Sunday, 10 March 2019

Story: Mercury Mrs Tendo




This might come as a surprise but Genma Saotome had received some severe nagging in his time. He was a bit of a connoisseur in terms of getting his ear talked off. That Hino woman - to his great annoyance - was quite the master in the craft.

Still, she'd gone off with Soun's wife for a chat. Which was good. That worked for him. He could sit here playing with a tire out of the way, not having to deal with an insane priestess trying everything under the sun to 'cure' him while reaching deep into a thesaurus for every variation on 'idiot' that existed in the Japanese language.

On the other hand this did make him reflect a bit on how much he missed his old friend. Oh, Soun. It was such a tragedy! You never got the chance to meet Ranma. You would have liked him. His dedication to martial arts, his raw talent that Genma had finely honed ever since they'd begun their training journey... Yes, you would have been proud to have him for your son in law. Much as you must be proud of your daughters, for they are all quite lovely in their way. Akane struck him as the one most likely to actually <i>marry</i> Ranma out of the lot of them. Oh, they could have come up with a way to get them to the altar. If anything Genma was sure they'd have been hitched already if Soun had been here to support him.

Come to think on the matter a little further... This did mean that Ranma would have a lot of women around for the first time in his life. A lot of very pretty faces to catch his eye. It wouldn't be so bad if it was only the Tendo daughters... but throw in all these others as well? He'd been good so far. Focused on martial arts. But this many girls, it would have to be a bad influence on the lad. What if he slacked of on training because he wanted to show off to cute girls? A nightmare scenario to be sure.

"Hey pops, you keep on keeping on with that tire."

"Hi, boy!" Genma's sign read. Then he did a double take. For good measure it soon became a triple take and then a quadruple take. Ranma. His son. Was in his cursed girl form. While wearing a sailor fuku. Over what looked like a leotard, fitting his body much in the same way shrink wrap fits over a box. And there went Akane. Wearing a similar outfit.

This was not what Genma had in mind when he was thinking about bad influences from girls. Not even remotely.

"Boy, what are you wearing?!" Genma's newest sign read.

"Gee pops, you sound like a sex pest when you put it like that," Ranma answered. Then looked down at herself. Pay attention and you could almost see the lightbulb flash on in her head. "I mean... teehee, isn't it the cutest?" She <b>posed.</b> It made Genma’s head start to hurt. Naturally, that was exactly what the little troll was after.

"Change out of that."

"Nuh uh!" Ranma protested in as girly a manner as possible. To the point that Akane let out a distinctly unfeminine growl. Ranma then went on to twirl around, clasping her hands behind her back. "We gotta take pictures for posterity, pops. I mean, daddy." She said before giggling.

Super effective! Genma could feel Nodoka's spirit lingering over him, ready to swing the blade!

"Too girly!" Akane complained, having dropped to her knees. "It's too girly to be real! Why is a boy so cute?"

<i>”Yes why is my son so cute?”</i> his wife’s voice echoed in Genma’s mind.

"Daddy, whatever is the problem?" Ranma asked, getting right in Genma's face and batting her eyes innocently and cutely. "Teehee! You're being a silly panda, daddy!"

Genma roared and tried to bop Ranma on the head with a sign, but the girl skipped out of the way. "Cut that out!" the sign read.

"Daddy, whatever is the matter?" Ranma giggled and skipped and frolicked relishing in the troll. "By the wa~ay, I met a cute boy and we'd like to go out on a da~ate!"

This was the point where Akane got up and started tweaking Ranma's ear. "Too far, too far," she said.

"You're just jealous because one of us is cute and the other is not."

Challenge thrown down and silently accepted.

"Ranma, don't you know how badly it hurts when you call a girl uncute?" Behold the ultimate attack: Puppy dog eyes! Combine that with the pouting face that every little girl learns to pull off before they turn 10 and you had a lethal weapon of cuteness. "It's so meeeean!"

This placed Ranma in an impossible situation. He was completely weak and vulnerable to a cute girl crying, but on the other hand he knew full well she was challenging him to a cute-off. Ranma.exe has encountered a critical error. Must rise to challenge, but also must not make girl cry.

"Ranma Saotome! I swear, if you're making Akane cry!"

You've never seen a fuku clad girl leap away from another so quickly. Nor have you ever seen the girl being leaped away from suddenly showing maximum smugness.

To Genma's annoyance it seemed as though Rei "the nagger" Hino had made her return alongside Ami. To his further annoyance their eyes were both sparkling.

"Eeeh!" both women - fully grown women - let out an excited high pitched noise that Genma initially mistook for an air raid siren. "They're adorable!"

"See? I told you!"

Behold the newest torment of Genma's life. A certain pink haired bitch who was far too strong for her own good. Genma noted that she was also wearing the same kind of outfit as Ranma and Akane were, so this whole thing was probably her idea somehow. Good to have someone to blame for this humiliation.

"Pictures!" Rei insisted. Ami then produced a camera out of nowhere. "Ami! Put on your director's hat! We must preserve this for eternity!"

“I don’t think that’s quite necessa-” But Ranma and Akane's dual protestation died when Ami put her hat on, straightened it out, and then sat down in a chair that Makoto had brought out of... somewhere or other.

"Quiet on set!" Ami said. "Makoto, Usagi, Rei. Your cameras at the ready. Now! Ranma, put your hands on your hips and raise your head up high! Akane, crouch on the ground with your arms spread out like a bird's wings."

"Uh... like this?"

Genma fell over as the two of them awkwardly entered those poses. D-dammit, why did this have to be so adorable?! Somehow the fact that they didn't really want to do this made the entire ordeal all that much cuter! He should stop this. He really should stop this.

"Make yourself useful and take some pictures."

Damn you, little pink haired bitch! Corrupting Ranma this way!

"Stick out your tongue a little bit. Wink. No, not that much. Put your thumbs up. Perfect!"

Oh, Nodoka! Please don't ever find out about this. Or at least please understand that Genma was completely powerless to stop this onslaught of girly pictures being taken of your son!

"Side hug! Akane, put your hands on Ranma's hips. Ranma, put your hands protectively on Akane's shoulders! Side hug, side hug! Now turn towards each other and look each other right in the eyes..."

Hold on. That wasn't Ami's voice. Genma stopped taking pictures and suddenly noticed that another girl had joined them. Soun and Ami's middle daughter, Nabiki Tendo. She was standing by her mother taking pictures like the rest of them. Pictures of Ranma and Akane looking like they were about to start kissing any second now...

Cue a repeat of earlier, with two sailor fuku wearing girls jumped away from each other like they were tightly wound springs.

"Too late," Nabiki said, quite deliberately standing behind her mother while fiddling with the camera. "My, my. You two looked so <i>adorable</i> together. I can't wait to see what everyone at school thinks."

"Nabiki! Don't you dare!" Akane yelled, marching threateningly over towards her.

"What? You want me to hold these wonderful, adorable pictures from the public? That's so selfish!"

"Nabiki..." Ami warned. There it was, the tone that a mother uses when their child has done something they know they should not. "Don't tease your sister."

"Oh, alright," Nabiki sighed. However, Genma's senses as a martial artist were warning him that her next blow would be far deadlier. "Although I have to wonder... Would Ranma please consent to a few <i>experiments</i>? That curse of his is so interesting. My curiosity is piqued. I simply must find out how it works."

"And no blackmailing Ranma into becoming your lab rat," Ami immediately added. "That's quite rude."

"But mom! It's for his own good as well!" Nabiki said. If you believed that had anything to do with her motivation, then Genma had a bridge or three to sell you. "What if he gets stuck as a girl?"

"Hrmph! As if mother would ever fall for something like -"

"You know, that's a good point," Ami said. She thoughtfully stroked her chin and took off her director's hat, passing it back to Makoto - who had now appeared with what looked like a lab coat. "When you consider the hormonal shifts that one must endure upon shifting genders, there are any number of psychological ramifications that must be taken into account."

"Well this has been fun but I really have to get going!" Ranma said. Alas, boy. You weren't going anywhere. As she leaped away Usagi gripped onto her ankles and dragged her back down to earth. Now, if Genma were a good man or a good father then this is where he might pipe up. Object, tell them to leave his son be.

But... You know, the boy did need to learn a thing or two about respecting his elders. Or to put it another way, Ranma should take this as payback for that girly act earlier. He had this coming!

  1. Cue Ranma entering Ami Mizuno's laboratory. It's a bit more expansive and advanced than one might expect.
  2. Akane and Usagi resume training with Genma.
  3. Meanwhile Ryoga Hibiki runs into Minako and asks for directions.
  4. Something else

No comments:

Post a Comment