Sunday, 24 March 2019

Story: Akane + Shampoo 2 to 1




Konatsu had long since known that paradise existed. While out on deliveries she had caught glimpses of it. Fleeting visions of people sitting together and eating an extravagant lunch, some even going so far as to have meat sandwiches - with two slices of bread! Even the dream of sitting with those people felt too... out there, too expensive a luxury to experience.

And now, look at her. In a clean school uniform (female) sitting with her saviour (girl in boy's uniform) having lunch together. It was enough to bring her to tears. Look at her now, she was living the high life. Also for some reason those tight fitting trousers were making Konatsu's front tail feel funny whenever she looked at them.

Meanwhile, off in the background and unnoticed by both 'girls': Tatewaki Kuno was sent flying backwards at a very high speed. He didn't seem entirely displeased with this experience. In point of fact, he got right back up and somehow managed to find a white horse to ride back in on, while brandishing a bouquet of flowers in each hand.

“So, Konatsu, what made you decide to head to school here?”

Those trousers. Those legs. That waist. That nice and round...

"W-well, I felt that it would be best if I remained in contact with the people who rescued me," Konatsu said. "You're all such wonderful people. You, Ranma and Akane are all such noble, wonderful people."

Meanwhile, Ranma (boy form) and Akane were engaged in an argument. Akane, for whatever reason, was holding an axe over her head while Ranma was trying in vain to calm her down. Then, someone off to their left said something indistinct - and suddenly the two reversed their position.

"Well, that's really swell of you to say, sugar." Ah! That smile! It was radiant like the sun, serene like a lullaby and so tenderly inviting. Konatsu dearly wished she could smile like that. Maybe... maybe if she pressed her lips towards Ukyo's she could understand how it felt? Yes, that made sense. Then maybe she could learn to mimic it. Of course it may prove necessary to use her tongue to trace out the contours of Ukyo's mouth so she could fully appreciate the way she was using her muscles... "Uh, you're scooting kinda close there, hun."

"S-sorry!" Gosh whatever was she thinking approaching without permission? Such a naughty kunoichi. Why, it would be well within Miss Kuonji's rights to put Konatsu over her knee for such rude behaviour.

"Ah, don't think anything of it." Such benevolence! Such kindness. "You know, I gotta admit. You're really pretty."

Pretty? Did she say that Konatsu was pretty?! The 'girl' put her hands to her cheeks feeling a heat rise up. Oh even if she was just being polite it was more than she deserved!

Meanwhile in the background Akane was on top of Ranma's shoulders and they appeared to be jousting with Kuno and his white horse. That is to say, Kuno was carrying the white horse rather than the other way around, and the horse had a lance in its teeth. By lance we mean a particularly large carrot.

"Say, you wouldn't mind giving me a few beauty tips, would you?" Ukyo asked. "It's just, you know. What with the whole 'renouncing my femininity thing' and spending the best part of my adolescence duelling against the raging ocean I haven't had much time to learn this makeup stuff."

M-Makeup? She was this perfect without makeup?! Sure enough, on closer inspection Konatsu couldn't see any sign of makeup on this perfect face. No lipstick, no blush, no foundation, nothing on the eyelashes... This was a natural face. The mind boggled at what she'd look like with makeup on.

Meanwhile the duel between Ranma, Akane and Tatewaki Kuno took on a whole new dimension when Hikaru Gosunkugi strode into the middle of it dressed up like a clown for some reason. He was resoundly ignored by the pair of them - but this still resulted in Kuno getting a faceful of cream pie after stepping on a banana peel.

"Well, I wouldn't mind teaching you. If - if that's what you want," Konatsu said. "W-Would you like me to help you with your wardrobe as well?"

"Yeah, that'd be super!" Ukyo said. "See, there's someone I got my eye on, but the competition is pretty fierce."

"Fine then!" Akane's voice boomed out over the entire school. "Go on a date with him already, then! See if I care! Wait, no! Date me instead!"

"And by fierce I mean stupid," Ukyo said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Huh? Really now? Konatsu mulled this over for a moment. Ukyo Kuonji in fierce competition for someone's affections? Well, that simply would not do! It boggled her mind a bit, but still. The very idea that someone could possibly compete with her... it simply didn't make any sense at all! What right minding person didn't crave the chance to strip off all of her clothes cover her in something sweet and then spend the next several hours thoroughly licking it all off? Such a thing was utterly unthinkable for Konatsu to consider!

"Pardon me," Konatsu said. She rose and bowed. "I shall be back shortly, there is something important I have to check up on."

<hr>

Honestly, that boy! He could be so infuriating sometimes! Akane was standing in front of a sink in the girl's bathroom, washing her hands as thoroughly as you like. Blast but this cream gotten <i>everywhere</i>, how had that boy done it? Actually she should consider working on finding out how as this could be a potentially interesting weapon for the future.

How she had gotten involved in that stupid clown jousting was a horrible memory she did not want to linger on. Then again if she wasn't careful she'd have to think about the fact that she'd accidentally turned down Ranma for a date because Tatewaki Kuno annoyed her so much. Ugh! That boy was impossible! It felt like he'd been a thorn in her side ever since she'd found out about his existence!

Deep breath. Deep breath. This was fine. She could salvage this. Ranma wasn't actually going to go out on a date with a boy, no matter what. Well... except that one time with the sword, and that other time to get that boy to take his medicine, and that other time when he thought he might get a cure... Anyway! He was probably annoyed with Kuno as well. She could easily play off that annoyance when the boy wasn't around to get him to agree to hang out. Maybe kiss a little. In the midst of a nice spar. Ooh, the ideal date. The thought of it sent shivers down her spine, so romantic!

"Miss Akane! I require assistance!"

<hr>

Inside Akane/Shampoo's amalgamated mind...

"See? If she was a boy she would not dare enter the girl's restroom so freely!"

"All this proves is that he's a pervert!"

<hr>

Hrm. Konatsu, asking for help? A cruel side of her said that this was the perfect exploit. A way to get back at Ranma. On the other hand... the not so cruel side of her was saying 'look at this cutie, do you want to make them cry?' Weirdly the crueler side of her was using female pronouns to refer to Konatsu and the not so cruel side male... But whatever!

"What's the problem?"

"If I wanted to prettify someone... How would I go about doing so?"

The heavens wept. The forces of hell let loose a terrible laugh. Nearby cats and dogs yowled and prepared to pounce, flinching before an unseen predator many times their size. Omens fell upon Furinkan warning of a terrible fate due in the future. If not for them, for someone. A truly terrible fate indeed. You must understand, Akane's thought process went something like this.

Ukyo is a friend but also a rival for Ranma's affections. Konatsu wants to mount Ukyo so obviously she might as well be wearing a neon sign. Konatsu is also kind of cute. If she learns to weaponize that cuteness and gets into Ukyo's bed, this will knock off her only major rival.

Priorities realigned. Not only would she be helping Konatsu, but also Ukyo and herself. Win, win, win all around. Play things off properly and they might even be attending each other's weddings by the end of the year! Huzzah!

Do note that she hadn't grasped the possibility that Konatsu might want to learn how to make someone pretty so that she could selflessly help Ukyo get boned by Ranma. Once you make that connection you can kind of understand how things might not turn out so well for certain people in Furinkan.

  1. Meanwhile: Gosunkugi spots a chance to torment Ranma, and gives Kuno a thing to help ensure he gets a date with girl form Ranma.
  2. Meanwhile: Ranma complains to Ukyo about his situation. Then idly comments that Ukyo's lucky to have someone like Konatsu doting on her.
  3. Akane begins Konatsu's lessons in being a pretty girl. Mistakes were made.
  4. Konatsu somehow winds up with a magical macguffin.
  5. Something else

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