Behold, the walk of shame. Normally wlaked by a girl who had sex they regret, but men do walk it too. Collar tucked up around the back of the neck, avoiding eye contact, trying not to smile because of how inferno level hot she is...
Ah, no, don't give in to that kind of thinking! Ranma might be engaged to Nabiki in this world, but technically you just cheated on him from your own world! The way you used to accuse him of doing! No, worse, he probably never did anything but you definitely did! Multiple times! The best thing to do here would be to confess everything. Tell Ranma the truth, and then -
<i>"Oh, so you slept with Shampoo? Well, who is the pervert now?"</i>
Shudder, shudder! He'd be opening himself up to such relentless teasing. Being honest in this situation was impossible! Okay. Okay. Ranma's bound to ask where you were and what you were doing. Time to come up with a good excuse. Alright. Something that won't get you caught out when your alibi doesn't corroborate.
They know he went off with Shampoo. That can't be changed. Can't lie about that. Play it off like - like you got caught up in an intense game at the arcade, then trained for a bit. Yeah. Some intense, sweaty training. Alone. The two of them. Not untrue, but also way too obvious. Akane grasped the sides of his head, desperately hoping to shake something loose. How the hell was he going to get out of this?!
Wait! Ranma went off with Ukyo, right? Ask him what they got up to first! Yeah, that'd do it! Do that first and you can deflect any accusations easily! If anything, it might make Nabiki jealous and - Nah, actually, something like that wouldn't fool Nabiki for a second. Then again, Akane was pretty sure nothing he came up with would.
"I'm home!" he confidently(?) called out while coming in through the front gate. Shoes slipped off, Akane casually(?) strolled in, and resisted the urge to whistle nonchalantly. Because he had just about enough awareness that strolling through the hall whistling nonchalantly was a great way to draw attention to yours-
Cue Ranma, in girl form, with her hands behind her head, casually strolling through the hall whistling to herself. Looking like the sexy little shortstack she was, what with her cute body and ill fitting clothes and helpless tomboyish attitude that made her seem too damned adorable to be real.
"Oh hey, you're back," Ranma said. Then continued on her way without saying anything else.
"Have fun with Ukyo?" Akane asked quickly, trying to stick to the plan.
"Yeah, yeah, she wanted to show me a new recipe she came up with," Ranma said. Then persisted to not ask about Shampoo at all. "What do you care? It's not any of your business, right?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Nabiki asked,somehow getting around Akane's sense of her surroundings to harass her, in a way that no other non-martial artist ever could. "After spending some time fooling around with his hot Chinese girlfriend my little brother wants to get him some pigtailed booty."
As if to emphasise that point, Nabiki smacked Ranma hard on the butt. To Akane's shame, she realised she'd do anything to be that hand at that moment. At the very least Ranma gave Nabiki a look that practically spelled out 'not impressed'. A look that Akane quickly mimicked, which got Nabiki to back off, having had her fun.
"Well, what do I care if that brute wants to go off and fool around with that Chinese floozy?" Ranma huffed. "That's his business, not mine. Not that I could blame him for wanting a piece of this."
Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to bear witness to The Tsunnening. Hold onto your butts and try not to sit too close to your seat in case you fall off.
It begins with Akane's hackles being raised by Ranma's remark there. "Oh please! You're not my type at all!"
"Oh yeah?" Ranma teased right back without missing a beat. She leaned forward, hands under her chin and batted her eyes at Akane. Dammit, stop being so cute! "See? You can't maintain eye contact because of how into me you are!"
As if that would be enough to overcome Akane's stubbornness! "It's only because you're looking at me like a lovestruck chick! You're embarrassing yourself."
"Lovestruck? Me? I'm a straight boy in a cursed body, don't make me laugh. Why would I ever be interested in a handsome, muscular, tall hunk with bulging biceps, numerous shared interests and a powerful, broad back? That sort of thing doesn't work for me at all!"
Most people would, upon hearing that suspiciously specific denial, immediately pick up on it and start flexing a little. No, not metaphorically flexing, literally flexing. Holding up an arm and making the bicep bulge. Actually, in this context it could be seen as metaphorically flexing as well?
However, there's a big problem here. Not just with Akane, but Ranma as well. It's the same problem that arose with the final battle against the Gambling King. Namely...
They're both idiots. Oh my god, they're both such idiots. Never before have you seen such a pair of complete buffoons have an argument, while obviously both liking each other. Unless you've read the works of Rumiko Takahashi extensively, of course. Then, actually, yeah you have seen exactly that several times over.
"And I'm not into busty shortstacks who behave like boys, so there!" Akane stuck his tongue out. Quite mature of him, really.
"Is that why you've been checking these out?" Cue Ranma groping herself in a way no true girl does, but every boy imagines that girls do in secret. "Come on, admit it. You Like these."
The fact that yes, Akane liked them, and was jealous of them when he was a girl honestly did not matter. They were in the midst of The Tsunnening. There could be no confessions of that nature here.
"Now you're just falling for Nabiki's teasing," Akane said. Yes, perfect approach! Change the subject. Imply immaturity. In which case, this would be the time to not stick your tongue out at her, though the urge was indeed mighty. "Stop acting like an idiot."
But Ranma wasn't done, it seemed. "You're into me~" she sang playfully. "Not that anything would ever happen, because I'm not into you. At all. If you tried to lick my breasts, I wouldn't let you. If you tried to caress my thigh, I'd slap your hand away. If you tried to grope me, I'd kick you to the moon. If you tried to penetrate me with your hard throbbing cock over and over again until I passed out - I'd make you pass out first!"
Damn, that was kind of a shame, because right now Akane wanted to do all of those things just to shut Ranma up. Not that he could admit to that either, because holy shit the two of them were dense about their mutual feelings.
"Well, no need to worry about that!" Akane crossed his arms and stuck his nose into the air. "If I wanted any action, I'm sure that Shampoo would be more than happy to accomodate."
"Oh please, I'm a better lay than Shampoo is any day of the week," Ranma scoffed.
“Sure sounds like something a straight boy would say.”
Alas, before the argument could take its next natural step, an intervening force appeared. "Ah, Ranma. Akane. It's time for dinner!" The gentle and serene voice of Kasumi Tendo, playing oblivious as ever to the intense, raw, sexual tension between these two. There's nothing much that can bring a tsundere pair out of their argument than being reminded that other people exist in the world.
<hr>
So, it turned out that Akane being a boy had no effect at all on Kasumi's cooking skills, though she did give slightly bigger portions than normal. Whatever. Akane returned to his room and flopped onto his bed, letting out the mother and father of all weary sighs.
Taking a good look around his room, he barely recognised it. The same sort of furniture was dotted around the room, but it was a lot more boyish. Hard to say why exactly, but that was the impression he had. Way more sporty stuff. As in, way more. Her normal bedroom had a few girly things in it as well. Cute toys, jewelry and suchlike. None of that here. Which made sense.
Akane kipped up and decided to poke around a little. Get a feeling for where everything was. Let's see... He'd hidden his diary under this box of weights, where Nabiki would never be able to lift it even when she did figure out where it was. Did he hide something under here as a boy? If there was a diary here then -
Oh.
There wasn't a diary here.
There was an envelope. Full of pictures. Of Shampoo. And girl form Ranma. Illicit pictures. Not nude. Just... Naughty. Upskirts of Shampoo, Ranma adjusting her collar a little too much to cool down, images like that. A whole stack of them. As in, a lot of them.
Not like the sort of pictures that Gosunkugi would take of her back when he was a girl. No, they were clearly aware of the camera and OK with the shots. Deliberately posing for them. Hell, in this one it looked like Shampoo was holding the camera with one hand, and a towel with another. Akane stared at the pictures for a long time. Longer than he'd like to admit. Then quietly put them away and tried to forget they were there, because the last thing he needed right now was to beat off to hot pictures of those two. Let's look elsewhere and try to find things not connected to the two extremely attractive girls that he was apparently really into.
Like this actual journal, which wasn't nearly as well hidden as it should have been. Thank goodness there was one though. This should at least help Akane with keeping things straight, and not get tripped up on obvious things that would be inconsistent. At least, until he could figure out how to get back to his own life.
- It turns out to be full of details of Akane's 'conquests'. Including Ranma, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi.
- It's all about Akane's martial arts achievements, thank goodness.
- It somehow allows her to communicate with her boy self, who is stuck in her body.
- It's just a normal journal... but Akane does find some answers for what's going on.
- Something else
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