right. In my girl form?" Ranma scoffed.
"Well why not I mean it would serve them right if we kissed while you were in girl form, you know how daddy wants me to marry a boy..."
Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! What are you saying!? Do you hear yourself right now? That's the kind of logic only an idiot could follow!
"Yeah, I guess that makes sense."
Huh? Huh? <b>Huh?!</b> Ranma was - Ranma was actually going for it. The pigtailed babe turned around for a second and pecked her on the lips and - And for Akane it felt like time stood still. In that brief second an eternity passed by. Maybe two eternities. It's kind of hard to tell the difference after you've been through your first. That softness pressed against her lips was more impactful than any punch to land on her body. She's had bruised ribs that she'd forget long before she forgot that brief contact.
Of course, what Akane didn't realise was that she'd just made an enemy for life out of the pig in her arms. Oh dear, gentle reader, does it not seem as though the love triangle has shifted somewhat? How utterly fascinating...
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