Sunday, 31 March 2019

Story: Akane + Shampoo 2 to 1




Konatsu woke up feeling like a Queen. Ah, what a comfortable and refreshing sleep that had been! Far better than any night 'she'd' had under her step-parent's roof. On opening 'her' eyes, 'she' looked around the reason for that became quite apparent. What a truly luxurious location to take a nap! Could she truly be called worthy? Slumbering as she was curled up in the doorway to Uchan's?

Rising to her feet, Konatsu stretched out and used her key to enter. It seemed that Ukyo was out on errands. Well, that was fine. While she was gone her humble servant Konatsu could certainly clean and sweep - although... these clothes were quite dirty. Oh dear. And she didn't have anything else to change into! Well. Except for that apron. Yes, that seemed appropriate... If she took off these clothes and changed into an apron, Konatsu felt quite certain that Mistress Ukyo would be very happy with her. For being careful with her attire.

"Pardon me, is this place open?" a random girl on the street asked. "I'm in the mood for some okonomiyaki."

"I love you!" Konatsu suddenly yelled, embracing the girl with all of her might before just as suddenly disembarking. "My apologies Miss. The chef is out for the time being. I am but a lowly waitress."

"Is okay," the girl said. Oh dear. For some reason she was swaying on her feet and - To Konatsu's horror, she was showing severe symptoms of a disease she had once heard about from her wicked step-family! The dreaded 'Heart-Pupil-This-Is-Not-A-Real-Disease-You-Stupid-Ugly-Bitch-itis." (Or “Heartbitchitis” for short). The symptoms include, but are not limited to, one's pupils spontaneously taking on the shape of a beating heart, nervous sweating, shallow breathing and staring extremely intensely at one person in particular. "I can wait, you don't mind. Right?"

"M-Miss, come inside right away! You need treatment!" Konatsu gasped, gently yet forcefully guiding this young woman inside. "Please sit down. I must administer cold water to your forehead to bring down the fever."

Little did Konatsu realise but walking away from this girl and leaning down to search a cupboard was the exact worst thing that could be done to bring down this girl's fever. The last time there was this kind of quiet lewd staring was that one time where Happosai had laryngitis on the day of a big swim meet.

"I'm telling you man, this place makes okonomiyaki to die for."

"Ah, I don't even like okonomiyaki.."

"I love you! I love you!"

Two hugs in quick succession for the lucky boys who had come inside for a quick lunch. Instead they got something better: A hug from a super cute and ultra pretty kunoichi, telling them that 'she' loved them!

"Oh no, it's spreading!" Konatsu gasped. "Please, the three of you! Remain here. We may need to set up a quarantine zone! I trust this will not be a problem?"

Locked in this restaurant with this cute babe? The two boys and the sole girl stared quite intensely at Konatsu and let out a bashful laugh.

It begins.

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Here's a newsflash. Ukyo Kuonji was head over heels in love with Ranma Saotome. Pretty much always had been. Even when she was super pissed off at him for, I don't know call it ten years she was only feeling that way because it felt like her feelings of adoration had been stepped on, kicked aside and tossed out with the trash.

That being said. There were some things that she might just love even more than that pigtailed dork. Case in point: That pigtailed dork suffering from his own pride.

"It's your own fault you know," Ukyo said. Look at her. Ranma Saotome, girl form. Creeping along the walls, looking out for errant kendo idiot. "You should just tell him about the curse."

"Oh gee, what a cunning insight," Ranma said. "I should tell that complete doofus about my curse. Why, I could even demonstrate it right before his eyes. I'm sure nothing could go wrong with this, no sir! It's not like he's the kind of guy who would yell and scream about me being an evil sorcerer and enemy of women."

Ah. This was a little bit nasty of her, but she could hardly help herself. So cute! Even the dripping venomous sarcasm was completely adorable. It was the contrast. That body and that attitude did not belong together, causing a significant multiplying factor when it came to appeal.

"Well, I mean. You kind of are an enemy of women, Ranchan!" Ukyo slapped the girl on the shoulder. "A boy that can turn into a girl? One this cute and busty? When you're already such a handsome charming guy?"

"When you put it that way..." Ranma said. Never one to turn down a compliment. The girl then suddenly froze and jumped really high into the air.

"You! Kuonji girl!" a certain kendoist said. "I have often seen you with the pigtailed girl. Have you any knowledge of where she might be?"

"It's over my head," Ukyo said. She shrugged for effect and Tatewaki Kuno stormed off with roses in hand. A little after that Ranma landed. What a novel hiding place. Ukyo rolled her eyes and pulled a kettle out of somewhere. She wasn't entirely sure where and trying to figure it out made her eyes water, so she decided to pour its contents over Ranma instead. "There. Isn't that better?"

"Fiend! Where do you hide her!"

Punt. Ukyo shielded her eyes and did an estimation. Not quite a personal best, she'd once seen Ranma punt Happosai twice that distance. Not that it did any good because the perverted old man was back a second later.

Still... This was a good and rare chance. The way Ranma was right now the last thing he wanted to deal with was this perpetual annoyance. So? How about instead he spend some time with a cute girl who happened to be a childhood friend and an awesome enough cook to own her own business?

"Say, Ranchan. How about we head back to Uchan's and - "

"There you are!"

Aaaaand there goes the neighborhood. On sheer reflex alone Ukyo stepped away from Ranma. She'd seen what Akane was capable of when she thought her stake in her 'airen' was threatened. Kodachi still had a phobia of water fountains to this very day, and the words 'It is not as if I am doing this because I like him' still made her pale as a ghost. So yeah. Even though she was on Akane's good side - not messing with her. Nope. Not happening.

Oh well. Better luck next time. Now Akane was bound to drag Ranma off in her weird affectionate-cum-tsundere way.

"Honestly, what kind of chef leaves their restaurant alone like that?" Akane asked Ukyo. Completely ignoring Ranma. Which, Ukyo noticed, was annoying the boy more than a little. "I had to drop off your new slave in your doorstep as they had fallen asleep!"

New slave...? Did Ukyo have a slave? She didn't remember anything like that. Well, there was that dream about Ranma the other night that took a kinkier turn than usual. Maybe Konatsu knew who she meant.

...

"Oh, you're talking about Konatsu?" Ukyo said. Akane gave her a look that screamed 'who the bloody hell did you think I meant?!' But Ukyo wasn't backing down. Akane was a lot less scary when Ranma wasn't on the line. "Konatsu is not my slave!"

"How much are you paying Konatsu for their work?"

"Hey, I'm giving them room and board!"

"Slave owners often do..."

"Girls, do not fight! Allow me, Tatewaki Kuno, to ease your -"

Punt! This time with all three of them giving the idiot a good hard kick. Ugh! Ukyo was not in the mood to enjoy trolling Ranma anymore. "Come on, I'll make you guys dinner," she grumbled. "Not free! You're both paying. Got it!"

Ranma grumbled, but Akane seemed happy to come along. Which was suspicious.

"So why were you hanging out with Konatsu anyhow?" Ranma asked. "Seems kind of strange she'd fall asleep like that when you were around. You didn't do anything funny to her, didja?"

"Funny?" Akane asked. "Funny like what?"

"Like scrubbing her memory or activating a cat's tongue pressure point or putting a reverse love pendant around her neck or - "

"Those were accidents!" Akane protested. Unconvincingly, might Ukyo add. "Every single one was an accident."

"You accidentally washed my head while I was asleep with a technique that just so happened to make me forget that we'd gone on a date, but not the fact that I'd agreed to go on a date with you."

"Well, you're always calling me clumsy. Doesn't that seem like something I'd do?"

Unseen by all, but within a certain girl's soulspace one of the two girls occupying it gave the other a rather harsh stinkeye.

Well, Ukyo had her fun. Might as well try to suck it up to the pair of them. If only there was some way she could drive a wedge in between them. Ugh! It was driving her up the wall, nothing seemed to work on these two! Maybe if she... Uh... Why was there a crowd of people outside her restaurant?

"I love you!"

"Eeeehhh!"

"Don't tell me, this was a clumsy accident too?" Ukyo asked. Out the corner of her eye she saw Akane trying to sneak off while Ranma held her in place.

  1. Ukyo doesn’t get an explanation, instead she has to deal with a group of thirsty (and not in the way a soda can solve) customers.
  2. Even Ukyo falls victim to the effects of Konatsu's hug. It can't be helped. Too cute!
  3. Meanwhile, Kuno becomes a tree for pretty much no good reason.
  4. Something Else

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