Story: Pride and Joy

 

 There he was, Ryoga Hibiki, minding his own business, mooning over Akane Tendo, thinking of her as an innocent angel who had graced his life and only improved it by her presence... While being blissfully unaware, oblivious even, of the extremely kinky activities that she'd been involved with of late.

Oh, Akane! To see her again! To be held in her arms (as a pig), to be kissed and petted (as a pig), to sleep in her bed (as a pig), oh the things he would do to experience that again! If only he knew where the Tendo dojo was! Hell, if only he hadn't relied on that dumbass Mousse to get him to Jusenkyo, the two of them would've been cured already! (It was actually partly his fault as well that they got lost)

"Good evening, welcome to - Oh, it's you."

That wasn't a very friendly greeting from someone in customer ser- Oh. It was her. Ukyo Kuonji. An old friend of Ranma's who turned out to be a girl, and who Ranma's father once swindled into an arranged marriage, resulting in her developing a complex about her gender and getting really, really good at pretending to be a boy.

Though. Looking at her now, she did seem a bit more feminine than she used to be. Was that his imagination?

"Ah!" Ryoga gasped. "If I'm here, then that must mean I'm in Furinkan!"

"Where the hell did you think you were? Paris?"

"Ukyo, don't be silly," Ryoga said. "I'd have to get on a boat or plane to get to Paris." He'd made that mistake only ten times, he wouldn't do it again. "What way is it to the Tendo Dojo?"

"... If I give you directions you'll wind up back here again," Ukyo said. "Urgh... It's a slow night, so I'll take you there myself. I could do with visiting Ranchan right about now anyway."

Visiting Ranma? Were things going a bit better between these two, or were they still just 'friends'? Either way, it would give him a chance to get close to Akane! Let's see, let's see. There's a little skip in Ukyo's step that wasn't usually there. The way she was moving was distinctly more girly. It was like looking at a young maiden on her way out for a hot date rather than a tomboyish girl meeting up with a buddy. Could it be? Could it really be? Had things changed this much while he'd been away?!

"So, how have things been going with Ranma lately?" Ryoga asked, eager for the chance to dig a little deeper. Small talk wasn't his speciality, but this seemed like an easy in.

"Huh? Oh, you know, the usual." But Ukyo was blushing. Blushing! "Nothing new to report there..."
 
"Ah, that's a shame," Ryoga said. Normally he'd believe a lie like that but Ukyo was so... obvious about it that even he could see through it. "I was hoping to get closer to Akane -"

"I'd forget about that if I were you," Ukyo immediately interrupted. Huh? "Sorry Ryoga, I can't support you hooking up with Akane anymore. But don't worry, there are plenty of other fish in the sea."

"Hey, Akane is not a fish!" Ryoga protested.

"Maybe, but she'll serve as excellent bait."

That voice. A man's voice. Something about it chilled Ryoga to the bone. It was smooth and cold like an ice cube, and sent a shiver down his spine like one too. Ukyo seemed to pick up on the same instinct, and had that stupidly big spatula at the ready. Not that he was one to critique, giving that he was wielding an especially heavy umbrella as a weapon as well.

Their enemy was a cloaked figure standing on a wall over them.

"You realise you're picking a fight with Ryoga Hibiki?" Ryoga asked.

"Why else would I be picking this fight?" the enemy said. "Out with one of Saotome's women, huh? Careful, his jealous streak might kick in."

"Shut up about Ranchan! What do you want, creep?" Ukyo spat.

Glancing to the sky above, Ryoga could see it start to rain. He put up his umbrella to keep himself from changing. Hrmph! With Ukyo here he should be able to keep fighting without getting wet. Though that would depend on how dangerous this enemy was. The fact he was laughing really wasn't setting his mind at ease though...

Nor did it set his mind at ease when that enemy tossed aside their cloak, and then...

<hr>

From the day they met, Ranma had known one thing about Akane. That chick was tough. She could swing a punch that was bound to hurt, and kick a guy into next week if the mood struck her. While she wasn't at his standard she was definitely above most ordinary guys, and even decent martial artists might struggle a little to beat her in a fair fight.

Still, one thing he had learned about her was that she could get in over her head pretty easily if she wasn't paying attention. Or had been paying attention to the wrong thing. With the situation changing of late (in a way he didn't much care for, but that's a whole other can of worms) he'd assumed that things would at least settle down a little. No need for Shampoo to pull any bullshit, nor Kodachi to get something weird in her head.

Based on her recent pattern of behaviour, by now she should be on her hands and knees crawling to him for a taste of this monster hanging between his legs. That... wasn't a comfortable thought for him, but it was objectively true. Whatever effect this had on girls should have been making her thirstier than an oak tree in the middle of a desert by this point.

So where was she?

"Hrm?" Mister Tendo hummed. "Worried about Akane, son?"

"No!" Ranma lied. "I'm just, you know... wondering what she's up to."

Annoyingly, this guy decided to pat him on the back. Reassurance was not what he was looking for right now. Ah, but then Ranma turned around - and found himself staring up into the face of the devil himself, as Soun's head began to swell up, his tongue grew a fork, and steam began to billow around him.

"Ranma!" Soun's battle aura yelled at him, its voice echoing and reverberating down deep into Ranma's soul. "You don't care one bit about my daughter's whereabouts?! Why don't you go and find your beloved fiancee?"

"Gah! Okay, okay! I'm going!" Alright, he got the message, he was already heading out to search for her! It wasn't even like he was all that scared of that dumb technique, it was more like putting up with it was a major hassle. He didn't really want to seriously fight the guy that was, you know, putting him and his old man up at his own expense - Oh and by the way he was having regular sex with that guy's three daughters too.

Come to think if that last one came out he'd likely have to fight back to save his own skin. Mister Tendo didn't seem like the sort of guy to stop just because Ranma knocked him down a couple of times or made him trip over his own feet. He'd probably get himself put in the hospital, recover to the point he could walk under his own power, then come at Ranma again, repeating the process until he literally couldn't fight anymore.

Not a scenario he wanted to go through thanks! Stupid dragon dick making his life miserable with all that amazing sex with numerous hot willing women. All he wanted to do was become a great martial artist! He didn't have time for chicks, he should be spending that time training!

Anyway, up here on the Nerima rooftops, Ranma shielded his eyes to get a better look around. Any sign of her? He hopped around to get a better view, each landing featherlight so as to not disturb the residents or damage their homes. All done without a second thought.

"Where is that tomboy..." Ranma grumbled to himself. Honestly, he was kind of getting a bit horny himself at this point. Maybe he should have stopped off in Nabiki's room for a little ass? Nrg! Maybe he should hop over to Uchan's and get her help? She lived alone, so there wouldn't be any interference.

What was he thinking? He was out here looking for Akane! Focus! Focus! Grr! But his balls were swelling up again! Soon enough all he'd be able to think about was getting them drained. This whole thing was so damned stupid. Where was his self control at?

Oh, but then it rained. Used to be that he hated the rain, but right now it was a genuine blessing. It washed away his boy form, leaving an aroused, but manageable girl form in its place. Ah, that was almost refreshing by comparison. Now he could focus on -

"Eeeek! Let me go, you jackass!"

The sound of Uchan screaming, coming from the same direction that giant winged bull was. Hold on, let's run that by his trusty old eyeballs once again. Ranma rubbed at them, blinked several times and then made a quick beeline across the rooftops when it became apparent that this was not, in fact, some form of optical illusion.

"Uchan!" Ranma yelled, concerned for the safety and wellbeing of his friend/sex buddy. He bounced across the roof like a rabbit in a field of springs, anxious for her wellbeing, unsure of what the hell to make of this. "Hey, creep! Get back here!"

The bull turned its head to see Ranma, and its eyes shot down a blistering death wish. That killing intent! It snorted steam out of its nose, then whirled around and hurled something right at Ranma, hard enough to send him down into the pavement even though he caught it. By the time he had picked himself back up, there was no catching it anymore. That guy was gone.Way too far up to leap to, too far away and too fast to reasonably follow after. Had that guy taken Akane as well? Ranma reflexively gripped hard and stared a righteous hole in the back of that retreating monster.

How dare he? How dare he?! Howdarehehowdarehehowdarehe?! Taking what was rightfully Ranma's? His girls? His treasure? Stealing from his horde, taking it away without permission? No forgiveness, none, this was an affront that could not be ignored! Heedless of whether he could catch up, or even hurt that thing in this form, Ranma prepared to give chase anyway -

"Bwee, bwee!"

Then heard a pathetic whimper down below. On examination, he found a little black piglet wrapped up in pantyhose. Battered and bruised, and really truly a pathetic sight. The strange thought process Ranma had unknowingly gone down faded away because of how thoroughly pathetic it was, and he reached down to pick up his transformed rival.

"You tried to protect Uchan from that thing, huh?" Ranma asked. He picked up the semi-conscious porcine  and unwrapped the pantyhose tying it up. Then, he became aware once again of the thing that had been tossed at him. A scroll? Also wrapped up in pantyhose? "The hell is that thing's obsession with pantyhose...?" Ranma pondered.

<hr>
Later, the air in the cat cafe had taken on a sombre tone. Present were Ranma, his father, Cologne, Mousse and Ryoga. All sitting around a table, and upon the centre of that table was the scroll Ranma had been given by the monster. Unfurled for all to freely read. Quite simply, it said the following:

"Bring Happosai."

Cologne was the first to break the silence. "I received a call from the Jusenkyo Guide," she said. "Apparently, someone had stolen his guest book."

"Then why go after Akane and Uchan?" Ranma asked. He didn't get it. He didn't get it at all! "They don't have anything to do with Jusenkyo."

"Maybe, but this guy sure does," Ryoga said. "I was asking Kuonji for directions when that guy appeared. Then it started to rain, and he became... that."

"The Master has been quiet of late," Genma said. "Ever since that incident with the Dragon's Whisker, he's not appeared as often as he used to."

"Yes, I had the feeling it was a bit too quiet around here," Cologne said. "It could be that our monster had heard son-in-law managed to defeat that perverted disgrace to martial arts, and has grabbed women associated with you in an attempt to get your attention."

He wanted Ranma's attention? Huh! He'd sure got it. Akane, Uchan and Shampoo. It made his blood boil thinking that this creep had swooped in and taken them like that.

"Hold on, Ranma! You were able to defeat Happosai?" Ryoga asked. "This is the first I'm hearing of this! How did you do it?"

"Yes, that sounds like a dreadful technique, it would shame us as martial artists if you kept it to yourself!" Mousse added.

Both Genma and Cologne joined Ranma in going completely stone faced, as all three of them knew the technique in question.

"Uh... It's something that would only work on that old letch," Ranma muttered. "You guys are better off not knowing..."

"In any event, finding Happosai and making him go somewhere he does not wish to go is a difficult task at the best of times," Cologne said.

"There is one other issue," Genma added. "The scroll says to bring Happosai."

"Yeah, that's what we're talking about, old man..." Ranma rolled his eyes.

"Bring him where?"

The room fell silent. Aha. Okay. Right. Bring Happosai where exactly? No location was specified in the note. Which rather made all possible discussion on the matter... completely pointless. Huh!