Sunday, 17 March 2019

Story: UY Side Effects




By this point Shinobu had hung around aliens from another world and culture to the point even she wasn't quite sure what was normal anymore. Still. Something felt a little bit off about these two today.

"Shinobu, do you think Darling will like this perfume?" Lum asked.

"Hpmh! Not nearly as much as he will like my new dress!" Ran huffed.

One thing was for sure. It wasn't the way these two were mooning over that boy. In Lum's case it came down to a matter of taste. In Ran's, it was a bottomless chasm of spite towards Lum. Still... Something was pounding, pounding, pounding away at the back of her head.

"Oh gosh, I can't wait until he gets here," Lum said. Yeah. Neither could Shinobu. This party would really get fun when Ataru got here. He always made things more interesting. By hitting on every girl in sight. Wait, that wasn't fun. That was infuriating! "Maybe we'll play a game of spin the bottle... Or five minutes in heaven... Or King's game!"

"Teehee! Sounds like Lum is getting as dirty minded as Darling!" Ran teased. Dirty minded. Shinobu gulped. As soon as Lum had mentioned playing those games, Shinobu had accidentally imagined herself and Ataru playing them together. "Then again, it's not hard to see why. When he took me out on a date, he was so much more eager to spend time with me. Unlike <b>some</b> Oni."

Wait. Hold on. That really was wrong. Shinobu shook off the image of herself and Ataru stuck in a closet together for five minutes - which took considerably more effort than she'd like to admit - and stared quite hard at Ran. That girl was supposed to be smitten with Rei. Right? The whole thing where she was pursuing Ataru, that was entirely to needle Lum. Wasn't it?

"You two are acting weird," Shinobu said, stepping back from the two. Yes. They were definitely acting weird. "I mean, Lum. You didn't even react just now when Ran said she went out on a date with Dar- With Ataru."

"I knew about it," Lum sighed. "She tied me up in a closet to do it."

"That's not the point!" Shinobu yelled. "Also, the idea of playing those games with Ataru Moroboshi and a bunch of girls... that's just asking for trouble!"

"It is?" Ran asked. Like she had genuinely no idea. From the way Lum was looking at her, it was like she didn't know either. "Why?"

"Because he'd take the chance to do nasty, dirty, perverted stuff to us!" Shinobu answered. This time keeping her voice quieter. The two of them stared at her like she'd just proclaimed herself the King and Queen and also the High Waffle of Spain all at once.

“Like?” Ran said.

"W-well, if he was to become King he might - " Shinobu wet her lips and stared off into the distance. "He - he might order us to dance for him."

"That sounds like fun," Lum said.

Yeah. Now that she said it out loud, that did kind of sound like... Wait, no it wasn't! Shinobu shook her head. Okay! Concentrate, girl! Stay focused on what matters here. These two alien girls are definitely being affected by... something or other, and it's making them act weird. Probably something Ataru did. But taking them on and breaking them out of it by herself wouldn't work, not for an ordinary girl like her. She needed help!

And the universe heard her thought and gave her -

"Hello!" a pair of twins said in unison. They strode into the room like they owned the place and started taking pictures. It was kind of eerie how perfectly they moved in unison, almost like they were dancing around each other.

"I'm Koiki!"

"I'm Saeko!"

"And together we are! The one and only Gemini Journalists!"

The sound of an audience applauding filled the room, before the twins discreetly shut off the cassette player they had set up to go with their introduction. Huh? Hold on now, the one and only? Weren't there two of them?

"So? Where is that big handsome stud?" the girl that had identified herself as Saeko asked. She was squating down, shielding her eyes and looking around while her twin sister was standing up and doing much the same thing but looking in the opposite direction.

The two then suddenly switched without warning, Saeko rising to her feet and Koiki dropping to her knees. "We came here to interview the boy that saved the Earth from Oni invasion, Ataru 'sex god' Moroboshi!"

Shinobu then made a noise that she had never made before. It sounded to her ears a lot like laughter mixed with an air raid siren. Her stomach started hurting, so she keeled over and started slapping her open palm on the floor. It was the only way to let out the strain. The idea of it! Ataru Moroboshi, a 'sex god'? Hah!

Unfortunately for this girl she didn't realise that laughing like this was causing her to take great big lungfuls of air. Need I remind you that this room had that hypnotic potpourri still in it, and so she was not going to find this idea funny for very long.

"Miss, Miss!" the twins said, each one holding out a microphone to a different alien babe. "How did you meet that wonderful super stud Ataru Moroboshi?"

"We met when my daddy challenged humanity to a game of tag. He proposed after he won, and I fell for him right away. He was so tenacious it was adorable."

"He helped me out when Lum was being mean to poor li'l Ran. He was soooo nice!"

Okay. Okay. Enough of that. Shinobu sucked in the laughter and rose to her feet. Both microphones were suddenly pointed in her direction and the two of them nodded, making it clear they wanted to know her answer.

“He asked me to play doctor when we were five. But he's hardly - ”

"There you have it!" the twins said, turning away and walking off in unison, just like they were talking in unison. "Stay tuned, for soon we will unlock the mysteries of the hunkiest man alive. What's his name?"

"Ataru!" Lum and Ran cheered. Lum seemed pretty pleased with this what with the way she cartwheeled in mid-air, but Ran put her hand over her mouth and gasped as she seemed quite embarrassed by the whole thing.

"Can you guys just stop this already?" Shinobu asked. "This is crazy talk! Ataru Moroboshi is not a sex god! Where did you even get that idea?"

"Correct me if we're wrong," Koiki asked while Saeko made a rather exaggerated gesture towards Lum. "But isn't that oni girl way, way above his league?"

Shinobu looked the bikini clad alien girl over. No question of that. Most girls would kill for a body like that and she made it look effortless. No question that she was above his league. The only guy she'd ever met who actually met her standard of beauty was also the dumbest thing she had ever encountered. A group that included the rock she'd stepped on while coming here.

Shinobu sniffed. "Well, that's a fluke. She's an alien. They're weird."

"Didn't you used to date him?"

"Y-yeah, so what? We knew each other since we were little!" Shinobu said. "Anyway, this whole thing is ridiculous. Ataru Moroboshi is not a sex god. The idea is absurd!"

"Really?" Lum asked. "I mean... there was that ghost girl. And the girl cursed by the rain spirit. Kurama seemed pretty interested in him for a good long time before she went back to sleep."

"I'm pretty sure Oyuki would fool around with him if given half the chance."

Conformity is an insidious thing. It's by far the most common and pervasive manner of social influence. Behave like your peers. The nail that's stuck up gets hammered down. Stick a person in a room full of people who have been instructed to agree vehemently that two plus two equals five, and that person will nod along in agreement with everyone else. We all feel it. That need to belong. It's been exploited ruthlessly by cult leaders and populists throughout human history to trick people into thinking that up is down, that black is white. But in this case it was making a confused and slightly suggestible human girl think that her ex-boyfriend might well have been a sex god and she never knew it.

The thought made her nervous. Lum and Ran's behaviour made a startling sense in that light. It was easy to imagine Lum finally managing to bed him and then the experience drove her to distraction. Then maybe Ran tried her hand to get under Lum's skin, only to find that riding Ataru Moroboshi cowgirl style was a more wild ride than any roller coaster.

Had she... missed out on something amazing? Now Shinobu wasn't a pervert by any means, but... Still. The question did linger in her mind. To the point that she didn't even notice the twins virtually hanging off her body.

"He is," Saeko whispered. "He is a god of sex."

"And you know that he wants you," Koiko whispered. "The reason he wants a harem, it's so obvious."

"... It is?" Shinobu asked. She blinked slowly, unaware that the twins were luring her into their trap. Inch by inch. Moment by moment. They'd have her thinking it as well: That a harem is fine, too.

  1. The twins resume their 'interview', read: Gradual brainwashing of the trio into wanting to join Ataru's harem.
  2. The twins are interrupted when someone not under the potpourri influence comes in.
  3. Meanwhile Ryoko encounters more of her friends struggling with their new urges.
  4. Ataru encounters some of Ryoko's friends.
  5. Something else

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