Story: Konosuba Succubus Shop

From the outside, this manor looked completely normal. So far as manors go, that is to say. It was a building. Probably owned by someone rather wealthy. Well, no actually. Its owner was on the brink of abject poverty at all times. Pity poor Kazuma. Due to the eclectic nature of his party members, he could hardly hold enough gold to live as well off as such a place would imply. Each room had the bare minimum furnishings that each room of its type would be expected to have. No luxuries could be afforded as yet. It was a place to stay, but could not yet be called a home.

"Where did you want this?" Darkness asked, hefting a bed single handedly from the front with her usual monstrous strength. "It's Kazuma's bed."

"The fireplace would be ideal," Aqua answered, then hummed and pointed instead to a spare corner of the living room. "Be sure to bathe afterwards. You might catch NEET-itis!"

"N-NEET-itis?" Darkness quivered, unconsciously stroking her hand against the pillow.

"Yes, it's a truly terrible disease," Aqua mused, not really paying her any mind at all. "It would be better off falling into the hands of a demon than catching something like that."

"R-really?" Darkness squirmed.

"Oh yes, without a doubt" Aqua went on. "It would reduce even the strongest willed person into a total wretch of a human being. The infected become pathetic beyond belief." By this point Darkness was rubbing her cheek up against the quilt and breathing quite heavily. "Compared to that existence, being a demon's prisoner for life would be much more desirable."


"Y-You don't say!" Darkness pressed her nose to the fabric and took a deep, deep breath. "Tell me more about this horrible ailment! I must be sure to beware the symptoms, in myself and others."


"Ahem!" Megumin coughed from the doorway. She was carrying a chair in front of her from the dining room. "Aqua, it may be my imagination but it looks like you haven't lifted a single solitary piece of furniture, even though this was all your idea."

To which the beautiful Goddess nodded, and smiled down at the mighty explosive obsessed wizard. In this moment, with her tone and facial expression she seemed to become the very embodiment of the Goddess she truly was. "Well, of course. That is only natural. I am saving my strength for the purification ritual. It would hardly do to exhaust myself by first carrying heavy items through the house."

"Um... Aqua, couldn't you have visited every room in turn and cast a much smaller series of spells than this?" Megumin asked. "I mean, that way you could have purified everything and we wouldn't have to carry all the furniture here, then back again once it was purified."

Aqua's eye twitched. Had Kazuma been there, he would have thought something like 'that did not occur to you until right this second, did it you worthless Goddess?'

"N-Not at all! Ohohoho!" Aqua laughed nervously. Not so confident or Goddess like in demeanour as before. "Th-the only way we can be truly certain the demonic contagion is eradicated is to purify all the furniture at once!"


"Eh?" Darkness gasped, lifting her face from the quilt covers for a moment, though still pressing it to the side of her face. "But... What if the demon did something to the walls, door, ceiling, windows, or floor of a room in the building? Wouldn't you still need to cast the spells for each room anyway?"

Silence reigned within the room. It was awkward. It was uncomfortable. After a heavy moment, Aqua toppled the reign with a hearty, enthusiastic, "Well, we've got it all here already! I might as well cast the spell now!"


Behold, ladies and gentlemen. These are the ones with the 'really good' classes within Kazuma's party.

As Aqua got on with it, Darkness and Megumin stepped off to the side. This time it was the Crusader who was deep in thought. "It is strange though isn't it?" Darkness said. "A demon snuck in last night, but the only trace of it we have is Aqua's certainty that it happened."

"An Arch-Priestess would have a good nose for that sort of thing," Megumin nodded sagely. "If a demon snuck in here last night, it must have been up to something. Perhaps word of my explosive magic has reached the Demon's Realm, and they decided to spy on me?"

Yet Darkness shook her head. "No. They could employ human servants to plant scrying spells on us easily enough. A demon coming here themselves implies it was something only they could do, but the only unique skills demons have is some form or other of 'corruptive' magic that brings out bad traits of their victims. Why come here personally, except to corrupt us in some way."

"But we're all acting normally," Megumin observed. Then, as one, Arch-Wizard and Crusader turned very slowly to look at one another. "You don't think -"

"It might be..." Darkness continued.

"That Kazuma was attacked by a demon last night?!" they said in unison.

While they did that Aqua wiped her brow, nodded and said "Alright, great work! Let's get this all back to where it should be!"

<hr>
You know, the more he thought about it the better this deal seemed. It really sucked giving up those amazing dreams and a good night's sleep but having access to a trinket like this? Bargain! Anything that let him have an edge in combat would be a serious help!

It might even help him hit a little above his normal level. Sure, the bigger monsters would still be a huge threat, but things normally just a little outside of his reach? Fifty percent was a huge damage reduction! Although it did raise questions within his curious mind as he walked home.

Say he pricked his finger on a thorn. Would he feel it? Would he bleed from it? What if the damage was one whole point? Would it round up or would it round down? What if he caught a cold or some other disease? Would pulling his hair count as damage inflicted? Tweaking his nose? A slap to the face? The battle potential was obvious. Outside of it, less so.

"Kazuma!"

Case in point, being tackled to the ground by a Crusader and and Arch-Wizard. Didn't hurt half as much as he was expecting although more to the point!

"Hey! Get off me!" he yelled at them. "What moronic idea has gotten into your heads?"

"Sorry for being a bit rough," Darkness said, grabbing firm hold of his arm and pinning it back ot the pavement. It wasn't going anywhere. "Oh, it feels a little strange tying down someone else. I don't think I like it very much... But it's for your own good so I must force myself to do something which I don't want to do!"

"... Which does make you feel good," Kazuma cooly noted, then switched back to panic. He had to get these girls off of him and he knew just the way! "Megumin! Are you sure you want to be doing that, mind my dangerous hand..."

"If that hand does go where you're trying to threaten, then I'll blow it off."

That was no idle threat! Kazuma retracted his hand, that bluff would not fly here! Ah, but now along came the chief idiot. Aqua, towering over him with a strangely menacing grin. With the other two girls pinning him down, trapping his arms and legs she knelt down by his head and put her hand to his forehead.

"Hey, hey! Could someone mind telling me what this is all about? Help, I'm being assaulted for no good reason! My party must be under some kind of mind control, or maybe they're drunk!"

To which Aqua tweaked his nose with her spare hand. "Hmph, and this is what we get for trying to help you, is it?" she asked. "Going out of our way to save you from demonic influence? When this is done, I expect a thank you, grand Goddess Aqua, for you light up my life with every glimpse I have of your radiant face and divine body."

"A thanks for the two of us would hardly go amiss," Megumin said. "Or I could blast it out of you if you want."

"No, no! That won't be necessary! I'll be good! Thank you for your kindness!" You damned psychopaths, the whole lot of you!

"Aha! Just as I thought!" Aqua suddenly proclaimed. "That's a succubus dream. I expect they were planning to turn you into their eternal love-slave. Easily solved! Purification!"

A bright light filled his vision, and then Kazuma felt it. Tears began to flow down his face. The lingering memories of his really nice dream from last night, disappearing into the ether. Stolen from him by this despicable Goddess! Once she was finished the girls let him stand up again.

"All done!" Aqua dusted her hands. "There. No more succubus influence. You'd better head inside and rest up, I bet they probably took some of your vitality as well. Um... Darkness, Megumin, why don't you go look for a mission while I try to track down this sneaky succubus? I bet they're up to something really devious right under our noses!"

Kazuma wanted to object, but he just could not find the strength to it. Besides which, if he did object then the existence of the succubus shop would surely come out... Ugh. Maybe she was right? Maybe he should rest up? Then as soon as he could, he'd get word to one of the other clients, and get them to warn the shop that Aqua was onto them. Maybe they could co-ordinate some way to keep her away? Off the girls went, and so he went inside to put his feet up.

"Why is all the furniture in heeeeere?!" he yelled.

<hr>
While this was going on Kazuma was being watched like a hawk. All demons have heightened senses, and the succubus is no exception. In this case they were watching from a building a few streets over, which they had acquired just last night as part of their Mistress's plans for Kazuma.

"That really is a Goddess," one said to the other. "It's a good thing she did not notice the trinket. It would be a shame for that to be a waste of energy."

"It's even better than you think," the other said. "They did a very small amount of damage to him when they tackled him to the ground. Perhaps 10HP, reduced to 5HP. It's hardly anything either way, but it was enough to trigger the pendant."

"Oh, I get you," the first succubus giggled. "Even the Goddess has a shred of lust energy inside her now. So she's far from immune. Although... If she does wind up warning the local guild about us, that could become a problem.."

"Don't worry," said the second one. "I already have a plan in motion to deal with that."

1. Megumin and Darkness find a mission.
2. Aqua tries to warn the guild about the succubus and rally an investigation!
3. Or the Destroyer could show up and ruin everyone's plans.
4. Kazuma ignores the furniture issue and tries to get a warning out to the succubus shop.
5. Something else